Daughter going on exchange trip, we need gifts. They bought us Kinder choccies so I’m thinking that kind of thing.

So far we have salt and vinegar crisps, what else?

Brown sauce and chilli were hard to get when I lived in the Germanic part of Switzerland. And humour.

Brown sauce is horrible though.

Sovereignty, apparently.

Get them a Curly Wurly just to make them pronounce it.

And worcestershire sauce flavour crisps.

Support your country of residence mols – welsh cakes, laverbread, leeks, edible tom jones cupcake toppers.

Lemsip.

Lol, we already sent her back with Welshcakes and bara brith; I’ll check out the Tom Jones cupcake toppers.

Jellied eels, parmo and BSE.

We’ve spent a lot of time in the German and Austrian mountains in the last 10 years and the only crisps are unsalted and paprika flavour (it doesn’t matter what flavour they’re supposed to be they’re just paprika crisps with varying labels)

Custard cremes? Chocolate digestives?

Barr’s Irn Bru

jaffa cakes

A bottle of Hendo’s

Blue passport, Tetley tea?

Jingoism and a general feeling of self entitlement.

But seriously….

Kettle Chips are avaliable in Germany and as such so are salt n vinegar, too. Kettle have even introduced paprika flavoured crisps for the German Market. You could go for shitty crisps like Hula-Hoops, Quavers, Monster Munch and the like. Riffled crisps are exciting and exotic here.

Marmite is on the shelves, albeit at 8€ for a medium jar. Bovril isn’t.

“Proper” tea, as in black and in a bag, is hard to find. German supermarkets have a whole aisle dedicated to tea, but it’s mostly fake tea like strawberry, fennel with aniseed, blackberry or some other made up shite.

Proper ales are hard to find, although there are a fair number of smaller breweries doing their version of a hoppy IPA and it’s all the better for it. There is only so much larger you can drink, and trust me, I’ve tried.

Decent sausages and proper bacon, i.e. not crappy American wafer thin crap, are hard to find. Their sausages have the consistency of something that has been through the grinder several times over and are generally devoid of any seasoning. Oh, and the Currywurst is an English invention thanks to the soldiers stationed in Berlin who had the idea of throwing some curry powder into the mashed up meat.

Nice biscuits are few and far between. Their offerings are usually incredibly dry and with some shitty kind of dried up Nutella. Hard to find decent dunkers. Shortbread is in the normal supermarkets.

Iced buns and that sort of sickly stuff isn’t available in the bakery, thank god.

Crumpets are none existent.

Worcester sauce is available. HP sauce isn’t, but they’ve not got decent bacon to go with it anyhow.

Baked beans are everywhere. I personally find Edeka’s own (German Tesco) better than Heinz as they’re not as sweet.

Decent pubs, rather than bare walled beer halls, but I guess you can’t put one in your suitcase. Honestly, that’s about the only thing I miss about Britain.

Cadburys creme egg

The concept is so gross no one else would ever come up with them

Golden syrup apparently

Bacon is what I miss the most. And chutney.

Adding to my earlier suggestions of welsh foods – glamorgan sausage and crempogs; might be best if your daughter practiced making crempogs at home and would/might then be confident to make them for her host family.

Roast potatoes. Yeah, I was surprised,too.

Yeah, but let’s be honest…. A roast dinner is mostly shit. Boiled veg, meat that had died out and sad spuds. (other than by my cousin Rebecca, her roast was f-in good back in October….surprisingly good given how drab her mother’s roasts were).

Schweinsbraten mit Knödel und Sauerkraut ftw.

A roast dinner is mostly shit

I suppose a shit roast dinner would be shit, so don’t eat those. A good roast dinner is a thing of joy.

She can’t take a roast dinner on a 14 hour bus trip FFS.

Golden Virginia isn’t available in Germany…..

That’d go down well.

She can’t take a roast dinner on a 14 hour bus trip FFS

Nice one. Proper laughed at that comeback 😂

She can’t take a roast dinner on a 14 hour bus trip FFS

Defeatist.

Any kind of Brexit memorabilia. Mugs, tshirts, etc. My german cousins find the whole Brexit thing simultaneously morbidly fascinating and hilarious.

Marmite is on the shelves, albeit at 8€ for a medium jar.

Bargain! €12 a jar here when I checked the other day (I have someone smuggling a jar to me from Tesco’s next week)

Golden Virginia isn’t available in Germany…..

Thank god. Hateful wet stuff that won’t burn for toffee. Thankfully they sold big bags of Drum for about 4 DM when I lived over there so even on trips back to the UK I wouldn’t have to suffer Golden Vag

Riffled crisps are exciting and exotic here.

Riffled crisps sound exciting and exotic anywhere, sufficiently that I had to google them.

Plain old crinkle cut, or in German they’re called Krinkelschnipp

And chutney.

Can get mango chutney from Edeka. They used to stock Tiptree jams and chutney but that stopped a few years ago. Can’t think why.  Try your local Asian supermarket if you can’t find it at one of the bigger stores.

Hateful wet stuff that won’t burn for toffee.

Not saying it’s good and I agree with you. Baccy is silly cheap compared to the UK.

Truffle marmite?

seemingly not available in Brussels so perhaps also not available in wherever Germany? And it is the most delicious marmite. Uncertain whether any native Belgian, or German, eats marmite though. Several Swedish colleagues were definitely not fans.

in the same vein as the BREXIT memorabilia how about some monarchy souvenirs?

How about some locally-made chocolates?
or even some non-local yet delicious hotel chocolat ones?

in the same vein as the BREXIT memorabilia how about some monarchy souvenirs?

Or some anti monarchy ones?

Pies.
There are no pies on sale in Germany. I did find one in Switzerland, it was great but €21 for something that would sit in the palm of your hand it was very spendy.

So pies. Not the sort with horrible meted pony type jetty, hoof trimmings, earlobes ringpieces and “flaps” but just a nice tasty meat / steak pie. Like the ones in Tescos…. small, round, suet pastry…..

I’ve just had a lard-on pie-gasm….

There are no pies on sale in Germany.

I don’t think anywhere else has meat pies like we do, do they?

I was very surprised and please to find sausage rolls in the Netherlands, that’s the first time I’ve seen such pastry products outside the UK. They even had them with a bit of barbecue sauce down the middle, those were good. But no pies, pasties or steak bakes or other pastry goodies.

Crisps other than BBQ or paprika. Marmite. Biscuits selection is not great. Crap beer.

I’d agree with the posters above advocating bacon, but make 100% sure they know exactly what it is.

Me and t’missus were vastly amused to return home from work one day to find her parents ( who were visiting) sat looking a bit green at the gills.
Further enquiry showed that they’d bought a pack of “speck” from sainsburys to have for lunch with their asparagus and potatoes. Apparently they’d persevered through three slices each before admitting defeat.