come this way then sir…..

A Chinese company says its automatic sperm extractor is helping clinics collect semen from donors reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting. pic.twitter.com/zBqf4wWVQi

— ManSitChoAzzDown (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019

Isn’t the angle a bit wrong? What about different heights?

So many questions! 😂

I’d imagine if they’re too embarrassed to do it in a hospital cubicle then an exhibition hall won’t provide the right ambience

Would it fit under my desk?

And you were googling for what when you found that…?

This was the image at the bottom of the post I had to double take 😳

R2-D2 has really fallen on hard times.

I was saving up for an e bike…

Lol at Martinhutch!

Does it smoke afterwards ?

Sloppy seconds anyone…… 🤮

If you think that’s bad, there’s an NHS version for Gentlemen who claim they “never, no way do that sort of thing”. Usually on religious grounds. It’s a variation of a tool used by vets and called a electroejaculation device. It may only be mythical, because after explaining what it does, and how it works, they suddenly change their mind.

Lol at Martinhutch!

I did titter!

If you think that’s bad, there’s an NHS version

and the BUPA version?

Brexit planning for when foreign nurses are sent home ??

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/SW-3701-Trolley-Type-Sperm-Collector_60488520843.html?spm=a2700.7724857.normalList.1.2a2aa0cexw7Gy4&s=p

donors reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting.

Do they mean “in a hospital setting”, or just “in a hospital”? Some people find it much more pleasurable when the other half is dressed as a nurse, for instance. Or maybe they include the hospital grounds.

And you were googling for what when you found that…?

While I’m being pedantic, that should be, “And what were you googling for when you found that…?”

$5-6K

I could pay a ‘nurse’ 100-odd times and still probably be quids in. By which time they’d probably realise I had the snip 8 years ago anyway.

senorj

I was saving up for an e bike…

if it’s a choice between the two, which one would mark you out as less of a w@nker?

I’m not too proud to admit that I might struggle to perform faced with that. It needs a catchy name – the ‘slag 2000’ or ‘glory hole xt’. Maybe ‘manjuicer’. Being electronic it could maybe have a leaderboard and for repeat ‘guests’ you could have video of a virtual you from your previous best effort to try and beat – quite literally. Maybe an electronic voice enquiring if you have put it in yet.

curious that having a thomas = too embarrassing
yet getting a blozzer from wall-e’s girlfriend = fine

Well…

I’m not too proud to admit that I might struggle to perform faced with that. It needs a catchy name

No, it just needs ‘tarting’ up a bit.  Maybe stick the back end of a panto horse over it. Or the front.  Or maybe a Spiderman suit.  Think I’d better get my Dragon’s Den application in 🙂

and the BUPA version?

Same as the NHS version, only it costs a lot and is lined with velvet.

Automation taking away people’s jobs 🙁

OK, so it will also create new jobs but one of those is going to be robot vagina cleaner.

Having played Portal, there’s no way I’m sticking my pork sword in that.

‘Preparing to dispense product’

Being electronic it could maybe have a leaderboard

Perhaps it could be a Strava segment where you could compete with your mates?

Maybe Peloton are branching out…virtual soggy biscuit game?

#sperminator

“come with me if you want to live”

It’s a variation of a tool used by vets and called a electroejaculation device.

Hmmmm, there was one being used on the springtime farm programme on telly last night.
On a prize ram, I hasten to add.
It raised eyebrows slightly with the blokes presenting the feature…

Best use of a photo of a black hole I’ve seen all day

Is knocking one off like teasing one out?

You can imagine them being used on contestants of that torture program (Endurance?) that Clive Jsmes featured on his show

I think martinhutch wins, that pingu gif had me in stitches 😂

Isn’t the angle a bit wrong? What about different heights?

So many questions! 😂

Am I the only one to knock one OUT instead of OFF. Is it a north/south thing?

No I’m sure it’s OUT.