Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

Probably for the best 😉

Erm…I’m a Simon… What have I done now??? 😬

I did go to a vegaterian eatery once, but the hostile anti meat menu left me with little choice. Although there was the paella.

You can’t have a meal unless it contains meat? I pity you.

Blimey, a bit of a light hearted comment on a thread of light hearted piss taking suddenly blew up.

Gluten free fashionistas. Making a fuss about needing gluten free food then necking beers/lagers or deciding they’ll have the apple crumble because they’ve sacrificed on their main course. My wife is coeliac for christ’s sake, and gets genuinely ill if she eats gluten. These arseholes just cause restaurant staff to roll their eyes and go yeah yeah, another pita here. Really grinds my gears. Looking at you brother in law and wife.

Its the texture I think Cougar. I do potatoes, love them, and maybe turnip, but as a kid i wasnt forced to eat the green stuff so never got into it. Quite the limited diet really. But seems to work for me.

Blimey, a bit of a light hearted comment on a thread of light hearted piss taking suddenly blew up.

Nah, this is just a bit of friendly banter. Nothing more.

Even when there is a sign that says ‘Use both lanes’?

That’s what they’re doing. The sign should really say “use either lane”.

It would be a lot less stressful for everybody if there were also signs saying “merge in 100m”, “merge in 50m”, “merge HERE”.

Film lids on food packaging that won’t peel off, despite teasing you with a little lift up corner suggesting it will be effortless.

Results in me getting stabby with a vegetable peeler or nearest similar implement. Or if it does start to peel off, it’s just the strip around edge because the bit where it touches the container has been welded on with some industrial death ray laser.

See also hard plastic blister packs that stuff like torches and multitools come in. You need an angle grinder to open them, or in a pinch a multi tool – except it’s inside the effing force field packaging!

Men that urinate in the toilets when there are urinals available

Men that urinate in the toilets when there are urinals available

And can’t be bothered to lift the seat.

Film lids on food packaging that won’t peel off, despite teasing you with a little lift up corner suggesting it will be effortless.

Results in me getting stabby with a vegetable peeler or nearest similar implement. Or if it does start to peel off, it’s just the strip around edge because the bit where it touches the container has been welded on with some industrial death ray laser.

See also hard plastic blister packs that stuff like torches and multitools come in. You need an angle grinder to open them, or in a pinch a multi tool – except it’s inside the effing force field packaging!

All of this. How hard is it to make food-safe glue which is slightly weaker than the film it’s retaining?

I was once in Lakeland or some other pretentious ‘lifestyle’ shop. They were selling special cutters for opening blister packs… packaged in a blister pack. Turtles all the way down, man.

The reason I have a numb patch on my finger is due trying to ram a table knife into a plasic food package and slipping, and then gouging a chunk out of my finger.

I’d say that’s legitimately angry rather than disproportionately angry!

Still got the scar two years later, although if anyone asks, I got it from fending off an aggressive barracuda whilst snorkeling.

Weetabix boxes and the detritus they leave in their wake no matter how carefully you try to get a Weetabix out of said box.

Pour the milk into the box before removing the weetabix. Problem solved! ;-)

Car insurance renewal email just come through, insurance has gone up by £122 (approx 25%!) that’s made me cross (not disproportionately). What has made me disproportionately cross is this that was in the email:

”Flow will always provide its best price first time, based on your individual details. Flow doesn’t haggle on renewal price or respond to emails about renewal price matching.”

Now I’ve got to faff around looking at those irritating insurance comparison websites.

Now I’ve got to faff around looking at those irritating insurance comparison websites.

At least you can get some cashback though with a new policy. Normally saves another £40 or so on top. We use topcashback’s own comparison site normally

Trades that come out to have a look at the thing you want doing and tell you they’ll send a quote “in the next couple of days” and then radio silence. If you don’t want the work, then just **** say so on the phone, don’t bother coming out – that means I have to be home and take time out of work, and then neither of us has to bugger about with this shit.

Anyone know a good roofer and a fencer in South Manchester who actually wants the work?

Potential customers who after visiting their houses to see what they want doing, and then spending parts of your evenings researching what is needed for the job in parts, materials and likely labour costs, all at the best prices, doing them careful presentation drawings to give them a good idea of what it might look like and providing them with a quote in a couple of days, then radio silence. They never get back to you. Not even to pay you the courtesy of saying that it’s outside of their budget currently. Nothing…

😡

When there is right turn box  on a straight road and then some numpty leaves the arse end of the car hanging into the live lane so any cars behind have to stop.

Potential customers who after visiting their houses to see what they want doing

They’re probably still in shock that someone turned up.

Window cleaners for me. Like, how hard can it be to find a goddamn window cleaner? I hired a national company who had a revolutionary technique of using “water,” three visits later I had wet windows rather than clean ones. I collared a liveried van on the double yellows outside my house whilst they were going (“I’ll only be a minute”) to the chippie three doors down, they came once and never again. I saw them a second time, went “where were you” and they said I hadn’t paid them, which was a lie but I paid them again anyway, haven’t seen them since. Then when my mum died I called her cleaner, he said he’d either come round or send a mate in the area, nothing.

Gods help me if I ever need a big job doing.

Window cleaners for me. Like, how hard can it be to find a goddamn window cleaner?

It can really be a pane.

Shut up. I see right through you.

🤣

From this morning…

Fully able people who park in the disabled spots right outside my gym, get the lift to the first floor where the equipment is, and then go walking on the running machines.

Just go for a bloody walk!

To answer the OP – **** everything! 😂

People who block the pump at the petrol station when they aren’t buying fuel, just a crap take-away coffee and some fags.

Honestly, we need to rethink that as a system. “Oh, I can’t park my car up after buying fuel, they might think I’m stealing it.” So they leave their car at the back pump blocking off several others whilst they go and do their weekly shop in a goddamn petrol station.

Just.

****.

The ****.

Off.

Fully able people who park in the disabled spots right outside my gym, get the lift to the first floor where the equipment is, and then go walking on the running machines.

Just go for a bloody walk!

FTFY. Running sucks, I don’t know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you’re going to do it, why not do it outside where it’s nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.

FTFY. Running sucks, I don’t know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you’re going to do it, why not do it outside where it’s nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.

Because, well – reasons!!  I’m trying to ease my way back into running after an ACL op and for the time being, a treadmill is just easier. More cushioned, predicable, stable surface to run on.  It’s hilly in every direction by me were I to run from the door, with poor surfaces and I’m not ready for that yet.  I’m getting there though and I agree, I much prefer running outdoors and my goal is to get back to it as soon as I can.

I’m trying to ease my way back into running after an ACL op and for the time being, a treadmill is just easier.

That I can understand. Otherwise, the idea of gyms just boils my piss.

My colleague eats a banana every morning.

He peels the entire thing out of its skin.

The first few chews make it sound like its a stick of rock. really crunchy. its not. its a soft banana.

upon completion he will then lick and suck the end of each finger, removing the banana residue.

Boils my urine. How do you make a crunch sound? If you didnt remove the whole thing from its skin, you wouldnt get need to suck on each finger tip, then wipe your spitty fingers on your trousers to dry them off….. GRRRRRrrrraaaaugggghhhhhhaaaaaaaayouidiot!

Lovely bloke mind!

My colleague eats a banana every morning.

Years ago as a student, I had a part-time job in a chip shop and every morning break we were treated to a choice of a pastry from the local bakers. The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod whilst trying to bite into them. It is making me shiver just recalling this in writing.

@johndoh
Thanks for sharing. Not.

Stuff that makes other people disproportionatly cross (apparently)

The bloke this morning in his tatty Astra coming the wrong way up a one-way residential street and expecting me to pull over to let him by, by shouting at me to “Just **** pull over mate” You know what dude, if you’d have asked nicely, or even just reversed straight away, you wouldn’t have wound yourself up into a frothing rage this morning.

****.

The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod whilst trying to bite into them. It is making me shiver just recalling this in writing.

Just think what she might’ve done with your willy.

You’re welcome.

The bloke this morning in his tatty Astra coming the wrong way up a one-way residential street and expecting me to pull over to let him by, by shouting at me to “Just **** pull over mate” You know what dude, if you’d have asked nicely, or even just reversed straight away, you wouldn’t have wound yourself up into a frothing rage this morning.

Ah yes. The old “you’ve gone out of your way to be a self-entitled git and now this is somehow my problem to resolve” manoeuvre. I keep a book in the glovebox for such scenarios.

Just think what she might’ve done with your willy.

She was a pro.

The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod

Slight thread diversion (and I may have regaled this before), but this reminds me of a similar experience. It didn’t make me disproportionately cross though. It had a much more physical effect. Mid 1980s, I was on the Liverpool to Douglas IOM ferry. In those days the Manx Steam Packet boats didn’t have stabilisers. It was December, the boat was packed and the sea was very, very rough. The ship was pitching and rolling violently. I was congratulating myself on my sea legs and cast iron stomach as chaos ensued all around. Plates smashing, stuff flying off tables, crying, groaning and vomiting. Lots and lots of vomiting – everywhere you looked.  I went to the heads and it was ankle deep in spew with a little tidal wave going back and forth as the boat pitched. Every trap, urinal and sink had someones head in it, hurling their intestines into the void.

I was still holding it together and sat down at a table and the bloke opposite me also seemed unperturbed by the seas. He glanced at me. There was a kinship I thought, two hardy sailors in the midst of all this mayhem.  He was an old geezer and he took his metal sandwich tin out and opened it.  I knew immediately what was on the sandwiches as I could smell it.  Fish paste. I don’t like fish paste. The smell of this mixed with the all pervading smell of vomit and a faint whiff of diesel was quite distinctive.  I watched in horror, seemingly in slow motion as his lifted his fishy sarnie to his toothless gob and began sucking at it. Noisily, with a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. This image is etched in my brain. In that very instant, the contents of my stomach decided they needed to vacate my body with unseemly haste.  I was so completely taken by surprise at this rapid turn of events, that I only just managed to turn my head a fraction and avoid hosing the bloke from head to foot with diced carrots and tomato skins.

Not my proudest moment.

One thousand replies.  Blimey, we are a frustrated bunch aren’t we?

FTFY. Running sucks, I don’t know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you’re going to do it, why not do it outside where it’s nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.

You’re assuming I was running.

I was picking things up and putting them down again.

I completely agree with you on running outdoes and that’s where I do it.

I was getting disproportionately angry at people using disabled spaces when they shouldn’t, being too lazy to walk up a single flight of stairs in the gym, and then walking on a running machine.

When they could have just gone for a walk in the great outdoors.