Car has been stood for two years. Recharged battery, popped fresh fuel in.

Car turns over a few times then makes like a rapid- machine gun noise (stops when you turn the ignition key anti-clockwise again). What is that?

the engine.

what do I win?

Sounds like there isn't enough charge in the battery, try jump starting it from another car.

Is it a fast clicking sound?

Are you sure its not a machine gun?

starter not engaging? Try a few times.

sticking valve?

I have- just worried that its causing problems if I keep Haineys AK47's firing 🙄

My tuppence is it's the starter solenoid

Put it in gear rock it backwards and forwards then give it another go.

As I have said already, there probably isn't enough charge in the battery to keep the starter motor turning, all you can hear is the solenoid constantly firing!!!

Sounds like a stuck valve, the oil thickens with time, usually the engine will run for a few miles then the valve will just stick open.

Piston, valve, valve guide and probably cylinder will be FUBAR.

Could also just be normal engine noises, mine makes a horrific din when first started after several weeks off, quietens down after 30-40 seconds and the oil gets to where its needed.

Ah got it. http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/breakdown_advice/carcough.html

Its the flat battery-sound in the link. Lights, windows work. Will take out and recharge.

Has the engine actually started??? As I doubt it would be a sticking valve if it hasn't.

I would have whipped the spark plugs out and poured some petrol directly into the cylinders. Not much but just something to help it start if it had been lying that long.

I would guess that the battery is Bu99erd, if you have tried to charge it already. Get it jumpstarted, check there is a charge coming from the alternator, take it for a drive (a good one of 10 miles or more) or leave it running for an hour or so. Then leave it alone for a couple of hours, then check if it starts, if it doesn't then the battery has had it, not uncommon after being left for that amount of time….

I thought you said it turned over a few times before the noise? If it's turning over, then the battery's working clearly.

Oil can drain out of the hydraulic tappets when you leave it standing, causing a loud clatter when it starts, but that should go after a few seconds.

If it were my car and it were petrol I'd remove the spark plug leads and turn it over a few times to get some oil circulating. If it were a diesel I'd remove the wire from the fuel solenoid 🙂

Turn the lights on and try and start it, do the lights go dim?

As others have said, you dont say if the engine has started or if you're trying to start?

Take the plugs out, spray some WD40 down the plug holes and turn the engine over by hand using a ratchet and socket on the crankshaft to work it around the cylinders before trying to start it.

It is the most common sound I hear on the forecourt!!! 👿

With over 50 cars sat in front of me and doing the job for 10 years, I can honestly say, I don't have a week go past where I don't hear this noise…The starter motor will turn a few times then go to the solenoid click. It will also do it several times before there is just the clicking sound only…..

spray some wd40 on random parts of the engine.
that'll sort it.

Yea, could be batrtery fireing the solenoid repeatedly, I'd sitll change the oil and filter before starting it up after that long though. Even if you just replace it with 20/50 from morrisons at £1.85 a gallon it'll do the job.

Sounds like a knackered battery.

If it's already been turned over there's not much point putting oil down the bores. Jump start it or new battery.

Gingerblokes advice is worth following.

Remember, if you can get it to start it's best to rev the nuts off it immediately.

lol at johnners. Its the law!!

use jumps leads sfrom a running car or a booster starter to force the thing to start not enough power to turn over starter.

Jeez all these posts and the most likely and obv answer not given, sounds like the starter motor is not disengaging, remove , WD40 ,refit, job done

Definitely the battery. No need to rev the nuts off it 😀 Charge it, fire it, drive it.

But you did remember to take the ignition king lead off and crank over for 10-15 seconds before firign it properly didn't you, to get oil back in the journal bearings and coat the required parts after such a long period of draining?

No need to rev the nuts off it

But it's hora, and it is the law!

Makes me cry to see engines revved from start. White van men do it all the time. Sniff. Sniff.

Wow. Clarke Charger/Starter- STARTED first time when plugged in. fan kicked in to cool later on (30mins later) and the steam stopped coming out of the back.

Hire cars – I've always thrashed them as soon as Ive turned the key. Try it next time you hire one. See how quickly you can set off and at speed as you turn the key 😉

Hire cars – I've always thrashed them as soon as Ive turned the key. Try it next time you hire one. See how quickly you can set off and at speed as you turn the key

Evil, evil man. But they do say no car is as fast as a hire car!

Wow. Clarke Charger/Starter- STARTED first time when plugged in.

And I thank you!!!

Hire cars should always be started in 1st gear without using the clutch.

Got a Corrado that does that when the battery is flat. Really should drive it more…

Pug306- left up to rot fine but a Corrado? You should be ashamed of yourself 😕

Remember, if you can get it to start it's best to rev the nuts off it immediately

+1

Especially if its a diesel,floor it until it bounces off the rev limter…

😉

I know, getting it back on the road this weekend, just hid it in the garage for a few months with crappy weather and didn't get round to running it for a couple of weeks.. killed that battery…

killed that battery…

You sure? Halfords tested mine and said zero charge/dead.

I started the car again using its own charge and it fired up first time. Thats a battery thats been sat for 2yrs.

yep, wouldn't hold charge at all, previous owner had bought a halfords one that came with a 5 year warranty so it was replaced without issue, just had to pay a bit to get a heavy duty battery as previous was a standard, don't think a vr6 engine did it any good…

How old is yours etc? I had a quick look and most look like they've fallen into the hands of people who live with their Mums (skimp on spend and add aftermarket alloys/gash head units or…..TCS who seem to think they can sell the SAME cars for 2k more 🙁

….then there are the rare ones that resemble the vision that I remember from my youth 😀

If a battery's flat for more than a day or two, it'll be ruined. Just a fact of lead acid battery chemistry.