Hi, had great support from the single-track-dads a month ago, so thought I would seek some wisdom on this number too.

Yesterday I was meant to go riding with a mate, 90 minute drive, all agreed with the missus. In the morning she went mental, ended up being over an hour late, didn’t meet up with mate, ended up just driving back as so hacked off and needed to do work.

We’ve worked through the hard feelings and in hindsight I handled it poorly – shouldn’t have bothered going.

Looking forward are there any tips about combining mtb and being a new Dad? Should I just accept that I can’t for 6 months? Am I going to be limited to night riding or nothing else.

Life hacks please. Alex

Should I just accept that I can’t for 6 months?

6 months? I admire your optimism 😉

Best thing you can do is buy yourself a decent set of lights. New babies are so labour intensive that disappearing off for most of the day at the weekend is never going to play well, no matter what’s said initially.

But you can still get out at night. Once the little ‘in has got his head down for a few hours, head out yourself and get a couple of hours in. When my two were little I did this all the time. So much so that when I eventually got a day out riding, it felt a bit weird that it was daylight and I was on my bike. A decent set of lights were the best money I ever spent!

Yeah, that was how it worked. She agreed to something she was never going to actually wear…

i found panniers good too. quick night ride under the pretext of getting some shopping in meant i got a few times aweek for an hours blast

edit forget the big days out for now

Depends on the kid, Mrs and your local riding. Took a long time before our lad slept reliably so couldn’t plan anything and the night before had a big impact on the following day.

I still rode lots but it was last minute, agreed on the day and often solo due to short notice. Luckily have awesome riding from the door.

Tips – kit prepped, organised and bike serviced ready to go at a moments notice.
Mates prepped but warned of lack of commitment.
Road bike was quicker and easier for me and a lot of mates, works better solo for me too.
Try to get into a routine – I have first refusal on Wed night and Sunday morning.
Do the same for her so she has time too.
After 1 yr, the trailer was great. Got a ride in, time with the boy and he loved it.

Should I just accept that I can’t for 6 months? Am I going to be limited to night riding or nothing else.

Absolutely not. Never quite understood this thing where normal life stops just cos there’s a baby on the scene. You just have to be more organised. Plan things way in advance, agree them with the Mrs, but maintain some flexibility for situations like above. It helps if she has something to do too, so she doesn’t feel like she’s making all the sacrifices. My Mrs used to go climbing one night a week, and I’d go biking every other weekend. There’s no reason why you can’t maintain some semblance of life pre-baby, it just takes more effort.

One night ride per week on a given day

ANything else is a bonus

Trails are not going away and nothing in your life is harder or more time intensive than young kids

I assume you’ve got a new baby? I think that while the baby is very young you’re riding has to take a back seat. You need to make that sacrifice in the first 12 months or so at least – biking may be a big thing in your life but there is no competition compared to a new baby – and the mum! I don’t mind admitting that after 2 kids the first 12 or so months or so is hell. I didn’t enjoy them at all and just longed for the baby to get a bit older. So it’s a case of hunkering down and just getting through and grab whatever time on the bike you can.

After 18 months to 24 months when the baby is in a more settled routine, then you can start to establish a biking routine. Mine consists of 2 rides per week – an early get up on the weekend to sneak in 3hrs or so before midday, and one after-work ride for a couple of hours. Works well for me now i’m in the routine. I’ve also established a weekend a year with the biking lads too.

Sticking there – any investment now in the toughest time will be rewarded later.

Have a bag ready to go by the door always. The moment may not be too predictable, but the clouds will part occasionally – though forget long aimless days in the hills for a bit/until retirement. And figure out local places to ride to maximise saddle time vs driving time. I, erm, became a peaked helmeted roadie for a while – discovered how excellent the local lanes were.

Have a discussion with your wife.
Mrs_OAB knows that if I (and she) do not get out for ride/walk/paddle/fresh air, I (and she) are grumpy_oab’s. It is worth the effort of supporting each other to get out and refresh, no matter how tired or stressed we are. It is not perfect, but as others have said you do ‘downgrade’ a bit on how far away or how regularly – but I still managed weekends away when they were below 1, and mrs_oab visited family etc for weekends or days when they were young.

Wait until you have three – one seems a walk in the park. 😉

get a road bike. you can do a quick 1.5hr ride out the door and back keeps the fitness there until things settle down about 1.5 years in.

Driving and riding means you’re out for 5-6 hours. this gets them angry.

grumpy_oab’s

Grumpy_noab’s surely?

Just sell the bloody thing. That’s what I’m thinking right now

Ride from home no matter how crap it is. Ride at night, accept that plans will change and also you will be solo a lot. I did more 5:30am and 8pm rides in yr 1 than I have done in my whole life ! My wife gets 3 mornings a week to ride so I get free reign at night- tue and Thursdays. Makes weekends easier as no pressure to be out riding all day. To balance it though we have had to compromise a lot and communicate well

Little miss CD is 3 days old. I can’t imagine having enough energy to ride at the moment but Mrs CD has agreed to me going on a long skiing weekend in May and a similar biking one next summer. I half expect the passes to be rescinded nearer to the dates.

Thanks for the advice

Looks like this is me:

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V35jvY0u7I[/video]

Just sell the bloody thing. That’s what I’m thinking right now

Haha, have seriously considered this during the worst times thinking it may be less frustrating to just not own any of the bloody things.

As has been said, decent lights. And a turbo too, at least you can keep up your fitness so when you can ride again you can still enjoy it. Also you can watch the baby monitor on the turbo so the missus can get out the house.

My boy is 4.5 months. He still wakes every hour all night so we have to take in shifts to look after him. Luckily i can commute by bike and generally get a short notice ride in some time at the weekend if we arent at relations. Im lucky to hit 5hrs a week now, prior i was 10-15. Im a little grumpy too. Im thinking of a decent turbo setup.

Gravity-slave has it.

All I’d add is that you need to ride local to keep it short, get lights to ride at night and wet weather gear as nice weather days will be “quality family time”.

Commuting is great as well. I started riding when eldest was born, as I could an hour in from home rather than two hours to and from the gym. I started commuting by bike when I fell asleep at the wheel going to work one morning after a bad baby night and realised what a danger to others I was.

And whatever time you have, she gets the same. My wife was back running her Guide unit within a month as her weekly night away from baby duties.

And don’t underestimate how many new mums have postnatal depression. Keep an eye out for her and the baby.

You’ll get your riding back in time. You won’t get the time they are babies back. Ever.

Gravity slave has it right I think. It very much depends on the child and partner . We have just had our second child and if anything I am riding more , as going out at night to a restaurant etc isn’t an option . I go out early on the weekend for a 3 to 4 hour ride , and twice after work during the week (usually two hours, straight from my desk) However , I do basically nothing else . No gigs , bars with friends etc . She goes and does her thing for a few nights a week , usually seeing friends or whatever . Very much couple/ child dependent I think

Ride local and ride short/fast.

If you haven’t got close local trails then get a road bike.

Buy a road / CX bike.
Just change your mindset and riding style and times.

I used to drive to ride most weekends ,pre baby. Then I stopped and bought a cxbike. This serves as a fun bike and a commuter. 4hour plus rides are a treat these days,so to waste 2 out of those four in a car is daft imo .
Whenever I do a trip or big ride ,I like to coincide it with a visit from the inlaws 😉 .

@Rob, congratulations old chap!!

Oh and, re the trips away, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

But then you knew that didn’t you? 😀

My view…first few months be thankful for what you get…1st child is tougher than 2nd. It also depends on your circumstances: we had no local family support (more obligations to support others) and I have a job that regularly sees me work late or away so mrs g-d was doing more than her share even before I’d cleared off for a ride.

For me I got back into night riding after a few months as I’d fallen out of the habit. Straight from work, one night a week whenever I could – had less impact than chewing up weekend time.

If I rode at the weekend we’d try and ensure we went somewhere together (eg. somewhere with bike trails, walking trails and a café) I could get an hour’s blast.

Road rides = good (well as good as mixing with the South’s drivers can be)

More utility cycling – ride to the local shops, ride to Tesco for nappies (taking the seafront route), cycle to work occasionally (it’s 16 miles for me).

The kids are bigger now but actually this is how I still do the majority of my ‘me-time’ riding -using the evenings and mornings. The difference is that we now ride as a family fairly regularly at weekends.

After 18 months to 24 months when the baby is in a more settled routine

😯

Seems I had either a very understanding Mrs, or very easy babies, or both probably. If anything I reckon I got out more after the kids were born as I needed to ride the bike to de-stress. My Mrs would send me out even when I couldn’t be bothered as she knew I’d come back in a much better mood. She still does 🙂

+1 on a road bike.

If you want an ‘away’ trip ride on a saturday where you’ll be out of the house for the day, have the Monday off work to be at home helping out.
Try that one.

Congrats on the baby. I’m 17 weeks into ours now. Its been good and bad so far. Not just bike related but in general.

I got a cx bike to ride to work on. Its done about 100 miles and I’ve shelved it. If she’s up in the morning I’m late for work and I need to get home asap to help.

Mtb is going well with a regular Wednesday night ride. Other planned rides not so much. Had a skills day in Hebden this sat and got a call half way through saying come home. Luckily the tutor was great with it all. Makes you mad at the time but it’s going to happen so may as well just shelve it.

Also there will always be folks that can carry on their normal life after kids. Someone told me there’s having kids and being a parent. They aren’t the same

I’ve got a 4 month old. Not been out at the weekend since he arrived. Instead I commute on a road fixie…about 8 miles each way….keeps things ticking over in the cycling compartment. Maybe you could do similar?

Just sell the bloody thing. That’s what I’m thinking right now

No! Don’t do that. Selling children is NOT cool.

Don’t take this woman’s money. Not even if she throws the bike into the deal.

Please. Think of the children.

Also there will always be folks that can carry on their normal life after kids. Someone told me there’s having kids and being a parent. They aren’t the same

?

So if you go out on the bike and try to hold on to a little bit of your life pre-kids you’re a bad parent? 🙄

andybrad – Member
Also there will always be folks that can carry on their normal life after kids. Someone told me there’s having kids and being a parent. They aren’t the same

Careful now …. 🙂

Depends what ‘go out on the bike’ means.

I’ve seen some people (blokes) carry on exactly as before, riding as much as they like leaving their other half holding the baby. In some instances that was fine – the mother was perfectly happy with it, in others, it was clear that the mother wasn’t and that leads to major issues, resentment, hacksaws being taken to bike frames…

There isn’t a simple answer. Some kids are harder work than others, parents are different, some have family/friends nearby who help, others don’t. Some new mums also want to be out doing mtbing/whatever other hobby but can’t for various reasons.

As usual it comes down to expectation and communication. If your other half feel trapped and gets no time to herself (even if there’s nothing you can do), sometimes, support and sacrifice can help and that might just mean you being there rather than sodding off, living your pre-kid life with negligible impact.

Or not.

FWIW, for me, it’s early morning rides before work (once the kids were sleeping though the night), maybe one night ride a week and sometimes a shortish (2hr) ride at the weekend.

Oooh.

What I’m saying is look after your family. Some folks think it’s not their job to deal with the baby stuff ( and everything else) . Hence what I posted.

What I’m saying is look after your family.

Well that’s ok then. Given the context and the way you wrote it I was under the impression you were suggesting something else.

It’s proper tough in the early days, I had 2-3 weeks off completely, then rode once a week, at the weekend for a hour or two – I needed the time off frankly – my riding went to shit mind, I was exhausted before I started from the lack of sleep and trying to juggle working full-time and helping at home.

I didn’t really get back into it properly until ours was 5 months and started to sleep through the night properly – that was a huge step, massive – after that things get a little easier as time passes – ours is 15 months now and whilst there’s a lot of challenges still, it’s much easier – I’m back to my normal routine of a morning or afternoon out at the weekend and a few hours after work once a week (daylight permitting) or going to the gym.

As for OP’s OH ‘outburst’ it’s to be expected, hormones everywhere and the tension sort of builds up – babies are lots of hard work and the thought of being alone with them can be far worse than actually being alone with them – you don’t say how old Baby is, but I think you were being a bit over optimistic going for such a long way before riding – 90 min drive each way, 3 hours riding? bit of a de-brief – it’s a good chunk of the day, I’d go local and shorter – I’ve learned to ride far more aggressively over a shorter distance so I at least feel like I’ve had a good ride, even if I’ve only been out an hour.

More of an observation than fact but as I’ve seen it the woman gets pretty used to the idea that life is going to be significantly different when the child arrives (and before…) because they’ve got this big bump reminding them non stop for several months.

The bloke OTOH can continue largely as before and it takes a while to realise that their old life while technically still possible to continue is in practical terms, probably gone (with the caveats in my previous post). Loads of blokes end up trying to continue their previous hobbies (eg getting out on the bike) while also doing the parenting, not really getting that it often doesn’t work all that well with constant stress, chasing home/being late/etc.

That was definitely me early on and I clearly recall when I had that moment of clarity and things got a lot easier to deal with afterwards, though I undoubtedly ended up on the bike less.

So don’t try and work out how to recreate your old life, work out what your new life really means and then plan out your cycling accordingly but expect to be flexible as kids tend not to work to plans 🙂

I now have 2 young kids, when they were super young I still managed to get out evenings and mornings, but going out all day wasn’t really on the cards very much (maybe as the odd “treat” if the inlaws were visiting or if we were visiting them).

The key is being flexible. I ride solo a lot more, always clean and lube the bike after a ride so it’s ready at a moment’s notice (unless there’s a crisis when I get home). As the kids have grown my timings have changed. The current favourite is Saturday afternoon as the oldest does her gymnastics then, but I do manage the odd day trip now (ages 4 years and 18 months).

I have sometimes had to watch the weekend slipping away when my wife’s been ill or the kids have been playing up/ill, however now they are both just the right size to both fit in my trailer so that opens up possibilities (not for the most exciting trails, I admit).

Just have done with it and buy yourself some running shoes.

Top, shorts and shoes on, out the door, 10k around the local woods, back and showered in little over an hour.

An hour is a good workout when running so you get the endorphin kick and are back before anyone has noticed.

Ready to help out for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge you’ve done something you wanted to do….. (has your Mrs had the chance to do the same …?)

Oh and the added bonus is that it doesnt cost a bl00dy fortune