Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 80 total)
  • God help us, these people can vote (humour)
  • theotherjonv
    Full Member

    My daughter’s met up with her school friend, both back from Uni. Her friend’s second year at Med school and has been doing some GP shadowing – and had someone in this term with difficulty hearing and a painful ear.

    On enquiring, he’d been pressure washing his patio and…… yep. Wondered what it would feel like.

    dyna-ti
    Full Member

    In their defence, though i was a kid at the time. I wondered how long it took an electric cooker ring to heat up to the point i had to snatch my finger off it when set on full.

    Lets just say it was pretty damn quick to go from cold to badly burned finger.

    Rich_s
    Full Member

    Your ring finger presumably?

    Poopscoop
    Full Member

    and had someone in this term with difficulty hearing and a painful ear.

    I need to know the context, were they teens/twenties* or old enough to have definitely known better?!😁

    * Guessing it was a bloke (come on, we all know it was) and only partially developed frontal lobes etc etc at that age.

    Caher
    Full Member

    Had an ex who was an A&E doc who told me how many Willy (not the EastEnders dog) related mishaps she has to deal with was Darwinesq.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Oh, come on, anything is a butt plug if you’re brave enough….

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Middle aged man apparently. She was so close to bursting out laughing

    thols2
    Full Member

    I once turned up home about dawn after a big night out drinking and decided to heat up some frozen rice in the microwave. I wasn’t sure if it was hot in the middle so I poked my finger into it. See if you can guess the answer.

    didnthurt
    Full Member

    Seen a photo of someone’s finger you did something similar with their jetwasher. It was pretty mangled 🤮

    Northwind
    Full Member

    I once got so fascinated by the pretty shadows being cast by my wheel reflectors as they spun, that I rode straight into a parked car at about 20mph.

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    My local council is overwhelmingly Labour, but my MP is a conservative.

    Makes you think.

    crazy-legs
    Full Member

    Had an ex who was an A&E doc who told me how many Willy (not the EastEnders dog) related mishaps she has to deal with was Darwinesq

    I’ve got similar stories from a paramedic friend of mine.

    Oh, come on, anything is a butt plug if you’re brave enough…

    It’s quite amazing how many people walk around the house naked and fall backwards onto things. Seems to happen a lot while hoovering. 😳

    piemonster
    Full Member

    Oh, come on, anything is a butt plug if you’re brave enough….

    Best not post this on a small pets forum…

    longdog
    Free Member

    I got jet washed in the eye once, Jesus it hurt like hell!

    My ex wash jet washing the car at a garage while I was sat in it. Wound down the window a touch to say something, and she turned to speak to me, pointing the jet wash at my face as she did. It was absolutely agony and I could hardly see out of one eye ot was so swollen and watering and we had to wait for ages for it to settle enough for me to drive 15miles home as she couldn’t drive.

    towzer
    Full Member

    As a small child, having grown up off grid with lots of coal and wood I got quite a big surprise when I poked our first electric fire.

    nickc
    Full Member

    PM of a GP practice – All our pat enquiries are online, I sometimes get the job of the basic triage that the reception team do (what needs to be seen on the day, what can wait etc etc) and trust me, you would not believe what the public will do to themselves. I have to constantly remind myself that some of these folks are apparently functioning adults with jobs, children…

    andrewh
    Free Member

    Best not post this on a small pets forum

    Save it for mumsnet

    Klunk
    Free Member

    “Just rolled in” on utube

    avdave2
    Full Member

    You know in cartoons when someone stands on a garden rake. Well it turns out it really does smack you really hard in the face.

    poly
    Free Member

    PM of a GP practice – All our pat enquiries are online, I sometimes get the job of the basic triage that the reception team do (what needs to be seen on the day, what can wait etc etc) and trust me, you would not believe what the public will do to themselves. I have to constantly remind myself that some of these folks are apparently functioning adults with jobs, children…

    I’ve heard some of them will balance on top of some metal tubes linked to a couple of wheels in an inherently unstable configuration and try to stay on it whilst hurtling down a hill.  Apparently some of them try to justify this burden on the state by saying it’s good for both mental and physical health.  Grown adults; Behaving like children.

    thols2
    Full Member

    I got jet washed in the eye once, Jesus it hurt like hell!

    I had a “mate” at high-school who liked to surprise people by yelling out their name and then throwing a ball at their head so it smacked them in the face. He did it to me once with one of those huge rubber bands from about three feet away. Got me right in the eye. ****ing hilarious, apparently.

    StuF
    Full Member

    Being the creative type as a pre secondary school with sensible parents who didn’t let their children play with weapons. I decided it would be good to build a cross bow out of Lego. It worked brilliantly, firing bits of Lego across the room. Until a Lego technic steering wheel got stuck on the elastic band and released itself

    StuF
    Full Member

    That lost half my post. Steering wheel hit me in the eye, trip to the docs, half my face covered in iodine my to my embarrassment

    thelawman
    Full Member

    Since this seems an opportunity to fess up to stupid behaviour, I’ll join in.

    As a fairly small child, I got hold of a packet of Swan Vesta matches, the non-safety type. Had the bright idea of scratching the tip off one with my thumbnail. You can guess the rest… it certainly smarts. Ah well, we learn much by childhood experiences.

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    I had to have a Lego man’s head removed from my nostril when I was a child!

    alpin
    Free Member

    On a family holiday (not just my folks and sister, but all 7 aunts plus 23 cousins) I had the amazing idea of trying to walk on water by putting the swim arm bands on my ankles and jumping into the pool.

    I nearly drowned and had to be rescued.

    My aunts will often remind me 30 odd years later.

    Was a memorable lesson is physics.

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    There was a fairly tall fir tree growing on a slope near where I grew up. It was great fun to run down the slope towards it and then jump as high as you could into the branches. These would gentle bounce you back down to the ground and you fell from branch to branch.

    Then one of the gang, let’s call him WCA, decided it would be a great idea to climb to the top of the tree and jump from up there. It was only about 50-60ft tall so what could possibly go wrong?

    It turns out that the branches near the top point upwards more so that instead of cushioning you on the foliage, they roll you back towards the tree trunk where there is no soft foliage, just scratchy little brush wood and a few big, hard branches.

    Falling 50 feet through scratching fir branches is an effective way of lacerating the skin across the entire body whilst the big branches you hit will successfully break 5 – 6 ribs. Neither the doctors nor my parents really believed that I was ‘just riding along’ and hit the tree as I tried to explain the circumstances of the injury.

    singletrackmind
    Full Member

    Sugar soap does not contain sugar, or taste very nice.
    I also had a fascination with mums pressure cooker , and desperately wanted to open it whilst it was hissing away. My mum told me a horror story about someone who died to ensure that I didn’t. I still want to open one though.

    sirromj
    Full Member

    I once put my finger in a light socket to see if it was on.

    Poopscoop
    Full Member

    An ex of mine had a lad that was about 10 from memory. I took him out “mountain biking” and at the bottom of a long hill thought I would amaze him with my knowledge of physics. I said to touch his rear rotor and he promptly grabbed it. Poor little sod had a perfect red imprint of the rotor on his hand instantly.

    I very sheepishly had to call his mum to come pick him up as he couldn’t hold the handlebar properly. Amazingly we are all still friends and he went on to become an airline pilot.

    He doesn’t seem to think my physics lesson helped in that achievement at all though which seems a little ungrateful.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Wondered how long it would take WCA to appear on the thread

    jimmy748
    Full Member

    Our farm yard entrance is about 100 yards up the road from the farmhouse, as young lads me and my brother would often sit on the boot edge with the tailgate up (Subaru estate) legs dangling, one day I thought I could jump out and run in the opposite direction, cue me sitting at the table with my Gramdma and Aunties picking bits of gravel out my face with tweezers for the next hour or so.

    redmex
    Free Member

    At a stag day out quad biking one of the older guys rolled his quad at a simple obstacle at the safety briefing luckily only winding himself

    Lost his £50 as he didn’t get to participate but it also meant the organisers used the black flag too often but they were ignored. It was great fun taking them to their limits

    Cougar
    Full Member

    On a family holiday (not just my folks and sister, but all 7 aunts plus 23 cousins) I had the amazing idea of trying to walk on water by putting the swim arm bands on my ankles and jumping into the pool.

    I nearly drowned and had to be rescued.

    I did that also. Not to ‘walk on water’ but because I realised that when trying to swim it was the back half of me that sank the most.

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    There’s a steep cobbled side street near my old house that’s sometimes used as a shortcut to the larger road at the bottom from the top road, to save time from driving a bit further around.

    Well, one cold and icy morning I was out de-icing my car and I saw someone decide to attempt to drive down it.

    ‘Oh no..’ I said under my breath when i noticed them. You guessed it, they lost grip pretty much imediatley and became a passenger as thier car slowly pinballed down, bouncing off several parked cars in the process.

    Driver was fine as it was pretty slow, but inevitable. Bet that one was fun filling out the insurance claim form!

    pk13
    Full Member

    How hot is the fag lighter in a car game (if you can actually remember them) answer so hot it sticks the element to your finger hot.

    Did it twice

    mattyfez
    Full Member
    CountZero
    Full Member

    Don’t put sugary treats in the toaster.

    Ha! Place I used to work in the centre of town had a little family cafe just around the corner, so it became a regular thing for people to pop round to buy snacks for mid morning. There were the obvious things like fried egg sandwiches and buns, but microwaved jam donuts were very popular too.
    It was very quickly learned how much the centre resembles a thermonuclear reactor. “Ok, just bite the side opposite the hole the jam’s squirted in through…” “Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!” As it squirted out of the hole straight onto your fingers. The blisters took some time to heal… 😖

    thols2
    Full Member

    It was very quickly learned how much the centre resembles a thermonuclear reactor.

    Back when I was a student, I had a flatmate who was probably the most talkative person I’ve ever met, she would just go on for hours (luckily, she had a boyfriend who was the opposite, he would just sit there silently for hours while she nattered on.) Anyway, one evening she came home late and hungry and decided to microwave a boiled egg from the fridge. Of course, when she bit into it, the middle was boiling hot and exploded into her mouth. I had to drive her down to the hospital for emergency attention, her mouth was so badly scalded that she couldn’t talk for about a week. Apart from the embarrassment of having done something really stupid, I think the worst thing for her was not being able to talk. Poor thing, the look of misery on her face haunts me to this day.

    andrewh
    Free Member

    Decided to install a friend’s new washing machine for her while she was out, nice surprise to come home to a job already done. Neither her boyfriend nor I knew where the stopcock was so we decided that if we the put the two washing machines next to each other, and swapped the hose over really quickly not that much water would come out.

    In reality about that much (holds finger and thumb apart to demonstrate the depth of water on the kitchen floor) came out, it’s quite tricky to get a hose spraying mains pressure water out of it to attach to another washing machine.

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