[i]I'm often accused of being tight by my family, but I'm a firm believer that shit presents are worse than no presents[/i]
A-men brother.
Double post
Kitchen scales, so shoddily made they don't balance ...
Bean bag, minus the beans ... (I am NOT kidding, I should really have terminated the relationship there, but she had huge breasts, what can I say?)
You guys are making me feel bad for getting an electric toothbrush for my little brother. He's just got braces so i thought it might help.
I don't have a problem with anything i get given, other than socks/scarves/etc.
I politely informed her I would not be going to that and gave them straight back.
I've had some truly shockingly awful presents from various nearest and dearest over the years and without exception I've been extremely grateful anyway. The thought of someone going to the effort of buying me something, however misguidedly, and me throwing it back in their face just because I didn't like it doesn't compute for me. It really is the thought that counts, as far as I'm concerned.
£4.38
I gave my brother a present which cost about £5....so he deducted the 62p I had borrowed off him a couple of weeks previous (which I had forgotton about)and gave me what was left over in coppers.
Jeebus I've got my mum an electric toothbrush for xmas! Shittest present for me os whenever my wife buys me a book that I've already read. It's happened 3 times now including this year for my birthday-she bought me the book that I was reading at the time!
[i] It really is the thought that counts, as far as I'm concerned.[/i]
When my sister bought me the Outkast CD for my 30th, the only thought that had gone through her mind was "sh1t, I'm in a motorway service station on my way to see my brother for his 30th birthday and I haven't bought a present".
She got the CD back.
A wine bottle stop. I've never even had a glass of wine in my entire life.
Use it as a butt plug.
This was hardly my parents' fault...but my 9th birthday coincided with a flu epidemic. For a week before and after my birthday, the local bike shop was closed because both the old boys who ran it were ill. My new bike was inside. Every day I would peer through the window into the darkened shop, imagining I could see my new bike among the line-up of front wheels.
Meanwhile, on my actual birthday, all I got was a bar of Bournville chocolate.
My mates mum and dad got him a loo seat one year. 'Err cheers'
Oh yes, a pair of indian mocashin-style house slippers
In a pub I used to drink in there was a 'retired hells angel' we used to chat too from time to time. One Christmas, all of us who knew him got little parcels through the door containing hand knitted moccasins, made from stripes of different colour left over wool. With pompoms on the toes. They were from his mum, thanking us for looking after his boy. I loved them!
When I was 15 my dad and step mum gave me a stack of books from their own bookshelves that had been there for years. I think I had read most of them. Disappointed doesn't come close. I think I pinched £20 out of dads wallet and spent it on hash the next day.
Christmas - As a kid my grandmother gave my pyjamas she'd made. For my cousins. Who were 5 years older. And they'd refused to have them.
Birthdays - 20th birthday was my grandfather's funeral. 21st my (supposed) best mate tried to steal my girlfriend. Sort of gave up after that.
My Grandad lent my Dad a small amount of money for his birthday, and as it was his 18th the interest rate was almost reasonable. 😆
What a bastard.
Actually that might be true but that's another story.
In Joke LOLZ
Surely the worst ever is that my (ex)wife bought me a Celine Dion cd.
Never have i looked that shocked since!
i got back into golf the tail end of last year, first present the wife gave me were some golf balls...
fine you say...
but they were secondhand off ebay, to add insult she didnt even wrap them and they were still int the fekin courier plastic bag!!
i was too young to remember but there is the legendary tail of dad giving mum a food mixer one year, she kicked off and sulked all day.
I am a twin and as children we usually ended up with the same presents. We had both asked for tents one year and when my brother unwrapped a tent I knew I would have the same. There must have been a packing error in the factory though because inside my tent box was a Wendy house. It got swapped a few days later but I cam still remember being gutted.
18th birthday present. From my parents. One of these:
"you like motorbikes don't you"
Birthday: My Girlfriend of 6 years decided that my 30th birthday was the ideal day to tell me she was leaving me for another women. She did promise me she she'd make my birthday memorable, and from that point of view, it was the gift that keeps on giving.
Christmas: An expired (as it turned out when I gave it away) iTunes voucher off my brother. I've never used iTunes and don't own anything apple related.
She did promise me she she'd make my birthday memorable
Other woman joined in?
all of us who knew him got little parcels through the door containing hand knitted moccasins, made from stripes of different colour left over wool
That's actually pretty sweet.. a mother's love is indelible isn't it?
When I was 8 or so, I wanted this:
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Got this:
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You must have been very xANzquGRYk!
A box of SugarPuffs.... He was an A••ehole.... Still is I believe....
This year me and the Mrs have been given a Yankee candle by her brother, my wife peeked in the bag.
I fekin hate candle sh!t
I've got a German step mother. Never really "got" her sense of humour.
At universtiy she sent me an advent calender (well box of 24 presents) Number 24 was a block of cheese. At no point did she instruct me to put any of the present in the fridge!
Last year I got a fire blanket as she set fire to some takeaway pizzas she put in the over to keep warm. I've never had a kitchen fire, I wasn't there at the time, I don't buy takeaway pizzas, I'm not stupid enough to put cardboard in a hot oven.
Hey ho.
Tim
I once received a battery operated flying pig for a birthday, trouble is it was my 28th!! it came from my mum and she simply said she thought i'd find it funny and i would've 27 years prior.
http://www.toywonders.com/productcart/pc/catalog/9023H.jp g" target="_blank">
That flying pig's pretty cool. My mum bought my dad an RC helicopter for his birthday last week, that was an eye-opener for my wife when she realised there's no hope of me "growing up" either 😀
Can't think of any particularly bad presents, although I hate getting clothes. My sister bought me some expensive trainers from the Ferrari store in Rome, don't much like Ferraris and like their branded goods even less.
every year, without fail, I get boxer shorts that are too big for me
every year, without fail, I get boxer shorts that are too big for me
Maybe your wife is hoping you'll grow into them.
My dads step mums mum used to buy me the most random presents .... A book of manchester uniteds greatest players.
The fa cup annual for 1995 - for christmas 1996
My daughter (when she was about 5 or 6 thereabouts) got a packet of cress seeds off my aunty.
Not on the same level as those above but once got one of those keyrings that beeps when you whistle. Good thing I never put keys on it cos I lost it soon after.
My first girlfriend bought me a pair of Kenny Dalglish shinpads.
As a Manchester United Supporting Rugby League playing teenager, that pretty much put the nail in that relationship.
My Mrs has just reminded me that when she was heavily pregnant one year she got a bottle of Schnaps and some shot glasses from my parents.
Not on the same level as those above but once got one of those keyrings that beeps when you whistle. Good thing I never put keys on it cos I lost it soon after.
I got a variation on that - a keyring finder that relied on an electronic activation rather than a simple whistle. You put the noise emitter bit on your keys, fair enough. The activation button thing, you're supposed to carry round with you in case you lose the keys.
I lost the activation button.
my parents are terrible for gifts - last year i got:
a tea towel (from their holiday to the lake district),
a ceramic wooden spoon rest
and a wooden duck........
also the wifes grandparents got me £2 tub of hair gel one year - i have a grade 3 all over....
A wok strainer - it was wrapped in a Ghetto Blaster box - I was very sad
My mates next door neighbour, gave my mate a photo of himself for Christmas a couple of years ago!
My Auntie Kitty bought me black lambswool socks throughout my childhood,
at the time i was typically ungrateful - they are all I wear now.Ha
Nice one Kitty.
i cannot say that the present was awful,but i used to be given a box of liquorice allsorts every xmas (i hate liquorice 🙁
