Is there one thing that gets you going? Irrational or otherwise...
Mine: people parking on zigzags by pedestrian crossings. Seems commonplace, even close by the crossing itself.
*Files;self under "wasn't like this in my day"*
B***t naming conventions for things which make the product range indecipherable.
B***t "grades" to describe the condition of second hand products: 7, 8, 9-, 9, 9+, BN (actual example of a camera website)
Even in normal times I hate people that have no consideration for your personal space.
Right now I would happily kill people who invade mine but that could be counter-productive!
Bidon.
It's a motherflipping bottle, not a bidon.
Grrr.
Anyone who goes to one of the honey pot corbetts/munros and then goes off on one about how busy it was.
Fannies.
And similarly, anyone who complains about folks going into their countryside, and referring to them as grockles.
Uberfannies.
Parking at my kids school, there's ample.
IF YOU FREAKING NUMBSKULLS PARK A FEW FEET CLOSER TOGETHER!!!
And then all the silly buggers complain about the parking.
Yaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!
Everything and everyone
Whiny Scots
Only kidding, I love you all really 😀
People with no imagination.
Also Mrs spanking new freelander, your three tonne colossus won't disintegrate if you park it a foot nearer the edge of the road and a pissing leaf falls on it, in fact it'll do less damage than the asda van that nearly couldn't get past last Thursday
People with no imagination
I can't think who you mean.
People who repeat the same story, anecdote etc., to you a short time after telling you. Why do you not remember telling me this? I listened, I responded, I found it interesting or funny or shocking, or pretended I did, and then you go and repeat it the following day! I detest this and am very mindful of this, I don’t do it.
And when you are repeating it, because I am polite, I don’t say anything or if I do it’s very respectful. But know that in my mind I’m utterly dumbfounded.
Oh and people that can’t wave a thanks when you let them through or out whilst driving.
Audi Q7 & 8 drivers. Get your oversized pos off the road you anti-social, self entitled, clueless pillock. And no, abandoning your pointless mechanical prosthetic in the middle of the road does not count as parking.
People who keep getting closer than two metres, even as you keep moving back to two metres. My neighbour, who is a cool kid and mountain biker and general excellent person, just cannot do two metres and so every conversation I have with her ends up like the benny hill show as she chases me round and round her car
Taxi drivers. Absolute chumps, each and every one of them.
People telling me to calm down. **** them, I'll get pissed off whenever I feel like it.
People who torture expensive bikes with dry squeaky chains.
moaning middle aged men repeating the same stuff over and over again on online forums. Oh and of course, what is wrong with "please may I have" instead of "can i get...."
People who leave crumbs in butter
People who move to an estate in a woodland then constantly moan about the trees/leaves
Traffic lights, when folk at the front take so long to engage brain then 1st gear and slowly slip the clutch and only they can use the opening as the red light re appears
Or the small road works where you can see no one at the opposite end of the 30yds and diligently sit there for ages until the green light shows
I'm a proud moany Scot
People who repeat the same story, anecdote etc., to you a short time after telling you.
Hope none of your loved ones get old then 😢
Doormats. Specifically my other halfs failure to understand their purpose. You put them outside the front door to wipe the worst of the rain and muck off your footwear before entering the house. They exist to be used in bad weather. You do not move them out the way and prop them up during bad weather so they dry out better. They exist purely to work in bad, wet weather. That is precisely the time you need it to be right by the door, not round the corner 5 yards away, propped on its edge do it has a permanent curl to it.....
*Phones counsellor on speed dial*
so every conversation I have with her ends up like the benny hill show as she chases me round and round her car
I guess that rather depends on the neighbour, and what they are wearing....🤔
Recycling Jenga - the recycling bin is in the front porch, yet my wife and now the kids insist on any recycling (bottles, cans, paper, anything) being stacked into a small plastic container in the kitchen and then that moved the 25 feet to the porch.
Except none of them ever do, they just stack it on top like a bizarre version of Jenga, so that when i then give in and carry it to the recycling bin in the porch it disintegrates dropping packaging all down the hall, often dripping the dregs of the partially rinsed milk and yoghurt with it incurring an additional mopping up exercise.
See also the tea bags on a saucer that is actually further away from the food recycling caddy than the kettle.
Noisy eaters, they should all be shot.
People who repeat the same story, anecdote etc., to you a short time after telling you. Why do you not remember telling me this? I listened, I responded, I found it interesting or funny or shocking, or pretended I did, and then you go and repeat it the following day! I detest this and am very mindful of this, I don’t do it.
Recycling Jenga
Ah, that game. Similar to pushing stuff down in the kitchen bin rather than emptying it. Sometimes, when I eventually prize the torn bag out of said bin, the lower contents are so compacted I suspect they may contain coal and diamonds.
Idiots who live no more than 150m up the quiet residential road from my house that can hit 50 by the time they pass. I'm considering a leaflet drop/keying/stinger or just dragging the stupid **** out of their car and bouncing their head off the kerb.
And breathe....
I can't help getting livid at the knobbers driving their kids to school at the moment. YOU'RE WORKING FROM HOME YOU DULLARDS. You're going to spend the rest of your day sitting on your fat arse, a 10 minute walk with your kids might actually be pleasant, in fact more pleasant than fighting with the other mouth breathers for a parking space 5 nanometers from the school gate.
Rear foglights being turned on in the rain.
Are they brake lights!?
Are they foglights!?
I DON'T KNOW SO LET'S FIND OUT BY SMASHING INTO THE BACK OF YOUR ****$$$ AUDI AT 70 MPH, EH?
Jokez, Obvs.
People who repeat the same story, anecdote etc., to you a short time after telling you. Why do you not remember telling me this? I listened, I responded, I found it interesting or funny or shocking, or pretended I did, and then you go and repeat it the following day! I detest this and am very mindful of this, I don’t do it.
Good work 👏👏
Just found another one - we buy chewy bars and chocolate bars in packets. They are in packets to keep them neat and tidy. Even once you open the packet/box, the packaging keeps them neat and tidy.
What kind of perverse insanity makes someone think "that packet has been opened so I must dispose of it immediately"? Opened the cupboard to get a biscuit to find one fun size Snickers, 3 fun sized Mars bars and 3 chewy bars scattered across the shelf. 🤬
In her defence, there must be a long list of stuff I do that annoys her as well. Probably starting with "Still breathing"
Bagged dog shit hanging in trees
Now that autumn has arrived there are still more people than normal visiting the local hill, which is nice.
But a surprising number of them like to sit in the car park with their engine running for 10 or 15 minutes, which makes me want to drag them out of their vehicles and stamp on their heads.
And that's not the kind of feeling I'm aiming for when I go out for a ride.
people who say "for the foreseeable" rather than "for the foreseeable future".
In real life, unless they have an Aussie inflection at the end of the sentance, it just becomes an awkward pause. Online, its just anuver fing 4 peeps who cant type rite to save sum time. The lazy gits.
Currently the people not wearing masks for school drop off despite the school asking people to, then standing in big groups chatting, blocking the path and generally being ignorant.
Two bins in the kitchen; the recycling bin is 2 feet further away from the food prep area than the ordinary waste bin. Thes bins are identical.
Lazy ****ing scrotes keep putting recycling in the food waste bin because they are too ****ing lazy to walk two ****ing feet.
So I swapped the bins over, am now totally enraged at my own stupidity, as the recycling bin contains food waste because the bins have been that way for 10 years and there is no congnitive engagement during the act of binnage. Or they are totally taking the piss out of the old guy.
Fuming silently prior to swapping them back.
People who recycle.
Self-righteous and gullible, faffing around all day with their multiple colour-coded bins and boxes and making a big show of doing everything correctly and hectoring those who don't. It's a big swizz to make you feel like you're doing something good and to detract blame from the manufacturers and supermarkets for producing all this shit. The council just burn it all their end anyway.
Just use less stuff.
😉
#68326: people who stand in doorways.
People
...that's it
People who use i.e. when they mean e.g. possibly should be a war crime
People who open a gate for you, but get a bit mardy when you thank them kindly, but explain you'd rather social distance and are quite happy for them to go on their merry way while you wait.
See also, walking pairs who instinctively head for opposite sides of the path to let you pass.
People who complain about grammar usage and then forget to use a full stop to end the sentence.
People who make a lifestyle choice based on personal preference, and then construct a moral superiority that fits it as an excuse to judge others - Militant Vegans, Gym Bunnies, "entrepreneurs" etc.
People who decide to buy stupidly expensive / rare cars, or just pretty normal ones they love a bit too much, and then go apoplectic when other people have the bare faced cheek to park near it, look at it, breath in it's direction.
Van drivers who race up to junctions and stop just over the line to try to intimidate other road users into letting them out.
Idiots who live no more than 150m up the quiet residential road from my house that can hit 50 by the time they pass. I’m considering a leaflet drop/keying/stinger or just dragging the stupid **** out of their car and bouncing their head off the kerb.
And breathe….
or go full Garp 🙂
The ubiquitous use of ‘gift’, ‘gifted’ as a verb, instead of ‘give’, ‘gave’. Unless you’re defining your financial affairs in legal terms for tax purposes, piss off!
Oh, and people who park three quarters of a car length from the end of an area of on-street parking, so no one can fit in the end space.
breath in it’s direction
Breathe in its direction.
