'Mair crabbit than a rat catchers dug'
'Teeth like a lockpickers toolkit'
'Fanny like a yawning dog'
Baby monkey, baby monkey
Riding on a pig, baby monkey.Baby monkey, baby monkey
Backwards on a pig, baby monkey.The world has gone insane, and you don't know what is right.
You've got to keep on 'keeping on'.
Get on that pig and hold on tight, -ight!Baby monkey, baby monkey
Backwards on a pig, baby monkey.Baby monkey, baby monkey
Going backwards on a pig, baby monkey.
not so much a saying as a mantra, often also a lullaby for the youngest member of the yunki family
When asked for an opinion about something that's utter rubbish, starts looking around on the floor, in drawers, etc., and when asked what you're doing, reply; "looking for the rat's ass I couldn't give"
My favourite description for someone who's completely nuts; "mad as a bag of owls"
One of my favourite ways of telling someone to get lost, courtesy of William Gibson, author; "go lick a dog's ass 'til it bleeds!"
I've used "that stews my plums" today (a phrase i found on here) when a mate posted on fb that the gov cut art council by an "unavoidable" 11million but pays for thatch funeral 10 million. That STEWS MY GODDAMN PLUMS
You say that like it was a bad thing....
I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate....
The beaten path is for beaten men....
You can't kid a kidder
One day
One day I'll give a sh!t...
But that day is not today
Mrs SP uses this quote from Alice in Wonderland when she knows someone is talking bollox (usually me)
"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards"
Stops them dead in their tracks. I've never seen it fail
You can only p155 with the cock you've got.
I don't carry money, poor people might have touched it
..that's more a statement of fact than a favourite saying.
Always remember never to say always or never.
You can't help someone up a hill without getting nearer the top yourself.
Hawd it and dawd it
Middle for diddle
everything in moderation, including moderation
never let the truth get in the way of a good story
I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.
edlong - Member
Shit you mean?
Err, yes. I assumed you wouldn't be allowed to use that word here. Isn't there a filter or something?Sorry if I came across as prudish. I feel like a bit of a * for doing that.
EDIT: I didn't imagine the filter then, just overestimated its shame setting. Mother *!
POSTED 19 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST
Just seems to be the modern way Ed, write as you speak/think regardless of what others think.
I am with you on this one 😆
Could be the start of another thread " what is acceptable forum language"
(Inherited from toxicsoks Snr and therefore, must be said in broad Yorkshire accent) " If wit were sh1t, tha'd be constipated fo'rest of thi' life". [i]Has[/i] been used in operational management group meetings.
@ toxicsoks - I like that.
My old man used say "Try this son, that'll put a chest on yer back!" usually when he was road testing his latest Horseradish sauce or some other Character building experience - in his opinion.
Or "Bob's yer Aunty Mary, on a Saturday night.."
"We are shot from the uterus as if from the mouth of a cannon, which is pointing at a barn door covered in rusty nails and hooks. The important thing however, is what we do with ourselves whilst on that trajectory." - Chris Hitchens.
shaking like a shitting dog
My absolute favourite...
To a question requiring foresight.
"I've got hairy baws, not crystal baws"
sweating like a paedo in a sweet shop..
Fav phrase at the moment is "OUCH" due to my broken wrist! 😉
[i]"stoop if the roof is low"[/i] - sometimes we need humility..
[i]"If my auntie had bollock$ she'd be my uncle"[/i] - for those 'if this was that' situations!
I like [i]"I've got hairy baws, not crystal baws"[/i] - I wonder if I can get that into a consultation this afternoon....
DrP
Don’t worry it will always work out in the end; because it always does
Haha, best of luck Dr.
I have a few...
On seeing someone overly happy - "Whats's up with you - get a shot on the swings this morning? "
It's a hard life if you don't weaken"
She had a face that would turn a funeral up a side street!
Jobs a good un
Mad as a box of frogs
Play the cards you're dealt
No Ted
(Clowns pocket ? It's a Wizard's sleeve, shirley ?)
When referring to a female's poor figure or odd face (from a Geordie work colleague): You couldn't bend WIRE that shape!
It's interesting that all the "sayings" on this thread that refer to people who are "ugly", are all directed at women.
I wonder why that is.
I wonder why that is.
Because males of the species are generally rated on things other than aesthetics. Or in other words, men are generally intrinsically ugly/hairy/smelly.
Because males of the species are generally rated on things other than aesthetics
Really? By whom?
You coud'nt punch clay uglier than him/her.
You started out as a w&nk, 'til your mammy walked in!
You snooze you loose.
Really? By whom?
Women, thankfully. (Otherwise many more men would be virgins)
Greyman - clowns pocket? Wizards sleeve? I thought it was a welly top!
Another of my favourites is 'she will be dripping like a broken fridge' to.explain an excited lady
I regularly use...
"as salty as Lott's wife's arse"
&
"life is hard , and then you die."
Really? By whom?
Usually women, in my experience.
Why, who did you think?
"You are so mercifully free of the ravages on intelligence"
ahhh and normally bellowed at full volume as I launch myself off a precipice:
"MING COMING!"
another rarely used favorite;
"You are so ugly even the tide wouldn't take you out"
He was shaking like a sh1tt1ng dog!
Also. "hows your belly for spots?!"
Meaning how's tricks.
I am not as green as I am cabbage looking.
A favorite from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy was...
The difference between something that might go wrong and something that cannot possibly go wrong is that when the thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it will be impossible to get at or fix.
Or words to that effect.
"like a dick in a shirt sleeve" when referring to something particularly loose or ill fitting.
"as much use as a handbrake on a canoe" when referring to my downhill talent/skills
"You don't pay road tax!" Always gets me laughing.
I am SOOOO glad I don't know anyone who says these things!!
