Its my niece's christening aug 1 and they're having a church service.
We haven't met her yet due to covid. They're a county away and we've played it safe throughout, not least because my 6 year old has breathing difficulties from time to time - including a couple of ambulance trips to hospital. That said, we've met people outside - just been sensible.
For the christening, we asked if they were asking people to wear masks. It's apparently a "small church" and there'll be "over 20 people".
They've said people won't be wearing masks, and for us just to meet the week after.
My wife's really upset, as am I because it feels like they'd rather not have us there than have the inconvenience of asking people to wear masks for 20 minutes.
Wwstw do?
Not go
Suck it up, it’s their event, not yours.
You're saying that they won't have you because you want to wear a mask?
Personally, I'd be thankful for the free pass I'd been given to not go.
Bin it off, take kids out for the day, eat ice creams.
Religious mumbo jumbo, outdated and pointless.
I think they are saying they would prefer everyone to wear masks, because masks protect others, not you. And their son has a condition where protecting him sounds sensible.
Proper (FFP3) masks do bring protection to the wearer, but not sure if they would be suitable for a 6 yo.
Not go
This.
My uber controlling sister in law has decided that vaccination is too risky* for her and her kids (and my brother in law, wee shitebag that he is) which gives me the perfect excuse to swerve them til she gets her head in order.
* No particular health specific reasons, other than nonsense she's read online.
Masks or not, I'd bin it off as your daughter has health issues - it's still inside, and masks really don't magically help, and 1st August, won't be any rules.
We will still have to abide by Nursing Home rules - my wife will still have to be tested twice a week to go and see her mum - it's not a magic date after next week and the virus goes.
I'd be grateful I'd got out of going to a sodding Christening. They are unbearable IMO.
The personal upset side of it is a separate issue really, and it's up to your wife whether she wants to make her unhappiness known or just leave it as a simmering resentment for years to come.
Most of us would probably go with the latter option, I reckon.
Don't go.
The 20 minutes inside the church you want everyone to wear masks is the bit where the parents of your niece really won't want to wear masks.
Unfortunately choosing wether to go to events/family gatherings etc will be a tricky decision a lot of people will have to make over the next months and years.
Suck it up, it’s their event, not yours.
This. You can chose not to go if you don't want to.
You’re saying that they won’t have you because you want to wear a mask?
No, just hoping they'd ask guests to wear masks, as per the common sense guidance from pretty much everyone
Just see them later. Nothing to be gained by trying to change their plans. They have a vision for the day, you don't like it for good reason so don't go.
I agree with most of the posters above.
Its a complete no brainer. Just don't go. Even if you don't catch covid from them you might just catch stupidity instead 🙂
I am struggling to see the issue I am afraid.
1.Your wife's sister is having a christening and she know for whatever reason some people will not be wearing masks.
2.She knows about your child's potential higher vulnerability and your concerns so is suggesting that you come a week late. This protects your child and removes the pressure of you putting your child in an environment you consider t be unsafe for risk of offending family. Your sister in law has considered your position and the position of others in the group who for whatever reason will not wear masks.
3.Your wife in now upset that her sister will not force these other people to ware a mask or maybe ware a mask herself.
There is obviously more to why there are people who will not ware a mask. tbh its not your sister in laws job to force people to ware a mask, nor is it your wifes / yours. There may be some people who will kick up a massive fuss if being force to ware mask. You have the option of taking offense (offense is something that is taken and not given, its up to you / your wife) and the creating a bigger issue of your sister in law having to choose who to piss off (if there are some who will not ware masks which your op suggests) of take the situation that she has considered this the route that cause less issues and keeps your child safe.
You could always try speaking to her about the mask issue and ask if there are some people she feels will not ware a mask and this might clarify the situation. Don't present an us or them ultimatum though as that leads no where but trouble and tbh is quite juvenile.
Just avoid, it is their event and however stupid they can do what they want.
Your priority has to be to your family and their health
Go, but craft some special Lamb of God masks first? Or maybe something a little darker and more norwegian?
Personally, like the others, I'd be glad to get out of one of those horrendous awkward gatherings I've never liked anyway.
Your wife’s sister
My brother's wife.
beg your pardon. Still works out the same.
Personally, I’d be thankful for the free pass I’d been given to not go.
This.
Doesn't take much to say "during the church service, in line with guidance and for the comfort and health of valued guests, we request that masks are worn". (Like they have been for the last 18 months). Does it?
Turn it around, have a nice visit a week later, maybe take a picnic and some cake, meet the wee person and ask how the gig went... or...hate and ignore them to the end of time 🙂
Doesn’t take much to say “during the church service, in line with guidance and for the comfort and health of valued guests, we request that masks are worn
This is your view and not their view. That they have offered an alternative meet-up tells me that they really don't want to compromise the day.
...but then you'll get everyone else asking "Why do we have to wear masks, we've worn masks for the last 18 months".
Personally I'll be glad to see the back of them, but I'm not in your position.
Another vote for not going.
I understand the sadness, I get it not everyone enjoys stuff like that, I personally like Christenings, but I'm gooey AF when it comes to kids.
Our Government with supposedly the begrudging agreement of Witty and Van-Tam has decided that a week today masks will no longer be required (accepting that it's not that clear cut) I know 'because Boris' our natural instinct is that they're wrong, and they probably are, but SNP lead Scotland is doing the same sort of thing 3 weeks later and here in Wales we will too, at some point in the near future, this is the only inevitable end to Covid.
I have sympathy for the Parents, it's a very touchy subject and I personally wouldn't be comfortable asking all my guests to wear a mask, you might discover a lot of people still do. Like everyone else, I'm worried about what the next few months will bring, and I especially have sympathy for parents of kids with breathing issues, some of our friends have a 7 year old who has scarring on her lungs from Pneumonia she had as a small child, when she caught covid last year it was terrifying, thankfully you'd barely know she had it, she was ill for about 24 hours and had nothing more than a light fever.
I’d be grateful I’d got out of going to a sodding Christening. They are unbearable IMO.
This x 100. I offended my brother when he asked me to be god-parent to my neice and I refused on the grounds that I'm an atheist and also pointed out that he's not even a practising christian. Pretty much every christening I've been to (thankfully not that many) has been a fraud. Although the last one was quite funny when the catholic priest laid it on really thick that christenings were not just an empty ceremony and the family and godparents were duty-bound to take their roles seriously.
Wow - how can you possibly pass up a chance to hear somebody renounce the devil?
Seriously though - balls to them and whoop for you getting out of it.
This x 100. I offended my brother when he asked me to be god-parent to my neice and I refused on the grounds that I’m an atheist and also pointed out that he’s not even a practising christian. Pretty much every christening I’ve been to (thankfully not that many) has been a fraud. Although the last one was quite funny when the catholic priest laid it on really thick that christenings were not just an empty ceremony and the family and godparents were duty-bound to take their roles seriously.
Did you think that wearing a suit and saying a few words for your Niece would magically turn you into a God fearing super-catholic?
Did you think that wearing a suit and saying a few words for your Niece would magically turn you into a God fearing super-catholic?
No but what's the point if you're not a practising christian? I may not like or believe in religion but I at least have some respect for those who do. I wouldn't go into a church pretending to be a christian any more than I'd go into a mosque and pretend to be a muslim.
I went to a funeral recently, some people wore masks, some didn't, I did. I'd imagine this will be similar.
Did you think that wearing a suit and saying a few words for your Niece would magically turn you into a God fearing super-catholic?
I've politely declined when asked to be a godparent twice now - once by a friend, once by my sister. My view is that the service and the 'vows' I would take would mean nothing to me, and it's therefore disrespectful to those to whom it does mean something to take part and not mean what I say.
Edit - of course it's equally disrespectful to those people to have a christening purely as an excuse to put your child in a nice frock and have a bit of a party. Or, in my sister's case, to conveniently remember her Catholicism in order to get her daughter into the best local primary school, but hey...
Obviously the two most important factors here are:
Who's doing the buffet
Is it a free bar
If you could answer these and if it's a positive response, I'll consider going in your stead
Almost a concensus!! 🙂
Nice swerve tbf....
I'd say it was a win.
Shocked at the number of apologists for mask avoiders...
Simple really.
"We'll be happy to attend so long as everyone will be wearing a face mask in order to protect vulnerable people such as my child. You can't guarantee that? See you next week, then."
My wife’s really upset, as am I because it feels like they’d rather not have us there than have the inconvenience of asking people to wear masks for 20 minutes.
Sounds an awful lot like you'd rather not be there rather than inconvenience everyone else for 20 minutes (and rightly so). But playing devil's advocate (ho ho) you could turn that around: it's their day, who are you to dictate what everyone else does?
And I'm sorry, I appreciate that I'm biased as a confirmed atheist, but I'd be filing this straight into the WGAF bucket. Some bloke in a white smock is going to throw some water at a baby who doesn't have the slightest clue what's occurring and then everyone will go to drink beer and eat pies, big whoop. Go see them / her next week as they themselves have suggested, it's not like she'll have changed much in a week.
PMSL at Cougar's reply, especially the last bit. 🙂
No but what’s the point if you’re not a practising Christian? I may not like or believe in religion but I at least have some respect for those who do. I wouldn’t go into a church pretending to be a Christian any more than I’d go into a mosque and pretend to be a Muslim.
Because it would have made your Brother happy.
You saved all those Christians the disrespect of turning up in their Church, where they'd love to, have you and joining in a ceremony, which they'd love you to be part of.
I know it's a load of old whatnot, I've been to Church a half dozen times in 10 years, frankly it usually means a death has happened, but as a Parent asking someone to be a God Parent, whether you're there twice on Sundays, or have to be dragged kicking and screaming for someone's Wedding, it means something, it means a lot.
I understand, despite what a lot of people think, being a God Parent doesn't mean you're somehow morally obliged to raise your niece should something happen to her parents, but in fact to help raise them in the Christian faith, which you don't agree with, fair enough. As the priest said at my daughters Christening, promising before your family and friends you'll try to help your Brother and SIL to raise their Daughter to be a happy, nice person, is enough.
My wife’s really upset, as am I because it feels like they’d rather not have us there than have the inconvenience of asking people to wear masks for 20 minutes.
I suppose if you really want to be at the christening that much AND don't want to risk your child, then one of you could go (they can choose to wear a mask themselves), and then they could self isolate for 10 days to avoid exposing the rest of your family to anything you might have picked up (wouldn't even need to be proper isolation - just isolate from spouse and child, you can still go to pub/work/shops). Personally it sounds like they are trying to protect you without being over-reactionary and saying "well don't bother coming to see us until Covid is over" or something.
No, just hoping they’d ask guests to wear masks, as per the common sense guidance from pretty much everyone
I wonder whether they will actually get this choice, or the church will essentially strongly encourage face coverings anyway? My expectation is lots of places are still going to ask for them even when the law makes it easier for the objectors to make a fuss.
Our Government with supposedly the begrudging agreement of Witty and Van-Tam has decided that a week today masks will no longer be required (accepting that it’s not that clear cut) I know ‘because Boris’ our natural instinct is that they’re wrong, and they probably are, but SNP lead Scotland is doing the same sort of thing 3 weeks later and here in Wales we will too, at some point in the near future, this is the only inevitable end to Covid.
That's not my understanding - I believe whilst Scotland, Wales and NI will have further relaxations mask-wearing will not be one of them. Obviously, that will come eventually - but I suspect that might be more like October (or even spring 2022!).
The 'woo hoo, you don't have to go!' responses are a little unfair as that's a personal choice thing and Pook and Mrs Pook would like to go, (their choice).
However, as we're all about freedom of choice and mask wearing won't be mandatory by then more than likely, (has Boris made his announcement yet? I've not heard the news since breakfast time) then I don't think you can really insist on that as it's not your party.
It's a shame, but the risk/benefit of attendance decision is yours to make. If you decide not to go a gracious turning down of the invite should be given and accept the kind alternative offer.
Personally it sounds like they are trying to protect you without being over-reactionary
Are they though? Sounds to me they're not making any effort to protect them if they come.
I understand, despite what a lot of people think, being a God Parent doesn’t mean you’re somehow morally obliged to raise your niece should something happen to her parents, but in fact to help raise them in the Christian faith.
I'd be far more comfortable with the former!
As the priest said at my daughters Christening, promising before your family and friends you’ll try to help your Brother and SIL to raise their Daughter to be a happy, nice person, is enough.
Mmm... kind of makes you wonder what the point is though? I mean who wouldn't want to help a close friend to develop their daughter as a happy, nice person?
Sounds to me they’re not making any effort to protect them if they come.
even if you go and everyone wears masks - they aren't a panacea, there is no certainty infection won't spread.
Are they though? Sounds to me they’re not making any effort to protect them if they come.
This
Because it would have made your Brother happy.
Should it matter that much to the brother then an obvious solution presents itself.
Alternatively, the brother assigns more import to people being at liberty to cough and sneeze on his slightly damp child than he does over potentially putting at risk the life of his own nephew.
And I'm sorry if I sound impatient but I'm truly sick to death of this petulant whiny 'masks' bullshit now. It's just a bit of cloth. I wore a mask when I was six, it was of Spider-Man and it was cut out of the back of a Corn Flakes box. People need to grow the hell up.
