[Closed] Would it be good if STW was a more welcoming place for ladies?

(note to the humour-impaired: that was a joke, no actual misogyny was involved in the making of that edit, and I'm sure that there's plenty of things that women can do almost as well as men)

Regarding option 5:

5) I'd rather ladies didn't come here so we can use as much banter as we like without worry

Isn't it a bit sexist to presume that Women can't (or don't want to) handle banter ??

Some of the best Banter Ninjas I know are women.

(note to the humour-impaired: so was that. Still with me? Good good.)

alp_girl - Member

And for the record, I’m not male with a girly username

Sorry still on 6), Dave

Some of the best Banter Ninjas I know are women.

Some of the most [i]dangerous [/i]Banter Ninjas I know are women.

3)

Does my bum look big in this?

1

1) and 3) and 4)

You can't please all of the people all of the time.

druidh - Member

lgb - Do you think that any of the mlehworld ladies feel belittled or threatened, despite the general tone of that forum? Or that any have left because of it?

Do you feel more welcome over here or over there?

Sorry druidh, for the late reply, I had to go off and do some of that awful thing called work!

Mlehworld is a very special place, full of some reet special people 😉 It never claims to be anything to anyone, least of all welcoming! The wonderful mlehburds give as good as they get, and know the score. There are no 'forum rules' (well not that I know of, other than the unwritten ones) which dictate how you can respond and how you should treat others.

Giving as good as you get on here is very different - I'd be banned within 5.25 seconds if I responded to some people how I would really like 😆

So I just don't bother most of the time!

I feel welcomed by some, and hated by others, on both forums. I'm a pretty marmite kind of girl so that's nothing unusual and it doesn't bother me. I guess I know a bigger percentage of people in real life on mlehworld, so feel more welcomed there through that alone. I ride always with guys and work in a very male dominated environment. I regularly get comments like 'oh, I was expecting a guy' - whether it's when I take of the fullface or when I turn up on site.

I am not readily offended.

BUT that doesn't mean I don't understand that others are offended. I didn't start this thread as a complaint. I was genuinely interested in the overall opinion of whether the loss of the two members was down to STW not being welcome enough, or whether they were maybe over-sensitive to the issue. If it was the former, like I have already said, it would've been maybe worth trying to sort it out. Seems general opinion is that it was the latter.

I do think it is a real shame that two female members have gone, as they both had such useful input. But you know, I'll go rag my bike this weekend and this thread will disappear of the face of the planet by tomorrow and no-one will really care. Other than those who have been genuinely hurt by comments that may, or may not, have been directed at them.

I just googled "mlehworld" cos I'd never heard of it.

First hit takes you to their site, all the others on screen were pages from STW talking about it.

Went to the website, and got hit by an iFrame exploit. So, I don't think I'll be joining that, then.

Wun.. oh no she's got it. 😐 Fair enough.

Seems general opinion is that it was the latter.

Well the fact is that that view is wrong. I know for a fact that it's nothing to do with 'over-sensitivity', certainly on Sue's part. And I think it's very insulting to suggest that she is, especially if you don't know her.

What Sue has done is opened up debate on the issue, which I think is healthy. I accept that some find this a bit too challenging, but then they probbly find quite a few things in life challenging, tbh.

As for Mleh; I went on there for a few days some time ago, and enthusiastically joined in the 'banter' on there, but it seems that on a 'forum with no rules', some folk were just a little too sensitive for my brand of 'banter' and 'humour', and got a little upset. 😆

The poor sensitive little fluffybunnies...

1)

Well the fact is that that view is wrong. I know for a fact that it's nothing to do with 'over-sensitivity', certainly on Sue's part. And I think it's very insulting to suggest that she is, especially if you don't know her.

I didn't suggest she was - I said general opinion seemed to think it was.

Very different

Cougar - Member
I just googled "mlehworld" cos I'd never heard of it.

First hit takes you to their site, all the others on screen were pages from STW talking about it.

Went to the website, and got hit by an iFrame exploit. So, I don't think I'll be joining that, then.

LGB - thanks for the response. I guess that, in some way, it confirms my own thoughts. Have you thought about changing your first name, or do you secretly enjoying watching that fleeting moment of discomfort on the faces of others 🙂

What Sue has done is opened up debate on the issue, which I think is healthy. I accept that some find this a bit too challenging, but then they probbly find quite a few things in life challenging, tbh.

I said general opinion seemed to think it was.

I'm not convinced that that was the general opinion. Seemed to be the minority opinion, but I could be wrong, I wasn't counting.

3.

Should have used the link in the post above

Ah, yes. It was on an earlier post on a previous page so I didn't realise there was a link there. Tar.

STW not being welcome enough, or whether they were maybe over-sensitive to the issue. If it was the former, like I have already said, it would've been maybe worth trying to sort it out. Seems general opinion is that it was the latter.

Actually I think the general opinion was that it was neither. By my reading anyway.

I think as a whole the forum is generally welcoming, but discussion in [i]that[/i] thread highlighted certain areas (the clearest being "the doors" thing) where we maybe need to tone down a little bit to avoid (inadvertently) upsetting folk.

LOL - don't thank me 🙂

LGB - thanks for the response. I guess that, in some way, it confirms my own thoughts. Have you thought about changing your first name, or do you secretly enjoying watching that fleeting moment of discomfort on the faces of others

Indeed, I deliberately only use the short version of my name now. For that very reason. Nowt like turning up to do an audit with the element of surprise 😉

I'm not convinced that that was the general opinion. Seemed to be the minority opinion, but I could be wrong, I wasn't counting.

Well, if/when this gets to 10 pages, or gets locked, I'll do a count 😉

I don't really think that what sex you are makes any difference, some people are always gonna be more easily offended than others - and that's Definitely not a criticism, just a fact, we're all different.
As a relative newcomer, I find a lot of the banter quite amusing, but then, it's been said I'm not [sexist remark] your typical female[/sexist remark].

alp_girl.
Having only ridden the Gap road, Afan trails, gower, Brecfa, Snowdon and penmac, my welsh experience is limited.

A rides a ride an meeting new people is great, whether male of female.

Just male me an invite. 😉

3......as long as both men and women are thick-skinned enough, and aren't the type who pretend to get offended at anything they disagree with.

Mark - Resident Grumpy

I think part of the issue is that many folk on here think that every post requires their input

Would a max daily post count help stop the domination ?

Oh and 3 BTW.

EDIT: I've thought about that a little more and it would have to be selective as there are quite a few 'heavy posters' who seem to be able to do so without being argumentative, combative or bullying - some are even very amusing and interesting.

2. enough of a geek to ever consider joining stw

How very dare you!! I have the same problem though.

I've actually felt very welcome, I don't like some of the comments though and glad it's been challenged. I always seem to miss the comments, Mods are pretty quick. I think it is just a few bumholes who seem to want to show off and you get that everywhere. Generally it's challenged and people get banned. It is a massive shame that Sue and Emsz have left but I'm sure they'll come back. I've had the odd break from the place as no matter what, there will always be the odd few people who wind you up so I find the best thing to do is step away, just like in a pub I'd tell someone what I thought of them then go sit with someone else or go to the bar, at work Id be very honest that idiot behavior will be disciplined and if something on the TV (Jeremy Kyle for example or that stupid sunday programme with the woman off the news) gets on my nerve I turn it off and don't watch again.

I don't know why but it seems to go in peaks and troughs around here, it gets out of hand, someone really crosses the line then it dies down.

And to whoever made the comment about her user name belittling her sex or whatever crap you came out with, that is 100% crap.

For what it's worth - 3.

And Alp_girl's comment up there ^^ was most excellent and I think summed up the situation perfectly. As others have said, mostly this is a pretty welcoming and entertaining place. There are some threads / comments etc that are brilliantly funny and help to create sunshine on a cloudy day. Other threads are really helpful and informative. And sometimes, usually on one of "those topics" get a bit heated and out of hand. But, as is the common answer on "the state of TV" type threads you have a choice not to look. So, if you find a thread offensive, just move on. If things are getting a bit personal it's easy enough to just let it go and not visit the thread again. No big deal.

As I said on page 1, I think there’s nothing wrong with the STW forum(s). And for the record, I’m not male with a girly username, I really am a girl with a girly username for easy identification ) Some people on here have such a great sense of humour, there are plenty of threads that have me in absolute stitches. If I’m reading a thread that descends into more of an “argument” (if that’s the right word), I just skip the argumentative posts and read the ones that stay on topic – simple! I have also never been offended by reading rude comments about famous women/women in general/men/news stories, and I don’t feel intimidated by any of the “regulars”. Whenever I’ve had a question, I got perfectly friendly and helpful answers. (hehe, guess next time I ask something I’ll get a reply involving my doors )

Having worked both in a mainly male and then mainly female environment, I can honestly say I preferred the male dominated teams. In my experience women (especially in groups) can be incredibly nasty and backstabbing, I much prefer a rude man telling me things straight, having an argument and sorting out whatever the issue is, than a two-faced woman being all sweet to my face and bitching about me as soon as I’m out of earshot and the actual problem never gets sorted

if mrsconsequence was bothered about checking the forum, she'd have written this 😀

I understand that some of the contributors have some serious mental health issues.. and it's those guys that go out of their way to make the women visitors feel uncomfortable.. I guess you find them in every walk of life.. (although I have many female friends who are a great deal coarser than any of the 'controversial banter' on here)

The rapey guys sociopathic behaviour is obvious in all their posts though.. they just have a louder voice on here than they would be granted out in the harsh reality of life..

Other than that I think that the forum is generally a fairly genteel place.. but could do with making [i]everybody[/i] feel more welcome..
I was horrified by the hositlity to newcomers when I first found the place.. and it's only my stubborn streak, lonely situation and MTB obsession that forced me to persist with it..
I imagine that this very process weeds out a number of level headed people in a kind of reversed selection process.. leaving mostly only the slightly socially disfunctional..

reverse darwinism.. there's a creepy sci-fi novel in there somewhere

+1 for Alp girl, she gets my vote

3.

Most people here are very welcoming IMO and it has to be the strictest forum I've ever been on both from a moderator and user perspective.

Sure there's some idiots but I'd advise not going out in real life either if you don't like those.

3) most of the time from most of the posters
1) from a very few... but they are often aggressive in attitude about a range of things rather wider than their attitude to women,

The disappearance of Friday Kylie shows how, with some leadership, a forum ethos can change. If people who post here just challenge sexist or unfunny aggressive cliches when they come up, maybe things will change?

One suggestion which might make the place less tedious and more inclusive - if various people exercised some self control and realised that saying the same thing over and over and over again will not change other people's opinions, and in fact probably shows both sides are equally fixed in their views and wasting their time...

oh - and less cats please... devil's furballs 👿

personally I think the sexism will be less tolerated now

It's that "will not be tolerated" thing I don't like on here, or in life in general. There are lots of views and opinions on here I disagree with, but I'm happy to tolerate all of them in the interests of the greater good of free speech.

Lady Gresley - Member
I don't really think that what sex you are makes any difference, some people are always gonna be more easily offended than others - and that's Definitely not a criticism, just a fact, we're all different.
As a relative newcomer, I find a lot of the banter quite amusing, but then, it's been said I'm not [sexist remark] your typical female[/sexist remark].

Posted 15 hours ago # Report-Post

Its just SEXISM is the new singletrack buzz word,and as others have said a few seem to think every postneeds a responce, where silence would be better, to give others a chance, especialy on the non advice required posts.

The moderators do a great job, but just perhaps they could cull some of the more weird and dragged out responces to simple rants.

I find it welcoming enough, was that number 3 ? 😀

(I didn't see the original thread though)

It's kinda odd. I have been assured that "girl" is a sexist term when used to describe adult female humans. Yet we have apparently adult female posters using it in their handles.

It is very difficult to get all this precisely right for everyone's tastes all the time. Most do seem to try most of the time. Which ain't bad going. 🙂

t's kinda odd. I have been assured that "girl" is a sexist term when used to describe adult female humans. Yet we have apparently adult female posters using it in their handles.

if i were in my teens or early twenties, i wouldn't want to be called a girl.
however, as i am now in my 30's , then i think i would like being called a girl, as i can feel young again 😉

it's not easy trying to say the right thing 😕

Will I be shot for wondering how the OP would be treated were they to have registered as "bigboybull" instead?

Sure there's some idiots but I'd advise not going out in real life either if you don't like those.

I blame the big hitters and bullies.

Shouldn't be allowed