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Wot? No in-laws sur...
 

Wot? No in-laws survival thread?

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[#13091234]

Where's the usual in-law horror story thread? One of my christmas highlights

Won't be getting any stories from me as the GF and and are parked up over looking the Ligurian coast.

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Not an in-law in sight.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 9:52 am
milan b., davros, funkmasterp and 15 people reacted
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Waiting for my MIL to turn up with her partner. Original plan was to come Xmas eve and spend the night to be here to watch kids open presents, then stay until boxing day. But now changed to coming Xmas morning and then heading straight home. It's now 9am, kids been up for hours and she's still not here. Also changed the time we are eating, not as if we are hosting! 

Made a bet with wife that we won't see her before 11 but hoping for the kids in wrong. 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 9:56 am
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Nothing since I laid the new patio


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 10:35 am
hightensionline, cerrado-tu-ruido, reeksy and 33 people reacted
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Only got part of the day to be there. They are ok really, but one of the advantages of flying home from Finland yesterday is that we are only going for a few hours


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 11:01 am
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Drank too much port last night watching Die Hard and feeling it this morning. Little man was up at 5am which didn't help. 

Setting off to the sister-in-laws in about an hour where we're having Christmas dinner. Then off to the MIL/FIL on boxing day for another one because they can't be arsed going round SIL for Xmas day for some reason.

Two consecutive days of them...wish me luck. 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 11:17 am
davros and davros reacted
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Half way through. FIL guarding tv changer with his life. 24 hours of Sky News so far ffs.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 11:54 am
davros, funkmasterp, bfw and 7 people reacted
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Inlaws are a push over, it's the sugar crazed over excited over tired over spoilt grandchildren I'm dreading, now wheres that champagne gone! 2hrs to "brataggedon" 😉


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 12:00 pm
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My mother last weekend for a pre-Christmas visit (also my birthday, has become a bit of a tradition in recent years also making it easy to avoid my brother) and FiL tomorrow for a leftovers Christmas lunch. Easy for us, just two adults and 6 cats to cater for today!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 12:30 pm
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We're heading to the in laws shortly. Thankfully it's just a flying visit and were coming back home for dinner ourselves 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 12:47 pm
 AD
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I am a lucky man!

In-laws live next door and I really like them! They've been over already and we're just taking dog out and then over to their house for Christmas lunch 😀


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 12:48 pm
kelvin and kelvin reacted
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MIL got here about 2 hours ago. She's already said "we had to take {so and so} to the hospital the other day" and "guess who died the other week" and "oh {so and so} moved to Scarborough, but you don't know them...."

My mum is here as well, and she's just got back from a Caribbean cruise. I love her to bits, but if I here another story about that ****ing boat!!....

Aargh, don't know how to get a gif to work...


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:31 pm
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Mine are here, but no drama as they're perfectly decent, respectful and chilled humans. 

MIL currently in recovery from a fractured hip so comfy on a sofa having cuddles from greyhound. 

FIL browsing the office with all my military stuff in it, he's a big history buff so he's in his element. 

Have a good one all. 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:35 pm
hightensionline, funkmasterp, AD and 3 people reacted
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Escaped SIL's MIL this yesr. We're at SIL's and everyone thought she was coming, but at last minute decided she was going elsewhere. We did Xmas last year. Bonus is my nephew has prepped the main course, and hes an ace pro chef.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:35 pm
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My MIL and her partner arrived on Thursday, here until after new year. We’ve lived in this house for 14 years, they still haven’t worked out where the dishwasher is or what a coaster is used for. <br /><br />My MIL seems to have fear of silence. TV needs to be on, phone constantly pinging and any pause in either requires infill with constant commentary on the the weather or what is on tele
They looked to mix things up with a bit of racism , constant reminiscing and anti immigration rhetoric.
I’m waiting for the ancient crawling laptop to be pulled out with the usual request for IT service desk support.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:44 pm
mrchrist and mrchrist reacted
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Miss them most at this family time of the year,they were lovely humans.
There will be plenty of tears and laughter later at the favourite stories.
If you are lucky to have some good ones,hold them close.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:47 pm
hightensionline, blokeuptheroad, sboardman and 31 people reacted
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Not an in-law in sight.

But where do you poo?


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:49 pm
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First Christmas without fil* this year 😢 so a bit of a downer but just collected mil & she is as batty as ever.

*He had a heart attack at the dinner table a couple of years back but insisted on eating the whole of his Xmas dinner before letting the paramedics take him to hospital 😯


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:49 pm
nt80085, funkmasterp, tourismo and 11 people reacted
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*He had a heart attack at the dinner table a couple of years back but insisted on eating the whole of his Xmas dinner before letting the paramedics take him to hospital 😯<br /><br />

what a legacy, I want to be remembered like that. 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 1:56 pm
hightensionline, nt80085, funkmasterp and 15 people reacted
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MiL and boy are doing flute duets. I've opened my first beers


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:01 pm
davros, nt80085, anorak and 3 people reacted
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My MIL and FIL who were lovely people are long deceased which is always especially sad for my wife at this time of year.  My mum and dad, 86 and 90 are with us.  My dad can be a bit cantankerous and like most people born in the 1930s, both of them have some views which would curl the toes of most on here, including me. They are old, frail, deaf and infirm and are quite hard work. There is no doubt that Christmas without them here would be a lot more relaxed for us.  They love it though and soon enough we'll have no choice but to have our Christmases without them. So I make a few allowances.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:04 pm
doomanic, nt80085, jamiemcf and 21 people reacted
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It was agreed a couple of months ago and repeated a fortnight ago that we were to only having a couple of extras from our family for Christmas day, and certainly not cooking Christmas dinner for a larger group.

I'm currently in a (small) lounge surrounded by 12 people, including the in-laws parents, one of whom has just announced that they don't have plans for Christmas dinner...

One son has had enough and retreated to his room, one escaped to the solitude of a bike ride.

And I'm ignoring the family politics being played out using the newborn baby cuddle quota and manipulation.

Fabulous.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:06 pm
nt80085 and nt80085 reacted
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Mrs F's MIL already been and gone. Never any dramas 😉
About to visit my FIL in hospital with the rest of the immediate Fazzinis. He's a stubborn git and says no-one should visit.
He should know better.
He's met his daughter. 🤣


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:12 pm
 Drac
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They were around last night for the buffet, we are heading to there’s soon for dinner.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:49 pm
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Mine arrived late Saturday night, for a week.
MIL spent all day yesterday cleaning - which would be fine except she’s a compulsive tidier, so everything just disappeared into random places. I dare not open any cupboard for fear of whatever has been stuffed in there all springing back out. Highlights include 20 mins spent looking for the pillowcases left out for SIL’s bed, which turned up in the kids’ sock drawer and missing packets of blutak which will probably show up in July. This morning has been spent stuffing the discarded cardboard boxes and wrapping paper behind and under the sofa, including the ones I’d already piled by the back door. She’s also washed every floor in the house with the manky old mop she found outside, so the place reeked by bed time last night.

FIL arrived with a suitcase packed with food prepped for both Christmas Eve and Day dinners and his apron, so all is well.

May need to take my new running shoes for a test drive later.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 2:53 pm
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MiL and boy are doing flute duets.

Yup your propa working class .


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 3:02 pm
weeksy, singlespeedstu, singlespeedstu and 1 people reacted
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MIL  I can tolerate but the SIL, give me strength!

FIL moved a year or two ago to some mansion in Ireland with his latest wife. He appears to have forgotten to get any Xmas present for his only grandson!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 3:08 pm
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Yup your propa working class

I am.

She married way beneath her proposed criteria


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 3:14 pm
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He appears to have forgotten to get any Xmas present for his only grandson!

My dad was my 3 boys only living grandparent since they were very young, not sure he ever bought them any Xmas or birthday presents 😕


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 3:15 pm
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We're away in Cumbria just the two of us. It's bliss

No elderly parents sat there all day with the wood burner roaring away and refusing to take one of their many layers off whilst we melt in the heat

No pandering to other people's stupid wishes, like getting there at 7am to watch ungrateful brats open presents they don't need or deserve.

No silly rules about having Xmas lunch at precisely 1pm as that is someone's else's family's tradition

No snobbery about wine or food

We've got  nice families but they often make Xmas very hard to enjoy

Just been for a bracing walk in a mini storm. Going to start cooking soon and will open a beer

Merry Christmas everyone

🎅🎄🍺


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 4:16 pm
Houns and Houns reacted
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Survived, trip to the care home and even had the novelty of hearing the current No. 1.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 4:36 pm
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Little man was up at 5am which didn’t help.

Pretty common in men, caused by a full bladder.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 5:08 pm
reeksy, stwhannah, geck0 and 9 people reacted
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I promised myself that I wouldn't be annoyed by my FiL's total indifference to his grandchildren. I haven't been entirely successful.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 5:47 pm
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Pretty common in men, caused by a full bladder.

Wahey! 😉 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 5:55 pm
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Everyone comes to our house on both Christmas day and boxing day. I cooked today which has been all about the army of kids who are here, wife will cook tomorrow while I play golf with my step-FIL.

Most years we get somewhere between 2 and 6 of the kids left behind to stay at ours to supplement our own 3 for the days between Xmas and New years. It's a squeeze, and it's carnage but it's the best time of the year


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 6:10 pm
anorak and anorak reacted
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I think we're the in-laws now.

But we had a houseful last night and had most of them stay over so we had 4 grandkids shouting "He's been!" early in the morning. It's been good, with some good Tarifa beats banging out and Champagne flowing while I was cooking the lunch. More piling in later for Christmas supper and daughter's partner jamming with me on my new guitar.

What a life!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 6:35 pm
anorak, DickBarton, anorak and 1 people reacted
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The MiL is looking at houses in our village!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 6:56 pm
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Tell her yours is for sale!!!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 7:03 pm
bikesandboots, doomanic, sandboy and 13 people reacted
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Her Indoors' parents are lovely. They really are. Well, her dad's a bit mad but heart in the right place etc.

BUT - they wanted a dog last year. We've had lots of dogs & gave them some helpful advice as to what might suit them (late 70s, not as active as they were, young grandchildren visiting etc.)

Border Collie. That's what they wanted.   We pointed out they need lots of physical & mental activity. They're great dogs but they can be a bit nippy & need a firm hand.

Nope. Border Collie it was. From a Collie rescue charity. So a Collie that's already had problems.

Said Collie arrives. We suggest it might be more secure with its own crate. As did the charity & the people who'd been homing it.  No. "She doesn't like the crate", they said. So no crate.

Said Collie bites everyone. "She's just getting used to us. It's not her fault."

It needs vaccinations to go in kennels as they're off on holiday so it goes to the vet who refuses to treat it without a muzzle. "She doesn't like a muzzle."

Their solution? Try another vet. Same result.

"The vets don't know what they're doing."

The solution? They persuade our 16yr foster daughter (who's great with dogs) to stay at theirs' for the week. She's bitten several times.

I feed it treats. They tell me to take her paw.  "She's good at giving her paw."  My thumb still has the scar.

We stop letting our children go round. The youngest are 8 & 10.

Apparently we're being "ridiculous".

We tell them the dog needs to be trained, or in a crate or wear a muzzle if they want the kids to visit.

We're being "unreasonable".

We suggest a specialist dog trainer but they don't act upon it.

They're coming round on Christmas day. Can they bring the dog? They ask.

No, says Her Indoors. They tell her she's being "unfair" & is "over reacting". They say the dog is "maturing" and will be fine.

They say they can't come for more than two hours because that's the maximum they can leave the dog.

Then the MiL turns up but FiL doesn't because "he's walking the dog".  He arrives two hours late as we're serving dinner & sits sulking at the table.

Oh the Joys...


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 7:06 pm
franksinatra, cinnamon_girl, franksinatra and 1 people reacted
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Got the MIL round tomorrow. As it’s pizza on Boxing Day, I’ll be outside setting the oven & wood up.
My daughter wants to set up the throwing target so we can have a session with the throwing knives I got today.
so that’ll keep me outside for plenty of time!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 8:04 pm
binners and binners reacted
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Got the MIL round tomorrow. As it’s pizza on Boxing Day, I’ll be outside setting the oven & wood up.
My daughter wants to set up the throwing target so we can have a session with the throwing knives I got today.
so that’ll keep me outside for plenty of time!

I've got a mental image of your MIL tied to the garden fence whilst you perform some lagered up circus knife throwing act!


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 8:44 pm
reeksy, burntembers, doomanic and 5 people reacted
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MiL and boy are doing flute duets.
Yup your propa working class

Like real flutes or farting in unison


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 9:23 pm
doomanic, peterno51, weeksy and 11 people reacted
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Very mixed bag, a game of two halves, was dreading their visit and had said to wife no politics allowed. We started with MIL saying how much she'd enjoyed the GB news shows this morning, a spirited conversation followed about 'that global warming rubbish' with my 16 year old daughter destroying thier dogshit argument, then as I was chucking the Cauliflower cheese in the oven and contemplating stabbing them it was 'what do you think of prince harry?' I snapped and said I love him because of all he's done for invictus and seems like a decent fella, totally wrong footed her, loads of erm well yes erm yes but what about Megan she was rubbish in Suits (she's never watched it). We sat down for dinner and talked about my wife's childhood and other stuff and laughed and toasted Christmas and they loved the food and had a lovely late afternoon, GB news has a lot to answer for, they are lovely people that have been totally brainwashed, for the first 15 years I knew them we never mentioned the EU or politics and now it's the 1st thing they talk about :-(. Gave them a big hug as they left after a nice dinner knowing they will go home and put GB news on, very 😢. Had full new patio kit ready incase hey mentioned 'our Nige' as they have before. Merry Christmas all.


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 9:27 pm
bikesandboots, AD, scuttler and 5 people reacted
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Refused to go to my family's usual do. Can't be done with it. Popped round mums , it's only 80 miles away, got breakfast and a chat.
Then went home via my mates house and got an invite to stay for a scratch Xmas lunch.
We actually laughed a lot , swore alot mostly at Ocado and their random substitution policy
Tried to find concert tickets for less than £100 , gave up.
Avoiding bil and his spoilt , unhelpful kids has made the day bearable


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 9:52 pm
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Christ, some of these stories, I do feel for some of you. Definitely makes me glad I found the courage to send my lot on their merry way a few years ago. Life is too short to have shit humans in your life, related or otherwise. 

Hope your day/festive period improves soon! 


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 10:03 pm
Alex and Alex reacted
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IMG_6803


 
Posted : 25/12/2023 10:07 pm
hightensionline, bikesandboots, reeksy and 21 people reacted
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