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Simonm - don't forget to factor in the solicitors costs, and maintenance for any kids.....
(From a man who was threatened with divorce for spending half of HIS maturing insurance policy on a bike and leaving the other half in the joint account!)
All wimmin are bat-shit crazy. They just need to be wrangled correctly, however, I've no idea how to do that.
Just have to work out whether:
(poon+personality) > t(mental)
Women - Can't live with them. Can't shoot them!
Mine is pretty good tbh. We live apart (weekend relationship) and I still got 2 weekends in Wales during January.
Brilliant post. You gotta love 'em, but they can be as crazy as batshit
My last relationship finished when she decided she wanted me to come to Paris for the weekend, because she was working there on the Thursday/Friday
It didn't matter that i'd organised, 3 months earlier, to go to Exmoor with the with a group of mates and we'd both been to Paris earlier in the year
Exmoor was awesome though 😆
Jedi - next Thursday 16th.
She caved in today.. "i'm so selfish...yada..(but I'd make life hell for 2 days firs) but you can go"
🙂
Pat her on the top of the head and say "don't worry your little head about it dear" then run You can follow this up with "You're cute when you're mad" if you really have a deathwish
Its not just you...
I just have to keep reminding myself that my dearly beloved is 28wks pregnant so is entiled to be even more random than normal......
Not easy though when every single thing you do is wrong 🙄
My missus went mental last night when I didn't phone her to tell her I'd arrived safely at my parents.
..........didn't hear from you for 5 hours....... atrocious conditions........worrried........specificaly told you top text me when you get there...........
She clearly didn't put 2+2 together and realise that once the roads were frozen and covered in snow that the 3 hour journey might take me 4 hours (5 was exagerated)!
3 options:
The funny one: after the third missed call, send her a text telling here that they've tried to contact her 3 times and they need to know who my dentist was so they can identify the body.
The logical one: point out that I had to drive slowly.
The sensible one: ignore it.
Yup, mental.
The weather and the house move have not helped either, nor did the boiler leak yesterday, but it's definitely "stepping on eggshells" territory right now.
I blame the hormones, and I have a damned good reason for saying that (before anyone jumps in about it...).
Love mine to bits but she went in to her bi-annual 'we can't afford this old house, we need to move to a modern property to save money' rant/panic last night.
I now know that saying, 'so what is it about employing estate agents and solicitors that will exactly f#####g save us money', is not conflict resolution.
Live and learn.
unfitgeez - this thread might have just saved me from going mental. She's up and down like a brides nightie. Coming up to 10years in August.
+1 for the cave in Eggshell City
Ahh yes, mine went away this weekend so I:
Painted the hall, stairs and landing in a colour she had selected 3 months ago but we had not had time to do.
Did all the washing, ironing and shopping.
Generally did a big tidy up
Fixed a leak in the bathroom.
However, we should have done the painting together as it is our house and apparently she doesn't like the colour now.
I shouldn't have done the washing as she has stuff that needs doing.
I've moved everything whilst tidying so she can;t find anything.
That leak has been there ages, why didn't I do it before?
I then get told she hasn't seen me all weekend and it would be nice to catch, so we head to the sofa where she immediately falls asleep. Brilliant.
Room in the cave for a (not very) little one?
My mrs just handed in her notice without a job to go to.
Surprisingly rational behaviour.
Where can I find one of these "wives"? They sound like magical creatures.
the storm is calming ! but for how long ? wouldn't mind if it was to do with the decorators but its not !
thinking this cave might need some lecci and some wifi !
Simple expedient of lowering my wifes expectations to the floor years ago, so anything above that is above target. You only have to go though the pain of 3 forgotten bithdays/aniversaries then it becomes the norm. To be sure, I maintain the propoganda that all men are rubbish, but she's lucky because I am a little less rubbish than the rest. 😉
She's a darling she is (but dont tell her I said so or you will spoil the ruse).
Simple expedient of lowering my wifes expectations to the floor years ago, so anything above that is above target
Wish I'd realised that years ago. It's far more painful having to lower them later on.
The early morning cup of tea that is now expected...
The after meal washing up that is now expected regardless of who cooked...
The phone call every night when away...
My girlfriend decided to give my galaxy S a nudge while I was checking an email, phone flew out of hand and smashed the screen.
It was my fault for checking an email. 🙄
Like I said...bat-shit crazy.
Treat em mean, keep em keen.
My last relationship finished when she decided she wanted me to come to Paris for the weekend, because she was working there on the Thursday/FridayIt didn't matter that i'd organised, 3 months earlier, to go to Exmoor with the with a group of mates and we'd both been to Paris earlier in the year
On a similar note, for my 30th birthday weekend I'd checked with my now ex that she was happy for me to spend the saturday with friends, and the sunday (actual day of birthday) with her. I did this months )(literally!) in advance. Organised bike trip with mates for the Saturday. The Friday of the weekend comes round. She goes batshit mental about me not wanting to spend my birthday with her etc. Go biking as friends had come from all over the country to see me etc.
Got dumped on the Sunday for "unreasonable behaviour"
Yay 😐
Dumped on your birthday - charming
I hope you went out the following Saturday, bought a new bike, and then found a good fatty to ride later that night
I must say, since doing the Exmoor ride, i've got shed loads more money to spend on my bike and my extra training has really helped my riding
In every cloud.... 😀
Now, where do i find a less mental woman who is passionate about riding rather than shoes???
My missus is cool. She rides more than I do, wins races, even does mechanic stuff too - got her to bleed my brakes last month.
She does my washing and cooks me food. Can't ask for more really. And she doesn't nag... even convinced me to buy a shock bushing tool last night.
There are bonuses to being a toy boy.
WIN.
You do know that you lot can be just as annoying and bat shit crazy and you can't even blame it on hormones, you men are just weird
men are just weird
Pot, Kettle 😛
My definition of the perfect partner is someone who will put up with me!
Mrs Grips is a different class of amazing, however she does like to leave every dirty dish or pan to 'soak' in the sink, regardless of what's in it. And then she leaves it for several days (when I'm not home I should add). I'm sure the incredible range of bacterial growths have probably had time to evolve drugs to cure cancer and the common cold at the same time before I pour them down the sink.
Ahh yes, mine went away this weekend so I:
Painted the hall, stairs and landing in a colour she had selected 3 months ago but we had not had time to do.
Did all the washing, ironing and shopping.
Generally did a big tidy up
Fixed a leak in the bathroom.However, we should have done the painting together as it is our house and apparently she doesn't like the colour now.
I shouldn't have done the washing as she has stuff that needs doing.
I've moved everything whilst tidying so she can;t find anything.
That leak has been there ages, why didn't I do it before?I then get told she hasn't seen me all weekend and it would be nice to catch, so we head to the sofa where she immediately falls asleep. Brilliant.
I was going to have a moan about the ridiculousness of this thread, but luckily this made me chuckle.
You do know that you lot can be just as annoying and bat shit crazy and you can't even blame it on hormones, you men are just weird
Thing is, we are as simple as it gets (well, I am)-we keep being expected to grow up but there's no fun in that. We want, nay NEED, our toys, space and childishness otherwise we may as well give up on life and buy a people carrier and look miserable.
You do know that you lot can be just as annoying and bat shit crazy and you can't even blame it on hormones, you men are just weird
GCSE Biology - both sexes have hormones. HTH
On the flip-side, (most) women don't have testicles, so we can blame our (very rare) irrational behaviour on those 😆
gentlemen.
do your part, contribute, share the burden.
show her your love, show her your loins.
when it all goes shit-shaped.
ignore her.
easy.
My wife's friend earns more money than Mrs 10. This is my fault.
gentlemen.
do your part, contribute, share the burden.
show her your love, show her your loins.
when it all goes shit-shaped.
[s]ignore her[/s][u]take all the blame[/u].
easy.
FTFY
show her your love, show her your loins
Brave move that.
oh dear its gone all men are this and that ! The clue is in the title...partners in general be they be male female ? so females you are free to air off as well !
Women are nice to others but dont mean it
Men are insulting to others but dont mean it.
Its just the male coping mechanism
Signed up for the Haute route - 7 days of biking - an numerous weekends away during the year, and she is happy with it.
I get half a day at the weekend to ride,
She is marvellous - long suffering but marvellous
Found the girl of my dreams.
Asked her to marry me.
She said yes.
We went through some pretty stressful circumstances over last couple of months and now nothing I do is good enough.
Tough times and suspect we will be parting company in the very near future.
Gutted beyond words.
To everyone who complains that "nothing I do is good enough for her": are you sure that she has unreasonable expectations?
Women are not rational, full stop!!
They say thing they don't mean and won't say what they mean.
Say join a gym, go out for a ride then complain about you being out all the time - when the inevitable happens - never again!!!
my girlfriend is encouraging me to buy a new bass and a new bike. Unexpected surprises like this make me wonder... what have I done wrong now?!
...she has a cunning and devious plan i imagine. I suspect that it involves agreeing to take a black lab puppy from her sister and keeping it in our tiny flat. Which would be utterly bonkers
oh dear its gone all men are this and that ! The clue is in the title...partners in general be they be male female ? so females you are free to air off as well !
My husband is ace, although I've had over a month of him agonising about getting a new bike. So far he's flipped between a Yeti, a Specialized Evo, a Lapierre Zesty, a Canyon Nerve and an Orange 5. I just wish he'd bloody pick one! And he doesn't like steak. Or Star Wars. Or death metal. And he makes fun of my comics.* But other than that - ace! 😀
* Incidentally, I retaliate by making him watch terrible American prodecural crime dramas, just to watch him cringe whenever they use a computer...
Simonm
on a serious note divorce her.
I hope a lot of you realize that most of what you're describing is vilely abusive behavior, that if any of you were to do it you would be described as "pigs" and be berated as women haters.
I dunno, I guess I'm a massive raging jerk but I've dumped every woman who as ever pulled this kind of thing on me without second thought. I'm now with a nice, cool, calm calculated woman who respects me enough to just talk to me and discuss issues with the aim of coming to an agreeable compromise.
Thing is, we are as simple as it gets (well, I am)-we keep being expected to grow up but there's no fun in that. We want, nay NEED, our toys, space and childishness [b]and[/b] [s]otherwise we may as well give up on life and[/s] buy a people carrier [b]and[/b][s]and look miserable[/s] [b]remove the rear seats to make more room for bikes. [/b]
FTFY