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"you need to be on my side"
"she doesn't need both of us going on at her""
But the OP can support his wife (ie, not undermine her authority) without joining in the shouting. I would never think to question what my wife does in the way of dishing out punishments etc to our daughters in front of them and likewise she won't with me.
"I would never think to question what my wife does in the way of dishing out punishments etc to our daughters in front of them and likewise she won't with me."
Quite right. But nobody is suggesting otherwise.
Thanks all!
I think I've given some of you the impression we are throwing plates and kitchen knives at each other. 😀
We aren't that bad yet!
I just don't want things to get out of hand and for a disconnect to happen between my wife and daughter.
OP I have only read first page so apologies. I have 3 daughters now all in their 20's and during their teens they all had varying degrees of issues with their mum. Now I saw that as a typical teenager asserting their independence in particular wrt their mum (woman to woman, dad is a man so different etc). This was tough on my ex-wife as she was used to being close to them. I would suggest you have a chat with both of them separately, ask your daughter to tonenitndown and your wife to let a few things go. You can't fight every battle and teenagers need to feel they have "won" sometimes so give in on the little/easy stuff.
Good luck