[Closed] When was the last time you had a fist fight?

When I was about 21 in Sydney so over 20 years ago. Some guy in a club nicked my drink when I was dancing, I spotted him and demanded he buy me another. We were both leathered - he refused and got abusive (in hindsight he almost certainly didn't have any money but he initially said he would), I then insulted him and his girlfriend until he pretty much had no choice but to swing for me. I was a fair bit bigger than him so I punched him to the floor and then followed him around whilst he tried to crawl away from me, punching him in the back of the head until he collapsed and didn't move. Woke up in the morning with a broken finger.

Lucky I didn't kill him to be honest, I've felt ashamed ever since. Not my finest hour. I would never fight now unless I absolutely had to. Don't do it kids, it really isn't big or clever.

I also had a drunken punch up with a mate who used to play for Wasps juniors. My hair fell out in clumps the next day where he'd punched me. Not fun.

First year of Uni (so, 17 years ago-ish), I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Student halls, flat of 7 young lads thrown together. I didn't really get on with 5 of the others, so kept myself to myself, socialised with the one I did get on with and left it at that. I'd had a year out and was the oldest, the youngest in the flat was (by coincidence) possibly the most smug, patronising, arrogant little (expletive deleted) on the planet.

One night in the second semester I'm cooking dinner and, out of nowhere, he steps into the kitchen and starts running his mouth at me, how I think I'm great because I was the only one who'd had a year out, thought I ran the flat, thought I was better than him, etc (none of which was true). Neither of us drunk, no incident that I can think of to precipitate it, just this rant at me for, well, being me. He ends this tirade with something like "I just want to punch you in the face". I countered with "want to step outside the flat and I'll let you try?"

Two of the other flatmates decided this could be worth watching and goaded him into accepting (though they stayed out of the actual fight, fortunately for me). The actual fight lasted all of about 30 seconds before I broke his nose without him having landed a shot on me - he swung a couple of wild ones that I managed to dodge back from, I stepped forwards and landed a single very solid straight right bang on the bridge of his nose, he landed on his arse, eyes and nose both streaming, the other two decided this wasn't going to go the way they wanted to see it go and carried him off to the Student Medical Practice. I gave it five minutes, had my dinner, grabbed some kit and went to kip at a friends for a couple of days to let it blow over. Never saw him again, he got patched up and discharged, came home, and apparently got kicked off his course the following day. Still, I've avoided fights ever since then as I don't think I'm ever going to get that lucky with a shot ever again.

For some reason I have a face people like to punch. I am 5.10 and until my 30's was pretty fit from football training etc. Anyway my fighting career has included such highlights as

1) My younger brother getting bullied so I stuck up for him and had a 1-1 with the lad and won. 1 week later I was jumped by 3 of the lads mates and got the crap kicked outta me

2) At least 3 or 4 fights at school where it basically ended up with everyone crowding round and watching. I had big ears and was born in Africa. I got quite a bit of shit thrown at me and stood my ground

Playing football to a good level, my style was to ruin other peoples games. I could man mark anyone and the harder the challenege the better. It resulted in

3) Me and a Scottish centre forward grappling on the floor, stood up and his team mate blind sided me and broke my jaw. Me and them two sent off. We had a drink and made up after the game

4) Me in cup final at professional club I was on the books for. Went up for header and opposition player elbowed me in the face and splattered my lips. I chased after him, punched him and ended up having a major fight in centre circle and we both got sent off. I was kicked out of club and banned from football for 2mths

5) Playing a local derby match, I set up final minutes winner. Whilst turning around to setup for kickoff opposition player smacked me straight in the face. Whilst on the floor stunned, he then kicked me in the head. He got sent off, I lined up for kick off. Final whilstle blew, I was chased by about 10 people to the changing rooms who seemed to think I had headbutted their players foot somehow. I had to wait for ages for them to bugger off.

There were loads of other incidents in football. My team mates used to say they liked having me on the team. Not only was I a bloody good footballer but if anyone was going to get punched it was me. I would run through a brick wall to win a game so tbh I wasn't ever effected and quite often would go in twice as hard on the person who punched me.

Nowadays I have had one or two confrontations. Most recent was the football coach who was turning a blind eye to my son being bullied by 5 or 6 others. Was kinda facilitating it by doing so and then in turn being snide with my son. Came to a head when I confronted him and 6 other parents face to face and told them if I witnessed any more bullying I would happily deal with them all one at a time any time they liked. Not that I thought I could beat them all up. Just that bullies rely on being quiet about things and hopefully the kids got home and told to leave my son alone.

natrix - Member

Just back from bjj so I've been strangled several times already this morning

You get strangled during a bj???

If I told you that you're not the first person to make that joke would you be surprised? 😉

Been involved in loads, one of the perks of being a barman in a fairly rough bar/pub (the pig and truffle/bedroom/bar V, all the same place just different names, in Derby, next to the post office, think it's a 'gentlemans club' now) when I was a student. That was 11/12 years ago now though, so I think I've lost my touch, not that I'm particularly keen to get it back.

I am 46 years old and have never been a fighter.

However, in my local about 8 years ago and the manager was attempting to eject a guy who was becoming offensive. I thought I would just follow them out to offer support if required. The pub manager is a very good friend.
Anyway, drunk guy does superman dive into a crowd in the garden half of which in wheel chairs.
I decided to intervene and encouraged the guy to do one before he gets lynched by half the pub. Things started to calm down nicely as we are walking up the road getting him out of the way.
Pub manager decides to shout 'And by the way, you're f*** barred'. Idiot.
So, drunk guy comes steaming back full of P and V. I try to head him off and get a head butt for my troubles. Red mist descends, 15 minutes later I am nursing broken hand and the rossers are in full effect.
Not proud.
The missus was more cross with the fact that she heard herself say 'Leave it Jef, he's not worth it' than anything else.
Next day I had to fly to Germany to be on an exhibition stand for a week with my new company, meeting the top brass from the head office in the US. Telling them I broke my hand falling off my bike did not carry any water unfortunately.

a long time ago when due to an utter ****t i had made the mistake of walking with along a road after leaving the pub we got jumped on by a group of lads he had apparently wound up. he went straight to the ground, i fought. what i learnt from that is its not worth trying to throw punches, just let loose with arms legs and everything like a whirlwind.

but way for fun was breaking up a fight in a college i used to work in, one teenager by the throat in each arm, held at arms reach, and loads of mockney 'leave it out lads, i'm in the middle now.'

A few times in adult life

Confrontation with a drunk van driver on a singletrack road. He swung and missed so I hit him back

Stepped in to help a park keeper surrounded by some yobs. That turned ugly pretty quickly

Made a citizens arrest on a yob who was attacking some ducks in the park. He had a go but was too pissed. Got a letter of commendation from the Chief Superintendent for that one 🙂

A wedding reception that turned ugly and it was a case of hit or be hit

And more recently with a motorcyclist who had an opinion on my driving. I ought to reign it in really

not since uni where we tried to emulate Fight Club which got messy.

This. Around the time we started drinking Tennants super. This may or may not be connected.

1999. Was moving out of a house I had shared with my ex. Came back from a cub scout leader's first aid training course (of all things) to find her there, packing her stuff up with the bloke she'd be cheating on me with. Cue proper Bridget Jones style hustle.

Was quite good fun, 'till the police came. Though they did laugh quite a bit.

Made me feel loads better.

At secondary school probably but that doesn't count the usual post night club glasgow taxi queue neds trying it on, so late teens I guess.

Last time I was in a 'situation' was probably about 15 years ago, driving into the car park of our local tesco and there was a guy at the entrance pushing a woman around. They both looked a bit rough but he was getting more violent so I stepped in and asked him to move away, it was only then that store security came out of their hiding place 🙂 He moved on but was attempting to have a go.

I don't recall ever clenching my fist and punching someone in the face.

That's it I think, so 30 odd yaers fight free, I'm a lover not a fighter 🙂

I challenge you to a dual James.

Noon Wednesday in the carpark behind Frankie & Bennie's.

Queensberry rules + eye-gouging.

[i]Cue proper Bridget Jones style hustle[/i]

No idea what this means.

Cue proper Bridget Jones style hustle

No idea what this means.

They awkwardly tried to remove each others big pants.

The Southern Yeti - Member

I challenge you to a dual James.

You talkin' to me?

So what if I am?

Someone hold me back...

LEAVE IT JAMES! HE'S NOT WORTH IT!

dual James.

He's JimJam, not JimJim.

😆

Someone hold me back...

Right. So me and jimjam vs Yeti.

Seems fair. What with him being a Sasquatch an all.

😆

Dual, jewel, aaah....duel. There now. 🙂

[quote=The Southern Yeti ]I challenge you to a dual James.
Noon Wednesday in the carpark behind Frankie & Bennie's.
Queensberry rules + eye-gouging.

got any pistols?

15 years ago. Stag night in Brighton and also Gay Pride.

I was late to meet the lads and was jogging into town on my own. I took a shortcut down a dodgy footpath and two big lads stepped into my way, one calling me a queer **** and starting to square up.

Without even slowing I punched him in the jaw and he fell down, allowing me to run on. *

I eventually met up with my mates, one of whom leapt excitedly into my arms, catching my jaw with his shoulder and splitting my lip.

Great night all in all. Strip bar had a lesbian hen party in, they were awesome.

* I weigh 9st and look gay, so feared for a sound thrashing.

My totally pished (amateur boxer) mate knocked on my door about 3am a couple of years ago with 3 pairs of shoes in his hands.

Turns outs some guys tried to mug him whilst he was staggering home from a night club, after knocking them out in pretty short order, he was a bit non-plussed what to do with them so decided to take their shoes.

I would have loved to have seen their faces, when they came round.

Probably 35 years ago. Never even come close to punching anyone since leaving school.

I try and avoid it like the plague now as if I get angry enough to snap I sort of "go away for a bit" and come back to all sorts of bother and repercussions and my career and being a responsible grown up is kind of dependent on me being a good boy. Last serious one was when a random townie thought it would be funny to smash a bottle in my face which apparently was terrifying to watch as went off on one and before that when I was in my late teens and got jumped by a group of folks "freak bashing" (similar group had a put a mate in intensive care the week before with a baseball bat because he had long hair)I remember the fight starting and getting hyped then the next thing I know I'm on the floor with two police pinning me down trying to get cuffs on me. managed to argue self defense in that case as heavily outnumbered, but it was touch and go as I had bitten part of someone's ear off and really badly injured two of them. I got bullied like hell when I was nipper for being a little tubbster and got to a stage where I would never back down or be scared again and that's where the rage came from. These days I am absolute zen and calm

These days I am absolute zen and calm

But your post reads with such underlying rage

Isn't every forty-something bloke on here living their life whilst pretending that that white-hot ball of barely suppressed but ever present rage deep in your gut doesn't really exist?

I know I do

20yrs ago, heading home from Glasgow's West End after 4 or 5 beers on a Thursday night with so-called best mate (we were like brothers, description subsequently revised after later events), I got jumped by two neds, bit of a tussle takes place (jumped from behind) I end up with a bloody nose and it all sort of peters out. Mate did sod all, other than ask the 3rd member of the group what it was all about. Reported incident to police on way home and spoke to "mate" the next day about WTF happened, he proceeds to call me an f***ing grass and wouldn't be helping me if it came to court. Which it did, oddly the court usher called him "the memory man" sarcastically after the hearing.
I don't think I've spoken to him since in the 25 years that have passed. Same, but at least I found out he was a c**t before I really had to rely on him.

No idea if I'd actually be any good in a fight though, although being 6'5" and 16st tends to deter most, plus I'm quite good at talking my way out of situations.

[i]Isn't every forty-something bloke on here living their life whilst pretending that that white-hot ball of barely suppressed but ever present rage deep in your gut doesn't really exist?[/i]

S'why I commute by bike. If I was in the car everyday, that ball of rage would just snowball..

[img] ?w=280&h=210&fit=crop[/img]

I follow the Tao of Pooh

had a few kickings, dished out a few, in my younger days. Last fight was about 10 years ago, I was 100% in the right about it, mind. Before that was probably 10 years.

tbh, no interested in any of that at all. not even going to go into details, I've probably posted some of it before, I'd rather just forget it, tis all a pile of nonsense.

Tazzy....

[img] [/img]

although being 6'5" and 16st tends to deter most

IME that can work both ways....

 

being 6'5" and 16st tends to deter most

Quite a few at uni and the early years after. We did act like dicks at times and I made full advantage of having some very handy mates. Had one guy try to bottle me in derby and I was so incensed and him so pissed I physically lifted him about a foot up in the air against a wall and rag dolled him. Most recent close shave was a road rage earlier in the year which I did post about on here, I've grown up a lot since those early days and know when it's handbags or go go go and if I'd have got out the van that day it was definitely on for sure as he was well up for it.
Worst injury was a black ear from a corking left cross it was painful for weeks after and every time I turned over when asleep it would wake me up. It really is a mugs game and there's too many "cases" about these days who will stamp on you if you go down.

Not proud to say it but the last time I punched anyone was my ex in front of the kids...

It was a long time ago and he'd left a few days before Christmas. To top it all I'd handed my notice in at work as I was going back to do a post graduate course at uni.

This screwed up my finances completely and for many weeks we were living on about £30 a week. It was then our youngest son birthday - I'd baked him a cake and his dad popped in to give him a present.

The present id managed to afford was about £2 from tesco. Just after the candles were blown out my ex turned to me and said 'I need to take the cooker and fridge freezer - what day can I come round'

Needless to say I lost it, so in front of my 4 children punched him in the face - I don't really remember the details. But years later my eldest son said I did punch him repeatedly until he was out of the house.

I felt quite ashamed by this for years, turns out I actually gained a lot respect from my older children by doing it - luckily the little ones have no memory of that whole time.

Was just wondering if there was a mirror image thread to this on Mumsnet. Forgot that it's more likely to be woman hitting bloke than woman hitting woman 🙁 They (we) do deserve it though, of course.

I haven't hit anyone since I was 6. Been attacked a few times since but its either restrain them or run. Nothing for 20+ years

Been attacked a few times

Were you using your refined debating tactics at the time TJ? 😉

@nobeer... just paint a goatee beard on, smash a load of rings in the ear and nose and colour an arm with crap tattoos and you have just about nailed it.

oh and make the t-shirt something singlespeedy or punk as F (or my little pony riding a singlespeed) and all done.

Do work ones count?

never apart from maybe infants school but cant really remember.
took a smack in the mouth from a bully at secondary school and got a fat lip but just walked away.
got loots of kudos for not running/crying and saying to the head “i fell over” i just couldn’t see the point in escalating it.

it seems such a bizzare thing to do in the 21st century and a purely animal response that doesn’t have a place in modern society.