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[Closed] What's your favourite conspiracy theory?

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I'm trying to *start* a conspiracy theory about me being fantastic on a mountain bike doing the hard stuff for Matt Hunter and Peaty but it doesn't seem to get any traction...!


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:05 pm
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The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:07 pm
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@AdamW: I'd start with Photoshop if I were you and commence on some serious face cropping/AdamW face superimposing action.

First rule of conspiracies: get some dodgy pictures together.

This, I feel, is basic stuff.

🙂

EDIT: By the way, [i]I[/i] believe you, but [i]THEY[/i] don't.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:08 pm
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i heard a silly one the other day about some guy called adam doing all the tricky stuff for steve peat etc, made me chuckle


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:12 pm
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just read the posts above... it must be true! 😯


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:12 pm
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'Tis true phil, he's fantastic. Even the tags say so.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:13 pm
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i heard a silly one the other day about some guy called adam doing all the tricky stuff for steve peat etc, made me chuckle

That's called 'AdamW Neat Trick Denial', Phil.

😀


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:14 pm
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1. All conspiracy theories are false.
2. All rumours are true.

Conspiracy theories have to be false because they all would involve hundreds or thousands of people keeping their gobs (and forum/twitter fingers) shut all the time. And that wouldn't happen.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:14 pm
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Don and Phil, why are you talking to ourselves?


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:16 pm
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OMG, Yetis exist!

** Quite proud at myself for using OMG for the first time. FFS, that's idiotic IMHO **


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:17 pm
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The only popular conspiracy theory I believe may have some credence is the JFK one*

* well there are probably loads of JFK lizard stories but in general I think that Oswald's multiple hits at range within a short time period introduces some doubt as to whether he was the lone gunman.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:18 pm
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Which one of me are you talking to TSY?


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:19 pm
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The other one.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:20 pm
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I wouldn't bother with him, we're a t**t!


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 3:22 pm
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the CIA installing Mobutu in Zaire and Hussein in Iraq

I don't know about Mobutu but Hussein was not installed by the CIA. Are you, perhaps, confusing that with the overthrow of Mossadegh in Iran by Kermit Roosevelt?


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:11 pm
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I don't know about Mobutu but Hussein was not installed by the CIA. Are you, perhaps, confusing that with the overthrow of Mossadegh in Iran by Kermit Roosevelt?

No installing the Shah in Iran is a seperate one, the CIA definitely had a hand in Saddam Hussien and the Ba'ath party in Iraq, they were desperate to remove a pro Soviet government and replace it with one they felt was more inline with the west.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:21 pm
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susan sarandon


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:23 pm
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Tim Robbins

Checkmate


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:25 pm
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Cats have been sent to earth from the planet canopus to stop humans disposing of their waste in drinking water. Yes!

Conspiracy theories from 2.35 onwards


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:27 pm
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Futurama is actually a documentary.

Open your eyes, sheeple.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:32 pm
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My favourite one is that Paul mcartney died as the Beatles were rising to fame so he was replaced by a man who won a Paul mcartney look a like contest


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:35 pm
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My favourite one is that Paul mcartney died as the Beatles were rising to fame so he was replaced by a man who won a Paul mcartney look a like contest

What is even the point in that one? What consequences would it have?? 😆


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:37 pm
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The Beatles could carry on being famous and no one would miss Paul mcartney. Oooooooooo


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:42 pm
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http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_is_dead

All the "facts" are here. And if you don't believe me ask my dad.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:43 pm
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"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." - Adolf Hitler

Edit: Found some other interesting ones:

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don't want war neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." - Hermann Goering

The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing it to be believed, for the vast masses of the nation are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived than they are consciously and intentionally bad. The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them a more easy prey to a big lie than a small one, for they themselves often tell little lies but would be ashamed to tell a big one.--Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

"The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth becomes the greatest enemy of the State." -Josph Goebbels, Nazi propaganda minister


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 4:45 pm
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I watched one of the 9/11 documentaries the other day, there's a whole load of stuff on it now cos it's 10th anniversary.

This one was an overview of some of the conspiracy theories surrounding it - fighter jets were deliberately sent elsewhere, it wasn't a plane that hit the Pentagon, the one that crashed in the field was shot down, the towers were destroyed via controlled demolition...

I started to shout at the TV after a while. The problem with TV and internet is it gives conspiracy theorists and other cretins a voice they really shouldn't have.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:00 pm
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, the one that crashed in the field was shot down

That one I [i]could[/i] believe.

If it was heading to the Whitehouse or Camp David then I could imagine both those complexes might have air defences that the US government would prefer were not revealed.

And obviously if they had shot it down then they'd probably prefer that wasn't publicised.

So at least there is a possible motive (unlike many other conspiracy theories).

But the official story, that the passengers got wind of what was happening, attempted to gain entry to the cockpit and the hijackers crashed the plane - all seems pretty feasible too and is backed by phone calls to the passenger's families, flight recorder, crash scene investigation, lack of eyewitnesses seeing jets or missiles etc.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:14 pm
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"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it."

Cyclists should pay road tax. 😀


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:16 pm
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Quite partial to the Harold Wilson conspiracy theories - he certainly believed them. He thought the British secret service were conspiring against him, and looking to remove him and install some sort of interim martial law.
Mountbatten was apparently approached to head up this farcical idea of a government. Given it was the height of the cold war and MI6 would have had it's fair share of loony remnants from imperial Britain, is a hard thing to prove or disprove.
Heathrow airport was shut for an 'army exercise' without Wilson's consent or even knowledge, which was just the sort of thing to add weight to the conspiracy.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:38 pm
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I read somewhereorother that much of Wilson's (no relation!) wibblings about being eavesdropped etc turned out to be bang on, despite everyone thinking he was going a little loopy about it all at the time.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:47 pm
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My favourite niche conspiracy is quite close to home for me (only 'famous' person to appear regularly in my nan's old family photo albums)

Conspiracy goes that: not only was politician and scourge of french organised-crime mafia types [url= http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yann_Piat ]Yann Piat [/url] the love-child of Jean-Marie Le Pen (as well as being 'officially' his god daughter), but that her motorcycle/drive by murder was also 'comissioned' by someone high up in the party, if not Le Pen himself.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:54 pm
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I like anything to do with tamepered-with photos. "ZOMG NASA tampered with moon landing photos, that proooooooves we didn't go to the moon". Every picture of every celebrity you ever see has been tampered with, sadly that doesn't disprove the existance of Jordan.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:55 pm
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Oakley have a 100% markup on their sunglasses. Oh, no that one's true.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 5:57 pm
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Oakley have a 1000% markup on their sunglasses. Oh, no that one's true.

FTFY.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 6:05 pm
 juan
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XC riders are good going downhill
tis is a good one.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 6:08 pm
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Heard one today that made me wee a bit. Apparently, the CIA were behind the Paris Concorde crash. They arranged for the debris on the runway so the plane would be fatally compromised. Why? Because the US government were envious of the Anglo-French supersonic success. Arse cakes!


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 6:29 pm
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I've no doubt there are some dodgy inept coverups/conspiracies going on but most of the popular ones are BS i reckon.

This. There's probably some pretty shocking stuff going on so far out of the public eye that there aren't even conspiracies about it, but Occam's Razor rules out most of the big (both in popularity and in scale) ones for me.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 6:31 pm
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I remember reading somewhere (so it must be true...) that at the Waco shoot out some of the 'Feds' wore ZOG jackets to wind the Koresh fellers up...


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 6:47 pm
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When in Bavaria, I can't stop myself correlating:

a) the availability of tasty but cheap pork cuts and cured products
b) no pigs being farmed anywhere
c) the lack of crime and criminals

😯


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 9:15 pm
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I love the 9/11 ones, ignorance and "commonsense" at its worst.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 9:50 pm
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You know when you're watching BBC breakfast and the have the news then at the end the news they say "and now for the news and weather where you are" and there follows 5 minutes of inane waffle, show-boating try hard presenters with cozy local accents, and during bank holidays, a complete production cluster-fkkk.... Well that's all part of a conspiracy to make it appear as if nothing of note or consequence occurs outside of the m25.


 
Posted : 01/09/2011 10:55 pm
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the CIA definitely had a hand in Saddam Hussien and the Ba'ath party in Iraq, they were desperate to remove a pro Soviet government and replace it with one they felt was more inline with the west

Now understand you are referring to 1963. Hmmm - the CIA made encouraging noises and had an informer on the inside, but took no active steps. Call it 50/50 at best.

As an aside, as part of my degree, I had the opportunity to write a thesis under one of the foremost academics on Iraq. I wrote it about Iran. It was crap and he had no interest in it. <facepalm>


 
Posted : 02/09/2011 2:20 am
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You know when you're watching BBC breakfast and the have the news then at the end the news they say "and now for the news and weather where you are"

That makes me shout at the tv, our sky box is set for BBC Midlands and I live in the Nederlands, they never mention what it is going to be like out here, ever...


 
Posted : 02/09/2011 2:33 am
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_operation


 
Posted : 02/09/2011 3:00 am
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havent read the above but heres mine...

1 - Chemtrails, an utter classic, the tin hat think the government is pumping out evil chemicals in jet fuel and killing us all

2 - 9/11, utter bollox, how can you believe the twin towers were brought to the gournd with explosives.


 
Posted : 02/09/2011 10:11 am
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