Today I found out it’s getting one in the ear.
At least when ingested it’s gone, but the Buzz Buzz Buzz in your eardrum is damn annoying.
Lots of the little ****ers around the hedgerows today.
Flying down a descent near Stirling and a wasp went into my helmet. Wee bastard stung me numerous times before I could stop and throw the lid off.
not being able to spit it out again?
Butterfly through the teeth, the bits of wing stick to your teeth like you wouldn’t believe...
Got a tiny fly in my eye a few weeks ago. Thought I'd got it out but an hour after getting home my eye felt weird, so peeled back my eyelid and saw the little sod crawling over my eyeball in the mirror.
Careful application of Optrex on a cotton bud removed it once the screaming stopped.
Swallowing 2 flies?
Youngest_oab was whizzing down upper red switchbacks and jumps at Laggan. Wasp down his jersey, stung him before he could pull to a stop. Third nipple time...
Wasn’t there an old lady who swallowed a fly once?
Falling off??!?
A moth going in your mouth and being sneezed out of your nose
Swallowing a spider? I mean, what’s worse than that?
Exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday OP. One of those horrible black flies out at the moment got in my ear. Thought it was never going to come out. Had to flush my lughole with my water bottle to try to drown it and at least stop the infernal buzz buzz buzzzzź! Thankfully it came out of its own accord. Had thoughts of it chewing through my ear drum!
Wasp in the helmet, happened to me on a road ride. Bugger must have panicked as it stung me, I was struggling to release the helmet clasp one handed. Managed to do it, threw the helmet of my head into a load of still wet sheep sh1t. My sunglasses went with my helmet into the steaming pile as well.
Going to get them back I got covered in it. Honestly, looked liked I’d rolled around in it.
Swallowing a spider? I mean, what’s worse than that?
Be careful, this approach can escalate quickly.
Having one shoot up your nose and take up residence in your nasopharynx - promptly followed by lots of sniffing, snorting and wretching to try and flush the bugger out again, and when it does it leaves in a pile of phlegm spat out of your mouth.
Man, so many bugs on last evening's gravel ride, going to stop using protein bars at this rate, getting more than enough from the local fauna.
Moth exploding on the back of your throat. Took me hours to get rid of the taste. Very, very bitter.
A guy I used to cycle with had a dog toffee flick up under his glasses. I think he ended up visiting hospital 3 times with issues arising. Dogshit is not 'pure'.
Finding half a worm in the apple you’ve just bitten in to.
I can't believe no one has posted the worst, which thankfully has never happened to me, riding through a dog egg and flicking some into your mouth
Going like the clappers between Garve and Strathpeffer (long time ago) a wee stone flicked up from the front wheel and whacked my epiglottis. Actually bruised it so badly that I visted the local A&E to check I handn't done some serious damage. To my embarrassment, the doc called the rest of the medics round cos he'd never seen such a thing and appeared fascinated by my now rather swollen member (yes I know where you think this is going - but do not go there thanks!!!).
Wasp in the helmet,
flies down?
Windy day, wasp flew into my mouth at speed, it immediately stung me on the side of my tongue. I crunched the little white and spat it out.
I think the people at Screwfix though the drilling guy who talked weird was a contenter for oddest customer of the day.
I couldn't eat/swallow for the rest of the day because my tongue was double it's usual size.
Many years ago, a bunch of us were road riding out to a local woods in close convoy at high speed tour de France style, when suddenly I saw everyone swerve around 'something'. My mate in front of me didn't notice and ploughed straight through a VERY decomposed badger corpse!! He literally sliced trough it like butter, bits of rotten flesh all up his legs, frame, tyres!! Oh the smell... I remember watching him trying to wash it off in a stream whilst dry heaving into his T shirt. Gotta be the worst...
What's worse? Being swallowed by a fly while riding. No question.
At the moment flys are more nutritious than my 3 year old energy bars. But I bought them and I'm determined to finish them.
Back when I was a vegetarian, swallowing flies was a dilemma!
Few of cycling along and a wasp flew into stu's baggy shorts and stung him 3 or 4 times on the thigh, cue emergency stop, baggies down and dancing like a geriatric break dancer.
Got a wasp stuck behind my sunglasses once and stung me on the eye lid. Swelled up like a balloon. It was the days of pre-Strava but I reckon my speed to the nearest village for antihistamine must have set a few records.
Moth exploding on the back of your throat. Took me hours to get rid of the taste. Very, very bitter.
Moth was a bit upset too, I imagine.
Bee sting on my tongue (15 mins before a cafe stop 🙄), I was talking like Harry Kane for two days!
The occasional fly in the gob is inevitable when riding, and I’ve always worn glasses so objects in my eyes weren’t a real issue, but I did get a wasp caught up under the pushed up sleeve of my shirt on a long fast downhill road section in France once, with a bend and junction coming up. Little stripey bastard stung me repeatedly in the crook of my elbow, at least seven or eight times, before I’d shed enough speed to be able to safely take a hand off the bars and flip the material back to release it. Damn, but that was painful! My elbow ached for ages afterwards, just glad it wasn’t a murder hornet!
What’s worse than swallowing a fly while riding?
Celery. Man I hate that stuff. 😖
Bumble bee full in the face.
It's like being hit by an angry stone.
I can’t believe no one has posted the worst, which thankfully has never happened to me, riding through a dog egg and flicking some into your mouth
I once rode through some got splattered into my beard and various but avoided my mouth. I could smell the stuff the whole way round the ride. Unfortunately having it under my nose already meant that I didn't notice the stench of the big lump on the bite valve of my camelbak. I sure as hell noticed the taste a few moments later.
I've had run off from a cow shed coat me before, that wasn't lovely.
The worst though was I spooked a grouse once which shot out of the Heather straight into my front wheel, sent me otb, broke my hand, 1 finger and 2 ribs. The grouse might have made a good burger.
Many years ago a Robin (Bird not bloke) hit the visor of my motor bike helmet when I was travelling at about 80mph. It basically exploded with bits of baby Robin everywhere. In 25 five years of motorbike riding that was the only ever bird strike, never even heard of anyone else being hit by a bird.
Hit in the chest by a bumble bee at similar speed, even through my leather jacket it felt like being hit with a rock. Got a wasp down my jacket once at about 60mph. Cue frantic chest hitting trying to kill the little ****er as it tried to get in as many stings as possible in it’s final seconds.
Best ever was being taken off the motor bike (at about 10mph) in a housing estate by a rope kids had ride across the road as a tennis net. Didn’t spot it as I was distracted by all the anxious worried looking kids waving and shouting at me 🙂
Bee stuck in helmet deciding to sting its way out was bad but wasp in mouth/stung tongue was worse. By the time I got to a physio couldn’t even speak to ask for antihistamines of some sort.
Resorted to pointing at a zirtek poster in the window & trying to shout ‘stung’ like some kind of mentalist.
choking on the bl@@dy fly then piling into a mass of nettles and brambles while trying to brake/steer/breathe at the same time
Bramble whip, where you hit a bramble branch, it whips round your elbow, then pulls a strip of flesh as you pass. Ouch plus blood.
At the moment mind what's worse than getting a fly in your mouth is the combined looks of fear, pity and hatred from everyone as you cough and choke on the bloody thing.
badger eggs are smelly beyond belief .not in mouth luckily but all over legs and bike, it wasnt a pleasant few miles home
Motorbike bird strike here as well. Going reasonably quickly when saw a blackbird take off, turn, and kill itself 1cm from my nose. Visor flexed enough to touch my nose but didn't break, fine white spray over black leathers and bike. Had to pull over and have a moment to get my heart rate down. Just glad it wasn't anything bigger.
cockchafer?
No, wait, it’s a heron’s beak isn't it?
Swallowing while being ridden....
i will get my coat.
