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Lap of the TT course, sat facing backward on the pillion of Kwak 750 Turbo, alternately laughing, screaming and crying with fear.
Climbed on stage and dived into the crowd at a Ramones gig .
Helped a bloke break into the Spa in Crumpsall one night after stopping to ask him why he was on the roof.
A mate of mine climbed Snowdon on millenium night, pissed as a fart intending to let off a load of fireworks, only to realise on the summit that she'd left her lighter behind.
Blimey I've never lived!! 🙁
OK, I've thought of one...
When staying at my Dad's in Italy at around 19, me and him went out for a few drinks with some of his business associates. Got a little drunk and he decided that rather than walk back from the bar we'd drive back, after an hour or so driving around Milan we found a parking space and walked the rest of the way back to his apartment.
I was woken up in the morning by my Dad asking me if I could remember where we'd put the car. A few days later we found it further away from his apartment than the bar, and poorly parked next to a 24hr street bar.
I can only assume we found a place to put it and then had some more drinks before walking to his apartment.
But remember, drink driving is bad.
Climbing up the outside of a two storey house in London, trying to get in through the upstairs window, losing my grip, falling 20 ft or so, narrowly missing the spiked iron railings, bouncing off a large bush in the garden and through a plate glass bay window, landing squarely in the middle of the carpet, covered in branches and broken glass at 3 am. Not one scratch on me. Wasn't even my house.
Running skyclad down a large Cumbrian hill at midnight, only losing my balance and falling into a large patch or gorse. Took two weeks to get all the thorns out.
Making home made fireworks and accidentally blowing the guttering off the roof.
Lots more fights, broken glass, blood, a few tears, sticky fingers and hazy memories. Life as a responsible adult now seems very dull in comparison.
Not me, but a mate from Uni. Was on holiday on a boat with his GF and her family, sailing round the Virgin Islands. Went ashore for a night out to see a reggae band at a local pub. Witnesses say he was very inebriated. 'Borrowed' a little boat with an outboard to get back to the yacht, moored about a half mile offshore. He was never seen again. Turns out the boat had a faulty engine and was waiting to be repaired.
Devastating.
Me, I've never done much while drunk aside from snog some howlers and puke in some rather public places, but I'm still alive, and for that I'm very grateful.
Thought of another one...
Me and a few friends at uni (Farmer Dave, Dangerous Dave and Mike) walking home drunk and noticed a light on and music coming out of a window in a house at about 4am.
We decided to gatecrash the party and began climbing through the window.
I stood on the bed and woke the guy in it (who had fallen asleep while listening to music presumably)...he was a little surprised and demanded to know who we were.
We staggered off laughing as him and his housemates 'saw us off'.
This was after being rejected from gatecrashing another party further down the street...apparently they didn't know anyone called Steve who we assured them said we were invited.
BigButSlimmerBloke - if true, that really is legendary.. not even knowing what country you're in!
Most embarrassing involves a lady and a room of (sleeping) friends.
Probably most dangerous involved trying to work out if I could jump off my motorbike, have a slash, and then jump back on the still upright bike before it fell. Needless to say there was a huge fail. As momentum was lost the bike keeled over trapping my left foot on the floor. Lifting it was somewhat problematic but achieved in the end. Seconds after righting the bike and moving to the edge of the road a car came screaming round the bend and right over the spot I had been lying seconds earlier!
Thrown down some nightclub steps and through the window of a waiting taxi.
And many, many more which I can't remember.
The most recent, buying bizare stuff on ebay!
Set fire to my hair (went up quicker than I thought it would).
Tried to jump out of a moving car and hit the ground running (harder than I expected).
Both when under 18.
Far too many examples I could list, but an early one was getting in the back of a Police car thinking it was a taxi, aged 17 and very drunk.
Set fire to my hair
Cha****ng. Yip. Done that one too, when falling down a ditch at Glastonbury carrying a huge flare
Oh god, I've just remembered another one. We decided to turn all the furniture in my mates hotel room upside down (like you do) while we were on a skiing holiday in Austria. We gained access to his room by Jumping from one balcony to another all the way along the hotel, four stories up. All while absolutely leathered.
Both when under 18 too. I'm amazed I lived to see 20
the missus
I saw some French white trash types in a campsite once doing their hair early evening in the toilet block - smoking, and using copious amounts of hairspray.
Not long after there was a lot of screaming, running about and slapping of head.
In my student days, once woke up after a night out to find a complete set of temporary traffic lights in the living room of our second floor flat. Now that has got to be one better than the standard traffic cone/ road sign beer trophy. No idea how they got there.
The following week the university had a traffic cone/sign ammensty so when we rocked up with the a complete set of temporary traffic lights they looked less than impressed.
was taking a young lady back to my flat after meeting her in a nightclub, she went to shop to get cigarettes, I had a moment of clarity and remembered that I lived with my girlfriend so i did what any man would do and legged it
we did end up going out for a while a few months later, not sure how i explained it away.........
Were the lights working? Did you nick the genny too?
The original Big Bike Bash was actually the Singletrack southern festival and was held in my back garden.
that started after 8 big Leffe and about 6 little duval with me posting an invite to a free weekend party in my back garden with free beer and food
Turned out okay though
your mama..
seriously..?
we would need to build a whole new internet to catalogue it all..
one of the more entertaining that I can recall off-hand.. was losing all my clothes barring a pair of ancient threadbare briefs before getting painted head to toe in a veritable riot of dayglo paint.. and then much to my surprise.. being invited onto the second stage at reading festival to dance for the duration of the headline act's set as a sort of Bez style mascot..
or perhaps eating a quarter of skunk then trainhopping around the country without a penny in my pocket until I eventually arrived in Brighton.. where I gave away all my worldly posessions (wallet.. driving licence.. shoes and coat..) to some french students before spending the weekend bumming around the beach smoking crack and drinking white lightening.. only to end up early on sunday afternoon back at the communal squat of some fundamentalist musical vegan religious sect where I broke their mixing desk and tried to steal a guitar.. I nearly got stabbed later that same evening by a group of homeless that were holding some sort of wake for a recently deceased friend.. after gatecrashing their street party and helping myself to the special brew and bucky..
oh the joys.. 🙄
I have a few I could list but my Brother wins the prize. The story goes...
A few years ago he was at a party hosted by his best mate, he ate handfuls of mushrooms amongst other things and all was going well until my bro really started to lose the plot. He told me he thought he was one of the Sims and that his mates could just reset him if they needed to so he proceeded to go on the rampage. After an hour or so of dancing like an idiot, removing his clothes and making lewd suggestions to men and women alike, he squatted down in the crowded living room and took a shit, right in the middle of the carpet. Then he fell in it. Then he wriggled about in it, wearing only a single sock.
The hosts demanded he cleared up but he was on another planet so they cleared it up, kicked him out and went to bed. BUT, he felt he had to apologise so he kicked their front door down, fought his way past his mate and crawled into bed with said mates missus. He was still not clean, apparently they had to replace the sheets and mattress, but he crawled in anyway and when she went nuts at him he demanded a blowjob. Eventually he was hauled into the street, barricaded out, his mates called my mum who found him dancing in the middle of a roundabout wearing only at shirt and covered in his own mess at 4 in the morning.
After this he actually left the country for 6 months and was eventually forgiven on his return, though I think the mates GF will never really trust him again.
He is a bad man my brother, but he knows how to party.
wonder how many "what goes on on tour, stays on tour" stories are being held back 😆
your brother sounds good.. I'm not mentioning any personal poo stories.. though they would merit a chapter..
or mushroom stories..
or lost plot stories.. 😳
Torminalls - your brother is truly awesome and I'm still laughing uncontrollably a few minutes after reading that.
He does indeed know how to party.
It is very rare I have ever seen him exhibit genuine shame at his antics (and there have been many) but this was one of those times.
Weirdly, my mum was strangely amused but we definitely managed to harden her up over the years.
Two of my mates were arguing shouting at each other in the street, I was shouting at them to calm down but they wouldn't listen. I saw a house brick on the floor and decided to throw it though a car window in order to get their attention. Chucked it and by some freakish miracle it just bounced right back off the window. So surreal that everyone stopped shouting in amazement and we went on our way.
Practicing kung-fu on vending macahines gets you free fanta. This is a good thing. Fleeing the scene via a window, through a muddy flower bed and traipsing foot prints all the way back to your flat is a bad thing. It makes the free fanta end up costing you several hundred pounds.
Chatted to a couple of policemen while on it.
Luckily they didn't search me, or I'd be going away for a while under "possession with intent to supply".
Looking back, it makes everything else I've done under the influence of everything else pale into insignificance.
still laughing.
the poo was the icing on the cake, so to speak
Loving that poo in the room story!
Torminalis - that's absolutely outstanding. How do you cope? Living in the shadow of such greatness 😀
torm has his own stories, ones that his brother is probably writing up over on a forum somewhere 😆
How do you cope? Living in the shadow of such greatness
Not sure really, he is the youngest and definitely the wildest of the three of us. I reassure myself that I trained him well.
Got confused where the toilet was once and tried to wee sat down on the bed. Body was having none of it though an I couldn't go so just fell asleep sat up on the edge of the bed with pants off an a boob hanging out
I think it's a clever use of 'my brother'.
I've got a mate who...
fell asleep sat up on the edge of the bed with pants off an a boob hanging out
first one that made me genuinely laugh out loud. 
hmm. few years ago fell off my bike while riding home from the pub, along a perfectly smooth cycle path, and broke my collarbone.
last week, riding back from the same pub, on teh same bike, along the same stretch of cycle path, i decided i was steering well clear of that side of the path, so stuck to the other side.
fell off my bike into the canal.
still clipped in, i remember grabbing the bank with one hand, and the top tube with the other, unclipping, then hauling the bike out, then pulling myself out.
i had made a number of attempts to mount the bike, both before and after my impromptu dip, before deciding that walking might be the best option, and have the scars and bruises to show.
the replacement smart phone turned up today. 😳
My best mate is a legend amongst our friends for being stupid and getting completely drunk way too soon.
We were about 17, some older friends (20-30) were having a party. I went over after finishing work about 11ish. On entering the street I could here him shouting that he wasn't drunk, he could hardly stand.I was asked to take him home.
[b]Long Version[/b]
After about 15 minutes of having some fun by getting him to drink vegetable oil, neat squash, soda stream stuff and some other concoctions I told him we had better leave.
Eventually got him out the door, he then fell straight on a rose bush, wriggled around a bit and finally got up. I wanted to stay at the party, so I told him I was going to run home and that he should to, we lived in opposite directions. He went off running, more like running when you've span yourself twenty times, but A for trying. I went back into the party and that was just the start of the bad story for him.
He woke up the next day, thinking everything is fine, parents weren't talking to him.. After a few days of investing we found out he had run home, couldn't get through the door, the mud all over the door would suggest he tried a lot. So fell asleep on the muddy grass bank next to the road, so the neighbours told him. Somehow he was now completely covered in mud and got inside and upstairs to his room .His mum then entered his room cos he was shouting and making a lot of noise. She found him totally naked with cock in hand, he looked at her and told her the "F off would you! Just F off!", then proceeded piss all over his bed and get into it and sleep. He had no idea until his parents told him..
[b]Short Version:[/b] Drank veg oil and other horrible kitchen things, ran home, slept on the grass, covered head to toe in mud, eventually got inside. Mum could hear him shouting, entered his room to find him totally naked cock in hand. He shouted "F off would! F off!", then pissed over his bed, got straight into it and slept. He had no idea until his parents told him.
--------------------------------------
Same guy above, we managed to shave his eyebrow off, taking photos along the way. We drew it back on with permanent marker, then got arty with it on his face. Someone took him to the toilet and hit his head on the toilet bowl, he decided to lock himself in there and stayed there until the morning.
We managed to convince him that he locked himself in the toilet and shaved his own eyebrow off and then decided to put the marker over his face. He believed us for 6 months, he was not happy when he found out.
5 years I visited him at uni, told his housemates about his eyebrow. It happened again, just after he had decided to make the toilet resemble something from Trainspotting and trying to pin it on me.
I don't have too many stories about me, my friend does a good job on his own.
This was a combined effort really, on leaving the pub one evening ( which may have been early morning) the five of us 2 girls and 3 blokes decided that the campsite we were staying on needed a picnic bench. So passing another pub on the way back we sat one girl on the top of said bench and with one of us on each corner hoisted it aloft, carrying it through the village and back to the site with her sat like a queen atop, although by now screaming a bit to get down. It's still there 2 years on and we've had many a good party on it.
Tried to run some people over in a 4x4 driving the wrong way round a one way system in San antonio in Ibiza at 5am followed by ugly scenes with machetes.
It was 13 years ago and I am a completely different person now. Thank god...
had a friend who forgot which door led to the toilet in a drunken state and through what he thought was the right door and proceeded to piss all over his sleeping grandads face in the spare room
oh to be young again!
a friend once forgot his key so went round the back and climbed in the window made himself a cheese sandwich then sat down to watch telly only then did he realise he was in the wrong house.
the worst thing I have ever done whilst off my head was to realise i had a raving habit and that i had to escape for the sake of my sanity so I moved from madchester. On reflection choosing to move to Amsterdam was not the best choice 🙄
Pissed on the canteen wall of Croydon police station, one New Year's Eve many years ago.......'cause I was busting 😐
It's the one on the left with all the ground floor windows :
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I have undoubtedly done lots of other stupid things whilst inebriated, but that one always sticks in my mind for its sheer stupidity. And I couldn't figure out at the time why all my mates ran off and left me.
Less of a question of what I have done, than who I have done.
One blessing of age is the ability to manage that is less likely,
(I am told)
On the other hand I wonder who has woken up next to me and wondered how much they had drunk?
I met [/url][url= http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23736087-razorlight-lose-a-roadie-at-70mph-on-motorway.do ]Frank[/url] a while back. Possibly the most entertaining drunk story in a while
One that comes to mind is playing drums on a load of rusty steel barrels at the reading festival for about 4 hours, first with some old tent poles then when they broke with my hands. Basically lost consciousness even though my body was still going. Anyway, sun comes up, and some bouncer guys came over and told us to stop. I thought they just didn't like the music so spent ages trying to find out what beats they'd prefer... Eventually one of them explained that no, they thought I should stop because I was covered in blood. And I was. Freaked out for a while, finally looked at hands, I'd basically flayed them. Thought it was time to go to bed (8am). Thanked kindly bouncers.
Woke up about an hour later in screaming agony, wasn't able to use my hands for anything more complicated than holding a pint glass for about 3 days. No drugs involved, just good times, sunshine, sleep deprivation and a dash of jack daniels.