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[Closed] What coffee to put in my rectum?

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[#9760553]

Asking for a friend

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jan/09/gwyneth-paltrow-goop-coffee-enema-colonic-irrigation

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:35 am
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I can't tell the difference between super expensive snobby stuff and Starbucks. With my mouth. So it would be slightly remiss to tell you what to put up your bum.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:38 am
 IHN
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I find that any strong coffee applied orally irrigates my colon quite effectively.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:40 am
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haha IHN my thoughts exactly


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:43 am
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Ask a civet, they know about rectal coffee.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:48 am
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Mellow Turds?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:48 am
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Assrabica?

Robuttso?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:56 am
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[i]Ask a civet, they know about rectal coffee. [/i]

A Civet Bang then?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 10:58 am
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That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:00 am
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A lady I know has champagne enemas.
She also detoxed on a pint of olive oil. Messy.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:02 am
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[i]How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?[/i]

I think the thing is that there's lots of people who are really weird and also good at their job. They're not mutually exclusive.

We just tend to see it more with people in the public eye.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:03 am
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I find that any strong coffee applied orally irrigates my colon quite effectively.

+1

Speaking of which, the turtle stirs.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:04 am
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Brown Mountain for the win!


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:08 am
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@zippykona is she on tinder?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:14 am
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Tea is a much better choice for this IME. Variety is critical though.

Which one should you use, you ask?

Assam.

(Here all week, IGMC etc)


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:14 am
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Anyone else looking at that picture in the first post and thinking 'ghetto tubeless inflator'.......

Surely it's t-ass-imo coffee you want to use with it?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:15 am
 tlr
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Cold.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:16 am
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Lavassa, surely?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:16 am
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SaxonRider - Member

That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?

I would like to blame Coldplay face, but being off your rocker isn't necessarily a big barrier to being a good actress, especially when the type of crazy she's indulging in is wu wu faith healing bullshit that probably goes over quite well with her peer group.

Anyway, she's now making millions selling crap to gullible half wits - lunatic or marketing genius?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:18 am
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I recommend an arsetisan coffee very finely ground by a beardy hipster wearing tweed underwear


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:33 am
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Poor form on the thread title choice.

‘What coffee for arseholes?’ Shirley...


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:34 am
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Cappuccino


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:35 am
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I recommend an arsetisan coffee very finely ground by a beardy hipster wearing tweed underwear

Don't forget the waistcoat....


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:35 am
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N-ass-cafe 🙂


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:54 am
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Nothing wrong with colonic irrigation, in my experience. Coffee wasn't involved though.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 11:56 am
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Brown Mountain for the win!

*coffee tries to escape through nose*


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:23 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:27 pm
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*coffee tries to escape through nose*

How far up did you shove the pipe? 😯


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:28 pm
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[i]How far up did you shove the pipe?[/i]

Top tip: An Airshot is not an appropriate source of compressed air for this type of activity.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:30 pm
 JAG
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Mellow Turds

We have a Winner!


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:33 pm
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Top tip: An Airshot is not an appropriate source of compressed air for this type of activity.

I wouldn't use an Aeropress either.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:34 pm
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How far up did you shove the pipe?

Far enough, obviously!

😡


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:35 pm
 Nico
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That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?

Too much money, too many people telling you you are wonderful and living in California. Other barking actresses are available:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/403526/Sarah-Miles-opens-healing-centre-in-her-home


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:39 pm
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It's the Muppet show, 'an enema doo doo d' didoo'.

'would you prefer a continental or a Kenyan, sir?'


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:44 pm
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next thread "what pressure washer for colonic irrigation with coffee"


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 12:51 pm
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Surely any brand of asspresso will do.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:23 pm
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Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

These people live on another planet and think they can tell everyone how easy it is to be perfect like them excluding the fact we don't have millions of pounds...


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:26 pm
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Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

Nothing wrong with that if you're feeling flush.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:29 pm
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Q. What coffee to put in my rectum?
A. Not mine.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:34 pm
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Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

Surely depends on the quality of the hash?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:35 pm
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I don’t know about coffee, but if you are using tea - only Assam will do.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:36 pm
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Nothing wrong with colonic irrigation, in my experience

But what does it actually achieve?


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:40 pm
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But what does it actually achieve?

Quite a lot if you're the quack selling the 'service' to idiots with more money than sense.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 1:44 pm
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But what does it actually achieve?

If you've been prone to constipation/sluggish bowels then it can help. I was very surprised at the number of loo visits needed afterwards. Irrigation also showed that I had candida which wasn't actually a surprise.

Quite a lot if you're the quack selling the 'service' to idiots with more money than sense.

Oooh, get you.


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 2:01 pm
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covfefe


 
Posted : 09/01/2018 2:04 pm
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