[Closed] Walking into dodgy pubs - etiquette?

I always find a Mark Corrigan internal monologue is helpfull when confronted with these situations.

Tom - it'd be a brave man who called your pint a puff! 🙂

Bregante - talking of Salford pubs, we'd been out on a Saturday night and pushed on through to Sunday. In a bit of a dazed and confused state, we went to a mates local - the Weaste. Nice boozer! 5 of us walk in and there's about 20 Salford heads stood at the bar. Something major was clearly going off. They all turn round and stare at us, then this man mountain marches towards us...

"What the * ya think you're doing lads?"

"We've come for a pint"

"No you haven't. Not here. * off!"

.... And literally shoved us out the door! 😯

I can't find a picture, but we stayed in the log cabins next to Goytre Football Club with an attached bar. I had never been in a pub before where absolutely everyone wants a fight. Not with anybody in particular, just whoever is in range. The only way to act nonchalant in there was to run in, grab a chair and smash someone over the head with it before nicking his pint, and glassing the next bloke you saw.

And there was that bar in Glencorryg - dunno if it's still there, under the church I think. I was propositioned by a very large welshman in the toilets. Never tried to finish a wee so quickly

Oh and cougar's post made me laugh 🙂

Used to go out with a girl from there.

so did I. Up near the ski slope. I wonder if it was the same one

Probably. Was she MENTAL by any chance?

Completely. Batshit crazy to the power of lobster!

I don't think that narrows it down much, lads.

Did you ever take her up The Halo?
Very popular round there.

Come on Binners, which pub - your reputation's on the line here.
😀

Did you ever take her up The Halo?

Tried, but her Victorian Dad was asleep in the next room so she wasn't having any of it...

Rusty - The queens Arms. I've not been in pub that smelt that bad since the week the smoking ban came in! More tracky bottoms than you can shake a spliff at!

"Oh hello! Two glasses of Prosecco please and have one for yourself my good man'.

I recall a rough old looking dive in the Welsh valleys when briefly living there, bunch of us IT folk walk in, sawdust on floor, bar and a dartboard and that's it. Toothless types about that place, odd looks walking in. Still, after ordering the local ale and daring to use the dartboard they turned out to be a really friendly bunch. Likewise the working mens club. Flat roofed and grim from the outside, but was a lively fun place, bingo, quizzes, live music etc.

I didn't know it opened during the daytime!
Bad rep that place.

If you see a snide looking bloke with ringworm and a greyhound/staffie cross, could you pick up a quarter of my usual?

Have you tried the bar at the station?
It's ace.

Etiquette? Avoid eye contact.

Then order up, buy a packet of crisps and share them with the Rottweiler/Doberman/German Shepherd you rode in with.

My boss told me about the Manchester tradition of buy a pint and tip the barman (20p?). Is that common place?

'Similar' experience as we were greeted by the doorman of "le pipeline" bar in the south of france.
Only figured out it was a butch biker gay bar, not a strip club just as that same doorman closed and locked the door behind us and our eyes adjusted to the dim light to get eyed up by 20 blokes 😉
The red light illumination in the loo was somewhat unsettling.. but yep.. straight to bar, order a beer and drink up.
Nice bunch actually, got bought a second round 😉

@ElShalimo - it's nr hipperholme traffic lights, just on the left as you head towards brighouse. Do you know it? Odd place - portacabin outside, then you go in and it's a bit pub meets wine bar 🙂

Had a similar experience in Blackhill, near Consett in County Durham. Me and the wife had cycled up to a campsite one Friday after work, and walked to the nearest pub. Walked through the door, looked at each other in a way that said "we can't just walk straight out, we'll never be seen again" and ordered a pint each.

10 pints later we actually left, had a cracking night!

Begbie!!! Chilling even in a photo. I bet the other actors were terrified.

I've been in the Flemish weaver, it wasn't that bad, just very empty and a bit quiet.

The one further up the road was the one where everyone was bundled out while a bloke got his head stoved in whilst in the bogs...

Nowt on this place (now demolished)

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The ‘Brass Handles’ murders: The gangland killing in Salford which backfired
On a Sunday afternoon in March 2006, Richard Austin and Carlton Alveranga walked into the Brass Handles pub in Salford. They were not, like the majority of the patrons, there to watch the Manchester United versus Newcastle United match.
The pair had been hired to perform a gangland "hit" on a man drinking inside the pub. Instead, they had their guns wrestled from them by pub regulars and were themselves shot – murdered with their own weapons – and left to die on a grass verge outside.
But despite the pub being busy due to the football match, no one admits to having witnessed the killings, and the police have made no headway with the murder inquiry. After the shooting, the pub's shutters were immediately pulled down and the CCTV footage from inside was wiped clean before police could get hold of it.
Yet the circumstances leading up to the murders have been pieced together, and three convictions have been secured for Greater Manchester Police. Austin, 19, and Alveranga, 20, were hired by the 41-year-old gangster Bobby Spiers who "masterminded" the assassination attempt. He wanted David Totton, 27, dead because Spiers, a director of PMS security, had fallen out with Totton over entry to a nightclub.
The young gunmen were driven to the pub by Ian McLeod, one of the leaders of Manchester's Doddington Gang. Not being from Salford themselves, they did not know the layout of the pub nor the identity of the man they were supposed to kill.
That is where Constance Howarth came in. The 38-year-old drank in the pub once a week and agreed to act as a "spotter" and guide the would-be assassins to their targets. Entering the pub at 2.15pm, Austin fired his pistol six times at Totton before someone intervened.
Then Alveranga's 9mm handgun jammed. Another person wrestled it from him and the weapon was turned on the hitmen. Both ran out with bullet wounds to their chests. They died on the grass outside, 20 yards apart.
David Totton was shot three times, but survived. His friend Aaron Travers was shot five times, but also lived.
Howarth was in the toilet the whole time, applying her lipstick. After the botched execution, she calmly left by a back door. McLeod, waiting in the car outside, ran over to the bodies and shouted, "Are they dead?" before speeding off in his Ford Mondeo.
Howarth and McLeod were both convicted of conspiracy to murder and sentenced to 20 and 21 years respectively in May 2007. Bobby Spiers believed he had the perfect alibi. He was at the football match being watched by those in the pub and had directed the plot at half time, sending text messages while enjoying hospitality in an executive box at Old Trafford.
He fled to Spain, but was extradited and sentenced to life earlier this month. Whoever killed Austin and Alveranga has never been caught. Sources close to the case say officers know the identity of the killer – a Gooch gang member (rivals to the Doddington gang), who just happened to be in the pub at the time – but cannot prove his involvement. Due to the wall of silence the police face, it is unlikely he will ever be convicted.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/getting-away-with-murder-britains-most-notorious-unsolved-crimes-1785218.html

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laindon, near the post office. it's the nearest post office to work, not had the nerve to go in yet

2 rules
never drink in a pub with no windows
never drink in a pub next to a bus station

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The Brown Cow in Heywood looks really dodgy from outside.

It's the completely-untrelated-to-cattle Parachute Regiment cap badge on the sign that is the giveaway.

My boss told me about the Manchester tradition of buy a pint and tip the barman (20p?). Is that common place?

Took me a minute to remember what you're talking about there. This is a code for expressing interest in a value-added service, yes? I know what you're referring to if so, but I thought it was a specific pub rather than a "Manchester Tradition" and I've no idea whether it's true or the entire thing was an urban myth.

The Brown Cow was on our Friday night pub crawl list Tobago.

Duke of Wellington
Wishing Well
The Ship
The Victoria
Queen Anne
Freemasons
Brown Cow
Squash Club

🙂

Used to drink in The Rag Doll in Edinburgh's Stockbridge - very very local, quite rough round the edges, but my flatmates played football with the regulars and I would go with them or the guys from local bowling club..

As above any of the flat roofed pubs in Glasgow. shudders.

WillIamnot what about pubs next to train stations 😀

Cough Huddersfield 8)

Bregante > that's an amazing story. Thanks for posting.

Some decades ago whilst young and unaware of the ways of the world, my mate and I went to london to visit a girl at university.
To explain our level of inexperience we went without an A to Z believing in our northern way we could ask friendly local residents of london for directions when we arrived!
Totally lost after several hours of asking "friendly" locals for directions we went in to a public house for refreshment.
One room, everyone of the many customers stopped and judged us. In a cartoon manner I noticed the St George's flag and crossed swords above the fire.
Without doubt the most NF pub I have ever walked in.
Followed the established practise.
Two pints of lager,
Look straight ahead,
Drink promptly!
Leave without making eye contact.

williamnot - Member
2 rules
never drink in a pub with no windows
never drink in a pub next to a bus station

POSTED 26 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

For a minute Cougar, I thought you was taking the Michael. 🙂

Yeah, sorry, that's probably to be expected. I was serious, thought it was really interesting.

More so when you know some of the characters involved, up close and personal like

[i]singlesteed - Member
This thread reminds me of a time when I walked into Newton Abbot's finest " cider bar " where you literally think you've just stepped onto a pirate ship.

I casually ordered two steak and ale pies and two pints of strong cider and was presented with a plank of wood to perch on which was all very basic but man that pint and pie did the job!
I actually quite liked ths experience as a teenager as it felt " proper jobby " in a historic kindaway.

If I went further south and found this place then inbreds would deffo be found.

Tbh I can't stand going to my local nowadays or in past as it's unfortunately full of inbreaded toffs and rich so called " farmers ".

So I have now found a great ph on the canal with great scenery and countryside walks whilst topping up on black dragon cider ( is a must try ).

Rev James is a really good cask ale but I have to go into town to get it. Sigh lol
[/i]
As a student I lived about 6 doors down from the cider bar. Now that was a proper boozer. Quiz at the jolly farmer wasn't bad either.

I remember that 'hit' Bregante. I wouldn't have gone near that boozer. We drank at the Woolpack up the road. That was apparently the only pub in Salford not paying protection. There was a bloke in there called Johnny Red, who booted the scrotes out. Apparently he'd been shot on a number of occasions, and was generally regarded as unkillable

also used to love in Eccles and used to drink in the Inn of Good Hope, which wasn't a bad boozer. Left there after a few scoops just as 2 people got shot in a drive by.

Got to love Salford! I do miss it! 😀

[i]but we stayed in the log cabins next to Goytre Football Club with an attached bar.[/i]

ha.ha. God, everything was made of formica...

The old-boy sat by the corner. "for a good night out, you need to go to Measteg, if you're a supermodel, you go to Swansea"

Or the farmer (with baling twine detail on his trice handed down tweeds)

"Mountain biking is it? Take it up the arse do you?"

Drunk in that Salford pub Bregante posted, as a mate used to live in one of those high rises begin it - never did it again!

Once did the 'walk in, order beer & then look round' in a bar in Daytona, Florida. Don't know whether it was the club patch painted on the wall or the fact all the patrons were in cuts, heavily tattooed & wearing beards that made them look like they'd eaten a bear & left its arse hanging out.
In retrospect the Harleys parked outside adorned with shotgun boots on the frame should have been a pointer..

The Brown Cow was on our Friday night pub crawl list Tobago.

Ye gods. Mind you, I've been in some pretty awful pubs in my time (Smithdown 10, anyone?)

Is the Flying Shuttle in the middle of Bury as dreadful as it looks?

what about pubs next to train stations

on a work trip to nottingham. our hotel was shut?! so we went in the pub right next to the station. 😯

It is as follows: without fail.
Enter pub, march to the bar.

Do not acknowledge anyone but the female attendant. Real hard pubs don't employ men.

Ask for a pint of heavy. You will be asked which one, your response is "the cheapest".

Drink half of it in one. Buy a Bells and say "one for you too love".

Roll a fag.

Pick a spot and stay alive as long as you can. I can only speak for Scottish pubs with flat roofs.

Edit: You know what, I love a dodgy pub. IME though, you really have to be alone, or "away" with another 10 000.

building a couple of log cabins up near irvine somewhere, can't remember the town, me and another lad walked into a bar, everyone turned round and stared and then carried on. we stood at the bar, bar man looked up, carried on talking....still talking...still talking, a couple of locals came in, got served straight away. barman looks at us again, carries on talking...still talking.. still talking...we turn around and leave, fast

all the local, feral, unemployed inbreds

'ere! I resemble that remark 😐

Don't laugh at the strippers.