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True Facts
 

[Closed] True Facts

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Roger Moore is actually dead! RIP Roger


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:17 pm
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I have never had to wipe!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:18 pm
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You can write the word banana with a single tub of hundreds and thousands.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:22 pm
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Dogs, cats and horses are all the same animal. Clue's in the number of legs, morons.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:25 pm
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The Mueller report only reported true facts and came to a firm conclusion.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:32 pm
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Richard Littlejohn is secretly worried that dicks are delicious.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 2:58 pm
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20 Stoats can bring down a Cow!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:05 pm
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More people signed the petition to revoke article 50 than voted for Farage's Brexit party.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:20 pm
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20 Stoats can bring down a Cow!

Or 40 weasels, 10 pine martens, 1 wolverine


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:24 pm
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If you encounter a Black bear, play dead and it won't attack you. Brown bears will.

...or is it the other way around? I can't remember.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:32 pm
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Just have to remember " If it's brown take it downtown, if it's black fake a heart attack"


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:39 pm
 nbt
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[strong]jon1973[/strong] wrote:

If you encounter a Black bear, play dead and it won’t attack you. Brown bears will.
…or is it the other way around? I can’t remember.

Bear bells and cans of pepper spray are handy to avoid / fend off brown bear attacks

Black bear poo smells of pepper and has bells in it


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:40 pm
 DezB
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All very useful, but what about grizzly bears?


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:43 pm
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All very useful, but what about grizzly bears?

African or European?


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:46 pm
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Tic Tac mints are made from the holes punched out of Polos.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:48 pm
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Grizzly bears may intake up to 360 quarter pounders from McDonalds each day.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:51 pm
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BMWs are equipped with awesome visual technology that enables indicators when within sight of an MoT Symbol, then disables them as soon as the car leaves the garage. Contrary to popular belief, it's not because the driver is a bit of a dick.

Speed limits don't apply to Audis, apart from the crappy little ones in which case the speed limit is actually half what the sign says it is

People who live in cities and never get further away from the city centre than an out of town shopping centre really do need a Range Rover.

Dundee Council do actually know what they're doing


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:54 pm
 DezB
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African or European?

Yes!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 3:57 pm
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In that case pretend to be a baby seal.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:00 pm
 DezB
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I just looked it up and discovered another fact - If a bear attacks you it will bite off your face and wear it as a mask to enable it to get closer to picnickers.
(all here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bear-Attacks-Causes-Avoidance-Revised/dp/158574557X for verification purposes)


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:02 pm
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I just looked it up and discovered another fact – If a bear attacks you it will bite off your face and wear it as a mask to enable it to get closer to picnickers.
(all here – https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bear-Attacks-Causes-Avoidance-Revised/dp/158574557X for verification purposes)

Probably part of the origin of the phrase 'bear-faced cheek'.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:10 pm
 DezB
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[s]Probably[/s] FACT!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:11 pm
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Most people only use 90% of their brain to complete routine tasks.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:12 pm
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I was told it was a bear that had stolen all my tools... (looks suspiciously at DezB).


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:15 pm
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My bicycle has five wheels.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:19 pm
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Most people only use 90% 9% of their brain to complete routine tasks live their entire life.

FTFY, etc.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:20 pm
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90% of most people would need 205% of their brain to do statistics. write coherent sentences without editing less than twice.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:21 pm
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Statistics are 100% made up.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:21 pm
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Grizzly bears aren’t real. They’re just brown bears that have been taking “supplements” to help them make sick gains bro.

Speaking of sick. Sick bikes aren’t a real company. Jeremy Beadle is alive and sick is his tour de force comeback for Beadle’s about. Oh how we’ll laugh when he takes off his mask and fake tattoos


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:22 pm
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Bats are just nightime birds.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:37 pm
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If you ever see a Volvo Xc being driven off-road(excluding pavements) then you’re actually witnessing an ongoing accident.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:42 pm
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Fatty and thinny went to bed..
Fatty rolled over and thinny was dead!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:50 pm
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Baby hamsters are called Hamlets.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 4:53 pm
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Everyone in the world can fit on the Isle of Wight at the same time.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:04 pm
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The Isle of Wight would actually sink if everyone in the world stood on it at the same time.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:08 pm
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If everyone in the world tried to stand on the Isle of Wight at the same time, the directors of Red Funnel Ferries would be able to buy a new Audi EACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:11 pm
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If everyone on earth farted at the same time, it would knock the planet off its axis.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:28 pm
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If everyone on earth farted and sneezed at the same time, it would cause a mass exstinktion.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:35 pm
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Speed limits are more guidelines for motorcyclists.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:42 pm
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A syndrome is not a pleasure palace.

And as for syntax...


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:50 pm
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"Dogs can't look up"

It was on a flim and it must be true....

...Back to the Winchester 😉


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:55 pm
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and deer.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:56 pm
 Nico
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Grizzly bears are just brown bears in a bad mood.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:57 pm
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If you're experiencing a sense of pleasant satisfaction with your circumstances, you're feeling gruntled.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 5:58 pm
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The Isle of Wight is actually named for its original inhabitants. Wraith like creatures who left en mass in 11AD and formed a new dwelling that is now known to us as Halifax. You can actually see their eery descendants haunting the pubs of a weekend night in Tod and Sowerby Bridge.


 
Posted : 30/05/2019 6:09 pm
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