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Today, I have the m...
 

[Closed] Today, I have the most terrible...

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.....wind.

parp

Oh FFS. It's been going on since last night now and it's getting to the point where it's not even funny anymore.

guff

I don't even know what's caused it really. Could be those veggie cheese and onion things I had for dinner. I dunno.

toot

I hope it stops soon.

trump



   
 DezB
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My road bike gives me atrocious wind. I think its some kind of allergy.



   
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My road bike gives me atrocious wind. I think its some kind of allergy.

Snap! Just been out for a few hours on mine and was farting and burping all the way.



   
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It's herpies.



   
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peter,

am i remembering correctly that you helped out with a bike scheme for kids in the area? if so is there a website or anything with details of this marvelous idea?



   
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Often happens when you're full of sh!t.



   
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Two days?! Think yersel' lucky. I'm trying to quit smoking and have spent the last TWO MONTHS parping away due to the phenylalanine in the nicotine tablets ๐Ÿ™

Think my wife preferred the smell of smoke ๐Ÿ™‚



   
 DezB
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[i]am i remembering correctly that you helped out with a bike scheme for kids in the area? if so is there a website or anything with details of this marvelous idea?[/i]

I don't know why, but this is the funniest thing I've read today!



   
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its the word marvelous, always does the trick



   
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Me too.

Sqweeeble.



   
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peter,

am i remembering correctly that you helped out with a bike scheme for kids in the area? if so is there a website or anything with details of this marvelous idea?

I do yes, but there's no website. It's run by Hart District Council (Fleet, Hampshire) and we basically take 'wayward' kids and get them repairing old bikes we get from the Police and other donations, set them up with lights, locks and other accerssories and they get to keep the bike they've been working on.

It was started by the Council along with another guy, but I'm not sure what's happening with him as I ran the last sessions on my own, and will be doing another soonish

Where do you live? I can put you in contact with the chap at the council that organises it if you like?

(PS - Still tooting......)



   
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pain in all the diodes down your left side?

Sorry, wrong thread.



   
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Your lucky, I had lots of asparagus last night. It really does make your Pee stink!!



   
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I'll see your trouser coughs and smelly pee and raise you the after-effects of All-You-Can-Eat spicy wings and $2 pints X-o



   
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grew up in fleet, currently residing very near swinley (not sure about giving too much away on a forum where some member might stalk me in the future haha)

i'm really interested in getting involved, but think i'd need to really work on my bike mechanic skills first!



   
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Sugar puffs make your wee smell, well, sugar-puffy.



   
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Ohhhhhhh nasty!



   
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this thread reminded me of this (safe for work):



   
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Fffffffffssssssssttttt!!!

(paaaaah....)



   
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Phil, It's not heavy-duty mechanicing, just getting an unloved bike working again - New BB, shifters, cables, tyres, stuff like that. All nice and relaxed ๐Ÿ™‚

The scheme itself is a bit stop/start right now. I've done 2 sets of 3 weeks since I got involved in the spring, but they're hoping to get more referrals. Kids are usually 11-15 years old, and it runs 2hrs Saturday mornings. There's always a comminity worker and a PCSO in attendance in case there's any 'issues' but it's been fione for me so far.

We're trying to expand a bit by doing a 'Bike MOT' day on a housing estate. I'll be checking bikes over and doing simple repairs and there'll be a copper doing security marking, all based in the 'Safer Heart' van I believe. We've booked that for 20th November.......

To be honest I find it great fun. Messing with bikes I love and the kids do get something positive out of it as well.



   
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Why not have some fun with your flatulence

[img] [/img]



   
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Prrrrp!

I too am occasionally afflicted with the most [i]terrible[/i] wind. Organic wheat beer and kebabs is a particularly evil combination, it seems.

PeterPoddy is a serial farter anyway, so if he say's he's got terrible wind, then it's really something to be worried about. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ



   
 Andy
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(Pfffphhhsssst)

Agreed Peter Poddys Prodigious Pharting (or PP's PP) is legend.



   
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[i]bigyinn - Member
Sugar puffs make your wee smell, well, sugar-puffy.
POSTED 2 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST
[/i]
That's yeast in your wee, allegedly' maybe' I await correction from someone who actually knows,



   
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Sounds good.... would need to sit in on a session and judge if I'm mechanical enough, still pretty new to bikes, but not new to troublesome teens



   
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Me too.

Much more Audible last night, but today just damn right stinky, even if i controlled the outbursts they stunk.

Is it climate change or from the change of seasons?



   
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Phil, drop me an email if you're interested (in profile) You're very welcome ๐Ÿ™‚

---------------------------

Cheers Wriggles, I knew I could count on you..... ๐Ÿ˜‰

I need to go somewhere for a ride soonish, any suggestions?



   
 Andy
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Hmmm checks weather for Chilterns...... wonders if Elfin can get his arse in gear...

oooh you could meet the dog!



   
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those packs of dried soya mince they call "beanfeast". Guaranteed fartfest. I dunno what's in it, you add water and heat it up ito a chilli like substance. but it makes you fart the most deadly, noxious and offensive bottom burps. They even wake you up at night.



   
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I like farting really loudly, late at night, to scare the neighbours.

What you on abahyt Andy yer bastard?

If I can get there easily then I might come. I could do with a bikey somewhere nice too.

Beanfeast? Fartfeast more like.



   
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Not this weekend though Andy, busy busy busy.......



   
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I'm probbly in Sarfhampton this weekend.

Probbly be down the docks shouting at seagulls. Bastards.



   
 Andy
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No worries chaps drop me an email for when you are free. Come over the night before for food - we could do a Farting Sunday menu.... food guaranteed to make you pump like a powerstation

(baaaaaarp!)



   
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Hows everyone's trouser trumpets today then?



   
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Had a meeting earlier; the coffee exacerbated my windy belly. Had to cork it for an hour and a half. The diuretic nature of the coffee meant my bladder filled quickly and put increased pressure on my lower intestines, thus worsening the situation. Caused me some discomfort. The journey back from Swiss Cottage was not my most pleasant one.



   
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Pp. Do they do that bike fixing thing in other areas of the country?

Id be well up for that in northampton!



   
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They have schemes like that round my way. Works really well...

...the scrotes now know how to strip bikes of expensive components properly. ๐Ÿ™„



   
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Tim, I'm only aware of the one near me....



   
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Elfin, I'll be on t'Sarf Coast as well tomorrow. Family stuff. Food and cake! Get in!



   
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Nice. I dare say at some stage I'll be in Nick's ridiculous [s]suicide machine[/s] car being really, really frightened... ๐Ÿ˜ฏ



   
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I'll stay away from the roads, just in case..... ๐Ÿ˜ฏ