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Especially for the few girls on here, romance... what is it?
Is it taking flowers to first dates and stuff like that?
Guys, what's the most romantic thing you'd say that you've done? Did it work?
This should get interesting....
I spent an hour walking round a field and woods, picking flowers to make a little bunch for an ex when se was ill. She seemed to like it.
I'm not much good at this romancing stuff.
My one and only single success story in this minefield, involved me booking a surprise weekend in Barcelona for me and the misses. I took care of childcare, her work, everything arranged behind her back.
It was a tremendous success and the best, filthiest sex I have ever had.
All further attempts fell flat on their face.
A disgusting schmaltzy insincerity designed to shift flowers, chocolates and hotel rooms that should be banned for the good of humanity ?
Blokes only drag out the flowers when they have misbehaved or are about to, so at least it has that going for it.
Women are easy to please just listen to them, talk honestly and don't be a ****, buying flowers is the cowards way out.
Oh yeah and edit to above, they drag out the flowers etc when they want to do something they have seen on t'internet.
Worn a suede jacket?
CFH, I have one of those, it works, it's the stuff that dreams are made of, so I'm told....
Romance is all about the little things. You cant just buy a bunch of flowers now and again, or book a weekend away once a year and then consider that enough to last the season. Its things like opening her car door for her, pulling up her chair, rubbing her feet while you watch a movie chilled on the sofa, make her a nice packed lunch for work, cook her a lovely candle lit meal with a cold bottle of wine when she gets in from work, tell her she looks fantastic now and again. Thats romance, a string of thoughtfull gestures, not a one off effort to redeam your lazyness every once in a while.
"Women are easy to please"
Women [i]think[/i] they are easy to please.
Romance is doing the unexpected (in a nice way), it doesn't need to cost much at all, for me it's the small things. Not the typical flowers/cards/chocolates etc. Two things that stick in my mind
1. living in the middle of nowhere and having to cycle to shop to get my sunday newspaper (I like to read it in bed). Guy I was seeing got up early without waking me to go and get it.
2. after coming back from a day in the hills both freezing cold and knackered, collapsed on the sofa. Totall totally exhausted. The guy had hurt his leg so was really crippled, but still got up ran a bath for me, brought me a glass of wine, washed my hair, then left me in peace!
But maybe I'm just easy to please?
All good stuff, but what about driving romance from the start of a relationship.
I told an Aussie girl that I met in London recently that I din't care about her brains just whether she took it up the arsenal. Whilst she was keen to come back with me, that clearly isn't romance. So I think I need some help.....
Alpine did you or he finish it? He sounds like a saint!
alpine girl, surely that isnt romance? Its just being nice...
I agree, surely those examples are just being thoughtful/considerate?
And why doesn't it work both ways?
Washing the hair thing, that's got to be romantic... surely?
CoffeeKing it doesn't work both ways because women are precious and need to be pampered.. obviously.
i turn up to dates and txt occasionally, je suis romeo
The guy had hurt his leg so was really crippled, but still got up ran a bath for me, brought me a glass of wine, washed my hair, then left me in peace!
You let him run around after you even though you knew he was really crippled and in pain? Where's the romance in that? 😉
Trim regularly
Washing the hair thing, that's got to be romantic... surely?
Depends how it's done I suppose. I've washed the vomit from a girls hair, not sure that was romantic.
CFH it doesn't work both ways because women are precious and need to be pampered.. obviously.
I'm not CFH?
To my darling The Southern Yeti
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love tails 
hair washing, is that a new fetish i've not come across before?
Tails - I'm a sucker for flowers... literally.
Being with me is reward enough for any woman.
Dunno, I'm trying my best with the current missus............
flowers - occasionlay
Chocolates - Regulalrly
Wine - lots
Home cooked food - every night
Meals out - to nice places (and I invariably pay)
Day's out - we went for a spontaneous day out in Lymington last weekend, does that count?
however;
Within 30 minutes she'd recycled the flowers to her sister.
The only chcoclates she's ever given me was a box she won in a raffle but doesn't like.
I only buy the wine because the stuff she buys is vinnegar.
Home cooked food obviously doesnt have enough MSG in it for her tastes.
She took me on a date to wetherspoons.
Her idea of a romantic weekend away is a Sun £9.50 holiday.
I'm trying my best to convince her that Paris (or anywhere else on the planet) would be a nicer place to spend my days off than sharing the air with council estate scum in March in a seaside resort that probably shut up shop at that time of year anyway.
And to top it all she's hot'n'cold more often than my radiator!
Romance? What's the f****** point?
The trick is to buy flowers when you haven't done anything wrong.
And as far as the rest of it goes, you just need to work out what she'd like - but without her telling you - and do it.
Don't take advice on romance from me though, I'm married!
non-spoon, other women are available...
I did know one couple quite well where he hadn't bought her any flowers in 20 years of living together on the basis that 'it would set a precedent'.
He thought this was dreadfully funny but she always got a slightly hurt look in her eyes when the subject came up 🙁
Grrrr, half the problem I recon is because I have set a precedent, now if ever I dont pay for something, dont cook, dont have plans for the weekend, dont want to see her 24/7 I get could shouldered for weeks!
Last nights winge (allong with the whole sun £9.50 holliday saga) was that I'm more house proud at my house than her's. Wow suprisingly enough, as my house isn't actualy a bulding site (her kitchen hasn't been a kitchen in the 4 months we've been together and looks like its been in bits a long time before that) I'm slightly more inclined not to take my shoes off for fear of getting a nail through my foot.
it's your choice to be with her
thisisnotaspoon - Member
in the 4 months we've been together
You're thinking this after only 4 months?
Does it feel like a match made in heaven?
I always thought flowers were a daft thing, however last year I didn;t get my girlfriend any, she was not happy, even though I took her out for the day, and paid for a nice meal. Just goes to show that simple things are better (and cheaper 🙄 )
She must be a looker then, eh Spoony?
OP - good question. It's not an easy one to answer. Guess it's a bit like that old chestnut of 'what is love'...you knows it, but putting it into words is something else completely!
Personally, romance is definitely not about being given gifts (unless there has been real thought behind them) (or it's a new DH bike 😛 ).
It's more about being made to feel wanted....so to be grabbed and kissed passionately in public, brought a cup of tea in bed in the morning, being allowed to be who I am without criticism....that's romance for me.
"2. after coming back from a day in the hills both freezing cold and knackered, collapsed on the sofa. Totall totally exhausted. The guy had hurt his leg so was really crippled, but still got up ran a bath for me, brought me a glass of wine, washed my hair, then left me in peace!"
If he had really hurt his leg properly this is stupidity not romance. Expect a man a man to serve you when he's really in pain is plain selfish if you ask me.
southern yeti - first one I finished, second one is an occasional long-distance thing.
jon - that's why it was romantic 😉 And I had done enough for him in the preceeding days
Anyway, again - romance is the unexpected (thoughtful) gestures to me. Money/cost is not at all a factor.
sku98rkr - I had already got him ice packs etc. And I didn't ask him to do it!
Despite expensive jewelry, the offer of a DH bike (I got a slap)and a vacum cleaner one Valentine's day (another slap, but she got more jewelry and a naked chef to greet her home from work) amongst other things. The most romantic thing my ex reckoned I ever did was preparing her a xmas stocking with just random little cheap things in it... hair bands and the like, I guess I'd listened to her over a period of months and actually absorbed what she was saying.
jon - that's why it was romantic And I had done enough for him in the preceeding days
How is it romantic situation if the upshot of it all is him buggering off and leaving you in piece to enjoy a glass of wine on your own 😉
I jest. Slightly.
jon........ she finished it?!
I think smaller things can be just as romantic as big gestures.... Ask Satsoma 😉
whilst attempting (and failing) to save my marriage I read a few relationship type books
a common theme seems to be that people have a different ideas about what constitutes "love and attention" from their partner - so I guess romance
some like sex, others gifts, others "service" or "acts of kindness", others talking and one to one attention.
Where you get problems is where one person is always buying gifts and flowers for their other half , as this is their idea of how to show someone you love them. But the other half just wants to talk - and barely registers or appreciates the gifts as tokens of love.
Being romantic means thinking about the best possible things in life and not letting the everyday drag you down. Being romantic with someone means focusing on the things they like and doing stuff for them. Not just so you can get brownie points, but because you love them and want to be nice.
And it's not always flowers/chocolates/holidays, although it could be. It's whatever that person needs at that time.
+1 for grievoustim. Last weekend me and the Mrs lay in bed for an hour and a half talking whilst the nipper slept. Made a big difference to the Mrs' state of mind.. cheered her up no end after a load of tribulations 🙂
after coming back from a day in the hills both freezing cold and knackered, collapsed on the sofa. Totally totally exhausted. The guy had hurt his leg so was really crippled, but still got up ran a bath for me, brought me a glass of wine, washed my hair.....
Wow, sounds like a keeper
then left me in peace
EPIC FAIL
What you interpret as being left alone was him lying on the bed upstairs waiting for you to appear and compensate for all that ikky lovey stuff by doing things that only appear on the expert pages of ancient oriental texts. In the end he had to knock one out while thinking of Kylie, and then move to the other end of the country to avoid you!!
The most romantic thing I ever did on account of somebody else was to completely self-destruct. 😕
jon........ she finished it?!
and...?