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[Closed] Thinking about starting online dating. Tell me your stories!

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Conversely if a girl on tinder didn’t have at least one pic of her in outdoor clothes on top of a mountain I wouldn’t be interested

+1

My wife (to be) had a pic of her on top of Ben Nevis in outdoor clothes. Had she not had at least one outdoorsy pic, I wouldn't have bothered contacting her....

To echo someone above, use the sites for initial contact only, very quick filtering on the profile, a couple of messages, then ask to meet. Simple as that. Terrifying to start with, but then a lot of fun and my confidence developed massively.

+1

I started off with the mindset this was like a job interview and I needed interview practice, so I'll go on loads of dates just to build my confidence / work on technique etc. If I happen to enjoy the dates, then that would be a bonus...


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 11:48 am
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My tinder profile simply read -

Some people see a mousetrap, I see free cheese & challenge...

It worked, far too well.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 11:50 am
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Some people see a mousetrap, I see free cheese & challenge…

Swipes right...


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 11:51 am
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Sorry, but for the horror stories I need more details, not just hints of the horrors!


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 11:58 am
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viewing my 25yo step daughters activity on tinder and other dating apps

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:08 pm
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Swipes right…

Been so long since I've been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:12 pm
 DezB
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Been so long since I’ve been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!

To tell the truth, I actually swiped UP on Perky 😉


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:23 pm
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Perky

You know it 😉


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:28 pm
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A profile that engages stands out - part of one lady’s offering a while back:

“The quiz below will determine your chances of making the elusive first date. If your answers match mine (or close), are witty, or show you to be as dynamic as Robert Downy Jr in Iron Man (obviously not the third one, which was pony), then you are in with a mighty fine shout.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>

1. It's a zombie apocalypse? What is your weapon of choice? For anything not readily available, please show your workings.

2. A tiger escapes from the zoo and runs at a busload of defenceless children. Exactly how heroic are you and how does that play out?

3. The best Bond movie is ...

4. Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Jack Bauer have a triple threat ladder match on Wrestlemania. Who wins and what is the winning move?

5. Which bear is best?

Please do not contact me without your 5 answers. It will be like trying to unlock a door which has a lock without having any keys. It is a sturdy door that cannot be opened any other way than by using five specific keys. There is no window or secret other way in.“

Plenty to talk about when one meets.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:33 pm
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1. Chuck Norris

2. Tigerskin pants

3. Goldfinger.

4. Chuck  - See answer 1

5. Nookie


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:41 pm
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Been so long since I’ve been on Tinder is that matching way or un-matching way?!

Never used Tinder so I have absolutely no idea!


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:41 pm
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Men want younger women like women want wealthier men

My wife is older than me and earns three times my salary. What does that say about me?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:48 pm
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I met my wife on Tinder.

I said, "what the bloody hell are you doing here?"


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 12:57 pm
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What does that say about me?

You are hung like a small shire horse?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:07 pm
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Well I've met a slightly older woman who's in a similar (well, hopefully better considering divorce obligations) financial state to me.

I put up a couple of pics, one on a mountain top with bikes in the background, one doing more normal things. I went on a few dates, generally swiping right in a fairly non-fussy way (fit = right, bikes/outdoorsy stuff mentioned and OK looking = right, >50% duckface/snapchat filters = left, every single photo a group = left). I didn't choose photos that didn't have me up mountains as whilst this might've got me more matches, they'd be the wrong sort of matches for me. You may be less obsessed with mountains and bikes and be prepared to have a nice pretty little lady that'll stay indoors and bake cakes for you and that sort of crap whilst being increasingly passive aggressive about the amount of time/money you allegedly spend on your bikes, but I've had enough of that crap!

To be honest, whilst I had a fairly low right swipe to match rate, my main problem was finding time to chat to women I'd matched with. I do have kids and work and hobbies though, you may find a different experience. Each time I went back on, it took around a week to get 1-2 women to see. Meeting up is a much better way of getting to know someone than relentless messaging.

Other online dating is available, but tinder is very convenient and is free.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:13 pm
 DezB
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What does that say about me?

That you use a pseudonym on the internet...


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:19 pm
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OKCupid is a good free site IMO/E.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:24 pm
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I hooked up with a woman in her 50's on Tinder.

She was really very fit for her age and we got on well. We ended up back at her place and after a bit of a fumble she asked me if I fancied some mother/daughter action. Well, did I? Yes of course I did (which man doesn't want the opportunity to disappoint two women at the same time).

She got up, went to the foot of her stairs and shouted "Motherrrrrrrr!!!!!"


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:27 pm
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Any pictures of a woman's children always got a swipe left (a no) from me.  Mention that you have children, but putting their photo on a dating app is just a bit weird in my mind.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:32 pm
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Mention that you have children, but putting their photo on a dating app is just a bit weird in my mind.

Also, be sure to mention that they are your world.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:34 pm
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Me kidz r me world


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:48 pm
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1. why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy

when I was younger I thought that a 5 year gap was normal, to account for women being more mature than men.

I'm 54, was 53 when using the dating apps.

My wife was 7 years younger than me which seemed about right for maturity levels and attitude.

My partner now is 7 years younger than me, also seems about right.

I also dated a 42 year old, she didn't seem younger than me though.

Any dates with anyone my own age seemed like I was dating someone from another generation.

So maybe it is just like for me, you figure out that there is not much point conversing with anyone of the same age.

There was a 25 year gap between my parents.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:54 pm
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My mate Ronnie met a girl on Tinder who invited him back to her flat for a threesome with her twin.

Apparently her brothers moustache was really tickly.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 1:55 pm
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Thanks to this thread I was just talking to the young lad at work during lunchtime there about how the dating scene works for him compared to when I was his age. He says that some of the more 'desirable' young ladies on tinder now demand money through another app before they will even respond to any messages! Apparently this is to show that the guys aren't cheap and will be worthy of hooking up with!

I don't envy him in the slightest tbh, some of the things he alluded to that goes on makes my heart sink.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:07 pm
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He says that some of the more ‘desirable’ young ladies on tinder now demand money through another app before they will even respond to any messages! Apparently this is to show that the guys aren’t cheap and will be worthy of hooking up with!

Prostitution is hardly a new development....


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:12 pm
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A lot of the women on these apps (tried POF, Match, Zoosk and Tinder) are exasperated with the whole dating thing and conversing/meeting with so many weird characters. They also get a ton of messages.

That I was considered pretty normal (and trustworthy) by my dates (some which lasted for a while) says a lot.

So don't try lines or similar when messaging, just be normal.

There are some women on there that are playing games - maybe for entertainment at the end of the day, but maybe not as many as men. POF particularly has a bad reputation for men.

Zoosk and Match were OK.

Tinder a bit strange as there is little profile information, but it is amusing if you pay for it and then you get to see who likes you - probably worth it as you may spot a good match that way as oppossed to just luck with when you log on.

And taking a train journey with a paid Tinder account is funny as you get likes coming in from the places your train is passing through.

Black-and-white messaging through WhatsApp/texting is fraught with danger as it is so 2d, so try and get a phone call or even video call asap. Or a call and a meeting.

Offering a photo of ID or similar for safety before a meet seems to be seen as weird, which seems strange considering the number of assaults from online meetups is rising fast.

And women also often expect to be 'swept away' or 'taken-aback' when they meet you, so if you are more of a grower then you may have to tell them to give you a few dates before judging you.

Online dating is addictive so if 3 dates work out delete your online accounts and get her to do the same, removes a lot of trust issues from both sides and is quite satisfying and a relief. So don't sign up for a year !

My partner had only just signed on to Zoosk and POF before I messaged her so she hadn't experienced a lot of this and the exasperation that some women have.

We've been together nearly 11 months now and she moved in 3 months ago. She recently bought a small dog and it lives here with my two cats 🙂

Useful guide to online dating behaviours here :

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/08/cushioning-breadcrumbing-benching-language-modern-dating

Amusing video here :


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:13 pm
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why are men always looking for women 10 years younger than they are, weird and more than little bit creepy

Hmm.. one of my sailing friends filters out anyone same age or younger, he normally goes for older women and at least ten years older.

Hes has plenty of “successful” dates, some of his choices have been stunning and well balanced and extremely interesting people. He’s dating someone now who is 11 years older, divorced and 2 kids who have flown the nest and she’s got a stunning 5bed house in the remote part of Sussex South Downs, and a disposable income far exceeding his..

I asked him what his criteria was, he said “solvent”

I admire him somewhat, if I was to go dating then I too would probably choose someone older.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:33 pm
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Had some fun. Only had one nightmare incident...

<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">She turns up. In real life she's a good 2 stone heavier than her profile pics but she's very pretty so I let it pass. She proceeds to get absolutely smashed. She almost starts a fight in the pub with another girl.</span>

She messages the next day and suggests the cinema the following evening. I give her the benefit of the doubt and say yes.

We go to the cinema, she's says virtually nothing before, during or after.

The next day I drop her a message to thank her for the date but I didn't feel a spark and wish her luck.

I then get bombarded with dozens of abusive messages. She's tries calling but I don't answer. She leaves a voicemail and it turns out she's outside my office building in tears. I block her messages and calls. I then start getting messages from fake profiles on the dating site which claim to be her friends but it's clearly her using aliases. They threaten me with all sorts including reporting me to the police.

I unblock her, message her and tell her to bugger off and leave me alone. Reblocked her and reported her to the dating site along with all the aliases and screenshots of the abuse.

That was 3 years ago. I'm sure she's probably in prison now for killing some poor bloke.

On the other had I met the current Mrs at the same time as that debacle and we've been together since with no problems


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:44 pm
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Useful guide to online dating behaviours here :

A whole world I know nothing about, thankfully!


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 2:45 pm
 DezB
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I don’t envy him in the slightest

I bloody do. You should see the over 50s on PoF! 😆


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:07 pm
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Met my now wife on PoF.

Comms -quick chats then set up lunchtime/late afternoon dates - that way you both have an "easy out" if it's a no-go, no excruciating long walks or dinner dates with people you don't like after 15mins.

As to pics - Yes @emsz I was one of those guys with nothing but outdoor pictures of me, cause that honestly represents how I like to spend my time and I wanted to meet someone who liked to do this also. Despite this I still got a lot of women messaging me who listed "shopping" and "socialising" as their favourite things to do.

Don't GAS about cars or exotic destinations and never have nor will do take a pic of my todger.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:07 pm
 emsz
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the outdoor clothing and mountain top thing. We figured it was the only place that blokes can get their buddies to take pictures of them without being all "bloke" about it (you bunch of repressed weirdos) or that every other photo of themselves  had their ex's in.

Bad dates: I went on a couple with a married woman, before I rumbled here as she'd forgotten to take off her ring, and I noticed (dur) and another where I "may" have been a bit drunk, and apparently I just stared at her tits all night. TBH 1. they were great boobs, and 2. I found out about it through FB, cause she was complaining about me being drunk and a bit starey..My advice, don't have great boobs and wear low cut tops...dur


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:18 pm
 DezB
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don’t have great boobs and wear low cut tops…

Bloody well asking for it eh?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:21 pm
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Why put something on display if you don't want others to look at it?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:24 pm
 emsz
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I know, right!

I mean your eyes just go there, you can't help it!


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:28 pm
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Mention that you have children, but putting their photo on a dating app is just a bit weird

Perhaps people do this to be 100% clear with potential matches that they have family to save future disappointments?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:29 pm
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"She turns up. In real life she’s a good 2 stone heavier than her profile pics but she’s very pretty so I let it pass"

Can't think why you were single....

Not dated for over 20 years and happily married but if I needed to get out there again, surely there are are shared interest sites now? i.e why do intelligent people use sites like tinder which arcording to my divorced mates is full of nutters or gold diggers - why not use a site that caters to sporty people or cultured people, doggy people etc Or do they not exist?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 3:38 pm
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I guess you haven't read this thread then winston?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:03 pm
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-45723960

Dating apps leading to STI increase.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:14 pm
 Nico
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Prostitution is hardly a new development….

How dare you! The correct word on STW is hooker.


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:30 pm
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Posted : 03/10/2018 4:34 pm
 DezB
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why do intelligent people use sites like tinder which arcording to my divorced mates is full of nutters or gold diggers – why not use a site that caters to sporty people or cultured people, doggy people etc Or do they not exist?

Cos tinder is free.

It's no more full of nutters than Match/Pof and no doubt, many of the others. There are ahem specialists sites, but it narrows down the options, hardly any are within 20 miles and ... you have to pay (stupid amounts). I always said, if I was going to pay to meet a woman, it'd have to be worth my while. And there are sites for that too. 😀


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:34 pm
 DezB
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rene59

Why put something on display if you don’t want others to look at it?


emsz

I know, right!
I mean your eyes just go there, you can’t help it!

Donald Trump quotes R us


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:37 pm
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My advice, don’t have great boobs and wear low cut tops…dur

Does this apply to moobs as well...?


 
Posted : 03/10/2018 4:38 pm
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Posted : 03/10/2018 4:41 pm
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