[Closed] The mental wellness thread

I'm actually extremely jealous of those people out there who aren't worried or scared scr@pless like me! My best mate doesn't worry about anything and he's cool as a cucumber with all this going on, he's barely even looking at the news. Where as I'm in the boat where I'm contemplating taking up either drugs or alcohol or even wondering whether it would be simply easier to end it all just to remove this awful feeling of terror constantly!!

I have been thinking of a way to start a thread like this but it keep evading me how to express my feelings right now. My wife is pregnant due to give birth in May, right in the middle of the projected shtistorm. She suffers from mental health anyway so it's not helping all this not knowing what is going on. On top of that we lost my dad last month and no1 was suffering with hand/foot/mouth during the funeral. Then he came down with ch'pox over the weekend. 4 years ago FIL had a heart attack the day we were leaving for our honeymoon so not new to crap situations but when will it end??? Also means he's high risk so unlikely to see the new addition until well after the birth. Feels like she'll be at uni by the time the inlaws will get to see her!!!

I can't help but wonder if suicide rates are going to be absolutely soar through the roof because of this. At least now when people say 'but what have you got to be sad about' there's something tangible to put our fingers on rather than trying to explain why it's not THAT simple.

I’ve given up social media just gain some sanity ,I suffer with anxiety and PTSD and feel like my mind was starting to spiral out of control with all the negativity I was seeing.it has helped a bit taking a step back ,I only read bbc news on my phone occasionally ( just to keep updated) .in a way I’m lucky as I’m a farmer so distant from the general public as it is .i know I’ve got to keep it together for the sake of my family,it’s ****in hard work but I’m trying. To anyone else out there struggling don’t give in .between us we can keep the black dog at bay .
Peace and much love
Neil

For me, this means I will be making more effort to interact with friends through text chats, calls and social media. Already set up a couple of groups on WhatsApp for people who get on - so we can interact - whether that’s talking about worries/anxieties, shooting the breeze or taking the piss. Probably a few gentle walks - where we can spend time together with family and friends at a bit of physical distance.

Obviously, I will be spending some time on here...

I'm absolutely crapping it too. Likelihood is the schools will close on Friday so that will mean 4 kids at home too. Everything else is already starting to close around us. Really don't need this on top of everything else, my anxiety and depression is really being tested at the moment. Really don't know how I'm going to get through this and keep my sanity.

Also prone to anxiety and depression. Not worried about me particularly, kids are healthy but a lot of their plans for this year - some of which they've been working on and training for for years - are unravelling for them.

Both sets of grandparents are at real risk, and kids are worried about them as well never having lost anyone close before. Real risk my wife could lose one or the other without seeing them properly again as they are 4 hours away and asked her not to travel.

Also very aware friends with businesses are at risk of losing everything, through no fault of their own.

Some poor sods are dealing with it on top of flooding and other recent problems too.

Taking the view I'm going to try and not get drawn into pointless disaster speculation, and try and be part of some sort of solution rather than the problem.

Yeah I'm really trying to avoid social media as well but then when you're trying to distance yourself from social interactions it seems the only place to go. Stripped out the bike room today to vacuum the whole place and paint one of the walls with the spare paint I had in. Trying to stay in contact with friends. If I receive 'the letter' I'll be moving in with my fella for the next 12 weeks, turning everything off in the flat, asking for a mortgage break and trying to ride the storm together.

As I’ve mentioned a few times in here I’ve been suffering worsening anxiety and panic attacks over the last 6 months and of course the current situation we’re all in is making it worse.
Bizarrely I’m not overly anxious about catching it, I’m more worried about (and I know this sounds selfish, but bear with me) having to do all the running around for my parents and my Nan, I hate being in busy shops, I hate being in a place or situation I can’t ‘escape’ from .... So standing in queues with much needed shopping in a busy store will bring in a panic attack.... Talking of my Nan she’s 95 and I’m worried for her, she’s 50 mins drive away in Shropshire on her own.. I’m also worrying about work and money, I should be ok, but as the main company I work for is a care provider I’m worried about getting called in to help there (again that feeling trapped/being relied upon)...

I’m trying not to think about it, I’m trying to avoid the news and certain posts on here and FB, but unless you totally ditch anything digital it’s hard to escape it.

Will call prescription ordering line tomorrow as meds starting to run low, will ask if possible to get a double load of them to be on the safe side, I don’t want to run out!

Please don’t turn to booze or drugs, it’ll only make you worse..... I know that 3 pints for me will give me a nice buzz and take the edge off the anxiety I’m feeling but I’ll feel more anxious in the days after due to it.

Think the best thing we can do is just get outside biking or walking and try to enjoy the spring sights around us

Thanks for posting this thread

There probably isn't much I can say that's going to help you all. I do think that stress and worry aren't liable to change the outcome though, we being humans are more adaptable than we think we are. If I were to run out of some foods I'm sure I could get creative with whatever is leftover in the shops or at home. I'm hopeful that within a couple of weeks people will see a steady supply of food and run out of excitement for buying it all at once!

I don't have kids to look after or entertain, or even reassure during all this though, so perhaps that helps!

Depression and anxiety here too. Ok on the depression front but anxiety intermittently through the roof. Understandable in the current circumstances I guess.

Self employed in tourism along with my wife so not ideal time for that either. To say the least.

I’ve binned social media as per posts above too and that’s definitely helped. Keeping in touch with loads of mates via phone/text/messenger which is really helping to support each other. News twice a day briefly to get the latest updates as well as I can. Talking constantly to my wife has been great. Also being with the kids too.

Panic rises intermittently now and again and I can actually taste it. I feel like we are being scraped bare and it’s not long before we are all back to primeval beings.

It’s tough all round, some terrible experiences above. We will all get through this somehow. Some great community work going on round here (Glencoe) with the village being divided up into smaller areas so one or two people can knock vulnerable doors and make sure people are ok for meds/food/distance chat etc.

Keep talking folks.

TS x

My thoughts,

Never be afraid to ask for help. Someone is always going to have your back - it can be the most unexpected people.

Social media / TV / Radio is good but manage your exposure - try to avoid shouty / passionate 'debates'. It's where you live - keep it on the up on rather than on the down.

Explore the world around you - which is probably going to be online. I've got a thing for 360 drone landscape shots at the moment. Generally I think there are going to be a lot of people who figure out other people dont want shouty they do want nice. I'm in one FB group for a place that has asked for members to keep the group as virus free as possible. There will be others - it'll be worth seeking them out. Again it's about minimising the shouty exposure.

Forgot to add above, mindfulness has been really good for me as well as keeping busy at work. Busy today cleaning, ironing, doing emails and mostly cancellations (not so good). Better for me to be constructive than sit and ruminate.

I might use this thread to have a rant, but in the meantime, the only single virus related page I’ve seen anywhere that made any sense to me was
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51873799

Especially the WHO tweet.

And anyone who is spreading fear and causing people anxiety can go **** themselves. Especially the posters on that big thread on here, most of whom I thought had an iota of intelligence, but I’m strongly doubting that now. Shit the rant has started...sorry.
And I’m incredulous that we’re supposed to take advice from that utter buffoon the morons in this country voted into power.
Isolation? I’ve never felt more separate from the rest of society as I have done for the past few weeks.

My wife is pregnant due to give birth in May, right in the middle of the projected shtistorm

Wow, that's rough. Still, at least it gives you time to practise your catching position, and try out the home paddling pool in case you have to do the heavy lifting... 😉

Great idea for a thread; it was one of the first things I thought of when companies started announcing widespread wfh, and as Italy went into lockdown. Not seeing people, not being able to go to the pub (or office), and biking being something of a grey zone, are all ingredients of depression and struggling.

Good call starting this thread.

FWIW I guess the people being angry about it on that other thread and on social media generally are expressing their own anxiety and lack of control.

I've been writing and editing articles about dealing with this situation while having to self isolate with certain symptoms (but not others) and feeling like shit warmed up.

Not ideal but I'm just trying to feel grateful that I have a job and (most of) my health.

Going to be talking to a clinical psychologist colleague to put together some advice, but it's equally useful reading people's coping strategies here.

DezB - stop reading! Easier said than done but once I binned the material that was causing me to feel like you sound now it really helped. Everyone is scared but we can help each other.

Please bear in mind that Coronavirus is not deadly any more than current similar Viruses.  Life will go on, it’ll just be slightly different for a bit as we adjust.  We may all miss a few holidays, have to work from home and adjust our diets, activities and give / receive a little more support to each other in the meantime.

Perform your daily activities with a calm aire, you’ll be ok their really is no reason to panic.

cheers tartanscarf - yeah I stopped reading days ago. I’m not scared, just really annoyed! Stopping reading doesn’t stop the annoyance though, as theres no escaping the paranoia, panic and scaremongering garbage - especially when you have to work from home because of it all.

I stopped social media for a few weeks whilst dealing with an injury and sorting a bout of depression.
It's helped massively and although I'm back on social media I've turned off notifications so I only look at it when I feel like it instead of feeling obliged every time my phone pings.

Also on a couple of group chats on messenger and WhatsApp. Good for a bit of banter and also checking that everyone is ok.

<raises hand>
Anxiety sufferer here, control-related issues as well. I've been trying to resolve the dichotomy that online and the media are leading us to believe the world is ending, yet as soon as I leave the house it's like nothing is out of the ordinary (empty supermarket shelves notwithstanding) - the lack of correlation between the two is really messing with my brain.

On top of that, my 70yo father has only recently had prostate cancer surgery and is due to start 7 weeks of radiotherapy in May. Neither he, nor my siblings, seem to be taking the gravity of the situation seriously but my OH lost both her father and younger brother to cancer so naturally she's frustrated that they're not realising that he could really be at risk. I know he doesn't want to have to change his life, and I completely understand him not wanting to feel old or like an invalid as he's never been ill apart from this.

Plus I'm due to be starting a new job in a new industry at the start of May and don't know what the new place's plans regarding the economical outlook are.

Just feel really helpless and don't know what to do, and I'm driving my OH mad with it!

I have had crippling anxiety in the past, barely able to leave the house at its worse, the focus had always been that I would get an unspecified disease that would stop me doing things I enjoy. Needless to say with the current situation, after a few years with minimal anxiety I am spiralling back into the way I used to feel. I've probably washed my hands 50 times today despite being on my own at home.

The uncertainty feels brutal, Hopefully as things progress we'll get a bit more clarity and that will help a lot of people.

Good thread, it's reassuring to know other people feel similar. One thing at least is that in the past 5-10 years people are much more accepting of these sorts of issues, it felt quite cathartic writing the first paragraph- no way I could have done that in the past

DezB - that happens to me too. It’s an all encompassing spiral of fear/panic/anger. My wife for 1 doesn’t get it at all but she does listen. I can see working from home doesn’t help. At least when I’m onsite preparing for guests who are not going to arrive I’m
actively doing something. And then I remember they’re going to cancel and I might be bankrupt soon. Sounds so much better when I write it down. 😳. Sorry, probably didn’t help much!

Yay for Depression and Anxiety, two sides of a very bitter coin!

I’m okay at the moment, firstly because I’ve got something real and ‘known’ to worry about. I know everything I’m likely to ever know about the virus and what it’s going to do to us at home if it comes.

Secondly because I’m very, very busy. I’m mostly working from home - I start about 7am today, stopped to do the school run and get some food as we were pretty much out (that wasn’t a happy time) worked till 5pm at home and then went to the office to take-over from the boss to try to get what might be the last batch of Hardware I ordered for clients set up. Only about half what I ordered arrived. The rest might come tomorrow, or maybe it won’t, that’s out of my control.

I’ll be dead busy again tomorrow and possibly Wednesday...

This where the fear comes. I suspect Thursday will be quiet and I’ll be at home, alone, with too much time to think.

I suspect come the weekend I’ll have two bored kids to join me. I love them dearly but when they’re bored like any kids they’re a nightmare and trying to WFH with bored kids is stressful.

My wife is frontline NHS and being fitted for PPE kit tomorrow to care for Coronavirus sufferers at home. With all the care in the world, there’s a decent chance we’ll get it. I’ve had flu twice, noravirus and every cold known to man in the last couple of years. So that’ll be fun.

More than anything though, it’s the economic stuff that’s giving me the fear. My only hope is I worked in banking through 9/11 and the Credit Crunch. 9/11 was hard, but it felt the world pulled together and it was short and over quickly. The Credit crunch we fell apart and it was long and harsh. Let’s see how this pans out.

I used to be fine
Now I'm really not. Scored a full house on the NHS online 'Are you suffering from depression?' questionaire
Tried to book a counciling session but the website for my area but it doesnt list my GP practise so that was a fail
plus I have a feeling like I'm getting ill today .- cold , stiff, sore throat , cramp in legs and achey joints and old injuries I am effectively redundant at work, with my presance only needed for 1 day next week, and maybe 1 morning a week for the next 3- 4 mths
I am a lucky boy to be able to sit at home for a few years and live off my savings but for various reasons I am dreading that and need to not be at home

My anxiety and depression is running rampant right now, so much going on that I have no control over. It's been a constant stream of issues since Christmas and that is on top of a terrible 2019. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep until it's all over but that's the worst thing I could do right now. Just been to see my parents and it is scaring the crap out of me that, as they are both in very poor health and I'm pretty much guaranteed to get the virus through work sooner rather than later, it could possibly be the last time I see them for a few weeks if not longer.

Will keep an eye on this thread and chip in when I can, could be a lifeline for me and others so great it's been started OP.

I generally use a common sense rule of thumb when it comes to threads on the forum. I judge by the title whether it's worth me reading them or not which means a lot of the threads I've avoided already because they will just scare me more whether it's factual or not.

I'm back to work tomorrow after 111 advised staying at home for monday and tuesday and that's got my anxiety peaked atm seeing as I'm still new in post within 6 months probation and another new person started on monday who is supposed to share my role and I heard he has some experience with the systems already which makes me feel like I have to sod my health just to try to keep my job and stay ahead of the game. But I also have a real worry that I'll receive this letter over the weekend. I've no idea what the Uni will do if I say I have to stay home for 12 weeks. Will they support working from home or will it be a case of sick leave. What will they do as a company when the pressure is on to turn the students away until after Easter.

I've started to be mindful of what I'm eating at home to try to cut back because I'll need to afford to eat if there's even stuff on the shelves to buy. But I'm not exactly huge already so then I have the anxiety that I'm going to become ill because I won't be able to eat.

This is a good thread to vent without idiots joining in and mocking us or trying to explain the panic to friends.

My anxiety levels are really high atm.
No work (I'm self employed), worrying about elderly relatives and being a control freak is not helping.

However: Going outside in some green space (park/garden/countryside) everyday is a must.
Doing some form of exercise, atm I have a turbo trainer set up, this overlooks our bird feeders in the garden,
Been doing some baking and cooking to try and fill the freezer,
Been bird watching and jotting down all the types on and around our feeders,
Using whatsapp to stay in touch with friends and family.
Watching jolly things on the telly Frasier on atm, (ignoring the canned laughter) its good.
I'm lucky because hubby is wfh and knowing someone else is in the house is great.
Doctor on the telly also mentioned deep breathing. In for 5, holding for 4, slowly out for 3. This really does work.

Please use this thread to voice your concerns. It's important to know someone is out there reading and feeling in the same boat.

I've suffered occasionally with slightly depressive thoughts, not badly like some but I guess I'd tag them with "feeling a bit down and lonely"

My reaction is to go running, and put some bloody effort into it.

This is a great opportunity to assess what suits you best, enables you to cope through this current madness we all feel at some level.

#runeveryday

this turbulent times have given me IBS which i haven’t had for decades, even though i don’t feel super stressed (apart from last 2 weeks with a parter self isolating with flu who eventually got the all clear) there is the underlying worry and scenario building of possible cataclysmic outcomes which i guess a lot of people do.

not one for motivation posters and facebook memes but this struck a chord with me when i read it yesterday

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I've just spent about half an hour on the phone reassuring my Hungarian agent who is aged about 64, that she isn't going to die. What I didn't say was that the same might not be true for her husband who is much older and has a terrible chest after a lifetime of smoking.

The poor woman is absolutely worried sick, which fits with what my sister (a senior nurse) is saying; that there will be an increase in phobias and neuroses and possibly even the domestic murder rate. My agent says that Hungarian hospitals are not thought to be ready to deal with an emergency especially as all the doctors and nurses have gone to work in the UK. Oops.

Well I’m in work and turns out the new guy lasted one day and decided it ‘wasn’t for him’. He must have a pretty nice home life right now to decide he doesn’t need a job! But hey silver lining for me that has reduced some anxiety today. I’m on the priority list to be issued a work laptop to enable me to go home as well so that’s positive. It’s food for me that’s cause underlying hysteria currently. People going to the canteen and coming back with bottles of pop and I’m sitting thinking of god don’t eat that chocolate bar, save it because you may need it. A colleague is going to an Asian warehouse later so I’ve asked her to check for pasta for me. People seem to be going to the supermarkets at every single opportunity and I’m thinking I should too but I’m not desperate for stuff so trying not to make my panic worse and so far I’ve not gone in a bid to stay clear from people too.

And anyone who is spreading fear and causing people anxiety can go **** themselves. Especially the posters on that big thread on here,

Lots of 👍👍👍 for that comment, I've read the odd few pages then just had to stop reading and close it!

I’m actually extremely jealous of those people out there who aren’t worried or scared scr@pless like me! My best mate doesn’t worry about anything and he’s cool as a cucumber with all this going on, he’s barely even looking at the news.

That was me until my mum phoned late last night to tell me that my dad had just been taken to hospital and he'd had a heart attack, he's in his 70's!

Natural reaction is wanting to be with him but had to think about the possibility of having this virus without knowing so no way I'm risking the chance of passing anything on to him or anyone else in there. I know it's the right thing to do but its flipping tough 🙁

Just had to get that out my system. Genuinely feel sorry for anyone with anxiety issues or depression in these times, can't imagine how tough things are for you.

Look after yourself, I am in Spain so day 5 of lockdown. As its looking increasingly likely uk will follow you should prepare yourselves.

We are effectively under house arrest, you can drive to the shop with one person per car, walk a dog and that's it. Schools are shut.

So tips to survive...if you don't have a dog

Get a shopping trolley, the sort with wheels pensioners have. You can then walk the long way to the supermarket. My mates doing 8km per day.

Failing that, a recycling bag, i do the extended bin run twice daily.

Food wise make up a huge stock from bones from a butcher. C 8 hours simmering, freeze in 1 litre containers. Good base for all meals or just drink on its own. If you do get ill the stock is a good meal substitute.

There are still people acting irresponsibly so avoid them, shop locally in small shops that know you...farm shops, bakeries etc. I only go to this sort of place anyway so no change.

Good luck all round, protect yourselves, keep active and avoid others.

Shame really, you’d think you could come on this site for a bit of community spirit, it usually does feel like a type of community to me. But you get about a dozen ****ing threads glaring at you from the forum and even in this thread, scaremongering shit like the above. Every company you’ve ever bought stuff from thinks they have to email you the same information as everyone else, so you get spammed with it too. Logging off for a while.

My anxiety has been pinging around all over the place, got out for a run this morning which helped a bit
Worked from home today but wasn't the most productive day. Got a few things done, but really used it as a day to unwind a bit. I work in an estates department so we've got a lot to do as our organisation winds down to bare minimum. I still need to study on my masters too as i have upcoming hand in dates
My parents are both very high risk due to underlying conditions, i have asthma and a poor immune system so not only do i have work and studying stress, i'm worrying about them and myself
Urgh

That's me out of the other thread as it's disappeared right down the ffing rabbit hole.
Scare stories, paranoia, uninformed speculation, a couple of posters with scientific background, Drac providing a voice of reason as counterpoint to some of the bollocks.
Until this week I thought emma barnett was a competent broadcaster based on her 5live programme; since monday she has done little but invite listeners to join her in a sea of doom and despair - pathetic.
Tomorrow, I will be talking with the local council about setting up a community support group with a focus on elderly and others who are self-isolating.
Will post any updates about how that progresses.

By accident I've found having various things on the go is a great distraction. We've been isolated since last Wednesday, unsure whether my wife has symptoms. I have on the go:
Occasional loud music, often reggae to encourage a little dance and sing
Regular background music eg R6
10kg dumbbells for the odd rep
A wood sculpture of my grandson
A powerpoint being made and recorded on a painting (involving a camera, two laptops, books etc)
Crosswords
Garden needing some attention
Housework tasks
Unfinished books
Finding any excuse to stand up, sit down, go upstairs
Noticing simple things more like a hot shower or the fresh air outside
I find myself unconsciously moving between activities can help deflect many unwelcome thoughts. Talking to friends who caught it picking up their daughter from university and reading the infected thread here have all been a bit reassuring.
I think it's important to not get demoralised, keep busy and keep your clothes fresh and ironed, eat properly (I notice my appetite waning), have a range of activities on the go. If things get really distracting, try going to sleep with eg R4 on low. Apologies if this comes across as a bit simplistic, but it has made a positive difference.

One of the good things I'm seeing is people buying fresh produce (from our local butcher, baker and greengrocer) and they are actually cooking food from scratch.
This can only be a good thing for the nation's health.

We should have an 'easy recipe' swapping thread.

Chins up everyone. I've stopped watching too much news.

I only look at the BBC News site twice a day now - first thing when I switch my work laptop on and after dinner.
Went to check on my Dad yesterday and he has the news channels on constantly - that would do my head in......
Myself and the wife have had a chat this morning about making sure we make a point of getting us and the kids to do some exercise - even if its taking the dog for a walk or getting daughter to practice her dance routines.
Will be looking to utilise the common at the back of the house a bit more too and get out on the bike for an hour or so if I can.

My biggest issue right now is dealing with having to not see my parents for the next few weeks. Should see them over this weekend for a bit as I'm going down to start clearing their garden after the floods (they're living with a family friend 1/2 mile away) but once my week's holiday finishes on Tuesday I'm going to have to be sensible and not see them. Work means I'll come into contact with so many people that it'll be silly to expose them to that kind of risk. While I'll be able to speak to them on the phone it's no substitution for face-to-face where they can't hide any issues from me, for which they both have form in doing!

Plenty of bike rides and boxset bingeing for me for a while.

I'm back in my office today and the engineers in here are such a bunch of misserable ****t's it's really causing me problems.
The 'I'm alright jack' mentality and complete lack of understanding what herd immunity and social distancing actually means is really worrying.
I'll have to be in and out the office going forward, but these guys will be in all the time to make sure nothing falls apart during shutdown.
You'd think with how serious this all is that maybe them sitting round the office pontificating and not doing any f'ing work at all would be admonished...

a bit of a mess here at the beginning of the week.
whf productivity is pretty low due to now having a full house and worrying about more important wtf is going to happen. the stress of the unknown, the stress of wondering how I'm going to look after my family whist not knowing the challenges we'll face. the shite mixed messages coming from out pathetic government.

I now feel like im getting a bit more on top of it, the nicer weather is helping, a 30 mins run last night was crazy good, felt ace afterwards (i am not a runner).
Need to get better sleep now and limit the self medication.
Dont listen to talk radio or the news all the time, that's helping no-one.

Hang there people

https://www.headspace.com/covid-19?fbclid=IwAR1meSXhOPlYa3OEMlRGqURWf-rJtUi7wBtLKAcfn4ybwmJRqrOZ4faVNG8

Well worth giving meditation a go. I find it works. I was sceptical but had nothing to lose.

I think of it like doing a hard downhill run or killer climb. Your totally focused in the moment and so everything else is forgotten. This gives you a chance to hit reset and stop all the racing thoughts going through your head. The advantage of meditation is that it is rare you f all off and break yourself.