Words on screens led to folk trying to attack a hotel filled with people.
"Hurty" words on screens have led to jail time.
You are playing the victim, theotherjonv. You are very provocative at times and fully aware of it as you tend to start threads with things like "Not wanting to start and argument but I suspect I will" followed with a prejudiced rant about someone you present as a stereotypical foreigner. That's on a forum with a happy bunch of expat and immigrant members, like me. So you rant away and play the victim when those targetted fight back.
To other people on here we are the sum of our posting history, it's in that context that we should be evaluating other members' reactions to us.
Absolutely certain TJagain. I wasn't going to link it but as you doubt me:
https://singletrackworld.com/forum/off-topic/is-being-foreign-a-protected-characteristic/
Given how I felt I think you'll find my contributions to that thread are quite calm, TJagain.
I'll let it drop there mods, but the lack of self-awareness of some on this thread is irritating. I had that troll tag for years and I one thing my STW persona definitely doesn't lack is self-awareness, or awareness of what others are doing knowingly or obliviously.
The pub analogy has been mentioned a few times. In a pub, non-verbal contributors in a group conversation would nod along, shrug their shoulders or shake their heads.
I for one wouldn't like to see a load of emoticons adding to the site, but what's the reason why so many forums including this one have upvotes, but no downvotes for those who don't want to take time to write out a reply? I think they'd help some posters read the room a lot better...
----------------------
Wow. I knew there was a reason you don't like me but I didn't realise it stems from one thread from 4.5 years ago. Which having briefly skimmed, I'm still surprised about, even you said from a 'provocative' opening statement it was a reasonable question and debate IIRC
It's not just one thread, theotherjonv. You can please some people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. On a forum with hundreds of contributors with people from different backgrounds, cultures, religions, countries there will be people you share values with and other less so. There are members on here (whom I'll spare the embarrassment) that generally post stuff I find interesting and often agree with, others less so. For other people it will be a different set of members they feel more or less affinity with.
You can't/don't have to get on with everyone but as on that thread I linked you can keep it civil which we did.
Hopefully the forum is better for having us both around with our diverse views. Just because some randoms on the Internet don't always like what you type it doesn't mean you aren't welcome. Well that's what I work on. 😉
Well, thanks for the honesty and I'm mortified if it's something I do regularly enough to be a problem, but I really am struggling to see where and consequently what I need to do differently. But I'll bear it in mind in future.
You're right - there are plenty on here that I disagree with but on a civil level. You included; you and Madame hold some views (and I accept completely your right to hold them) that I find impossible to accept. That is not the issue.
Just because some randoms on the Internet don't always like what you type it doesn't mean you aren't welcome.
You say that, I no longer feel welcome - or rather, I keep getting 'invited back in' so they can continue the goading, and I'm not up for that.
Jonv - it takes two to tango and although I have clashed with you a wee bit I view you as one of the good ones partly because you gently let me know I had upset you rather than attacking
Guys - can we get this back off the personal?
I arranged to have it appear ilke that. My power and influence around here is virtually limitless
Wait, there's more than one cabal secretly controlling the forum?
If there's a schedule can we see it in advance? I'd prefer to only post when the joyless taliban is in charge.
My suggestion is that if you believe in it then own what you say, there's no need to be mortified or feel victimised. And consider that most other people aren't goading they're just expressing their views. Some will goad, Morecashthandash is doing it to me on the 6 thread right now and my reply was "----------------". Sometimes there's a school playground aspect to it with a number of kids ganging up, less than there used to be though. The "banter" that some are so nostagic about was shallow and unpleasant at times. When the target of it I took the view that people were revealing more about themselves than about me. I sometimes felt I was holding up a mirror to them but some of them didn't want to look in it. I rarely find the need to do that these days.
And if you have a happy life and this place doesn't make it happier then just take a breath of air outside, but leave the door open.
I'm off to walk to the DIY store. All the best to all of you.
I'd prefer to only post when the joyless taliban is in charge.
Don't hold your breath. The chances of them reforming after that mix up when they appeared on the same bill as Girlschool at Donington in '87 are pretty slim.
I'd prefer to only post when the joyless taliban is in charge.
I think their stoic nature gives them a bad rep.
Look at them living their best life, oppressing women and sending it large in paddle boats.
Joyless? I think not.
For what my opinion is worth, whilst I've said repeatedly that I'm bad at tracking names, Otherjonv is a name I recognise of course but it's never 'pinged' sufficiently for me to go "oh FFS, it's him again." The thread cited above seemed a reasonable question to me. We shouldn't be shying away from discussing difficult subjects.
Edukator's "troll" tag was a joke that went on far too long IMHO. It would've been (arguably) funny for a couple of days. Point of note here, the Moderators have no access to those tags so they weren't able to change it back. It was part of the subscription engine I think?
My suggestion is that if you believe in it then own what you say, there's no need to be mortified or feel victimised.
That's advice like 'ignore it, it's just words' - it's a personality flaw but I do care about what people think so if I'm regularly annoying people then I want to adjust; even if my opinion doesn't change, how I present it can. It cuts both ways. There's some stuff I've written in the past and not posted for that reason, knowing what I want to say but then tempering with how it makes ME look and the effect it may have on others. Even when being quite direct like I have here, I have not specifically targeted comments at anyone except you and that was in direct response to what you wrote.
And consider that most other people aren't goading they're just expressing their views.
Correct - most. There's a small, but loud minority who are most definitely goading, including on this thread, with a disproportionate impact.
Look at them living their best life, oppressing women and sending it large in paddle boats.
I always wondered what "coming over here in small boats" looked like. That's a brave endeavour.
It's been a dry spring for sure, but I've never seen the hills above Eastbourne that brown.
On the subject of self awareness, I've been having a think about why I get so annoyed by un-directed observations/insults as it seems to not be something anyone else has a problem with.
I do struggle with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and when I step back and look at my reactions, I think what is happening is when I see something like, 'Some people on here are ****s' my brain interprets that as 'BruceWee is a ****.'
I guess normal people wouldn't want to hang about somewhere where they felt like they were being called a **** constantly but my dopamine deprived brain actually gets a kick out of it as the conflict provides stimulation and my brain relishes the chance to thrash it out with someone who seem like they want to argue.
Obviously many times these statements aren't even directed at me although sometimes they might be and sometimes they definitely are which makes distinguishing them even harder.
For those of you thinking, 'Is BruceWee just describing ADHD symptoms?', to you I say yes. After getting misdiagnosed as Bipolar and then getting most likely misdiagnosed again with Borderline Personality Disorder I think we are now finally getting to the actual problem which is a lifetime of undiagnosed ADHD.
Someone was asking earlier if I was OK because I seemed to be reacting aggressively to everything. I was confused because I've honestly been doing better lately than I have in a long time. Maybe ever.
If I have been posting more aggressively recently then one possibility is that there are more undirected insults being used on the forum. And of course, I'm interpreting these sub-conciously (and sometimes conciously) as being directed at me to which my brain thinks, 'Consenting adults want to argue with me. Let's go!'
Saying all that, even though my reaction is extreme, undirected insults and negative observations aren't pleasant for anyone. They do always leave the possibility that you are being included in the out group and I really don't think that creates a pleasant atmosphere for anyone.
So, if you want to call someone a ****, just say, 'STWuser, I think you are a ****' rather than, 'Some STWusers are ****s.'
Or, you know, just don't call anyone a ****?
TLDR: It's not me, it's you 😉
Interesting post Brucewee
Saying all that, even though my reaction is extreme, undirected insults and negative observations aren't pleasant for anyone. They do always leave the possibility that you are being included in the out group and I really don't think that creates a pleasant atmosphere for anyone.
I think you are still overthinking this aspect tho. I do not think it true that there is an in and an out group at all - instead the forum splits along many messy lines and differntly on differnt topics
However overall I am grateful you have been thinking about the overreaction you sometimes have
As i said I had to sit and take it when folk pointed out I had upset them when I had no idea I had. Hard to take
Things are different for sure, dunno about dying. I'm not generally fussy about the forum detail, I don't mind ads or layout choices etc but it has to work properly, it's become hard work to put up with the recent forum quirks. That seems to have coincided with forum drift which can quickly become a vicious circle.
The modding is pretty dire, it's barely fit for purpose tbh and it just hasn't moved with the times. I also think it's biased which definitely hampers engagement.
I think you are still overthinking this aspect tho. I do not think it true that there is an in and an out group at all - instead the forum splits along many messy lines and differntly on differnt topics
I wasn't talking about an actual in group and out group. It's just whenever someone says, 'Some people here...' I think many people have at least a moment of doubt where they think, 'Wait, are they talking about me?'
I really don't see how these kind of statements can provide anything positive for the forum, and much more likely they are adding to the negative experience.
But yeah, it could be it's negligible for the vast majority.
However overall I am grateful you have been thinking about the overreaction you sometimes have
As i said I had to sit and take it when folk pointed out I had upset them when I had no idea I had. Hard to take
Oh no, I have no plans to change my posting style. No, I will just expect everyone else to accommodate me and I will blame and berate you all whenever anyone fails to do so.
Great talk, guys. Looking forward to being much much more active on here in the future 😉
I think what is happening is when I see something like, 'Some people on here are *s' my brain interprets that as 'BruceWee is a *.'
It's almost certainly more common than you'd like to think. I have an anecdote here, but I have to go out. I'll try to remember to come back later.
The modding is pretty dire, it's barely fit for purpose tbh and it just hasn't moved with the times. I also think it's biased which definitely hampers engagement.
Can you elaborate? I honestly don't recognise any of that at all.
The modding is if I understand properly mainly reactive ie the mods cannot read every post so unless someone reports a post it will not be modded. so sometimes stuff stays up that seems worse than stuff that gets deleted.
Its just a function of the way the modding works
As an example - I read a highly offensive but funny joke on here. I while later I posted it on a thread. I got a ban for it. presumably the first instance was not reported but the time I told it was. Looks like inconsistent moderation but actually just a quirk of reactive moderation
Everyone's a ** in some other **'s view
Forum seems quicker since the update and now I'm used to the layout I can't say anything really annoys me?
Very similar discussion going on over at Retrobike but it has before and will again. That place seems to ebb and flow with all predictions of doom being proved false as a bunch of new people appear and the forum picks up again. Both sites are probably past their heyday but there's still plenty that brings me back, providing I avoid the political threads! 😆
On a tangent - is the “Topic overview” new? I just noticed it for the first time. Or maybe I’m just blind…
So, have we established whether the forum is dead or dying yet?
So, have we established whether the forum is dead or dying yet?
It certainly smells funny.
So, have we established whether the forum is dead or dying yet?
worried your three months here will have been wasted? Or have you really been here longer than that?
Having skim read the last few pages, the reasons given on the first couple pages for the demise of the forum appears to be demonstrating those perfectly .. and by the unnamed posters.
I would just like to move the thread in a different direction; namely the good things of the current forum. Whilst it became pretty clear when I first joined here that most people here, well the most frequent posters anyway, were not the most regular cyclists. There were other interesting topics to read.
The Ukraine thread was/is still the place I appear to get some of the best information and different perspectives from. And whilst the political threads are typically an echo chamber of little value - the one gem of value I always enjoy reading is that provided by ernielynch. Whilst I may not agree with all his views and opinions, I cant help but respect them in how he presents them .. and of course how he intelligently responds to the usual abuse thrown his way.
worried your three months here will have been wasted? Or have you really been here longer than that?
Eh?
And that last post of mine was just an attempted witty aside as it reads like a few people have got quite agitated on this thread in the last 24 hours. Not quite sure why the snappy rely, to be honest.
But it seems to be bad tempered thread in general now, so I'll take my leave of it.
👋
I've not posted on here much for a fair few months but that's not due to the forum, rather some positive and negative changes that have happened in my life recently.
If I have a bit of a niche question, or an important one that I really need good advice on, this is still my first port of call.
I'm not as politically engaged as I was but still fascinated/appalled by what's going on in Trump Land (smelliest theme park ever?) as many of us are.
I *need* to do my own mini Salt Path this Summer, it likely won't involve a bike unfortunately (not by choice) so I plan to walk/hike/hobble instead. I look forward to posting about it on here, I like sharing certain little bit of my life with the forum, in part because I know the trials and tribulations (to some degree) of a fair few posters due to being on here so much until recently. I still very much like the forum and it's posters. Theres a lot of decent people on here.
I came to this forum for the first time this weekend, I have been refreshing my canyon I got in 2018 as a 50th b’day present, working on my Mavic hubs I was able to share some knowledge. As a “free” user it doesn’t help having Ad windows laying over the screen whilst responding.
As a first time user I have not paid, yet! But that said it’s not a great experience. If people think it’s had its day do something to improve it.
Someone was asking earlier if I was OK because I seemed to be reacting aggressively to everything
That was me, and I really appreciate your response. As always, you never know what other people are dealing with, and it's a reminder that we shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Boring!
This is why…
The info about making the reply box bigger is a game changer.
How are we supposed to stumble upon that fact?
How are we supposed to stumble upon that fact?
It's not something we discovered, it's an expected convention.
