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When I told my teachers I wanted to be a comedian they all laughed. Well they are not laughing now!
Bob Monkhouse
Junkyard - lazarus
They very least you would need to do for a one liner is have ONE LINE
other wise its self evidently contains lineSThat one liner is three sentences and three lines
Worse than that the punchline is crap
One may accept a one liner includes a [very short] set up- Morecambe's required the siren for example- so I agree with the sentiment if not the argument
Peak STW right there
Bob Monkhouse was never really a comedian .
probably being dense but don't get the "Pistols" one ..please explain gently!
If you think Bob Monkhouse was never really a comedian then you have little chance of understanding any joke .
Bob Monkhouse was never really a comedian
What Bob Monkhouse the stand up comic and comedy writer?
Bob Monkhouse was the name that popped into my head when I saw the thread title.
"I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers."
fair enough re Bob ..got a bit confused as only just woken up !Yes he had some good lines.
There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
probably being dense but don't get the "Pistols" one ..please explain gently!
http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/nearly-had-fisticuffs-this-morning
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
More Tim Vine:
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly
I decided to sell my Hoover… well it was just collecting dust.
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes
Reply to a snotty tourist who complained that that the local beauty spot was the arsehole of the world.
Local "...and you'll just be passing through, I presume"
From Jimmy Carr's pre-show:
My town's holding its annual incest competition, so I entered my sister
Regarding Bob Monkhouse:
[url=Bob Monkhouse: The Last Stand: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b086tw3q via @bbciplayer]Last Stand on iPlayer[/url]
Can't remember where I first saw or read this but I thought it was pretty good . In response to his partner saying that he never gives her compliments she is told " For a fat bird you don't sweat much . "
Chubby Brown.
Who knows whether the joke police will allow a one-line response given to someone else saying something but it's very short (two words), very funny, and I found out about it the other day from the put downs thread:
MP 1: I am a country member..
MP 2 (the one liner): I remember.
Say what you like about paedophiles, they always drive slowly near schools
Not a one liner as such. The Inbetweeners having just reached mid Wales. The Camping Trip episode.
Jay: this cow was standing up firing milk out of it t**s
Will: udders
Jay: yeah, there were loads of them.
😀