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I was thoroughly enjoying Ted Lasso and then Roy Kent just barges onto the coaching staff without a nod to his UEFA coaching licence.
Ruined it.
Super villains never kill the good guy at the first opportunity.
Closing peoples’ eyes after they die.
Not possible to do, please stop!
Not sure where you get that. Maybe after rigor has set in. Otherwise it's completely doable
In a related note though, giving CPR to someone who, after a couple of tepid pumps, sits up, coughs, thanks you and continues doing whatever they were doing.
Sex with their clothes on. They get all horny and gropey, go for it, but leave their clothes on.
Also, the bad guy's getting away but the heroes stop to have a petty argument about who's going to drive or something, they finally sort that out, jump in the car, drive round the corner and they're right behind the bad guy.
Going flat out in a car chase, then changing down a gear and accelerating.
Cocking a weapon after pointing it the other guy in order to show that they are not getting serious.
My favourite has to be "sea cocks'! Every time someone (usually the villain) needs to sink a ship or boat, he nips below and "opens the sea cocks", and the thing sinks! In 30 odd years on ships, I've never come across these mythical things. Do the film makers really think a ship would be built with an inbuilt sinking system...
Running upstairs when being chased. Where the **** do you think you're going to go when you get to the top.
...."Oh now I'll have run along some ****ing roofs and then jump 3 stories into a skip"......
Surely it's just a sea chest vent?
Although on that subject why is the emergency bilge suction valve always operated from the bottom plates? Did nobody think that through? Have naval architects never heard of extended spindles?
Anyway, what I want to know is why nobody ever has a frozen or soaking wet windscreen on the inside of the car, no matter how big a shit heap the car is supposed to be. And every fuel pump is magically self priming.
Having just watched the first couple of episodes of Stay Close on Netflix (which we gave up on as it is utter drivel) I’d question the concept of any police force employing any of the ‘brooding detective’ characters James Nesbitt plays as he’s clearly a predatory sex offence case waiting to happen, yet he’s played that role on 2,397 occasions
Re eyes: have tried many times (albeit in animals after owners have requested it) and it is not possible, eyes remain in an open position unless they are forced closed and then held in that position (eg glued, this is what funeral homes do) until rigor sets in.
Not at all possible to do it like they insist on doing in films, often so badly you can see the person closing their own eyes without the other person even touching them!
On old fashioned telephones, tapping the cut-off cradle to try to reconnect a call. If you weren't cut off before, you definitely are now.
Nobody smokes on new TV shows these days. Or sneezes. Or farts.
Never use Windows or any recognisable PC programme
This first bit of hacking I ever engaged in was using Telnet to access my Stirling University email account off campus (I was later told by IT “not possible”). That’s using the command prompt (admittedly on a laptop from Windows). To be honest showing someone issuing instructions from a text console really wouldn’t be that engaging.
On old fashioned telephones, tapping the cut-off cradle to try to reconnect a call.
Depends on how old fashioned though. Before automatic exchanges that would have connected you to the operator - so not exactly incorrect depending on period.
The reason you don't usually see Windows or whatever on computers is that the studio's want Microsoft or Apple to pay for the product placement. If they did it anyway then they wouldn't pay. When you do see a branded computer it's been paid for. Apple did this in .oat shows and films for many years but have stopped recently. Same with cars, they usually have been de-badged and if they haven't it features very prominently.
Anyway, never mind all this technical nerdery, have you noticed that everyone wears shoes all the time in American TV shows? Even in their own house. Even when it's snowy outside and they just stomp straight in in their snow boots. Noone says TAKE THOSE BLOODY BOOTS OFF YOU'RE RUINING THE FLOOR!
Never mind wearing shoes inside, they only go and leave them on when they tuck their feet up on the sofa! The dirty ****ing eejits.
Swigging from a full coffee cup that’s clearly empty. I thought these people were supposed to be actors.
I see this everywhere and I'm trying to train myself to ignore it. It's not just drinking from an empty cup, it's carrying them too. You can spot it a mile away, just put a small amount of cold water in them or something.
Sex with their clothes on. They get all horny and gropey, go for it, but leave their clothes on.
Or the "morning after", they somehow manage to slide out from under the bed clothes and get dressed with modesty fully intact...
As far as the ‘morning after’ Mrs Binners has commented that if you went to bed with all your make up on (presumably after your hours long shag-fest) then the next morning, far from looking like a goddess, you’d be looking more like Alice Cooper
far from looking like a goddess, you’d be looking more like Alice Cooper
Making me horny just thinking about it.
Re eyes: have tried many times (albeit in animals after owners have requested it) and it is not possible, eyes remain in an open position unless they are forced closed and then held in that position (eg glued, this is what funeral homes do) until rigor sets in.
Not at all possible to do it like they insist on doing in films, often so badly you can see the person closing their own eyes without the other person even touching them!
I can assure you that it works just fine on humans, as long as you get there before the rigor. You can close them and they stay closed.
Or the “morning after”, they somehow manage to slide out from under the bed clothes and get dressed with modesty fully intact…
Lets not forget a complete lack of drool, sleep-encrusted eyelids, and (given the other party's willingness to engage in some wakey-wakey tongue-twisting action) no evil morning breath issues.
I can assure you that it works just fine on humans, as long as you get there before the rigor. You can close them and they stay closed.
Anyone fancy riding alone in the woods with cromolyolly?
Me neither....😱
Sifi films - unexplained gravity on spaceships, oh and noisy spacecraft when filmed from the outside.
Romance films - lack of foreplay
Westerns - one shot to the belly and they are dead...
fire protection systems in buildings - how many times have all the sprinkler heads magically starting spraying water out even though there's no heat anywhere near them🤷♂️
IIRC The Matrix was based for the this
Never finishing their drinks before they leave the pub
Romance films – lack of foreplay
I remember in Monsters Ball, Billy-jo-bob-jones just starts kissing, then rams it into Halley Berry...
also, as mentioned before...hacking or using ANY computer system JUST by typing... which then opend up LOTS of windows with all the info they want...
DrP
Westerns – one shot to the belly and they are dead…
Unless they're a good guy in which case they'll make a miraculous and quick recovery.
See also:
hail of automatic gunfire ricocheting all around the hero - unscathed
one single shot from a handgun at long range to Generic Bad Guy - instant death
Any kind of fuzzy image enhancement.
That stormtrooper effect - all sorts of armour and weapons, but no good. See any large army of hapless opponents. Same for police drivers in any kind of pursuit if they are present in large numbers. Despite all the training they can only crash into each other, cardboard boxes or fire hydrants.
Running. On tv folk can sprint flat-out for a very long time. Same for horses in westerns - a full speed gallop can last indefinitely.
They must really hate the Golden Gate bridge.
(Screen Rant Pitch Meetings are great)
Of heroes: They can get shot and brush it off, fall from windows, get up and run, but when tended to with antiseptic or plaster from the heroine will always wince as if the pain is unbearable
Guns: hitting anything with a pistol one handed from anything further than across a room. Heroes being shot in the arm and carrying on as if they've just nothing more than a scratch.
Cars that explode if you roll them.
Computer screens beeping. EVERYONE uses computer screens now and know they DON'T BEEP!
Firing a machine gun in the general direction of James Bond. He's immune you idiots!
My favourite has to be “sea cocks’! Every time someone (usually the villain) needs to sink a ship or boat, he nips below and “opens the sea cocks”, and the thing sinks!
Conversely every submarine has big red wheel to close a valve and it stops sinking.
And no one ever goes straight to STW to find the answer to their totally obscure enquiry. I suppose if they did you'd lose at least an hour of the film.
Hiding behind vehicles when being shot… Good luck with that in real life!
it appears that in real life shooty-types do hide behind cars for cover or protection.
Police running down street chasing baddy about 10 yards ahead of them. Baddy getting to their car, opening door, getting in, starting engine and driving off before police get to them.
Super villains never kill the good guy at the first opportunity.
And, they unveil their whole plan in full before allowing said good guy to escape and thwart said plan.
Why in every TV show or film is there ALWAYS someone that is being sick? I don't want to watch someone throwing-up
If you've not noticed - trust me, it's there
When calling somebody it takes a millisecond to find the correct number, nobody has multiple attempts to unlock their phone or gets distracted by a random WhatsApp notification.
Asking the passenger to steer a car or HGV at high speed, even if they are a twelve year old who's never driven before, results in a swerve that is easily brought under control.
Everybody rents warehouse space substantially larger than required. This includes everybody from government agencies to criminals planning their heist.
Having read all through this thread I'm starting to wonder if maybe movies aren't real. I've this nagging feeling that well maybe they are just all made up.
Actors that speak in terrible accented English to indicate that they're Italian, Russian, French etc.
Stop it. Either speak normally or use subtitles.
Having read all through this thread I’m starting to wonder if maybe movies aren’t real.
Acting is just lying anyway.
People being chased by a dog, and outrunning it.
Always getting USB sticks in the correct orientation at first attempt.
Finding and downloading the necessary files on an unknown computer faster than I can even turn my computer on.
Totally mismatched cars having an exciting chase.
Always oversteer, never understeer, and the untrained driver being able to drift round every corner better than Ken Block.
the untrained driver being able to drift round every corner
better than Ken Blocknearly as well as a STW member.
Never answer the phone with "Hello *INSERT NAME* how are you? Long time no speak..." and other such niceties that make the world go round.
They also rarely answer with a goodbye or action - the call just ends on a statement...
Whenever you see someone carrying a suitcase it's obviously empty.