Some lengths of scaffolding so I could make my own custom chopper bike along with my mate Richard (see the other thread and my apple stealing with him). We would ride around town on these beasts (the forks were probably 3ft long). Mine was red feathered into silver on the butts, his was painted up the same way but black and gold.
I am [b]*GUTTED*[/b] that I don't have any photographic record of it.
A mini digger.
In Châtel in summer 2002. My mate and I were walking back to the apartment we were staying in from the pub where we had unsuccessfully been trying to chat up teenage Parisien girls using our schoolboy French.
The mini digger was parked on the side of the road at the end of someone's drive. For some reason the keys were in the ignition. It seemed too good an opportunity to miss, so I fired it up and walked it a few hundred metres down the road to the car park outside our apartment where I did a spot of light excavation while shouting "je suis désolée" up to our unimpressed neighbours who the digger had woken and were watching from their balcony.
My mate convinced me I should take it back to where we had found it, so I did, and left it parked exactly as it had been.
The next night on the way home from the pub the keys were in the ignition again, so evidently the owner hadn't noticed that it had been for an adventure.
A garden table and two benches, plus umbrella, from a pub in Abersoch which wouldn't serve a bunch of scruffy Mancs.
Looked great on the campsite and burned well.
We kept the umbrella.
My wife's heart. 🙄
Stole a handful of tampons from a supermarket when I was very young.
Box had split and spilled.
I thought they were sweets.
About 6 bottles of whisky / gin / brandy (can't really remember exactly what) from a hotel bar in Lincolnshire. No idea why, I was very, very drunk. Woke up in my room with my 'bar' ready to go on the side table....
I returned them to the back door of the bar (in a corridor) then walked through into breakfast. Quite amusing watching the morning staff trying to work out what had happened as the bottle were put back behind the bar!
Four absolutely [i]massive[/i][i] pipes from a church pipe organ. They were laid out waiting for the scrap man, so technically it was recycling. Couldn't get a note out of them.
stole building supplies from building site so me and my mates could build a tree house
stole new window frames from an old factory because we needed wood for our bonfire...2 grands worth we later found out
Concrete donkey.
Concrete donkey.
You is one stone-cold hard-ass gangsta.
Too many to mention due to stupid abuse of alcohol as a youngster.
But, in my early teens:
A porn mag. Thought I went for something classy like playboy and put it inside a broadsheet. Once home with my booty I realised I'd snatched Readers Wives. The memory of "EggWina" the old lady, covered in raw eggs, will never leave me.
We repeatedly stole the pub bench/tables on a Friday night, put them in a war canoe and made a slow escape with someone on the drum for good measure. The landlord always made us return them on Saturday morning. It wasn't as if he didn't know where they had gone. I think they were eventually screwed down as our 'game' had got tiresome.
As a student we went through a phrase of taking garden gates
What was the sentence for that? 😉
I've been stealing wage for almost 20 years now.
Don't know how I've got away with it for so long.
part of the gun sight off a scorpion tank. Coming back from town with a friend a little to worse for wear, there was a "join the army thing" going on in the park with a cheiftain and a scorpion parked up. So as you do we climb up and got in.... quite tricky to see in the dark but the sight seemed to have some kind of passive ir which was fun with the manual turret traverse.... suffice to say I took a memento
Both when about 15:
A "Danger Of Death, Keep Off" sign obtained by..... climbing the pylon it was attached to.
I tried to steal an abandoned Ford Escort, twice. It was lying in a ditch with a stream trickling through the bodywork. The first time I waited in it for my friend who was more car-savvy to arrive. I waited there 3 hours, in the dark, in a ditch, on it's side, while the snow gently fell through the broken windows. Eventually I sodded off.
The second time we decided to drive there. In a 1950's hand-start Lister Diesel dumper. First I was nearly shot waiting for my friend to wake up [we always snuck out at night for out misbehavin']. His father heard the dogs bark and stood on the balcony with his modified 5 shot narrow choke repeating shotgun, scanning for an intruder. He was a shoot-first ask questions later kinda guy so I was probably dribbling piss the whole time I hid behind their car. When my buddy finally managed to sneak out, we had to hand crank the dumper up the lane in gear to get off the property without getting shot. After cranking the thing a few hundred meters we started it and with just a single squeeze of the throttle and the momentum of the flywheel we shot up the lane. Pulling onto the road with bike lights held overhead, a flashing red red LED light and a 50W halogen in the bucket with a load of lifting tackle we set out to drive the 10km to drag the thing out of the ditch. After just a few KM we get a puncture and had to pull into the local garage for air. This attracted such strange looks that we thought they might call the police. We were stoned-as, uninsured, incorrectly lit, without licences and on the way to steal something. Point of fact, we were also without brakes!
Turning back we drove along towards Loe Beach again, and along the way we had to descend a hill. My buddy, thinking he wanted to get back home quick before we were arrested decided it would be a good idea to take the truck out of gear as it would roll faster than it would rev. Down the hill we went, building speed. As we approached the bottom of the hill we realised we were going waaay to fast to get around the corner, and it was at this moment we knew we'd ****ed up. On the outside of the corner was one of Cornwall's older and very attractive pubs..... we were heading on a path to demolish it.
At this point it became obvious that we had overlooked the importance of synchromesh.... we couldn't get the thing back into gear to decelerate! As I prepared to bail out of the vehicle my buddy put one foot against the gear stick and the other flat to the floor on the accelerator - at the very last moment we got it into gear, released the gofasterpedal and rounded the corner on two wheels [well, it felt like it].
At least I didn't spend the night sitting alone in the car again.....
I took a pee first thing this morning. 😆
A rather naughty associate stole a painting from an arty pub in Newcastle, he had overheard a conversation that it was worth a few grand.
So as the gig was happening downstairs he went up and nicked the painting.
Got out of the pub and realised he had no idea what to do with it, so swapped it for an 8th coke and a couple of spliffs.
The theft made it into the local paper, the painting still hangs on a dealer's wall.
15 years later talking to another school friend who is now a respected artist, he told me the story of one of his paintings being stolen from the pub!
My older brother managed to get one of these out of a local pub once 😯
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A harmonica from a garden centre about 3 years ago. Sorry.
A plastic Dalek from Woolies. Well we all did.
Oh then there was the huge sign off the side of the Dover Calais boat train which had to be folded up to stick in a rucsac. I still have the smaller steel sign "Voiture 30" off one of the carriages.
RAC signboard for the British Grand Prix 1981.
School gates went missing once on mischief night. They were heavy buggers.
EDIT - just remembered. This wasn't theft honest. I had an invitation through the local rugby club to a games night in the sergeant's mess at the local barracks. Suit and tie do, amazing buffet, great curry.
Several months later I put my suit on again and there in the inside pocket was a KFS set - regimental silver!! Oops.
I have a metal sign exactly like this one in my office at home.
It was stolen from the Falkland Islands. My mate brought me it back as he thought it would be a nice souvenir.
The Argentinians laid minefields which are now penguin sanctuarys as the penguins are too light to activate the mines and the cost of removal is prohibitive.
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Omg, live penguin mines! 😆
First present I gave to my then girlfriend (now wife) was a stolen rocking duck from a chalet in Morzine.
Pound a pint night as a skint student followed by wondering to the packed local greasy food establishment (Jakes in Plymouth). Walked in, guy behind the counter shouted what I planned on ordering so without any hesitation I took it and then received some change... Took me a while in the morning to figure out how my wallet had more money in it than I'd started the evening with.
Cardboard from my primary school stationery cupboard. I was into drawing (a lot) and it was nice smooth white card. I remember you could only use one side as the other had stuff printed on it. It may be been unused punch cards.
In the early 90s, my hockey team 'liberated' some broken wall mounted deer antlers and some dirty dinner plates from Formby Cricket club; all spirited away in the goalie's kit bag.
My criminal career is pretty lightweight. When I was very young (still at junior school, but old enough to walk home from school so maybe aged 10-ish?), under peer pressure I stole a scented pencil eraser from a corner shop. I spent the next two weeks papping myself that I'd get caught, every time the doorbell went I thought it was the police coming to arrest me.
Oh, I've thought of another, but to this day I hold that it was justified.
At high school, our CDT lessons consisted of the teacher taking a register, sodding off to the staff room to chain smoke for an hour, then coming back ten minutes before the end of class to tell us to tidy up. Only on rare occasions would he actually teach a lesson. Coming up to GCSE time I knew next to nothing about the subject and my project consisted of a rudimentary frame and a bunch of scribbled notes.
A couple of weeks before the exams, I suddenly realised I was surely going to fail. So I broke into the CDT lab, and stole one of each of the text books covering the subject (I think there was about eight in total), then crammed two years' of study into the next fortnight, it was the only subject I revised for.
I remember going back up to school to get my results like it was resterday. The receptionist read them out, one by one. "CDT Technology," she said, and then paused as she saw me wince. "Go on..." I said. "... B" she replied. "Bloody hell!" said I, and she burst out laughing.
2 come to mind
My mate JS and I borrowed a large loudspeaker from the waiting room of a small local line train station. He hid it under his bed and funnily enough his mum found it and we were made to replace it.
A Russian Star, from the gates of Nimon air base in the Czech republic. It was a nuclear equipped bomber base during the cold war and packed with cool stuff, so I nicked the gate emblem. Russians had done one a few years before so I wasnt at risk of being shot
The blue lights from the grill of a police riot van, 2 traffic lights, one which we dumped in a mates front garden and the other remains hidden behind a shed 15 years later. Several horns from breakers yard vehicles, wired in parallel they would make a fearsome noise and cause the lights of a metro to dim worryingly.
All the catseyes from about 200M of road along from my house, aged 12 - 13 ish. Poke a pair of pliers in the end, twist and pull the rubbery shiny goodness out.
Then put them in a heap, not quite knowing what to do with them...
And a fancy calligraphy pen set from the pharmacy when I was a few years older. My writing was/is crap, I must have thought that would improve it. 🙂
Went on a cruise a few years ago . They take a lot of pictures during your stay and display them for you to buy at stupid prices .
we took them all to the counter to choose which ones we wanted . Chose a couple and somehow , the other 20 ended up in my bag .
We paid full price for 2 and got a big discount on the others ........
I might/might not have pinched quite a few Duracell batteries from a supermarket because they were running a promotion to get a toy dinasaur.
Never did get it though.
I stole a cast iron frying pan from a public amenities site . It was for sale for £1 but nobody was about . I think my ex wife still has it 25 years on .
