I once stole the gun off my friend's X-Wing Fighter because I needed it for mine.
I was also a prodigious thief of others' marbles (when I was 7).
What will you admit to?
A set of keys for our school.
Nicked from the wood store room.
We went in & nicked loads of stuff.
Circa 1971 though.
Someone's glasses. Wasn't drunk or anything, was at work.
SaxonRider - MemberI once stole the gun off my friend's X-Wing Fighter because I needed it for mine.
Completely reasonable
A friend's crutches after he broke his ankle.
I didn't exactly steal them, just relocated them. 😈
I once nicked a lads sandwiches at school when he had an epileptic fit.
I'm not proud of it, but he wasn't going to be eating them.
A packet of Frazzles and a yo-yo from a shop because somebody dared me to. I was about 12 at the time.
The only phone at a house party I crashed in my teens. The older brother of the girl throwing the party came home unexpectedly and threw everyone out. I hung around in the garden, very drunk.
He came out and told me he was calling the police. His face was a picture when I declared "no you're not because I've got the phone" whilst proceeding to pull the phone and all cabling out of my coat.
Teenaged drinking FTW!
To my eternal shame I stole a reverse-thread nut of the stub axle of a Mini Metro that had been abandoned in the street outside our house in London. To be fair, it had been there a couple of weeks and was covered in Police stickers. And I did need the nut to fix my mates car. Anyway, the council sent a lorry and dragged it off to the scrappy the next day.
To my eternal shame I stole a reverse-thread nut of the stub axle of a Mini Metro that had been abandoned in the street outside our house in London. To be fair, it had been there a couple of weeks and was covered in Police stickers. And I did need the nut to fix my mates car. Anyway, the council sent a lorry and dragged it off to the scrappy the next day.
In this day and age you can consider that 'recycling'
When I was about 6 and my brother 8, we stole all the spare buttons we could from the pocket of suit jackets in M&S one boring shopping trip with my mum.
She found the buttons a few weeks later and made us take them back and write a letter of apology to the shop manager.
My mate stole a 9v battery sized lump of potassium at school.
The police were called when the technicians realised it was missing.
On the weekend we went down to the pit and threw it in the lake. Was quite exciting compared to the small 1/4 pea sized lumps the teacher was dropping into the bowl.
Me and my mates used to hide in the bushes near the green of a par 3 at the Glamorganshire and steel the balls as they arrived.
A better variant was to pop the ball in the hole. Much looking from the players ensued followed by an inevitable, incredulous shout of 'Hey Dave, you've only got a hole-in-one!' Probably cost a few guys a few pints!
some ones guide dog....
only for 5 minutes though, man that thing loved steak mckoys!
A sausage. It's a long story that started in Blackpool with an ill-planned stag-crawl and finished with us all scattered and me legging (pursued by owners) among a zig-zag 1/2 mile of parked cars. I had ordered a large sausage from the hotdog and chips stand. I had a minor seizure of drunken unreason and so ran without paying.
I escaped, and the adrenalin was so high that I couldn't face eating the sausage.
Whoever you were, I'm sorry, OK? Karma has bitten pretty hard since then so I'll take it as time paid and some. Think that's all I ever knicked. Oh, and that box of kit-kats from the offie when I was teen. I had an accomplice too.
So am two-time junk-food klepto.
A length of 3x2 off my neighbours driveway . There were 4 lengths but I only needed 1 😉
To my eternal shame I stole a reverse-thread nut of the stub axle of a Mini Metro that had been abandoned in the street outside our house in London. To be fair, it had been there a couple of weeks and was covered in Police stickers. And I did need the nut to fix my mates car. Anyway, the council sent a lorry and dragged it off to the scrappy the next day.
I'd also be ashamed of knowing someone that owned a Metro
A cooked chicken from a girl guides camp site catering tent when in our teens .
we did an SAS raid sneaking up and under the tent then ate said chicken in the woods .
But someone saw us and told the local gestapa who went round to my mates house and under intense pressure and torture he confesses and also implicated me .
result in an appearance before the magistrate and £20 fine each
and not to forget the piss taking from all our mates which still happens even now
a prank that went very wrong as £20 was over a weeks wages at the time but they did let us pay £5 a week
A US marine's helmet
A bust of Queen Victoria
Numerous road signs
A small dog
There's plenty more but my memory appears to be unwilling to release the details at the minute.
My only excuses are beer and growing up in a small village with nothing to do.
On the way home from School, me and a couple of mates popped into woolworths. I spotted a set of flights for my darts. They were red and had a picture of a pair of massive tits. They were 55p and I had 40p. Took my chance, slipped them into my pocket and walked out. Bus stop directly across the road and I could see our bus coming in the distance. Tried to cross the road and got wasted by a hit and run driver. Instant Karma.
My mate acquired a giant cut out Shrek, from a cinema, at 7am in the morning, walked it through Newcastle city centre, with a snake in a hessian sack over one shoulder, off his tits, trying to to find the after party we were at.
A giant Shrek head appeared at the window of the party, was his grand entrance, before he whopped his snake onto the table.
A fully decorated Christmas tree. Woke Christmas morning by my Mum dragging me out of bed by my ear shouting at me to take it back from where I had found it. I had no idea, so hung over I dragged to the local shops and left it. Still no idea where it came from nearly 30 yrs later!
My mates and I once stole a for sale sign from outside a house on our way home from the pub. It took up a surprisingly large amount of space in our front room!
A couple of days later a girl came round her house and she happened to be the daughter of the estate agent. Her reaction was pretty funny.
I knew a student house in Newcastle with a set of four way traffic lights setup in it, in different rooms.
I don't know how they managed to steal them, get them home, and get them running.
Someone broke into my car and stole the hazard warning light switch out of the dash once.
A chaise lounge from the cock hotel in stony Stratford.
To this day I have no idea how me and the other fella got this thing out of their main lobby up the high street and into our flat without being wrestled to the floor by staff or the law enforcement!
Once woke up in the company of a life-sized cardboard cut out of Maureen Lipman.
I once nicked a lads sandwiches at school when he had an epileptic fit.
I'm not proud of it, but he wasn't going to be eating them
genuine lol there.I don't know what's better about this, that it happened at all or that you owned up to it 😆
Someone broke into my car and stole the hazard warning light switch out of the dash once.
picked up by the fuzz later that night for 'flashing'?
I lost the nose pad from a pair of Oakley's a few years ago, made a trip to the optician, asked the optician to open the cabinet and relieved a pair of glasses of their nose pad.
Nearly 20 years ago and I still feel guilty about it.
picked up by the fuzz later that night for 'flashing
😯 painful !
As a student we went through a phrase of taking garden gates. We had 20 or 30 when we left the house. The landlord was not impressed.
I borrowed (not stole, technicality) one of those A-frame pub signs from outside a Guildford City Centre pub. It was about 5 foot tall x 3 foot wide and took two of us to carry it, stretcher style, between us through Guildford. We then stashed it in a side alley and went for a curry, before retrieving it and taking it home, in a taxi. The genius bit, and how we managed to get the taxi driver to agree to carry it (he had to fold the seats down and my mate lie across it in the back) was because it had a misspelling on it courtesy of the signwriter -
15th Centruy Coaching Inn,
Good Food
Fine Ales
and we 'convinced' him we'd been given it because it was worthless as was.
We got it home, set it up SAS style in my bedroom and then with a 'TADA!' revealed it to my sleeping girlfriend.
She was in honesty, slightly less pleased with it than we'd imagined she would be, and I can't put it entirely down to the fact that it was about 2am by this point.
She made me take it back the next morning, well before opening hours, so I don't suppose it was ever actually missed. Hence not technically stolen.
Also as a student in Durham, we stole (again, borrowed really) one of those traffic bollard things - 3 foot tall with a cast iron City crest on it, that blocks off the pedestrian areas but can be removed for fire engine access, etc. I plucked it from the ground like a giant picking an ear of corn, swung it over my shoulder and we headed into Moatside Court whereupon we demanded one of our ladyfriends make us a cup of tea. Again, being well after closing time she was already asleep and so refused but undeterred, we used the bulbous end of our sturdy implement as a battering ram, forcing her to yield entry and to furnish us all, one after the other, with our victuals (2 teas and a coffee for me please). In the 1980's this was considered perfectly normal and not at all threatening behaviour, BTW.
We them deposited the bollard under her bed and bade our farewells.
This time it was a combination of the cleaning lady and her forcing us to return the object. Except it took 3 of us to lift the thing when sober, just proving that beer does make you much strong, grrrrr!!
A giant restaurant pepper mill. must be at least 18 inches high. my ex still uses it, and will tell everyone that it's the proceeds of crime
A lump of blasting gelatine.
Sadly, it was only a dummy display sample.
A bookmark with a topless lady on from a cheapo book shop in York. My mate nicked one too.
This was about 25/30 years ago. Not quite sure why we didn't just pay the 20p for them or whatever they cost.
My brother and I came out of the Waterside Inn in Summerseat that was washed down the Irwell by storm Desmond, and saw that the chef had left three rolled joints of meat to cool on the window sill that was low down at car exhaust level beside the bridge. My brother reached in, took one of the joints and hid it under his coat and we walked home to my house 100 yards away. When we got home we looked at the joint and realised that we actually felt quite bad about it despite the chef's stupidity so we nipped back and reversed the operation. I sometimes wonder what nasty bacteria the joint picked up during its short trip and whether they affected anybody who ate the meat the next day.
We had roadworks in our street, which is used as a rat-run and the street was closed giving us three months of glorious peace. Just before it reopened I drove up to each end and pinched the "Road Closed" signs. When they reopened the road I re-erected the signs and chained them to street furniture. We enjoyed another four or five days of peace while drivers carried on unaware that their rat-run was open again but in the end the council realised and removed them. A cycling buddy of mine worked in the highways department at the time; I think he suspected I was behind the wheeze and he told me his boss was absolutely fuming, saying: "We can't have residents setting up road diversions!"
Communion wine...and a bunch of the wafer host things
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In ibiza in 1997 I was filling up the car and forgot to take nozzle out after I'd paid. As I drove off I heard a huge crash and realised that the whole petrol pump had come off and I had dragged it across the forecourt. Eventually it got caught against another pump and came off but I drove off at great speed with the nozzle and rubber hose still attached to the car. I dumped it a couple of miles up the road and quickly changed my hire car....
[i]A bust of Queen Victoria[/i]..
Oh blimey, I forgot, but that reminded me. In my front garden is an angel's head. For 1 year exactly I lived in the back of a big house next to a grave yard. One drunken night my housemates and I ventured into the graveyard and I stole a broken (it was!) head that was lying on the ground.
A few weeks later this made the local paper after that church was vandalised "Gravestones SMASHED! And REMOVED!" 😳
This must've been 1985 and about 10 house moves later I've still got the head. 😆
There was a "Scavenger Hunt" at college around 98-99 that resulted in the car pack to be full of gravestones, various farm animals, cannons, the blue lights from jam sandwiches and a combine harvester amongst other things. I remember hanging out the window of a 205 holding onto a 25ft flag pole as we belted back through the lanes.
Youth of [s]today[/s] yesterday... Don't know what the world's [s]coming to[/s] coming from...
Oh, and an inflatable toy dinosaur on a school trip which I still feel guilty for 😳
In my front garden is an angel's head.
Don't blink.
A statue from the maplin art gallery, sheffied.
I didn't steal it (I don't steal and get a major frisson reading some of the kids stealing stuff above. People are so [i]bad[/i]...) But it was in my student house. Kind of allowed as the main stealer was some kind of artist.
Life sizeish statue of a naked man. He was decapitated and a black and white portable (the house telly) was stuck on his shoulders. This at the time seemed quite cool. Wonder where he is now?
Stole a full size Foster's Lager parasol from the "tropical" themed student disco at Bradford uni in the early 1990s. Quite a feat as the main hall was below ground level. I've a vague memory of going out of the fire exit and up the amphitheatre, then propping it up behind me while we ate in the Shabina (ooo, aaaah, shah-bee-na, say ooh-ah-sha-bee-na). I think it was finally abandoned to rot in the shed of a rented house in tooting Bec
Also ended up with the pump light from a John Smith's tap from the Shearbridge pub, the bar was so packed I was hanging onto it to try to stay close t the bar and it came away in my hand so I kept it. No idea what happened to that though
In the day when satalite dishes were rare, I borrowed one and tried to use it as a giant wok on a barbeque......
