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Split evenly by person. It all comes out in the wash amongst friends.
If it don’t work like that, they’re not friends.
Why would it come out in the wash? And what is the wash?
I have friends who have big appetites and are a bit snobby about what they drink. When they go out regardless with whoever it is they would think nothing of buying the big steak and the £12 a glass wine. It's not that they are rich, or taking the piss out of the payment system just they prioritise that sort of thing over shiny bits of carbon bike. Any fair enough if that is what makes a cloudy day slightly brighter for them. If the convention amongst a group of friends is always to split the bill evenly what sort of 'washing' is going to even that out over time. Yes, they could chip in extra every time to even it out but if you are going to break 'the rule' for that would it not be equally reasonable for the person who always spends less to arbitrarily and independently break the rule the other way too? Then it's just an unholy social mess!
Individual ordering and billing as the default house rules would be the way to social nivana.
And don't get me started on why we still prat around with tips in the UK.
^^^^
the 'rule' is to offer more than your share, like with rounds. I'll have lost out slightly over the years I don't doubt, but so what? What sort of person do you want to be? Generous or tight - you cant be both.
There are some who are proud of their tightness, and completely unembarrassed about this which I can frankly respect, certainly compared to those who think they're covering it up. (Thinking of one of my surfing mates. Who'll do a ostentatious tray of sambukas (£2 each) having dodged the £5 pints... ****, oh it all gets noticed 🙂
Worst I recall was a meal with two couples, one of whom we barely knew. We put in our share for the (average) meal plus (possibly over) generous tip. Found out later after we left that the ones we didn't know paid the complete bill minus tip, effectively pocketing our cash... Nope.
There are some who are proud of their tightness, and completely unembarrassed about this which I can frankly respect, certainly compared to those who think they’re covering it up.
Yup, you can identify them easily as they get pissy about tipping.
Thing is - it's my most moneyed "mates" that act like this. Running their social life like a corner shop. ****S.
Just going to throw into the mix the person who actually agrees with splitting the bill but will give you his share next time he sees you....
I think there is an element of a gender divide.
My mates and I go out 4 of us, the bill is £54 and everyone throws in £20 to show how Geez they are. We spent the rest of the night buying rounds, except Mr. short arms, deep pockets who always managed to skip one.... you know who you are.
My Wife goes out with her Mates, 8 of them, the bill is £254 (because they all drink their own weight in Prosecco and Cocktails) a 'quick' 20 min conflab happens and they present the waiter with exactly £203 (only after the bill passes forensic accounting, an NHS discount is requested and usually received and various discount codes they've saved up are applied but they always pay the service charge or tip, a bit) later a bank transfer appears on our statement to send Jane (it's always Jane) £3.28 "because I had the Garlic bread and didn't have enough cash" they spend the rest of the evening in buddy groups buying another bottle each and there's another transfer of £4.58 to Rachel (because she lives near us) for exactly half the Uber cost home. It seems very complex and 'business like' but it works for them and no one gets upset, which, given how often they get upset with each other, is surprising, what's really amazing is they manage it with perfect precision seemingly barely able to walk unaided.
mates and I go out 4 of us, the bill is £54 and everyone throws in £20 to show how Geez they are. We spent the rest of the night buying rounds, except Mr. short arms, deep pockets who always managed to skip one…. you know who you are.
My Wife goes out with her Mates, 8 of them, the bill is £254 (because they all drink their own weight in Prosecco and Cocktails) a ‘quick’ 20 min conflab happens and they present the waiter with exactly £203 (only after the bill passes forensic accounting,
🙂 🙂 this too!
Worst I recall was a meal with two couples, one of whom we barely knew. We put in our share for the (average) meal plus (possibly over) generous tip. Found out later after we left that the ones we didn’t know paid the complete bill minus tip, effectively pocketing our cash… Nope.
Worst I've suffered, we were invited (friends and I, not couples) to the latest Posh Bistro in Swansea (an oxymoron I know). This place was a little pretentious (I know, in SWANSEA!) and they didn't sell beer, they also made a huge fuss of doing little.
4 couples and about 5 'Lads' at a long table, being the enterprising young scamps we were, between courses we hopped next door to the pub, purchased some bottled Lagers and kept them down by our feet like naughty schoolboys. We had a pretty good evening actually, a bunch of desperately mature 'middle class' Swansea Jack Couples laughing and joking which some slightly rough around the edges Cardiffians, our mistake was not having that slightly awkward discussion about 'the bill' before hand. The couples enjoyed 3 courses, including some really expensive shellfish dishes, a few bottles of wine, a meal fit for Royalty, some of us had a starter, most didn't, none took a desert and not being much in the way of wine drinkers, had bought our drinks next door after getting he wink from the waiter.
It started with that weird theory that a couple, is, somehow so in tune that they're now a single entity, erm what? oh and it's fair because they 'shared' (shared in this case meant they had some of each others, not they shared a single dish) and they wanted to split 9 ways. Most of them were Teachers so their negotiation was largely based around being condescending. They finally accepted a 13-way split "if you want to be like that" by then I think we were so embarrassed we accepted and hoped they enjoyed their wine, it certainly cost enough to be lovely.
This notion that it "all evens out over time" is all well and good but it assumes that a) you all go out in a similar group regularly and b) you're all on a level playing field.
I'm vegetarian, my meals typically cost a few quid less than the carnivorous options. That's never going to change.
I've a mate who's tee-total, he will just drink the free tap water rather than a few pints. That's never going to change.
I have a friend who will always order steak, not for pretentious reasons but because he's funny with food and it's the only thing on the menu he knows he'll like consistently. That's never going to change.
Another friend will always order a bottle of wine to herself, sometimes two (taking the rest away with her). That's... you get the idea.
How is that lot ever going to even out over time? Doubly so given that I eat out in a large group maybe once a year.
Why am I picturing an AD&D meeting after reading your post Cougar? 😂
I think a bit of common sense needs to apply. If you only have a main and no drinks and three others have 3 courses and 4 drinks each why should you split the bill evenly. That would mean that your mates are taking the piss rather than you being a tight ass. Seems that everyone has to pretend that they have endless money when they go out and be the big shot. If they are your mates they wont mind paying for what they had and not expect you to pay. But if everyone has a pretty similar meal and drinks then splitting is by fair the easiest way rather than counting pennies
Why am I picturing an AD&D meeting after reading your post Cougar? 😂
I’m a wizard my meals typically cost a few quid less than warrior options. That’s never going to change.
I’ve a mate who’s a paladin , he will just drink the free tap water rather than a few pints. That’s never going to change.
I have a friend who's a half orc will always order steak, not for pretentious reasons but because he’s funny with food and it’s the only thing on the menu he knows he’ll like consistently. That’s never going to change.
Another friend that's a dwarf will always order a bottle of wine to herself, sometimes two (taking the rest away with her). That’s… you get the idea.
Why am I picturing an AD&D meeting after reading your post Cougar? 😂
I'm going to need some assistance on the acronym here. Google is throwing up "accidental death and dismemberment" or "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"
It depends... With some friends we take turns in paying. Others we just divide the bill by the number of people eating. Where I know that someone may not be feeling as flush due to the distance from payday or because they have less disposable income then itemising is fine - especially if it means someone doesn’t feel pressured to pay more than they can afford.
I shouldn’t have typed all of the above - I think this is generally covered by Rule No 1.