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I saved Eric Clapton's life after a mackerel fish bone got stuck in his throat. He said the fish wasn't very nice, but the bloke who cooked it was so keen for him to eat it, that he said he liked it so as not to dissapoint him.
I've pee'd in Leslie Ash's front garden.
Licked binners eyeballs, bah - I've kissed binners (don't look bagpuss), no tongues though 🙂
I make very nice handbags and bunting http://emmyjane-design.blogspot.com/ which many stwers have bought, for their lovely ladies, which proves you really are a stylish and thoughtful lot 🙂
I've peed in the Blue Peter garden. 😳
Thought there was an odour around that BBQ, Cheesy! 🙂
I once knew someone who knew someone who threw up on a mouse...
The deeds to our house specifically state we cannot operate an abattoir on our propery.
If only I'd realised before we moved in.
Ribble Cycles was my great grandfathers business. My mum used to live above the shop on Watery Lane. It's no longer in the family unfortunately :/
I have two scars (one horizontal and on vertical) that, combined with my nipples look like a smiley face
I am the exiled spiritual leader of tibet
I've seen a dogs footprint in a human turd
I have two scars (one horizontal and on vertical) that, combined with my nipples look like a smiley face
Photo?
I went to a reception in the Houses of Parliment yesterday on the terrace.
I saw/met more well known people than in the previous 42 yrs of my life.
I can confirm security is very tight, unless your in a wheelchair, because they don't check them. That big battery could be a bomb!!
John Prescott is actually funny 😕
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I forge things for the goverment. I was close to being expelled from college for forging signatures for work I never completed.
There are certain food types I just don't eat!!!!
If you lick my eyeballs, one tastes of prawn cocktail crisps, the other of pork and leek sausages covered in brown sauce. I'm very popular at barbecues
Bunnyhop - ssshhhhhh! Everyone will want kisses now. Its bad enough putting up with everyone licking my eyeballs.
In the early 80's I was ranked 33rd in the world at pacman.
I was almost a disgruntled customer on the first episode of the Apprentice, but couldn't be bothered to complain when after refusing a pot of fruit, one of the girls rather rudely said "please yourself". I almost turned round and asked who her manager was...but couldn't be bothered.
Didn't know it was The Apprentice
I used to swim for Lancashire Counties Synchronised Swimming Team but if you tell anyone I'll have you all killed......
I was asked to attend National League basketball trials when I was 15 but dislocated my thumb and index finger the day before!
I've also sold bikes to Ian Wright and Les Ferdinand.
mmmm. Lipstick in the swimming pool. mmmmmm
I won silver in Archery at Scout camp in 1989.
I am the 3rd fastest swimmer of 100m fly in Wiltshire between the ages of 34 and 39
binners - Member
If you lick my eyeballs, one tastes of prawn cocktail crisps, the other of pork and leek sausages covered in brown sauce. I'm very popular at barbecues
Clapton said as much.
I've pee'd in Leslie Ash's front garden
Front garden or lady garden? 😈
I went out mountainbiking wearing my assos road shorts.
I went out mountainbiking wearing my assos road shorts.
wierdo.
binners - MemberIf you lick my eyeballs, one tastes of prawn cocktail crisps, the other of pork and leek sausages covered in brown sauce. I'm very popular at barbecues
Binners can lick his own eyebrows never mind eyeballs..... there is a reason he's the love of my life..... 😉
I was once smuggled into 10 downing street. I stole some silver the way out too.
I was in Tess Daly & Vernon Kay's garden the other day.
Jet from Gladiators once hit me in the gentleman's area.
I once was No1 in the world on PGR2 for my lap time on West on Wacker.
I've been on Blue Peter and nearly decapitated a presenter....er and I've been in the Daily Mail 😳
Not very proud of the last one.
I have on more than one occasion unexpectedly found myself (at the request of the musicians) dancing on stage in front of a large crowd as a kind of Bez character for the headline act at a music event..
This is unfortunately.. almost certainly a result of the wildly enthusiastic and eccentric nature of my dancing rather than of any inherant skill or talent.. 😳
I've played at Last Night Of The School Proms at the Albert Hall.
Also, I'm currently producing about flourescent yellow snot from my left maxillary sinus at a rate of about 125mL/hour.
My wife once rejected the lecherous advances of Dean Gaffney in a nightclub in Kingston.
Used to hold the UK record for longest field goal (and interceptions in one season) for american football. May still do.
Held the world record for the highest score on Asteroids (atari 2600) took me 16 hours. Probably don't now.
Oh, and a few years back I innocently let the dogs out.
My wife once rejected the lecherous advances of Dean Gaffney in a nightclub in Kingston.
mine didn't.. 😥
I broke my thumb in a crash on C-Y-B last week and on both of the x-rays a piece of metal about 1/2 mm across is visible, I've no idea where thats from 😯
mine didn't.
My wife did say she saw him crawling all over some poor girl in a corner later in the evening.
I broke my thumb in a crash on C-Y-B last week and on both of the x-rays a piece of metal about 1/2 mm across is visible, I've no idea where thats from
It's the remnants from an alien probe.
You should probably check that there's nothing stuck up your arse.
I'm slightly hungover after Onions retirement drinks
My wife did say she saw him crawling all over some poor girl in a corner later in the evening.
That'll be the one..
How I managed to get any sleep with them two squealing about Well'ard in the bed next to me all night I'll never know.. he didn't even offer to make me a coffee in the morning..
The cad..
I stole money from a bank
i'v been seduced by the energy drink forum and the skittles advert, as i sit here and drink my can of red bull and eat my skittles. I never buy them!!!
I hate the scum.