"Smart" Dishwashers - what's the point?

I've got a WiFi enabled tumble dryer. I get a message when the clothes are dry and can WhatsApp my children to empty it before I get home. Annoying teenagers is a killer app!

You can now combine it with a web cam:

put a tin of tuna in the bottom, wait for next door's cat to come sniffing before it devours the entire flock of baby Robins which have been frolicking in your garden or fertilises your begonias and bam, set off the dishwasher.

I've a smart tumble drier. It appears I could use the app to program it and then wave my phone near the dryer to set the program - I'm not sure what this gives me over just turning the dial....

If it could message me once it's finished that would be useful

Perhaps useful if you have one of those variable tarrifs so you can switch it on when electricity is cheapest. Seems like a fringe case though, although in the future might be useful as some kind of load smoothing thing.

Probably not worht the extra money over a dishwasher with a timer just now though.

Mine messages the local fire brigade that it's about to burst into flames, thusly saving me precious minutes

If it emptied itself that would be smart.

I’ve got a WiFi enabled tumble dryer. I get a message when the clothes are dry and can WhatsApp my children to empty it before I get home. Annoying teenagers is a killer app!

Yep, I wish our washing machine would text me when it has finished....

I also have a smart dishwasher, the novelty of changing the interior light colour wore off quite quickly!

erm - that’s about it. Oh other than resetting the time when we have a power cut…

I was expecting it to have a feature that sent you a nagging message if you hadn't emptied it within a few hours, or if you didn't rinse the plates enough before putting them in.

'Smart' is as overused as 'AI' in my experience.

And no, I have never connected my washing machine to the app to 'download exclusive wash programmes', even though someone spent some of their life deciding that a washing machine should be connected to an app and the internet.

We have a smart dishwasher, mid-range Bosch, the wifi-connected bit was unexpected but quite cool as I am into home automation. The main use seems to be people tying it in with solar generation so it runs when you have excess. Obviously you could also get it to run if you have a cheaper tariff at some point. Otherwise it notifies you when it's finished, and when it considers it needs to run a "machine clean" cycle. You could also tell it when you stock up on tabs and it would remind you before you run out! Marginal gains, innit.

Yep, I wish our washing machine would text me when it has finished….

I was expecting it to have a feature that sent you a nagging message if you hadn’t emptied it within a few hours, or if you didn’t rinse the plates enough before putting them in

I think that's known as wifey connected

It's a bit odd, isn't it.

I have various smart devices dotted about and it's convenient to tell Alexa to turn on the stairs lights when I have my hands full, or to turn off the TV after I've gone upstairs and changed my mind about going back down again.

But a dishwasher? I suppose there's a logic to running it overnight when power may be cheaper or something. But is what you need there not simply "a timer"?

Our washing machine isn't smart but I can set a 3/6/9 hour delay on the start so I can time its operation to end when one of us is around to empty it rather than having damp clothes sat there for hours and needing washing again. I don't think damp dishes are a thing...

Washing machine is potentially slightly useful as you can load it and then start it remotely so it's just finished when you get home or something. About once or twice I've considered doing that - but never have.

However a smart oven would be great. I would love to be able to put something in then start it when we're on our way home; but smart ovens are the ones that cost many hundreds more than dim ones unlike washing machines where it's widespread. I looked for them when ours broke but couldn't afford one.

Oh, for anyone who wants remote or timed functionality for something that doesn't have it - you can get stick on automatic button pushers that you can use for this purpose.

Washing machine is potentially slightly useful as you can load it and then start it remotely so it’s just finished when you get home or something.

But, as Cougar just said, you just need a delay timer for that.

Now, if the smart dishwasher gave you a score on the quality of loading, I would be all over that. I reckon I would get a steady 9.2 - 9.9/10 range but I'd be training hard for a 10/10.

My wife would get something like 4/10, kids would get -9,874,386/10 (give or take)

I’ve a Siemens smart dishwasher. It’s identical to the one we had at our last house but is now Wi-Fi connected.  It’s crap because when you turn it on, instead of having its brain branded into it saying “you’re a frikkin dishwasher, put this light on when you start up and nowt else” it goes “I’m a toaster, a toaster, a sandwich maker, a bowl of petunias, oh a dishwasher, can I have a IP address, oh I have to load the networking layer. Hold on…” except that is often too much for it and it’ll get stuck at the petunia level and freak out, needing the dishwasher equivalent of CTRL+Alt+Del. Meanwhile I’ve lost interest and retreated to the sofa, will probably fall asleep and fail to put it on or take the dog out.

My house is littered with smart kit. But I refuse to engage with smart white goods.

Similar concept to the petzl headtorches that can be controlled with a phone app...

Out for walk in the pissing rain, take phone out of pocket, fingerprint log-in doesn't work as fingers are wet. Log into (now soaking) phone, open app and adjust light intensity. Put wet phone into now wet pocket and continue walk.

Alternatively, just reach up, press button on torch to change light intensity and continue walking

Bonkers...

I'm the smart dishwasher in our house! 😎 😎

I’ve a Siemens smart dishwasher. It’s identical to the one we had at our last house but is now Wi-Fi connected.  It’s crap because when you turn it on

It doesn't even have a display on it - only a row of red LEDs - which actually is another benefit I've just thought of! No display to go wrong, all settings etc done via app, much simpler 😃

Yep, I wish our washing machine would text me when it has finished….

the bodge here is to use a power-sensing smart plug to let you know when the machine has been on

I just use my ears! Benefit of an old washing machine and a small house. I’m clearly not the target audience for smart tech though. Gave up on voice controlled lights. Have small kids who love to flip light switches. The not so smart Alexa and Hue then say “There is more than one device named living room ceiling” and then have the smart equivalent of a nervous breakdown. Easier to switch off whilst walking passed.

I've got a "smart" washing machine.
It's quite useful to be able to set the delay timer for a specific finish time (and then adjust that time remotely) rather than just a "delay number of hours". Only so I can set it so that that it finishes just before I get home from work or just before I get out of bed rather than have to wait for it, or have clothes sitting waiting for a while.

A pretty (extremely) marginal benefit. Oh, it does send a notification when it's done which is also handy. Can't say I would have paid extra for the "smart" element.

When I first bought a dishwasher, I was astounded at how long they took to wash.

At that time I was only used to industrial versions, though not just the gigantic ones, the last butchers i was in we had a small single tray. It took 3 minutes, to a maximum of 7 minutes. Temperature is about 85c, so we could sterilize knives etc in it.

Of course these ones use separate wash chemicals that come in 5ltr containers and sit under the machine, but still, I just couldn't believe that they have wash cycles of 1-2 hours.

the point?  to separate folk from their money?

I think rather than a delay timer, the benefit to a smart dishwasher, or any appliance for that matter, would be that you could set it to go overnight. Then, when there are intermittent sources of generation e.g. renewable wind energy  that may not typically be used overnight as the energy demand is low and already covered by other baseload, those appliances could be then run 'smartly' to make the most of wind energy. Or alternatively, as mentioned above, to smooth the demand over the whole night, rather than just being switched on when everyone goes to bed (probably mostly between 9-11).

Errmmm -is the advice not to run dishwashers and washing machines when you are asleep?  I know someone who did this and had a major house fire.

The main use seems to be people tying it in with solar generation so it runs when you have excess.

I would actually find this really quite helpful.

pi detects high solar production, send a message to IFTTT which in turn tells the Machine to start.

I already use this method to control the electric underfloor heating.

See also a WiFi oven.... I could switch that on remotely before I left* the pub/beach so food was ready when we got back to the house.

* Literally could be any time.

When I first bought a dishwasher, I was astounded at how long they took to wash.

We had this at work. The culprit was "Eco" mode. A regular wash took minutes, an Eco wash was still running the next morning.

I’m the smart dishwasher in our house! 😎 😎

Well, you're the dishwasher, don't get smug.

Errmmm -is the advice not to run dishwashers and washing machines when you are asleep? I know someone who did this and had a major house fire.

We've (STW) had this conversation before. It's sensible to be careful of course, but I reject the notion that white goods spontaneously combust if the moon is out. You don't stick the washing machine on and then stand in the kitchen watching it for two hours do you? (That's the cat's job.)

NO - but if I'm awake I would notice the smell of burning more quickly than if I was asleep and would be able to deal with it / escape more quickly.  washing machines and dishwashers are a source of house fires.

So presumably you always stay in when the dishwasher or washing machine is on?

washing machines and dishwashers are a source of house fires.

As are candles, ovens, open fires, electric heaters, plugs, sockets, chargers, any form of damaged wiring, etc, etc.

the point? to separate folk from their money?

There's probably a degree of truth in this. I'd perhaps have phrased it as "because people will buy it."

I'm getting increasingly cross to the point of "I'm going to build a website" levels of vexation about bullshit advertising. My other half watches these intellectually bankrupt "bottom half of the Internet" TV channels about bridezillas and their pissy friends / mothers etc going "well, you're fat" and so forth. The adverts are all Voiceover Man going "80% of women agree!" and the small print at the bottom says they've surveyed an increasingly small group and I'm sure companies like L'Oreal can afford to interview more than 60 women for their international advertising campaign and how many surveys do they throw away and what even does "agree" mean anyway? "Did this pot of gloop make you feel like you'd put some gloop on your face?" - "Yes!" Quick, get on the phone to Marketing.

Companies will sell any old shit to anyone who's willing to buy any old shit.

NO – but if I’m awake I would notice the smell of burning more quickly than if I was asleep and would be able to deal with it / escape more quickly. washing machines and dishwashers are a source of house fires.

What you need there is a smoke alarm. HTH.

So presumably you always stay in when the dishwasher or washing machine is on?

Yes - both only go on if I am in and awake.  As I said a friend of mine had a near miss with this.  . Just got out of the house in time

cougar - no smoke alarms in the kitchen.  heat detectors

So presumably you always stay in when the dishwasher or washing machine is on?

I don't suppose, even should it catch fire, he needs to escape the house when he's not in though.

NO – but if I’m awake I would notice the smell of burning more quickly than if I was asleep and would be able to deal with it / escape more quickly

Broadly irrelevant though as the exit will be blocked by the cargo bike inconsiderately locked to the bike rack someone installed at a jaunty angle at the bottom of the stairwell.

don’t suppose, even should it catch fire, he needs to escape the house when he’s not in though.

This is the conundrum though.... Do you stay in the house when running the devices that might make it all burny (this putting yourself in danger), or leave the house which is 100% safer (but then you wouldn't know if your house had got all burny)?

Surely the safest thing is to always run them when you're not in?

..... Or do the washing yourself.

To be safe you should power off everything when you’re at home. When I watch a film I do it from the road looking in from the outside. Safety first.

cougar – no smoke alarms in the kitchen. heat detectors

Yeah, whatever. Don't you live in a flat? Isn't there some sort of interconnected fire system? What happens if your downstairs neighbour's appliances get all explody?

Yeah having known 2 families who suffered house fires lately (one were lot were out & one lot in so had to escape!) I know I’d rather be out if it happened! Very unlikely you or FB could put it out quick enough to save house contents even if alerted straight away.

Some good laughs here - ta chaps  🙂

"Yeah, whatever. Don’t you live in a flat? Isn’t there some sort of interconnected fire system? What happens if your downstairs neighbour’s appliances get all explody?"

downstairs is offices with a full on mains operated commercial grade fire system with a sounder in the small stair to the top flats.  MY flat has old skool smoke detectors - needs to be upgraded.

But, as Cougar just said, you just need a delay timer for that.

Only if you know when you're going to be home.

When I watch a film I do it from the road looking in from the outside. Safety first.

Best done through the neighbours' children's bedroom window as you're likely to end up being provided free room and board too.

Or do the washing yourself.

Kitchen taps are a known source of flooding so no.

Only if you know when you’re going to be home.

Overnight, obviously.

Only if you know when you’re going to be home.

Needing the washing done just as you get home whilst not knowing when you're going to be home is surely an edge case?

What if you don’t know when you’re going to be home and your phone battery dies? There’s a 9,000% chance of the washing spontaneously combusting if left in the machine for longer than necessary. Best to be safe, sell the house and move in to a cave with no electricity, mains gas, water or WiFi