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I suppose I'd class this guy as a mate, but not a close one. Not someone I'd have a heart to heart with...
Anyway, most of my insight into his life is through Facebook, even though he lives 100yds away. My daughter and his are friends.
He has weight issues and I guess confidence issues. I've tried to help him with lifestyle changes, but although he'll listen, pays lip service and does his own thing.
This aside, he shouts out for a lot of attention on Facebook. Always got an ailment or injury - like every day. He claims to be bipolar and likes telling the world about it. I'm beginning to wonder if the injuries he posts pictures of on Facebook are in fact self harm.
This all culminated yesterday in him asking for advice on Facebook whilst he waited for medical advice as he'd slit his wrists. He hadn't, but someone called an ambulance and he was declared as being ok. Today come the outpourings of thanks for people supporting him and he is available for home visits if anyone wants to come round.
The saddest part is that his daughters saw all this nonsense and are distraught. The guy is obviously messed up, but I'm not sure in what way and to what degree. I don't suppose there's much involvement I can have to rectify the situation and if I'm honest, I don't really know how to feel about the way he's acting.
Erm, you're thinking about this way too much... are YOU ok? 😉 'Unfriend'.
Brave crew leaving him on scene...
It sounds as if he had mental capacity and a scenario was escalated. Irrespective of this I generally strongly advise patients in this situation to see the on call psych to screen his mental health slightly further than would have been possible on scene.
If only to cover my backside
If he lives 100yards away from you yet you only know him through Facebook then that suggests to me you know the answer i'm going to give you, unless you are willing to commit a considerable amount of your free time into pandering to him and his mental illness with no happy outcome - it sounds like he'll drain you of every emotion apart from frustration and anger.
He needs medical/psychological assessment as above, walk away from him.
This sounds really callous but not your problem . I genuinely doubt you can do anything to make his life better . I can make up ideas about what his issues are but unqualified opinion based on second hand info on the internet is worthless.
Make sure your kids are always OK support and help his give them a grounded point of reference and advise. Tell him his posts concern you suggest that he needs support and advise him to discuss why these things happen with his GP . full stop do not take on the burden of his life it will drag you down .
Unfollow his feed?
somafunk - MemberIf he lives 100yards away from you yet you only know him through Facebook then that suggests to me you know the answer i'm going to give you, unless you are willing to commit a considerable amount of your free time into pandering to him and his mental illness with no happy outcome - it sounds like he'll drain you of every emotion apart from frustration and anger.
He needs medical/psychological assessment as above, walk away from him.
Exactly this. He needs to check himself in somewhere for a while until they can get him the correct medication.
Maybe he's just pulling your chain. You shouldn't believe everything you read on Facebook.
Are his kids safe? I'd always make.a vulnerable child referral at work if dealing with a parent who attempts suicide/deliberate self harm, they may need some support.
Tiz a sad fact but i have foolishly tried to help a few folk in the past with similar issues, they turned my life upside down, inside out and i didn't know whether or not i was coming or going, phone calls in the middle of the night telling me they have taken a shiteload of pills, or they are slitting their wrists as there is no point etc…etc…
It may sound callous to some (as crank boy points out) but unless you have been through the wringer to such an extent that you end up sitting with your head in your hands wishing that they would just **** end it so you could get some peace and your life back then i guess they wouldn't understand where i'm coming from, I have zero time and patience for such issues anymore, maybe that's callous but that's my descision.
The answer to the question the OP is asking it's RUN, RUN NOW, RUN AS HARD AS YOU CAN as the question was never about the friend, it was about the OP.
And TBH I would be exactly the same, those that can handle the amount of need these people require deserve a [s]medal[/s] pay rise!
Christ, is internet attention seeking now a medical condition? IAS?
Hell of a lot of idiots have it.
Do what ^^ they said.
Have a childhood friend like this. Constantly ill according to her posts (she's not). As are her children with all sorts of weird ailments that the nhs are too incomprtant to deal with (they're both not). I got fed up of reading the tirade of fantastical elaborations shed concoct and simply blocked her from my fb feed.
Show some human compassion but try not to get to involved. There's a fine line to be trod between stigmatizing those with mental health issues and it interfering with your own life.
See if the chap has some support, tell GP office/police that you think he's a danger to himself and/or others, make sure the daughters feel safe, then extricate yourself from the situation.
Whatever the hell happened to communities caring for each other I do not know.
Great advice above. Un-follow or un-friend him, take care of your kids and be an example of a normal human for his daughters.
Good luck, weapons grade attention whores are an utter pain in the ass, but he isn't your responsibility.
I really don't know of any genuine long term benefits that Faceboll#cks offers to any body. For every happy sharey post of united family and friends keeping in touch there are about 10 families who aren't speaking to each other, fallen out and who now hate each other.
''Show some human compassion but try not to get to involved. There's a fine line to be trod between stigmatizing those with mental health issues and it interfering with your own life.
See if the chap has some support, tell GP office/police that you think he's a danger to himself and/or others, make sure the daughters feel safe, then extricate yourself from the situation.
Whatever the hell happened to communities caring for each other I do not know.''
Good post.
While he clearly has issues, is there much harm in seeing if he'd go for a cycle or do something in the outdoors?
I guess it depends on how effectively you can maintain some kind of boundary, but there might be some middle ground to be had?
It does sound like he could be stressful, though.
Don't unfreind.
Simply being normal, saying hello when it is appropriate, a smile, a 'hope you are well' is no effort and can mean the world. Really, just be normal.
Move house and areas and save your daughter and yourself from that attention shite!
I've tried to help him with lifestyle changes
Carry on with that. At the end of the day it's down to him, just accept that indisputable fact.
I would also strongly advise him that he needs help with his issues from people much better qualified than yourself.
You consider him a mate, even if not a close one, there's no need to slam the door on his face. But accept your limitations.