It’s just work, you should be able to have a healthy relationship with work colleagues without feeling you have to touch them. I haven’t touched any of my female staff and I’m fairly sure none of us are the poorer for it.
I'm reading some complete shite on here as advice ..dont shake hands ffs..how the hell can that be derived as sexual harassment ..are you also frightened of your own shadow ?
It’s just work, you should be able to have a healthy relationship with work colleagues without [s]feeling you have to touch them[/s] them feeling that physical contact is some sort of sexual advnace.
But work is part of life. (Some) people naturally touch others: Clearly it requires people who are able to read a social context. I should add that I am not particularly touchy myself, but I don't go around with this sort of fear of my colleagues.
I motorboated my colleague yesterday but only after she spanked my arse, so that makes it ok.
tjagain - Member
25 years ago I was accused of sexual harassment by a junior colleague. NO official complaint was made but it was reported to my boss. She didn't tell me for over a year.
Completely unprofessional behaviour on the part of your boss.
Some people are very touchy feely, some aren't.
Just talk to your colleagues, we do and and just clears the air.
Be honest with people.
I've a colleague who regularly slaps backsides, insists on plaiting my hair and has the filthiest sense of humour.
It's fine because we talk about it and all know there is absolutely no intent to offend.
She knows who enjoys it and who doesn't and behaves appropriately.
If anyone does act in an unprofessional manner, it's dealt with properly, safeguarding applies equally to staff.
Very lucky to have excellent colleagues and manager.
My kind of woman.. 😆
Edit ..and it would be taken in the manner in which it was intended ..as a bit of harmless fun
you should be able to have a healthy relationship with work colleagues without feeling you have to touch them
Ever worked behind a busy bar?
You constantly touch each other on the hip, arm or shoulder to avoid crashing into each other whilst serving. It's just natural communication.
Okay it's different in an office environment, but we're not talking about walking up to Amanda from accounts and stroking her thighs here. We're talking about shaking hands FFS.
Personally if someone walked into a meeting and only shook hands with the men then I'd think he was a right arse.
GrahamS - Member
Do Not touch other people. Regardless of gender, age etc. Stay at arm distance. Not even shaking hands if possible unless they offer
I don't think that is a healthy way to live at all.
In my part of the world hand shake with other gender is not encouraged.
I think I probably did not get the job because I shook the hands (offer my hand) of my country women (of other strict religious denomination) and I remember both the interviewers (women) pulled their hands away immediately when the hands touched ... for one second. i.e. grab and let go kind of hand shake. I only realised my mistake later on. (forgot where I was ... ) If that was in front of their male counterpart I/we(interviewers) would all be in trouble.
😆
[quote=GrahamS ]Personally if someone walked into a meeting and only shook hands with the men then I'd think he was a right arse.Surely the new world order would mean avoiding shaking hands at all.
sexual harrassment? try wearing a kilt on a night out in newcastle.
If you remove all the perks from positions of power then who is going to want the jobs?
try wearing a kilt on a night out in newcastle.
That is definitely "asking for it" territory! No jury would convict. 🙂
😆gobuchul - Member
try wearing a kilt on a night out in newcastle.
That is definitely "asking for it" territory! No jury would convict.
How do these avoid all physical contact "stay at arm distance" cultures cope with things like taking public transport, standing in a crowd, going to a busy bar, getting in a crowded lift etc?
I agree with what chip and funkmasterp said.
Some people don't like any touchy-feely contact but calling this sexual harassment is a bit far fetched.
Some people don't like any touchy-feely contact but calling this sexual harassment is a bit far fetched.
It's a gateway grope.
[quote=ChubbyBlokeInLycra ]sexual harrassment? try wearing a kilt on a night out in newcastle.
Or anywhere actually . I once had a woman come up to me and simply place her camera underneath ,from behind, and take a pic
I asked what her reaction would be if i did the same
I asked what her reaction would be if i did the same
Steady now Junky! You sound just like GT! 😀
OUCH 😀
It's not complicated! When it comes to physical contact, if you'd not do it to a dude, then you don't do it with a woman. So pretty much, shaking hands is about it.
Women adopt the same approach but are more tactile by nature, so I don't scream "HELP" if I get my arm squeezed.
Then everyone can carry on flirting the day away, as that's just how life is.
[quote=bearnecessities ]Women adopt the same approach but are more tactile by nature, Dood. Sexist!
Blatant victim blaming
It's not complicated! When it comes to physical contact, if you'd not do it to a dude, then you don't do it with a woman.
😆
What if they are gender fluid?if you'd not do it to a dude, then you don't do it with a woman
A mop?
What about the flash?
What if they are gender fluid?
That's what happens if I touch someone.
scotroutes - Member
What about the flash?
Possibly acceptable for consenting adults but probably best saved for later.
🙂
I'm going minimalist.
a female colleague high fived me last week. I feel used. Don’t even get me started on the time we were really bored and we had a thumb war.
I feel vindicated.
I do love you guys. Sincerely I love this place. It can get pretty crappy at times but it always comes good in the end.
geetee1972 - Member
I feel vindicated
A different day, a different OP and a different use of language. I do sometimes feel the latter lets you down.
I do sometimes feel the latter lets you down.
You're very right. I score very low on 'politeness' even though I am very compassionate so I temd to favour 'raw truth' over sugar coated diplomacy.
It's a very common male trait more so with the engineering types (of which I am not one).
It's nothing to do with politeness, compassion or diplomacy. I think it's that you often over-state/exaggerate your opinion, which leads you into conflict when folk point out your inaccuracies. Interesting that you try to excuse it by suggesting it's common rather than to look more at your communication skills though. This forum is almost exclusively male yet you stand out (with a few others TBF).
Anyway, let's try not to make this another thread about you.
Anyway, let's try not to make this another thread about you.
No let's make it about you instead.
Your problem is that you're almost certainly an underachiever who feels intimidated by a superior intellect and anyone who is clearly more successful in life than you are. You're using this whole debate as a way to try and compensate for that; in some strange way, you're demeaning your own gender because you feel inadequate as a man.
Got it in one, though your use of the phrase "almost certainly" makes you look terribly indecisive.
Popcorn.gif
Away and don't talk pish.Your problem is that you're almost certainly an underachiever who feels intimidated by a superior intellect and anyone who is clearly more successful in life than you are. You're using this whole debate as a way to try and compensate for that; in some strange way, you're demeaning your own gender because you feel inadequate as a man.
There are now going to be huge claims for compo, loss of career prospects, failed relationships etc going to come out of this alledged abuse, to make a caseand some sympathy from those around them, just no touching.
Thing is once any sort of abuse is mention it sticks to the one whos seen as the perpetrator, even though they where totally innocent.
I don't think this applies to the rich and powerfull.Thing is once any sort of abuse is mention it sticks to the one whos seen as the perpetrator, even though they where totally innocent.
You're very right. I score very low on 'politeness' even though I am very compassionate so I temd to favour 'raw truth' over sugar coated diplomacy.
Tinder Profile: "I tell it straight!"
I guess the blanket ban is there just to remove any grey areas
Reminiscent of when there was the hysteria about child abuse and it got to such an extent that teachers and school staff wouldn't give kids a hug when they fell over in the playground or were crying and upset.
It's strange and somewhat at odds with the prevalance of hugs all round that seemed to permeate every social interaction awhile back (something that I always felt uncomfotable with and did my best to avoid participating in ).
In the past as a line manager in interviews with staff I have on occasion put my hand on their forearm,both male and female to reassure them when they were clearly distressed supplemented with me asking if they wanted me to get someone to come and give them some support.Also having been on the scene when helping people who have had falls or incidents in the street holding their hand or forearm for reassurance until the emergency services arrive feels like a natural thing to do.
I never send suggestive texts to anyone afterwards though!
I blame Adam Sandler.
Checkout girl in sainsburies just touched my hand! Fortunately she was hot, does my casual sexism cancel out her touching me?
Goddamn Adam Sandler, he’s so kneedy 😉
I'm far from being politically correct but I would / have never touched a female colleague other than shaking hands etc. Why would you? Its asking for trouble and risking causing offence. But then I'm not a very touchy feelie person.
As for bumping into people on crowded public transport / pubs etc well that is clearly different although best not to rub yourself against anyone too suggestively.
And I have never allowed myself to go to the pub / cafe with a female colleague on a one to one basis. I was told about that 20 years ago and thought it a bit OTT but nonetheless took the advice.
