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What about tossing off to grot?
Is this a question or a suggestion?
Going OT for a bit - "junk", "grot" ... what does this tell you about people's values.
what does this tell you about people’s values.
Not a lot. Suggests they have a sense of humour.
Not sure it's been linked, but for context:
https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/thinking-of-leaving-girlfriend-or-rather-will-be-leaving/
Is she fit? I wouldn’t mind some bikini photos...
Sit down with her and talk like adults? Maybe she wants out and left the phone knowing you’d look at it. Alternatively keep borrowing her phone and send increasingly absurd texts to the bloke in Oz.
yourguitarhero
Member
Send him a pic of your Wang.I’m probably not very good at this
Actually I think you are spot on. I would have sent a nice knob shot to the guy, that would have brought it to a front.
Life is so simple ... get the woman’s phone , initiate contact with oz dude posing as herself. Tell him you’ve just given birth to a bouncing little girl and he’s the dad .... depending on reply you will then know if she was only sending bikini pics 👍
In my experience, your setting yourself up for an argument because you have to admit to searching her phone. Here's what I would do .
Go to her mum all upset and apologised profusely as you borrowed her phone and in doing so read a message which you know is so wrong and you've made a big mistake. Be very sad. Tell mum the story and that you don't know what to do next .
If there relationship is like most mums and daughters she'll send you on your idiot way BUT she will now take this up with your wife. After all, she invested in your relationship with her daughter, so she thinks enough of you to chat to your wife and give her a verbal ear clipping most likely .
After Mum and daughter have spoken. Likely your wife will come to you with an admission and an apology of sorts, or she'll propose a split with mum helping to fund a solution .
Try that .
I was in a similar situation a while back. I'd get your mum to write you a letter saying that the £8k is a loan to be paid back in due course. If/when you sell the house, the £8k is recoverable and you have a 50/50 split on the final sale.
All the very best, I hope everything works out for you - and go with your gut instinct!
I guess life just hasn’t been the same since you had those ensuite bathrooms.
Does the new house still have a menagerie?
Don't do what kryton suggests. That's some weak play that is, man up and be direct.
Don’t do what kryton suggests. That’s some weak play that is
Yup.
I'm amazed he even suggested that course of action..
Don’t do what kryton suggests.
*Do* do what Kryton suggests, or at least the first part. "I've looked at your phone and I want to dump you because you're phone cheating" is going to lead to an argument. (She can come back with "You shouldn't look at my phone" and 'messaging isn't cheating". She can also promise to change and make things even harder.)
Least said better. "It's not working out, bye." Far harder to argue with that. Just get out with the least possible squabbling.
Except I don't think the OP is leaving. He'll be back in three years with "Now I'm married to her with 2 young kids and I still want to get out."
I’m amazed he even suggested that course of action..
Because her mum has paid £8k and is invested in the relationship financially and emotionally, and will be received far better when wifey is told what a silly girl she's been from Mum rather than the OP.
Or **** it, go home and accuse her of cheating, add a bit of shouting and google Jeremy Kyles number. That'll be sure to end well.
His mum.
Read the OP again Kryton.
Or **** it, go home and accuse her of cheating, add a bit of shouting and google Jeremy Kyles number. That’ll be sure to end well
If we'd reached the stage where my missus was sending pics to a bloke, i don't want it to end well... I want it to end with her bags on the doorstep.
Read the OP again Kryton.
Oh. His Mum.
I retract everything I said, time for a new patio OP.
OP I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in, sounds pretty bad. Having said that you had all these issues a year ago, and you still bought a house together..?
Split, sell the house, give your mum her money back. It'll take some time to sort stuff out (that you should've done a year ago) but in 6 months time this will all be a memory, and you can get on with your life.
EDIT: There doesn't have to be a big bust up, you don't have to tell her why you want to split, or reveal that you know about the phone messages; just tell her it's not working out, and that you want the relationship to be over.
^^^^ This times 1000. For your own sake move on man, and don’t look back.
Save your number into the phone under his name, continue saucy texts, report back...
I’d get your mum to write you a letter saying that the £8k is a loan to be paid back in due course
The terms of the agreement exist before any such letter is written and it wouldn't mean much in court.
Kick her out and get a lodger
from experience - it's not the 'act', it's the will to act that causes the damage to trust. I had this twice with my ex-wife, two different things with 5 years apart, and those were the ones I knew about. We limped along for ten years after that, but ultimately trust was irrevocably broken.That is no basis for a relationship, let alone a marriage with kids involved. What I learned is you can 'get over' the specific thing or act, but I could never come to terms with the fact that she had the will to do it, not once, but twice. That tells me all sorts - but mostly for whatever reason she felt the need to look elsewhere.
As has been said many times on here, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. Personally at 45 years old I realised I faced a life in a shit marriage making compromises, or I could turn the page and start a new chapter. It has already turned out to be an utter revelation, and changed my life for the better. Some people say 'relationships/marriages are supposed to take work' - bullshit. If it isn't working naturally and effortlessly, you're actually working to compensate for some issue in the relationship that you are not admitting to, and that will cost you in someway, generally your happiness and self-worth.
Good luck
fact is she's done this twice now, people don't change they just become better versions at what they do. Voice of experience here. Get out now as longer you leave it harder it will become, it will be tough no doubting that. And she will do it again if you stay, as it's in her nature. All the best
Do you suspect he may have didgered her doo ?
eople don’t change they just become better versions at what they do
disagree here.. Of course they do.
I cheated on plenty of girls in my past, but have never even considered cheating on Mrs Weeksy... However, using our logic, i must have done (or likely would do)
People change....
I'm not convinced for a second she's on that potential change list..... but people can.
Maybe you always tried to be faithful and just got better at it?
Kick her out and get a lodger
I honestly read that first as 'kick her out and get a badger'!
You and me both!
I honestly read that first as ‘kick her out and get a badger’!
Me too. Best advice so far.
If the 8k was a gift, she can claim 50/50, if it was a loan it can be retrieved.
If you're married and she's older than you in divorce proceedings she gets a bigger chunk (mad I know but true).
It could be argued that if she's mentally playing around (with a 3D person, not pron) she has mentally left you already.
Anxiety and mistrust in relationships destroys both the relationship and it destroys you.
Kick her out and get a lodger
I read that as get a badger and was pondering how that'd help.
Sorry to say OP. I would leave the relationship. You are 32 - all your life ahead of you.
Sell the house and get your mums money back. Then get on with the rest of your life. Life’s too short to waste time with people you can’t trust.
If you did get a Badger there would be mushroom
A SNAKE! A SNAKE! A snake. A snake.
Badgerbadgerbadgerbadger etc ad infinitum
Kick her out and get a lodger
Kick her clout and kick his todger
Plot twist: OP is now under the patio.
You sound nice.
I think it’s fair to say here that the op is royally pissed off and this should now be coming to a head (scuse the pun which isn’t meant to be).
I would tell her what’s what and that sorry luv, you have since forfeited your portion of the roof over your head.
I can lend you a set of CAT boots and a Ti handlebar to “finish her”.
😝