[Closed] Recommend me a horrible car

As above, if you want a truly horrible car, go for a peugeot of some description. Here's my hire car review of a 308

[i]Peugeot Estate 308 SW
Concious that they had given me the best car they had last week, the rental compaby quickly made sure they delivered the worst they had in the garage this week. Read all about it below.

On delivery bits that didn’t work were…
Windscreen washer pump.
Passenger elecric window.
The gearbox. (I say it was broken on delivery, it actually changed gear but there was a significant delay between moving the stick to the appropriate position, and the gearbox actually feeling like it had got there – so it must have been broke in some way)
The engine. I dunno, maybe three cylinders weren’t firing, it’s the only explanation I can find for such a weak piece of shit.

Things that broke while it was being driven….
The MPG readout would vary from 15 to 999 with 17 other numbers inbetween in a 5 second period and then jam on 47mpg. This would not change unless I cycled through the options upon it would do the same and then stop on 47mpg again. NO MATTER HOW HARD I WAS PUSHING THE ACCELERATOR.
The radio. It was shit to start with but after about ten minutes it forgot how to find radio stations and no matter what I did, would only flick it’s way through the entire radio spectrum before stopping on 95.4 church radio leaving me with approximately 10 more hours sat in a car with no music.
The fuel gauge.
And something kept making a weesh sound near the back of the car.

Things that were just crap anyway……
Switch gear. Made out of soft cheese.
Turning circle. Fair enough, it’s an estate but really, I’m sure you should be able to manouver it into a space at ASDA a bit easier than with an 11 point turn. I drove a transit van today for a few hours and that was more manouverable.

Things that were good about it…
errm…
um……
Aah! You could see a lot of stuff out of the windows.
I got to give it back to the hire company when I got home.[/i]

So far no-one's mentioned the Octavia. Lovely car, [i]very[/i] comfortable on long runs, with the back seats down there's a HUGE boot, tho' an estate would be even better. The 1.9 TDi is very economical, on steady A-road and motorway runs, sticking to limits, I've had over 60/gallon, 63.4 on a Sunday morning trip from Chippenham to services on the M25, about 120 miles. There's a good reason why most taxi drivers seem to use them. If you can find one, a Superb would be even better. My Octi's a 51 plate.

hora - Member

Spey Stout - Member
Buy my 1989 Sciricco, £400 posted.

No no no, evil man

DO IT!!!!

Yup, definately an octavia is on the cards too though looking at autotrader mondeos seem to price up a little better.

Older shape Nissan Primera. They are battle buses that will never die 🙂

The Multipla is ace

No it's not. It's shit. It really is. My mate picks me up when we go to footy; I get him to park a few streets away, because I'm so embarrassed to be seen getting in or out of it. His missus made him buy it, when they had a kid. It replaced a Golf. He bought a Fiat Multipla, to replace a Golf. He tried defending it, when he first bought it, but I don't take the piss any more, because I know he's upset over it.

It's a shit car, looks shit, and is a shit design. You can't get **** all in it without taking most of the seats out, it's slow as bastards, cheap and plasticky, and really uncomfortable.

It truly is one of the shittest cars ever made.

Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.

[b]Astra estates are at the smaller end and won't take a bike whole[/b]

Bollocks. An Astra hatchback will take a bike whole if you are careful.

Astra estates

My own experience having just bought a Car with a £4000ish budget is that Golfs, Astras and Focus's are overp[riced. As they're what wvereyone buys you can get more value fro money by going a bit left of the field and buying something less common.

I ended up with an 03 Almera with 41000 miles on the clock for a little over my budget and my shonky, very shonky crosa in part ex. Shop around and with your budgte buying privately may be better, espeically if you have no car to trade in (I bought from a dealer mainly to dispose of my corsa easily). I'd try and offer advice but I have a mate whose int cars and views shopping for cars as recreation so my knowledge is limited as he soon gets involved.

My uncle is selling his friends Laguna (guy had to go home due to some serious family reasons and didn't have enough time to sell the car), it's either 02 or 03 plate, 1.8 petrol, just had a new 12 months MOT put on it and apparently all works fine on it + had new tyres on the front. Looks tidy and in good condition. I think he would let it go for £1400 or somewhere around that as it takes the space on his drive. If interested mail me and I can get more details.

I saw the car and it looks very nice, loads of space inside. However it is a Renault but apparently this one still works fine 🙂 He's in Edinburgh, just opposite Portobello High School.

Coyote - Member
Bollocks. An Astra hatchback will take a bike whole if you are careful.

I really hope you don't talk to people like that in real life.

I had an Astra estate and it wouldn't take my Ibis mojo (medium) unless I took the front wheel off. Unless you have put exactly the same bike into exactly the same car, you can't say it's bollocks. Factdiddlyact. 😀

coyote said you had to be careful, which means buying the right bike. 😉

I've got a large Langster into the back of an astra hatchback with both wheels on.

actual he says "a bike" he doesn't mention its size so he's right, a bit rude but right.

I had an Astra estate and it wouldn't take my Ibis mojo (medium) unless I took the front wheel off.

Back seats down or up?

I really hope you don't talk to people like that in real life

8)

hora - Member
Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.

Back at the beginning you said passat estates were a bit on the small side? my parents old y-reg got taken to morzine last summer by me. on the way back I got 3 people, 3 bikes (quake, spicy, pitch) spare tyres, wheels toolbox, 3x luggage, 3x full face's all inside. going very quick for the second half of the journey to catch the ferry and still got 40mpg...
dunno what more you'd want?

You were after a horrible car? The thing is most people seem to just be recommending practical cars which are kind of OK. If it's horrible you're after, then how about a Zafira? Very definitely the nastiest modern "car" I've had the displeasure of having to drive.

ivantate - Member
The Multipla is ace. Unique [s]but other than frivilous parts falling off[/s] they are solid.

not very long though so 1 bike built will probably go diagonal in the back. In my old one we could easily get 3 people, 3 bikesv with wheels off and assorted gear. Not bad for a 4m long car.

Pondering another at moment.

Basically wot he said. They're gonna stop making them this year, so I'm thinking of buying a new one to replace my 5-yr old model. The absolute DB when it comes to carrying bikes. We had two bikes (complete) and one with a front wheel off in mine today - and that was leaving a rear seat in so we only had driver and one passenger up front.

They're gonna stop making them this year, so I'm thinking of buying a new one to replace my 5-yr old model.

Jesus wept.

Did you not, for just a moment, wonder why Fiat are going to stop making them? Clue: The answer's in my post above.

5 years old? You must have the really really ugly one then. 😯

Quite frankly you deserve everything you get.

Cars are so much about aesthetics. the Fiat multipla is hands down the most shitty pointless Fugly as sin car voted by ASDA Llandudno carpark staff 2009. We see a lot of cars and that is one really stupid shit looking motor. The only thumbs up, is that it isn't boring looking, like so many other cars.

subaru legacy estate diesel . Big, roomy, great MPG, cheap as chips, ultra reliable, 4wd, and understated so you can **** it up and you wouldn't care. inside aint great but who cares:)

subaru make some ugly cars for sure. not sure they qualify as horrible.

I know someone on here selling a Legnum VR4 for £3000. Very similar to this, but with sexier wheels:

[img] http://www.clubvr4.com/forum/vbpgimage.php?do=full&p=3455 [/img]

2.5L V6 twin turbo, and it's frickin' huge inside. It's a whole lot of car for not much money. Maybe a bit tasty on the insurance, but you never know: I've got a mildly modified one and I'm only paying £550 f/c and that's with zero ncb and the same company that paid me £2.5k after I performed a flawless high-speed pirouette/reverse dismount into trees in my MR2 Turbo last year (Sky Insurance).

Subaru are the only dealers who can charge you Audi servicing prices from shoddy/manky showrooms.

Legnum VR4 = yum.

I can't be arsed reading through all the replies so sorry if it's already been done but how about an [url= http://www.compucars.co.uk/used-cars/vauxhall/astra-van/for-sale/?1120851 ]Astravan[/url] (this isn't mine it's just one that turned up on google!)

Sky high mileage - I wouldn't pay more than £1500 for that. Not a bad idea but you can find better.

CountZero - Member

hora - Member
Buy an Octavia, then pop into M&S to pick up some jeans and a svelte new polo shirt to go with it.

Classic hora stereotyping.
Actually I was wearing Howies jeans and tee with a Raceface snowboarding coat and Oakley skateshoes today,
so what does that say about your stereotype?

Dunno about hora's comment, but from that description you [i]are[/i] a stereotype 😛

Stereotypical mountain biker, not so much Octi owner, just the most recent of a string of cars: two split-screen Minors, Talbot Horizon, Vauxhall Chevette, Nova, Puma 1.7, Octi.
If the OP wants a truly horrid car, then I can recommend, on personal experience, the most uncomfortable, lousy POS ever foisted onto an unsuspecting public. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
the Vauhall Vectra 1.8L. Boss had one as a lease for a while. I found out why Clarkson was so scathing. I'd be barely off the industrial estate before starting to wriggle around trying to find a comfortable spot, then having to spend several hours in extreme discomfort. It was an absolute slug, just bloody awful, so you ought to be able to pick up a W or X reg one for peanuts.

I've only ever been a passenger in a Vectra and that was a truly horrible experience.

I think the interior was designed by a Nazi.

"I know someone on here selling a Legnum VR4 for £3000. Very similar to this, but with sexier wheels"

On the one hand, I would absolutely love that, always did have a hankering for the so-ugly-it's-beautiful gallant/legnum. On the other hand, possibly not the [i]ideal[/i] first car Or for that matter the most economic. Still, want.

Legacy looks like another good shout, cheers raddogair, added to the list.

Don't think I want an actual van, in a lot of ways it's the sensible choice but it doesn't really appeal.

I'd go for an old-shape mondeo. its your first car, so you're fairly likely to ding it. The older mondeo bumpers (pre-2000) are made of the brittelest, thinest plastic imagineable, so you're less likely to damage other cars. I've had mine for 4 years - 99 plate diesel, picked it up for under a grand, with 125000 miles. Its now on 170000 miles and has been faultless. Starting to get a little rusty, but its had a hard life. You'd be able to pick up a mint, low mile, petrol (1.8 would be a good compromise, the diesel is economical but gruff and slow) one for £800 or so. I'd expect very good reliability for 2-3 years, and the plus side is if something really expensive goes wrong, you've only lost a maximum of £700 (cost price-scrap value)

Ive wanted a Legnum for about two years now 🙁

As it is, if you want a really shit car 8) Get a Skoda Felicia estate. Mines been absolutely amazing over the last year. few scrapes, an inch of mud on the boot floor (the rear seats never get put up) I loves it.

Felicia

Isn't that a sexual act? An arrestable offence if performed in a public place? 😯

On the one hand, I would absolutely love that, always did have a hankering for the so-ugly-it's-beautiful gallant/legnum. On the other hand, possibly not the ideal first car Or for that matter the most economic. Still, want.

Dammit, man! Are you buying with your heart or your head?

I'm pretty sure if you talk nicely to him, you'll get it for less. That'll go towards petrol, insurance, bike toys, etc.

Just like to point out that the insurance on a bigger car (mondeo, passat etc) coudl well be sky high if you have only just passed your test.

A previous generation 5-door Honda Civic would be sufficiently capacious yet sufficiently dull and reliable to be a safe choice. No, not a Type-R, a boring one. Not a Type-S either if you're a new driver and want cheap insurance. Most are owned by old people so a higher mileage one may be both cheaper and in better condition due to getting enough longer runs.

An old Primera would be suitably horrible. I loved my W reg diesel at the time, as it was the first new car I'd had (company) and it had climate control and leccy (front) windows. It was pretty decent for it's era, but quickly became dated and outclassed. It was dog slow too for a turbo diesel - 90bhp iirc. and wasn't without it's problems (head gasket).

What about a Mazda 6 Estate? I had a hatch and it was a great car - 2litre td 140bhp (look out as there are some 120bhp models about) and bags of torque. I had the TS2 model which is worth looking for as it has climate control, full electrics including partial control of drivers seat, electric sunroof, cruise control, traction control, stability control, steering wheel controls, 6 disc in dash autochanger, Bose amp, sub & speakers, leather trimmed bits.

[img] [/img]

I got an Avensis hatchback with under 50k miles inside your budget. Get a bike in with both wheels on easily. 1000s of taxi drivers cant be wrong.

Or an old transit or hiace.

Wow, I'd forgot about an Avensis when considering horrible cars. Dull, uninspiring and absolutely horrible to drive. I've driven three fairly new ones (< 5yrs old) and they were all horrendous.

I got an Avensis hatchback with under 50k miles inside your budget.

I own a 2001 Avensis. TIRED of the "bombproof" Subaru.

Lets see how it goes..

I bought a Citroen Xsara Diesel non turbo for 450 quid it's very slow great on fuel and not a bad sized estate