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No jokes, just the punchlines.
I'll start.
"No, you've got a skid mark on your forehead."
"Well this one's ok, but the other's got crackling in it"
one of those upside down............
"only the council would be stupid enough to put a sh£t hole next to a leisure center"
"my god," he said, "i've been marooned."
"Ee-aw, ee-aw, ee-always calls me that!"
"Jaysus, would you look at that Paddy. It's raining Datsun cogs!"
"I'll take 6 rounds of toast and make it brown."
'You aint here for the shooting are you?'
and
'**** off you red nosed ***t!'
"nah - the steaks are too high..."
DrP
Londonderry
thats my c#ck
Purple
No.
Why do you ask two-dogs-f*cking?
An erection
no, that means wrong hole!
hit it with an axe
A frog in a food blender
michael Jackson
As the actress said to the bishop
No I said "prick his boil"
Nut screws washers and bolts.
big artichokes three for a pound in morrison's.
'No, it says 'Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day!'
and
'Aye, and I'm barred from Tesco's as well....'
When we'd finished, my c**k was the shape of a giraffe
a stick
"Now where's this Eskimo woman you want me to wrestle?"
I've always thought theres a punchline that could have been approved upon...
When Winston Churchill did his ".....and you madam are ugly, but in the morning I'll be sober." he should have added "so, get your coat luv, you've pulled"
He wanted to be a conductor.
a dead epileptic
Nahh mate, he's a cyclepath!
No you're right, it's a doughnut
No no no... it's ice cream!
No, it's just snow.
fish, chimps and mushy bees.
"why the long face"
and St Paul said,
Yes, we have to punish the women as well
i didnt say you had big teeth!!
I said you were ****ing goofy.
'Donald Campbells' underpants.'
"......the Aristocrats!"
That strawberry
'To stop your hand sliding off.'
You slap his face, I'll steal his cigar.
no thanks I roll my own
Know it!!! I f*cking wrote it.