[Closed] Pointless questions sales staff ask you when shopping.

I get annoyed by robotic staff asking me if I have a loyalty card. I find a curt "I neither have nor want one" works well.

I use the self-service tills to avoid all human interaction. Of course, this means continually calling an assistant when the machine repeatedly accuses me of nicking stuff, but it's a price worth paying.

thegreatape - Member

McDonald's are the worst.

"Big Mac meal please"

"Is that a large meal?"

Look at me, johnny-no-stars, of course it's a large one.

[IMG] [/IMG]

"are you alwright there....?"

...from some gormless youth

I have found that the best response to
"sorry about your wait" is
"I know I'm looking a bit saggy round the middle but I'm hoping a better diet and more exercise will shift the worst of it" causes sufficient confusion and embarrassment 😀

Assistant "I'm sorry about your waiting"

Me, in Patrick McGoohan the Prisoner mode "I had a choice?"

"Thank you for waiting....you are an [b]important customer [/b]for us and a consultant (sic) will be with you are soon as possible....."

Do these buffoons not see the irony in these messages?

this is what shopping experiences should be like;

[img] [/img]

I assume most of you lot have never worked retail then?

Don't blame the minimum-wage till-monkeys for asking annoying questions, they're just doing what they have to do to keep their jobs. Having been there myself I try to be a nice as I can to the poor sods, it's mind-numbing drudgery, and it's not helped by miserable **** like you lot being all smartarse or grumpy. Just say "No thank you", it's not that difficult is it? 🙄

[Edit: Mr Murray's antics however are perfectly acceptable. Very entertaining. 😀 ]

wwaswas - that's awesome!

mintimperial - sorry but that's pretty tame

I have worked in retail and it would brighten my day a bit if I dealt with someone who appeared to think that the till/sales script was as daft as I though it was.

I assume most of you lot have never worked retail then?

I assume most of you lot have never worked retail then?

Don't blame the minimum-wage till-monkeys for asking annoying questions, they're just doing what they have to do to keep their jobs. Having been there myself I try to be a nice as I can to the poor sods, it's mind-numbing drudgery, and it's not helped by miserable **** like you lot being all smartarse or grumpy. Just say "No thank you", it's not that difficult is it?

+1
You might find that, behind the automatic scripted questions, they're actually quite decent people just trying to make a living.

Unless they're in telesales in which case, hanging up or leaving them on hold for 30 minutes is perfectly reasonable... 😉

I generally try not it mix with the sort of riff raff that fill such menial roles in society. If I do have to go into a shop I take someone with me to speak to them and explain that under no circumstance should the oik look directly at me.

Crazy-legs - but no-one is commenting on whether they are/are not decent people, its about their behaviour when at working. Perfectly OK for us to make that distinction especially when may seem to do that themselves!

Unless they're in telesales in which case, hanging up or leaving them on hold for 30 minutes is perfectly reasonable...

Never worked telesales but I know a few who have, one mate of mine says that people who put him on hold were his favourite because he could just sit there and stare into space.

Had the joyous experience of a quick visit to Sports Direct yesterday. There were two "sales consultants" at the door collecting money for sports relief. Actually surprisingly polite, ...."Excuse me sir....".

Then followed down the stairs by a lady saying to a friend, "That daft **** just called me sir!"

Whenever I buy a 'Subway Melt' from Subway, they always ask me if I want it toasted and whether I want cheese.

It wouldn't be much of a melt without cheese, and it needs some heat to melt the cheese 🙁

TurnerGuy - Member

Whenever I buy a 'Subway Melt' from Subway, they always ask me if I want it toasted and whether I want cheese.

It wouldn't be much of a melt without cheese, and it needs some heat to melt the cheese

I thought they asked if you wanted [i]extra [/i]cheese, and the heat could also be provided via microwave.

[b]"Subway...proud sponsor of The Biggest Loser"[/b]

You couldn't make these things up!!

Crazy-legs - but no-one is commenting on whether they are/are not decent people, its about their behaviour when at working. Perfectly OK for us to make that distinction especially when may seem to do that themselves!

This is why I like the self service checkouts in supermarkets. I'd rather not have the forced friendly-ness of staff asking how my day was.

I thought they asked if you wanted extra cheese

they seemed to have changed to asking if you want cheese at all - although they certainly used to ask if you wanted extra cheese, as you said.

Maybe it is just the one near St Pauls that does this.

I shall ask how they are going to melt the cheese if I say no to toasted.

"Subway...proud sponsor of The Biggest Loser"

You couldn't make these things up!!

and there's stickers on the counter saying that the British Heart Foundation supports your choice of low fat subs...

I give the postcode of a house in East Anglia that I lived in about 12 years ago (I now live about 300 miles away from there).

Smash the system, give misleading data in response to a question and thereby skew the resultant stats my a barely perceptible amount

Maybe we should all give the STW Towers postcode?

tyre leavers

Where are they off to then?

In a Canadian Subway I visited recently they were doing a promotion on BLT subs.
What bread did I want? White please.
What did I want in it? Bacon please.
What did I want with it? Er, lettuce and tomato please.
Apparently I could have had a BLT made with tuna, coleslaw and avocado if I wanted, it would still have been a BLT to them.
And don't me started on ordering a coffee in Starbucks - more questions than the census form.

OH works in a bike shop...came home the other day with this tale..

Customer... "my back tire keeps going flat, whats wrong with it"
OH....."sounds like a puncture, but could be the valve, how long does it stay up"..
Customer... "i pump it up a few times a week, how can i fix it".
OH... "you can either book it in and we check / fix as required, otherwise you could check the valve is not leaking, fix the puncture or just replace the tube, if your unsure id dont want us to fix it your best bet is to just replace the tube".
Customer... "you would say that your a bike shop and just want to sell me stuff".

Customer then leaves...

Bike shop in free advice and offer to fix shocker..

The customer is always right but also cheeky / misguided and about to buy online..

Kevevs - Member
the worst one is when the store is doing a postcode survey for a week or 2 to find out their catchment area.

Local Wickes where doing that , gave them the postcode of the local prison, and said i was out on day release, and where did they sell hacksaw blades.

WH SMITHS today, buying new SINGLETRACK MAG, did i want any chocolate, and a bag, seems as if its shameful to be seen carrying a Singletrack in public.

As someone who frequently has bad hearing, pointless questions can be frustrating.

Recently when my hearing was particularly bad (couldn't hear wife when she shouts in my ear), I went out to buy said wife some unsalted butter and milk. Easy.

Got to counter, ready to hand over money and leave...and the lady proceded to wave a few leaflets and say something to me. I gave my usual response "sorry I'm deaf" (don't know why I insist on apologizing for it all the time). She decided to wave a few more leaflets and talk at me some more.

After trying to explain that I'm deaf a few more times, and politely saying "can I just pay for these and go please?", that got a glare and a frown. Then shook her head at the next customer in a kind of, 'deaf people, why can't they just stay at home' way.

ohnohesback - Member
I get annoyed by robotic staff asking me if I have a loyalty card. I find a curt "I neither have nor want one" works well.

Maybe I'm just having a bit of ginger moment but I'm struggling to figure out in what way that 'works'.

You should engage them in converstaion - a Staples Loyalty card, wow, and what colour does it come in, really, wow, like awesome dude (really works when you're in your 50's that one, you really see their respect for your like totally AWESOME street cred light up their faces or something), so wharere was I oh, yes, the air miles card, how many airmiles do i get on a 75p bottle of own brand tippex, what, not airmiles, really? are you sure, it looks like an airmiles card, what with being plastic and everything, is that thermoplastic, looks like it might be, do you think I could melt it down and make it into an air miles card, so anyway..

.......did i want any chocolate, and a bag, seems as if its shameful to be seen carrying a Singletrack in public.

Cheeky git......did you make a formal complaint ? The only way to put a stop to that sort of nonsense is to ask to speak to their supervisor.

[i]"Anything for the weekend sir ?"[/i] always gets me. The desire to have slightly shorter hair is the sole motivating factor behind me entering their establishment, and yet they take it upon themselves to ask prying questions about my sexual ambitions during the weekend. It's not right.

"Anything for the weekend sir ?"

I was asked that after my last haircut so I said yes please....the barber lent me his fishing rod

IGMC

"Anything for the weekend sir ?"

Just tell them that you're flattered but you think it would be better if you could just be friends

Earlier Today (im not making this up)
Went to Instore to buy mrs cloudnine some cheap gardening gloves and behind the counter is a large stack of toilet rolls..
Assistant.. 'Would you like some toilet roll to go with that??'
Me.. errrr 'Toilet roll to go with my gloves?'
Assistant.. 'Yes..'
Me.. [looks at gloves and looks pensively at assistant].. 'Do you sell any laxatives??' I cant see any other scenario today that would require toilet rolls to go with these gloves.
Assistant... 'Forget it you sicko'

I mean really.

I then walked next door into argos to buy a small garden gazebo as i wanna do some dusty woodwork outside and its been threatening to drizzle.
Assistant. 'Oh.. the one you want is actually on special offer.. you should really think about buying two of these.'
Me.. 'Errr... why would i need two 3m square gazebos?'
Assistant... 'Look how you could be saving!!'
Me.. 'errr... by buying two instead of the one that i came in for?'
Assistant... 'Yes.. and if you took out a store card it would...
Me..[interupting her].. 'I'm quite short of time. If it came with some free sex toys aswell i would go for it.'
Assistant.. [Goes bright red and just takes my card].. 'Thanks.. just the one gazebo.'

Local Wickes where doing that , gave them the postcode of the local prison, and said i was out on day release, and where did they sell hacksaw blades.

Well........you thought of saying that.........after the event

At the time you actually gave them your postcode 😉

I went to Maindy leisure centre in Cardiff to use the splendid outdoor cycling track. I was dressed in full lycra, cycling helmet, track mitts, full on biking shades, looking like a taller fatter older Mark Cavendish. I went to the counter, thinking it was obvious why I was there. After a second she said 'Swim, is it?'

I don't mind shop assistants trying to 'up-sell' (as it's called in the trade). As mentioned above, it does work. They aren't to know that you are super-humanly clever and resistant to their guile.

Perhaps you should have a T-shirt made with 'I am TandemJeremy' written on it.

[i]a T-shirt made with 'I am TandemJeremy' written on it[/i]

bloke told me a story that it was his birthday and he was going to the pub with his mates. One of them turned up to pick him up and gave him a t-shirt saying "I [b]am[/b] Alan Smith" (or whatever his name was) to wear.

He put it on and got to the pub to find 50 people in their wearing t-shirts saying "Alan Smith is a w*nker".

I'm just wonderign what the 'reaction' slogan to an "I am TandemJeremy" t-shirt is;

"Well, I won't try my tried and tested sales guile on you then"
"The branding in this shop is pointless!"
"You'll know your rights, then"

Ironically, TJ has become a brand.

Ironically, TJ has become a brand.

Is www.tj.com available?

"Do you want ketchup with that?"

"What... in my milkshake???"

"Can I help you" - in your face annoyance when you clearly want to just look

Completely ignoring you when you really do want to talk detail with someone...

MF - it is!

You know what to do...

You know what to do...