The campsite thread has inspired me to comment on the human soup that you have on ferries.
The blokes that jump up when DFDS announce that the duty-free tills are finally fixed.
The parents oblivious to their shrieking kids.
The disappointment when there is no Guardian for sale.
The pair of cycle tourers somehow managing to sleep in the corner of the lounge.
Every single person on board ignoring the safety announcements.
Awful food.
The smug people who got put onto an earlier ferry.
Oh, and behind me right now, the wholesome parents over explaining everything to their kids.
Hey ho, it's good to be back in the UK.
I once made the school boy error of upgrading to 'The Lounge' on a Plymouth to St Malo ferry.
It was possibly the highest concentration of gammony, boomer, daily mail readers in the northern hemisphere.
I'm sure they thought I was lovely too 😆
The ars*h*le who takes a deckchair onto the upper deck and sits getting sunburn and sozzled across Biscay.
Awful food.
I used the Newcastle to Amsterdam ferry a few times for work.
Really pleasant way to travel, particularly outside of the busy periods.
A good meal and wine in the restaurant, then head down by 10 in comfortable and clean cabin.
The tragically poor guy sat at a table with an enormous pile of condiments sachets sat in front of him... tearing the tops off, sucking out the contents, then moving onto the next.
I forgot about other ferries, it's not only the Ingerlish Channel is it. 😆
The idiots on the 'mini cruise' to Iceland a few years back in a shared cabin with the most repugnantly smelly trawlermen who had strongboxes chained to themselves. We got moved. God they stank. On the return trip we somehow ended up parked in the lorry deck. It was awash with fishy slurry, bleurgh 🤮. At 4.00AM I was asked to move the car off the ferry so that a truck could disembark to Thorshafn. As a reward for my helpfulness I was given a free breakfast; roll ops. I declined.
We done the ferry to Caen twice this year and the ferry to Bilbo twice. One the ferry to Caen and back we meet no one as we get the 11pm ferry and go straight to bed and get off at 7am. Though we were in a line of 5 silver T5 including us at Feb half term clearly all going skiing most of the passengers were in vans. On the 36 hour Easter ferry we had an inset day so managed to get one just before the schools broke up. It was full of Gammons making no effort to even say Merci to the French staff. On the ferry 2 weeks ago very middle class lots of posh English families dressed head to toe in Ralph Lauren.
I’m sure they all see me as a overweight northern monkey showing off with his shit GCSE French
the Polish barman on the greek-owned ferry sailing to Ireland who inexplicably rings the last orders bell every time he sells a pint Guinness.
Affable Scottish cycle tourer returning from a months Amsterdam to Santander ride. 😉
The ferry to/from ireland teh day before/after an old firm match
Can't beat a bit off animosity
Did the Hebridean way a few years ago. On the ferry back to Ullapool, as we approached land, a group started singing hymns on the deck
They guy who’s scared of open water/the sea (especially at night) desperately trying to hold it together on the last sailing from Tarbert to Uig before a storm rolls in as the ship bobs about
I made it though
Those that are coming / going from home vs those on their hollies. Living on an island at times really feels that we are living in a theme park for the benefit of tourists and that we’re just ‘actors’ in some sort of production. When you attempt to start a conversation with the people sitting opposite and they look at you as though you’ve wee’d in their 👟 👟 🤣
The family of 4 trying to hold it together on the Le Havre - Southampton in a force 9 gale. Strictly, 3 trying to hold it together; and the father who had a long career in the merchant navy and has never apparently lost his sea legs.
Things that apparently make it better;
"Let's get something to eat, that'll take your minds off feeling sick"
Things that don't make it better;
Trying to eat something while wondering if the pile of vomit someone's just thrown up and is now zigzagging across the cafeteria floor with each roll of the ship will miss our table or pass straight under it.
Early to mid 80's, still have PTSD.
The two dirty cycle tourers coming back to Newcastle from Bergen who got invited into a private bar stag do of Norwegian's on a booze cruise....messy
The holiday romance couple .Heading back to Dover in a stormy crossing,him and his mates are oblivious to the swell and have launched in to an 'end of holiday' beerfest. Her and her friends are trying (and failing) to hold down their breakfasts. Desperate to show that he wants this romance to be more than a holiday fling,he makes his way across the tilting deck,and with a winning smile asks "Would they like a drink?. It was a test of his future commitment that he stayed to clear up the mess. 😀
I catch the ferry a lot. Now, especially due to work with a new plant in Ireland (Brexit) and of course going back to see family. I tend to catch the ferry at 2am so I'm in Dublin for 6 am and at work by 8. So, out of season the lounge and restaurant is sparse - always reminds me of an Edward Hopper painting - populated by desperate souls and odd who don't want to be there.
I usually always get a cabin.
The Dutch/German biker "gangs" of 60 fat blokes in leather waistcoats who look decidedly green on a pan flat ijmuden to Newcastle ferry.
The loved up Dutch couple who have finished their wine and then he gets decidedly grumpy when she flashes her winning smile/cleavage to try and scrounge decent beer of a group of Scots mountain bikers.
I usually always get a cabin.
I seldom often don't.
Oooohh, happy memories from a long, long time ago, 3 of us on an interrail tour of Scandiland, on a ferry we got tagged on to by a Brit who claimed to be in the RAF, mentioned planes and flying a lot, how good he was at flying, meteoric career etc, talked more about planes and flying and whose company proved to be particularly unhelpful in the disco, and very tedious at the bar, after a long night, it got worse as stunningly helpfully he turned out to be in the same 4 bed dorm we were in (two bunks), biggles was in the one above a lovely, quiet, softly spoken, polite, Irish lad, who I’d never really seen get upset, as we turned in biggles continued on unabated, at which point the Irish lad shouted fly you barsteward fly and pushed his feet up and lifted his mattress and pushed him out the bunk sp he crashed down onto the floor, and then said you can’t *ing fly at all can you, now ing shut up. It was lovely and quiet after that.
Fond memories of the ragtag group of backpacking Europeans, Americans and Canadians that sort of coalesced around the ferry bar on a hostel hopping trip up the west coast of B.C. and Alaska, whale-watching, sleeping on the deck of the ferry, jumping off at every port and desperately trying to get to the nearest pub and back, telling wildly exaggerated stories to each other and all promising to keep in touch at the end but then never bothering 😂
Penzance <> Isles of Scilly - Doctors, bankers, people generally earning over 70k a year and their families. The only people that can actually afford to holiday there.
A handful of locals with deeply mixed feelings about the aforementioned
Just managed to be the last car on the Rotterdam/Hull ferry after a 12 hour drive from Austria.
I’m the person the P&O checkin people shake their heads at.
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Ferries tend not to make me love my fellow humans. Have we had the rapid land grab extended family? Work betide anyone who risks minor encroachment towards their tables. The couple with one toddler conducting high volume teaching so we all know how good they are? Hey ho.
Always get a cabin including for daytime crossings from Portsmouth, for when it all gets too much.
The tourist couple who are scowling at cyclists because they queued for 45 minutes for the Bowness Ferry on Windermere while dozens of bikes just sailed past them to get on immediately... 🙂
I usually always get a cabin.
I seldom often don’t.
I'm not an animal.
The kids who wait at the back of eighties ferries watching and waiting for the ramp to drop before hightailing it all the way down to the correct bit of the car deck and into the waiting car. God knows how dad let us do that..
That one eejit who takes the wrong way through the car deck and rips his son's bike off the roof rack.
Just made the last ferry before they stopped the next sailing, apparently the one I'd got on was full. Sitting at the bar wondering why it was so empty and why the barman was holding on with white knuckles. All became clear during the post second pint trip to the toilet where everyone and their lunch was. Sloshing. I went back to the bar, the barman didn't look pleased to see me but the novelty of beer actually on a boat was too good to pass up.
The 40 year old getting incredibly excited about the whole thing, basically doing laps of the ship and saying things like WE'RE ON A BOAT.
Ah no wait that's me.
The strange overweight bloke in his mid 30s with what appears to be his mother in tow.... they both have excess jewellery and hold the record of "all you can eat buffet monsters"
Seen them at least thee times on the Hull/Zeebrug run..
**** me they can eat and bear in mind i am Northern working class and not easily impressed when it comes to such things
The naive welsh farmer on the boat to Santander, who, belatedly, has a Crocodile Dundee moment when the Tina Turner tribute singer sits on his lap.... (that was a guy dressed up as a Sheila!)
I assume it was a Tup....
Yep 🙂
The guy in the blue Passat who was second in line to drive off the ferry when the electronic handbrake failed to disengage, resulting in an entire ferryload of drivers helpfully leaning on their horns behind me. Er, him.
The attractive couple sitting in the bar with a look of stunned amazement on their faces. As they are actually heading on a short break to France without the kids, next Saturday
The hundreds of drunken student "sportspersons" in the late '90s on their way back from a British University sports* competition on the Isle of Man who, when one of them answers his phone, sing at the top of their voices "I just called to say I love you!"
*mainly drinking and snogging.
I e been on loads of ferries this trip and not noticed any odd folk so I guess that makes me the odd one. Usually having anxiety attacks about getting on the wrong boat.
Truck ferry from northern France to Pool with kids was an interesting place. The Romanian trucker who had a suspected heart attack mid channel and needed air lifting off in the early hours. Of course the ships crew only had the muster alarm to ask all the smokers to leave deck to allow the chopper to winch a medic down and the trucker off.
The other problem was that the trucker was first on the boat and was winched off with his keys😂
The tents on the decks. Venice - Corfu 24 hours. A bit of a ferry/campsite hybrid if you will
The decks were littered with tents of the people who didn't like the idea of paying €400-ish for one night in a cabin.
Me? I just bedded down for the night in one of the unused entertainment lounges
On that ferry to Bilbao does anyone ever use that indoor pool? much fun when the ship's rocking and the water spills out of the pool into the bar floor. Can't imagine anyone getting changed and going for a swim there while everyone else watches.
Once spent a horrific night on that ferry returning to england. Trying to save money we booked a chair instead of a cabin. Couldn't sleep in the chair room so went and sat by the amusements, which are switched on permanently. I had 5hrs of cotton eye joe playing on a loop from some game or bandit. I was ready to roll the thing off the side by the time we docked.
I am stunned at how perfect all the STW massive are ...
And it's just everyone else
On that ferry to Bilbao does anyone ever use that indoor pool?
It was drained of water last month when we travelled.
It was drained of water last month when we travelled.
I’ll let you know if it’s been filled when we travel to Bilbao on 29th September.
On that ferry to Bilbao does anyone ever use that indoor pool? much fun when the ship’s rocking and the water spills out of the pool into the bar floor. Can’t imagine anyone getting changed and going for a swim there while everyone else watches.
I took one look at it slopping over the sides and went to the bar. My wife on the other hand...
Still, at least the kids didn't drown.