The local Tesco has a sign on the self-service checkouts advising “cash or card only.” What the hell else were people paying with, were they going through with a cheque book?
Weeeeeell, my supermarket takes Card, Swish and Klarna. Doesn't take cash though.
I’ve never tried it, [marmalade] because I don’t like carrots. 😱🤣
Quite a lot of decent marmalades have carrot in them, so she's not *completely* out there...
I mean, it's not like you can actually take a spoon full of marmalade and go "Hmmmm, taste the carrot" or anything. But it's there.
People (customers) who ask “Can I get…?”
No, you can’t. The server/assistant/barista can get it for you.
there are plenty of jobs (mine included) where excitement is a possibility
Yes there's nothing like the "excitement" of trying to find a room on a warm summer Friday afternoon on the North Norfolk coast! Plus two taxi rides and somewhere to store bikes. (Hasn't happened yet but the worry of an hotel not homouring a booking is constantly there).
“Can I get…?”
It’s just an Americanism and grammatically correct over there, having been recorded in novels for well over 100 years.
It’s probably inevitable that it will become more widely used here, but I still hate it.
‘I’ll reach around with the others’
We have a female project engineer who's job got stopped at lunchtime one Friday for some flimsy reason. She was not pleased about it and stormed out of the office shouting,
"Right that's it, I'm going to go and pull off my men!"
I assume she was so mad she didn't hear the gales of laughter that followed her down the stairs. Must have been 8 or 9 years ago, still gets talked about now.
We’ve done a few work ones that annoy people but the one that gets me is ‘Reach out’ – the only people allowed to use that in a work setting are the Four Tops
Well, that’s the Spotify theme for the day established!
I like to tell the current MrsIHN
One of the errors people make when writing procedures at work is to refer to individuals as being responsible for something. Of course people leave, retire, etc. and the procedure has to continue so when we review and edit we try wherever possible refer to their role, to future proof.
Yet when I do similar at home, referring to her as 'The Wife' rather than by name it's somehow no longer good practise?
We had a site manager at a nuclear power station who used to end the daily shutdown meetings with "Right, let's crack off" rather than crack-on. No idea whether he did it on purpose but always with a completely straight face!
I'm just back from the US where I played a game called Corn Hole. Sounded like it was something from Roger's Profanisaurus.
"That's fairly unique..." it isn't unique then!
"I can't get no satisfaction..." so, you can get satisfaction?
I loved visiting NI for work, every time I went to a supermarket to get my lunch I’d be asked if I wanted a ‘wee bag’.
Have to speak to a colleague in Belfast a lot, and we always have the same banter, he says "tanks a million" a lot, and standard response is now "that's ok give them to Ukraine".
Woah, back up, is someone suggesting that marmalade has carrots in?
In a thread about daft things to say.
Don't make me go and check, it doesn't does it?
Not sure if it counts as daft or not but made me laugh. Standing in the queue for the bar at Murrayfield a few years ago the chap in front of me asked for five beers. “Sorry sir” the girl replied, “we sell a maximum of four drinks”. “Well in that case can I buy four beers, and then can I buy another beer?”. “Certainly sir, no problem. And would you like to pay for them all together?”.
"Now, then." Is it now, or was it then?
Speaking of double-negatives, I sometimes drop things like "I can't not underemphasise that enough" or "I don't think you've not misunderstood me enough" into conversations. You can see them trying to work it back for a few seconds.
“Did you get the messages?”. Apparently means “Did you get the shopping?”
Lived in Edinburgh 14 years and still learning new things from the locals
MissJ returned from her first day at school in Scotland and told her mum she needed to take a "play piece" the next day. MrsJ - being forrin - had no clue what she was talking about. Me - being forrin to Scotland but having been more exposed to the culture - had a very vague notion of what she wanted.
I’m just back from the US where I played a game called Corn Hole. Sounded like it was something from Roger’s Profanisaurus.
It is actually established slang for exactly what it sounds like, isn't it?
Cf. The Great Cornholio in Beavis and Butthead.
My father used to always say when filling anything - bucket, kettle to fill it from the well. He grew up in the east end of Glasgow, and while i have heard there were wells about in Glasgow many years back, I think its a familiar family phrase that went back further than that, to our ancestors over in Ireland.w
Yet when I do similar at home, referring to her as ‘The Wife’ rather than by name it’s somehow no longer good practise?
You are Sir Adrian Dangerous AICMFP.
she needed to take a “play piece”
I'd go with Hamlet's soliloquy, can't fail to move a soul if delivered well
Not sure if it counts as daft or not but made me laugh. Standing in the queue for the bar at Murrayfield a few years ago the chap in front of me asked for five beers. “Sorry sir” the girl replied, “we sell a maximum of four drinks”. “Well in that case can I buy four beers, and then can I buy another beer?”. “Certainly sir, no problem. And would you like to pay for them all together?”.
Had similar in a city centre pub where they weren't allowed a treble whisky, so had 2 doubles, paid for together instead.
Woah, back up, is someone suggesting that marmalade has carrots in?
In a thread about daft things to say.
Don’t make me go and check, it doesn’t does it?
Some do, some don't, i have both at home at the moment.
Now I really want to try a carrot marmalade. Down with the citrus!
A group of us archaeology students were on site messing around and the director said ‘right, I want you boys whacking off in a row in front of me’. She was very posh and didn’t understand our laughter so someone explained and she went red and had to sit down.
Advert in TV for a "fully hybrid" car. So fully part one thing part the other?
Down with the citrus!
How Disturbing.
Can I rant about all the dimwits who say "For free"? Free isn't an amount so you can't have it for that. You can have it "Free of charge" and thus, if lazy "Free".
I care not one toss that it is becoming the default.
Carrots are fruit
That may be the winner 😉
Followed by assorted Tories saying “Yes what he said was racist but he is not a racist”
Possibly open to debate, but the fact that he’s an asshole isn’t.
Had almost the same phone call with Lloyds Credit Card Fraud dept. I simply hung up (politely, etc) then called them back via the actual factual visible number on the back of the card.
It is, I agree, not particularly clever to ring you up from an unknown, and not searchable, number, and then start trying to talk to you about your banking details… are you trying to extract personal data to defraud me?
Yeah, I had one of those while I was at work, and as I’m naturally suspicious of those sort of calls, and cut it off. After a few minutes thought, and having my account manager’s personal mobile number, I called her and left a message. A couple of minutes later, she calls me back, and says she’s just checked my account, there’s been some suspicious activity and to call them back immediately!
Saved me from being at least £1000 out of pocket!
Can I rant about all the dimwits who say “For free”?
for sure
A side note on the carrot debate - All vegetables are fruit. Vegetables are a subclassification of the fruit group.
It is a bit like women are part of Mankind but probably a more contentious thing to say to some people, especially those who insist tomatoes are fruit as if that is a surprising fact.
"redhead have a lower pain threshold, surgeons need to use more drugs to euthanise them"
People that use 'like' to end a sentence.
Where/whom did that abomination originate from?
Carrots are fruit.
A side note on the carrot debate – All vegetables are fruit.
Carrots are not the only fruit
My OH isn't British and managed to mix up "bugger off" and "stop bothering me". She told someone to "stop buggering me".
