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Was in a 6 hour meeting today which was enlivened by a consultant speaking in front of 35 people about "shoving stuff out down the glory hole".
I and the guy sitting next to me we're unable to stop giggling for about 5 minutes, whilst everyone else was stony faced.
Anyone else had some good ones in meetings?
We had some strange people use the word "imagineering" or something equally bollox in a corporate do the other month. Sadly, the word appears to be legit. Albeit bloody stupid.
some burk I was in the company of today, referred to some other visitors to the site as being "An African diplomatic representative, probably Angolia or summint" 🙄
Something a little similar....
A new colleague joins the company, who worked (very unsuccessfully!) for a previous employer of mine, started spouting off on a conference call about another ex-colleague from said previous employer. Someone who was, and is, a very successful person.
Keeping up so far?
New colleague, trying to impress by showing how much they know other ex-colleague, "Yeah, she's really well connected. She runs a great business, and is really sociable and great company in person. We've met loads of times, and she and I get on very well. I think she trusts my opinion, and if you asked her, she'd say she did."
Self, "Erm, sorry, but I've got to call bullshite on this one. You do know that this person you are talking about is a man, don't you? I had a beer with him just a couple of months ago, and trust me - He's not a she! His wife might also question your opinion."
New colleague - Stony silence for some time....
Uber Boss - "Well, I think we've all learned something about our new colleague today....Now, on to other matters..."
Epic win. 🙂
ah but was "his" name Leslie or Hilary? 😉
Ambrose, as it happens!
😉
(Beer in town at some point? Summer sunshine...!)
maybe this tues coming?, after that I shall be avoiding the smoke for a while 🙂
Well, let me know. Could arrange a "meeting" if needed...Am off to warmer climes for a couple of weeks after that as well!
ok, keep in touch
a lot can happen in a couple of months... 😉
Working, as I do, around a public/private partnership...there seems to be some kind of competition going on between the consultants both sides to talk the most nonsense.
You might think I am posting this. I'm not. I'm socialising it.
(And Cap'n - I would have kept that one in my pocket for a while...wait until it's really useful 😈 )
sc-xc, the Uber-Boss on this call is a seriously, seriously Uber-Boss. Way beyond my boss, who is also the new colleagues boss. Way, way, beyond. It was worth using that shot right then. 🙂
I'll keep hold of it, just in case, for some of the lesser Uber-bosses as well, of course.
Yep "socialising ideas" is the one that grates me at the moment. Now I know I am an unsociable bugger, but if the men in the sharp suits want any time from my team then they better come and talk to me about their ******* ideas.
Something a little similar....
On a conference call with a few people in our office, a few visiting our office from another branch, and a few off site.
A young woman walks through the open-plan office where I'm sitting, and one of the visitors on the call chimes in with "jesus, look at the bazongas on that!"
Had his attention not been so focused on her chest, he might've noticed the wireless headset she was wearing...
A police boss at work spoke about “correct asset placement for the night time economy”, which seemed to be a euphemistic phrase for positioning units in particular spots to police the drunken and riotous hordes that descend on the city centre of a Saturday evening.
I was on a video shoot yesterday, filming a chef making cupcakes. The final shot we had to get was the chef putting the icing on the top.
After a short break the director said "Right, lets get the money shot."
One of the camera men then said "lets ice the muffin."
From that point on everything went wrong.
"automated manuality" i.e. to make a manual task automatic. - Don't you mean automation you prick?
filming a chef making cupcakes.
You're seriously telling me no-one likened the final shots to being the icing on the cake?
Stoner, CFH, room for another on Tuesday?
"business" lunch, or end-of-day "meeting"? 😉
The appointed "Diversity Champion" in our office, upon seeing one of her male staff wearing a pink shirt, was recently heard saying "Oh my god, you're such a gayer".
Also heard repeatedly on a conference call this week was a chap describing exporting data from an application as "sucking it off the system".
"Farming the base" is also one of my favourites.
You're seriously telling me no-one likened the final shots to being the icing on the cake?
Ha! wish I had thought of that!
I think everyone was preoccupied with what the neighbors thought. Film crew turns up at a suburban house with lights, guys (crew) hot girls (clients)... it didn't look like a cup cake shoot!
Slot a) already taken, calendar currently free for b)
Room for a brompton on Tuesday?
ned, ah, I think CFH and I have just pencilled in a "working lunch"....
next time!
'Going forward' I think this thread has a lot of potential.