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Wait 'till he's in his plot. Turn up, stand there wioth your arms by your side, and shout in amazement:
"Wow, look at all these veg I must have grown on my plot"
Then procede to dig them all up, regardless of their state of maturity, and eat them, rubbing your tummy tum.....
That'll show 'im...
DrP
just driven past and to my complete astonishment he's erected a panel fence which is at least a meter into my bloody patch!
take photos of the fece but with a tape measure around the outside of your plot... show clearly its in your land then dismantle the fence.. sell it for bike parts
I've tipped a bag of rocks I had collected all over his side of the fence.
Where is it?
I'm currently "resting" and could do with a light confrontation to let off some steam. 8)
New to Sky3! ALLOTMENT WARS!!!
sell it for bike parts
what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?
Tear it down, then put a new fence into concrete along the true boundary.
If it all goes totally wrong may I suggest the nuclear option:
Japanese Knotweed the plot.
Snipers hiding in his cabbage patch!
^ from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.Japanese Knotweed the plot.
what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?
Apollos 😉
what sort of bike has parts made from panel fencing?
Probably not this one:
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MrNutt you are obliged to start taking photos to make this a killer thread "of win" 😀
This battle will be won in badger hours I can feel it 😀
It's not "his side of the fence". Technically both sides of the fence are yours. Why not paint it with a mural of some sort?
you must have some serious patience mate, this type of thing just winds me up like you wouldnt believe. just nick the new fence int he dead of night and bin it miles away where he'll never find it!
Those forks look completely unsuitable for that wooden tandem...
Time for a bonfire methinks!
Second thoughts. Storm into the council offices and demand to speak to the Allotment Officer and you're not leaving until you do. Talk VERY loudly and do lots of hand waving and generally make them feel uncomfortable until something is done about it.
IT IS MY NEIGHBOUR! Either that or the ****s multiplied.
I presume he's left the fence panel for you as a gift, being on your side and all. Great timing as you "need" to start a bonfire (hint hint) to keep warm on these chilly nights. Perhaps he'd also like to warm his hands on the fire that love built?
maybe its a gift? return the favour with a trojan horse and camp out inside it with a pitch fork
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Maybe he genuinely believes that the fence is in the correct place? Have you measured to be sure? Maybe measure with him to try and agree? If you win and make him feel he's lost out he could seek revenge; win-win it's the only way!
Pave your plot and advertise it online as a new dogging spot.
Have you tried putting your toe sheddings in his cabbages?
I've tipped a bag of rocks I had collected all over his side of the fence.
Not a smart move. I suspect you're going to be getting another letter from the council.
You know that all the rocks landed on your bit of allotment but that won't be the story he tells in his complaint about you. He wants you booted off and chucking more rocks onto what he sees as his land is just ammo for him. It's shame that the council sound so disinterested or you could get them to come out and measure where he's put the fence. Sadly until you can get them interested it's your word against his and they're his mates.
Hora has it paint a big f off mural on his side of the fence, maybe you could base it on gay porn? use your land on his side of the fence as your new loo
hook up a power supply and monitor showing two girls 1 cup on repeat?
I've been on your MySpace page. You should sing at him.
I don't see how he can complain about you storing rocks on your own allotment.
I was thinking, you said he was of the opinion that you'd "no right to be there" - perhaps he'd back off if that opinion was changed? Lay on a sob story, the allotment was your grandad's, this is the only connection you have with him now that he's sadly passed away, and this argument is very very upsetting.
The tit for tat approach stands a good chance of getting out of control. Soon as you retalliate, you lose the moral high ground.
On the upside, someone's given you a free fence.
I don't see how he can complain about you storing rocks on your own allotment.
You're confusing facts with the tale he'll tell his mates at the council.
Yeah, but you make enough of a stink and one of his mates at the council will eventually go "for christ's sake Bill, will you knock it off, that bloody bloke's round here every day kicking off about it."
Jesus wept, how meek are you? Do you say sorry for complaining? Are you impossibly English?
Take the fence down. Return it (in a large pile) to him (ie, put it in his allotment) he's going to have set times to be there. be there at the same time time. Explain to him why you did it, what he's done wrong and that you are not giving this up, that you are not backing down. Confrontation is OK. The adrenailin rush is just like a good downhill!
Grow some balls in his side, USE.
As for the exaple of the swimming guy. Stand in the lane, as he pushes into you, push him away / down. When he comes up spluttering, explain that you don't take kindly to someone pushing into you. The reason that people behave like this is that other people let them.
I'd definitely try to get him to work with you to measure together - find out what the measurements should be and see what he thinks the measurements should be.
Sounds like he's well aware of the measurements, he just thinks he's more important.
try a bit of fertilisation on your patch. i.e. drop a cleveland steamer right on the boundary. If you are good you could write "**** off" but its hard to form the f's properly.
Sounds like he's well aware of the measurements, he just thinks he's more important.
Well maybe but work together on it I say - get a neighbouring allotment holder to join in too.
just get the neighbour to his left to move 2 ft into his patch etc.
just gone back to check and he's snapped my hoe, stolen my spade and stamped on my squashes which were on the "disputed territory", I confronted him and his argument was that my squashes were using the nutrients in HIS soil and that I would use my hoe to potentially tend HIS territory, apparently I've been "disarmed" to prevent any further "illegal activity" (digging up more stones). My arguments to it being my land have been met with accusations that I'm persecuting him and I'm as bad as the people that persecuted him in the past. The other allotment owners have threatened to burn down his shed!
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[/img]How about some of these?
How old is he?
I reckon late 40's/early 50's and a civil servant?
just gone back to check and he's snapped my hoe, stolen my spade and stamped on my squashes which were on the "disputed territory", I confronted him and his argument was that my squashes were using the nutrients in HIS soil and that I would use my hoe to potentially tend HIS territory, apparently I've been "disarmed" to prevent any further "illegal activity" (digging up more stones). My arguments to it being my land have been met with accusations that I'm persecuting him and I'm as bad as the people that persecuted him in the past. The other allotment owners have threatened to burn down his shed!
Sounds like a police job to me. :/
Sounds like a mental health job to me.
Seriously, it sounds like the guy has problems. Involving the police might be doing him a favour in the long run if it results in him getting the help he seems to need.
Sounds like a police job to me. :/
+1 criminal damage and theft to start with.
burn his shed down, that will teach him.......seriously.
Just make sure he is not in it 😆
This has to be a wind up.
there are no victims, only volunteers