Having slipped on crutches so I stood on my busted heal closing the blinds in the bedroom, Next thing I knew I was lying on the bed (5 feet away) seeing stars and swearing very loudly. It hurt worse than anything else I've done and I've done a lot of stupid things resulting in broken bones and other injuries.
Shattered clavicle was the most painful injury for years. Then I had kidney stones which was worse !!
Dear god some of these are terrifying.... I think the most pain I can remember was dislocating my shoulder on the old Still woods DH track in Bristol. The dislocation didn't really hurt (the crash was big enough that I may have been in shock) but it was the using a tree to pop back in that hurt.. pretty sure I briefly blacked out.
I also and to this day not sure how I did it managed to go over the bars, rotate perfectly that my open legs bracketed a tree trunk and then basically slammed my nob into a tree. I was so winded I couldn't scream so pretty much just gurgled weakly on the floor for about 5 mins.
Summer of ‘78.
Just went on forever.
At the local harbour, boat hire ensured the place was rammed.
Add to that a steady stream of tourists arriving on hire bikes.
Someone agreed to let me take their adult sized hire bike for a spin.
I must have swerved to avoid a dog, and I sailed off the embankment to land perfectly on my coccyx.
I should have screamed, but in true ‘star-trek’ style I managed to “divert all auxiliary power to life-support”, and (very daintily), made it home without making a complete ass of myself. And then collapsed😂😂😂
And yet, I surpassed such idiocy.
Middle-age, dodgy prostate.
Rather than simply packing the underwear with tissue, and having it move around whilst asleep, I had an even better idea.
Why not buy a groin-protector from Amazon, pack it with tissue. “That’ll buy me a few more seconds on the way to the loo”, I laughed.
First couple of days, such success.
Problem is, these groin protectors are rock-solid. Like they’re carved from solid teak, solid.
Rolling on my side, I was suddenly awoken by my entire 18 stone bulk, bearing down on one of my testiklons.
Not only was that a ‘rude awakening’ but now, every day is vasectomy day.🙁🙁🙁
