If it happens every time it's delivered I'd just get up early, keep an eye out and confront the person. They'd probably wither with embarassment - that or punch you in the chops. Either way, you'd know who was doing it.
Keep a camera handy and get a nice snap of them too.....
Is this a bit cynical...
The benefit is he'll probably forget where he got the milk from and he'll be easy to spot as the chap in the middle of the pavement face-down covered in 'milk'
Hook the bottle up so it sets off a rook scarer...that'll make him jump!
Is it not even a certain day of the week?
tie the handle of the milk to a rape alarm (preferably a multi tone one) using fishing wire, and hide sound activated disco lights in all windows of the house.
The neighbours will hate you but I'm pretty sure the theft would stop.
If all else fails go to the shop and buy it yourself, you might save some money in the process and you'll definitely save your milk . . . 😉
If all else fails go to the shop and buy it yourself, you might save some money in the process and you'll definitely save your milk . . .
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Picolax them. Picolax them hard.
Initial thoughts were Piccolax, but you wouldn't get to see the results.
It would be nice to rig something up to scare the crap out of him/her, but you've got to get it on film. That sort of stuff goes viral (or at least would get you £250 on You've Been Framed!).
You don't want to leave yourself open to possible prosecution.
So just make sure you don't leave them alive.
Poacher alarm - basically a blank shotgun cartridge with a firing pin rigged up to a trip wire. You can buy them from most gun shops or from fleabay etc..........
natrix - Member
Poacher alarm - basically a blank shotgun cartridge with a firing pin rigged up to a trip wire. You can buy them from most gun shops or from fleabay etc..........
As up there ^^^
Cheers,
Jamie
What do you think the combined effect of picolax and that phenibut tranquiliser might be, besides "messy"?
... although I'd rather not get close enough to witness the combined effect of picolax and that poacher alarm.
Leon liked milk. He'd take on the hit.
Might as well lob the viagra in as well as the above..
wysiwig, I've always wanted to hand someone a big pile of handgrenade pins.
I know a freindly vet, how about a ketamine and picolax cocktail ? 🙂
TBH the rape alarm and fishing line sounds like the best option - not harmful but will give the thief a shock and make him reaslise he's been rumbled.
So, a cocktail of sleep inducer, penis hardener* and stool softener. I like where this thread has gone!
*What happens if it's a woman?
oh, I forgot to mention that there's a canopy over the front door from which I could always rig up something to drop.
make him reaslise he's been rumbled
If he gets picolax'd then he will be the one doing the rumbling... Assuming its a he, of course.
Dig a big pit, fill with sharpened bamboo spikes, cover with palm leaves.
Make sure you let the milkman know about it though!
oh, I forgot to mention that there's a canopy over the front door from which I could always rig up something to drop.
This thread gets better every minute.
[i]Excellent work [/i] 🙂
What happens if it's a woman?
They will go to sleep, deficate themselves, but not get an erection.
Can't win 'em all!
PICOLAX! PICOLAX! PICOLAX!
why don't you add your own double cream?
That's a win/win.......
picolax and a 007-style GPS transponder so you can find where they've gone!
Please send your unwanted picolax to....
picolax and a 007-style GPS transponder so you can find where they've gone
I think I can guess where they might have gone...
Hey thats a first. I'd never experienced the infamous double post glitch first hand
You could of course just leave a lockable box on the doorstep, screwed down, and leave it open with a note to the milkie to drop in the bottles then lock it.
Do you have neighbours, and do they have milk delivered, too? A clever thief will be alternating his targets to evade capture.
Therefore, whatever you decide to do to taint your milk, you will need to replicate with your neighbours' milk.
Should work but blocked by work. Alarm mine
what if it's a cat? they like milk.
what if the cat drinks the picoshake?
what if that cat also likes to poop in your shrubbery
you could be hoisted by your own petard
If the stolen milk is shared at a workplace, there is the possibility that more people are affected than there are toilets.....
what if it's a cat? they like milk.
what if the cat drinks the picoshake?
what if that cat also likes to poop in your shrubbery
you could be hoisted by your own petard
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😀 PICO-POWAH!
Rig the shotgun pellet to go off when the milk is disturbed. Meanwhile a trap door opens above him and as he reaches the peak of his jump the bombers descend and he's owned.
You could always dissolve a couple of tabs of Lysergic acid diethylamide into the milk. Then show anyone you suspect the picture below, if they freak out you've got your milk thief:
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Combine rogerthecat's plan with the picolax one.
Your thief is the man sat giggling in the street playing with his own shit.
Don't add the viagra, whatever you do.
As a user, picolax!
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We are not worthy! All we need is Blue_tone!
I have two spare sachets of Picolax from a cancelled Colonoscopy...
Was going to put it on the Classifieds. 🙂
If you've ever tried Picolax, I'd be amazed if you ever managed to hide the stuff in any sort of drink or food stuff. (Unless your victim likes bicarbonate of soda).
takisawa2, ygm 😉
Rig the shotgun pellet to go off when the milk is disturbed. Meanwhile a trap door opens above him and as he reaches the peak of his jump the bombers descend and he's owned.
I was thinking a shallow square tank in the canopy, containing about, oh, say four pints of very, very rancid milk, about two weeks old, rigged to drop... 😈
