[Closed] Mid-life crisis? Anyone had one?

Im nearly 43, Ive just bought 2 ducks (live to live in the garden), for why I dont know why and will be trying to cycle round the Annapurna circuit in 3 days in May. Used to be happy with beach holidays!

Blimey ! Where to start?

I reckon MLC comes about for one of two major reasons

1) You wake up one morning and realise that you've got less time left than you've had already,
2) somehow or other you discover that you are yesterdays news at work, and probably will not be getting much further than where you are now.

That then leads to a period of navel gazing shortly followed by attmepts to recover/revitalise lost youth, missed chances etc etc. This phase often will follow some considerable time after the adult purchase of a scaletrix, the first sign of impending doom,(thats without any pretext of it being for your kids incidentally, simply a blatant boys toys moment).

In there there will be all sorts of efforts to recover youth which will include attempts at ridiculous testosterone rich sports, boffing the office bike and generally acting like an arse. If you are lucky you will come out the other side of it and come to an understanding of the siginificant things in life, and your successes with those as opposed to your perceived failures in many other areas. If you're not you'll end up i na disaterous relationship with the bike bitterly regretting what you've done to your one big success until that moment.

Best advice : Get on with it, get it out of your system, but always be totally honest with the office bike, and tell her that you won't be leaving the Mrs. Never ever admit anything, even if you're caught in up to hilt, this allows the real woman in your life the dignity of choosing whether to kick you out or not. And finally remember everything over 40 looks a bastard in lycra... learn to live with it!

32 and utterly f*cking pissed off at the mo - could be worse though, so i need to snap out of it!

A girl id got really close with and was all going frighteningly well (thinking about rings! For those that know me - thats serious stuff!! :-)).....then she had some real bad news and has completely shut down and i cant reach her at all. It hurts like f*ck.

If it wasnt for biking and being able to thrash all my frustration with my riding i dont know what i'd do.....i guess its a crutch as much as anything else!

God bless mountain biking - my saviour!! 🙂

Had a "crisis" from 30->32: "who am I", "where are we going", y'know. I started to sense my mortality I reckon.

Still don't have answers but I'm too busy to address them [how do people have time to marry, have kids, buy houses, business etc?]

Life's what's happening while you make other plans I guess.

I think I'm just getting to grips with mid-life, and accepting it, the only regret is not meeting the right person to have children with. Pete aka Woodsman aged 43 and 3/4 years.

Pete, your only 43 FFS.

There's still time then!!;)

Cheers hora - agree with most of your coments above btw

Does trying to join the TA at 35 count as a midlife crisis?

Then you have all the assorted things that go with it, like doing long distance running for the first time in my life, which means that I ache all the ****ing time.

And to think... I could be at home in my comfy chair with a cocoa right now instead.

Seriously though. a 43yr old can meet a girl of ANY age- 35 upto 45 and still have children. As above my 30yr old sis in law is seeing her older boss. Girls dont mind someone older than them as long as they arent crusty, smelly, badly dressed and shambling along. If you focus on your age then you'll osmose' into the type that girls dont want.
SFB is as old as the hills, probably older but I thought he was alot younger than he is.

I think I can get away with a good few years younger, but I know what you mean - and I'm not just talking about SFB! 😉

[i]Does trying to join the TA at 35 count as a midlife crisis[/i]
If its something that you've always wanted to do at the back of your mind/fancied but always put off? Then no.
If its a sudden-occurred though? Yes.

Ive done it / still doing it. left wife of 26 years to live with lady 10 years younger than me, in a place I don't particularly like. tried to go back home twice, didn't work out, back with new lady, now unemployed. No way back now - I'll just have to live with the consequences. I reckon it's all down to selfishness (mine) and boredom. Ho hum. Anyone know of any good jobs in North Cumbria?

Forestry Commission?

Hora. You're permanently in crisis. You're just too thick to realise it 🙂

Had a mini crisis around 28, got back with - the now - MrsSwadey, have two great young kids and have learnt to accept that what I have to lose is far more valuable than what "might" be out there to gain.

The solution to me was about learning to take responsibility for yourself and those you love, finding an outlet to channel any work/life frustration - in my case by riding - setting yourself small challenges - again, cycling and suddenly the world is not such a bad place.

Of course, I still ogle £3k bikes and the female equivalent, but I'm able to accept that I haven't got the ability to make the most of either even if I got the chance!

I dunno.. been through some weird stuff in the past 5(ish) years, whether its mid-life crisis.. more likely than those 30somethings (or 20somethings!) that think thats what they've been through - that'd be something different pal.
No urge to buy a sports car anyway.
No regrets so far (but then I didn't get caught 😉 )
Need MTBing to keep my mind balanced - without it there would be a [b]massive[/b] crisis, that is for certain.

I

n

m 38yr so thats my take on it anyways ....

Was a fat, beer swilling, fag smoking 38yr old but was good to my wife and kids and they loved me. After a bit of self assessment decided to give up the fags, cut down the booze and, after years of couch surfing, become a bit more active. Joined a gym, bought a 'mountain bike'(£150 gate) sorted out diet. Lost 56lbs...................and suddenly became attractive to women!(a novelty, to say the least). At this time we had an influx of younger staff (early/mid 20's)at work with whom I kinda fell in with - clubbing etc. The missus put up with all this with unbelievable good grace and we still got on fine. Then it happened..............the younger woman. Won't go into detail but went almost down the same path as Crikey, didn't leave home/family but the fall-out was pretty bad. Was depressed for about 2yrs after ending the affair and had lots to make up to my wife and kids. Everything is good now, though. The kids are doing well and are happy, my wife still loves me and I her, the younger woman is now married and expecting a child and we are also on reasonably good terms.It could have been a **** of a lot worse and might have been if it were not for my wifes determination that our marriage was worth saving, God bless her.

midlife crisis??? i havent grown beyond 15yrs old yet 🙂

<fact>

Ah yes... Giving up smoking. Really do need to do that and soon. Maybe I can have that as my midlife crisis.

Can anyone spare any will power?

Judging from the replies to this thread, I should have re-phrased it 'has anyone NOT had a midlife crisis?'

There seems to be a familiar pattern

mmm, must be the recesion that starts to make everyone think about there lives.
I'm looking at the future with possible earnings massivley less than I've earnt before but.... half of me is thinking that I will be far happier..half of me is dreading having a lot less money.. will I miss it ?

No I haven't had any sort of crisis. But at the age of 38 I did decide to do something I would always be able to look back on with a sense of accomplishment so I climbed a very big mountain.

It was quite a big deal to me at the time. I probably won't do anything like it again and I'm very glad I did it.

Crisis brought on by my mum dying early from a brain tumour after 15 years remission. Went from Carpe next Diem to grab it while it's there. Climbing, mountainbiking and all sorts of outdoorsy stuff. I think I'm out of it now though Mrs S says I have progressed to my second (third) childhood. All I need now is another bike... 🙄

Feeling another woman (or man) can work wonders and reinvigorate a middling relationship. Although I wouldnt condone man on man as your wife may pick up on the signs (such as tight armless tshirts, spandex pants and someone called 'Gary' calling you alot)......oh hang on..isnt that mountain biking?

I've had about 4 mid life crisis's so far.

The first one involved dirt jumping, I think that one ended with many broken ribs.
Then I had another one that involved skateboarding, that one ended with a broken leg.
Then I had a great idea about buying a sports car. That one ended with a broken bank balance.

The current one I'm having isn't nearly as much fun as the others and just seems to result in a broken samuri as I spiral further and further into a black depression. Ho hum.

Actually I want a motorbike next.

Lots of mid life changes are dubbed a 'crisis' by people who are just envious of the motorbike, girlfriend, sports car, etc.etc.

And what is classed as middle age now......40, 50, 60 ?

As someone who is recently single again, I am thoroughly enjoying riding my mtb's when I want, I can tinker with the MGB 'til my heart's content, listen to the music/tv/films [b]I[/b] want to listen to, or just sit and scratch my @rse, pure and simple !

Selfish ?.....possibly

Happier ?.....absolutely 😀

Simonm - depends if you need the money - I earn massively less than I used to, in a much less "exciting" job, but by a bit of clever (pre-housing boom/bust) relocation we have enough to live on, I get a lot of time with my wife and kids, and I'm less messed up than I was.

thats what I'm thinking swadey..

SWadey

finding an outlet to channel any work/life frustration - in my case by riding

I decided to do the entire Tour de France next year one day before the Pro's and I coincidently will be 40 only 2 weeks after , does that count ?

Hora - you ever seen the film 'High Fidelity' (yes I'm aware of the book but prefer the film) - quite apt to how you describe things - I feel very much the same.

(def in my top 5 films odf all time)

Just turned 49, done my CBT and Theory test, bike test 7th April. parents would'nt let me ride a motorcycle as a kid, so have been very frustrated over the past years. My wife is brilliant about this, even though we don't have loads of dosh, she is fully supporting me, I'm very luck - 25years of marriage without too many hitches and she rides at least 100 miles a week 😀

One happy mid life crisis here!

High Fidelity - on the list now. Ta 🙂

I did read a few great books by an author thats supposed to be similar. Based in London, guy breaks up with gf, goes out with a chinese lass etc. Arfgh what is he called?!!!

GOT IT- Tony Parsons 'Man and Boy'. Quality.

will be trying to cycle round the Annapurna circuit in 3 days in May

Tell me more...I visit Pokhara often and haven't as yet taken the bike there, though I'm considering it next time round. Is it with an organised company? It takes 3 weeks to walk round and I've done sections of it. Can't believe you can get round in 3 days!

Cyclelife

Good man!

Same age as me and this was mine which I sold last year but summer is coming up and ............ 🙂
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Pretty much reads like a bunch of self-obsessed aerosols to me...

Nickc

You sound like a fun guy....... or girl ? 🙄

Only 33... but in the last year I have been through the ringer. Got all very messy and so I went out and booked the CBT, Theory, Test - bought an old TDM 850 and ran around on that at the end of summer. Life got better, then went a whole lot worse in December (properly bad - about as bad as it can go badly to be honest), so when the dust was starting to settle I went out and bought a Triumph Speed Triple 😉

I don't think it was a mid life crisis... I plan to live longer than my mid 60's... so I have that fun to come yet!

Bring on the dancing girls, that's what I say 😉

...and on a cheery note,

"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say"

Kind of hits the mark in a miserable way, but does have one of the best guitar solo's evo! And I should know, I've been listening to it for the best part of thirty-four years!!!! 😯

Cheers,

LJ. 😉

binners, have a sex change? however, trust me on this I wouldn't letch at you 😆

Woody,

Looking forward to the test (7th April) just bought a 14 year old GPZ 500s to cut my teeth on for a while after the test - then fancy a sports tourer of some description (only 5' 8" so a bit limited)to tour/camp etc.

STW old F@rts motor cycle meet anyone?

So ... guys ... is this a male only thing?

Just curious, can't see any girlies having replied.

from age 15-25 I was in a number of rock bands. some crap, some not so crap. The last one I was in, we thought we could make it. then we fell out over money & recording sessions, and I quit the band & didn't play again.

for 18 years...

however, at the age of 43 (last summer) I started putting a new band together.
"just for fun, right?"

well it's still fun, but now we're talking about recording 🙂

And what is classed as middle age now......40, 50, 60 ?

I am 35 this year and at the moment am feeling distinctly odd about it all - I wouldn't say I've got as far as a mid life crisis yet, but am definitely feeling a bit wibbly about fear of approaching middle age.

so I had a chat with my dad about it the other week. He told me that I was not at all approaching middle age, I can't be because he hadn't reached it yet. Middle age is apparently always 10 years older than he is currently. So, at the moment, middle age is 85. I've plenty of time left 🙂