[Closed] MI5 are trying to recruit me

The closest people to James Bond are the ex 14th intelligence lot who left a trail of dirty antics and death behind them in NI and the current serving members of SRR.

What SRR do is far removed from James Bond! It's a seriously dirty job usually miles in front of the sharp end. You need massive balls to do what they do but I'd be surprised if they'd ever been in an embassy or touched a nice car.

I didn't mean the women, booze and shiny cars. 😛 I meant the dirty work that James Bond does.... killing people, surveillance and general mayhem in plain clothes.

Hmm. Reconnaissance is a massive part of what they do, and if they are killing people then generally speaking, something has gone massively wrong!

Hmm. Reconnaissance is a massive part of what they do, and if they are killing people then generally speaking, something has gone massively wrong!

I guess, this is semantics though. Their precursor regiments certainly did some questionable things that went beyond recce.

Do MI5 need shopkeepers as I'm Licenced To Till.

E Sqn FTW!
Apparently..

21 are suffering a bit though are they not? Failed to secure a firm role, with HAC taking the ISTAR stuff. I heard they were doing some pretty crap jobs when they thought they'd be door kicking. Second hand info though so don't hang me for it!

erm...the other posh one

Hull?

sorry, I have nothing to add on this subject

seriously. Nothing at all.

OK ?

Anyone know anything about damp-proofing extinct volcanic craters ?

Trouble is I'd end up in the Middle East rather than some s****y party in Rome or Venice, right?

Did he drive it in and out of the garage for 20 minutes and then looked pleased with himself too?

[i]Cool job though, I wonder why they want to hire a fantastically talented beautiful materials designer with almost encyclopaedia music knowledge and great baking skills [/i]

Cakes you say? Then maybe the Tea Lady has moved on. 🙂

Back to the OP, I could see why they might want to recruit bright, creative, street savvy young things (I don't think you're a "thing"!).

You seem to be confusing 5 with 6 there.

Not neccessarily. MI5 Operational Intelligence Officers will routinely work abroad.

Caterers

Rappers?

Licensed to ill?

You'll be spending your days on internet forums getting into slightly meaningless conversations with people you've never met, whilst pretending to be somebody you're not.
Bit like STW then 🙂

Mexican Boatbuilders
Licensed to Keel.

[i]I didn't mean the women, booze and shiny cars.[/i]

works for me, where do I sign?

If your job is to post fake reviews on Amazon, do you get a Licence to Shill?

stacking shelves

licence to fill?

i have an old neighbour who spent many years in NI then served out his time hiding in car boots in central london.. now house hunts for the rich and famous..

I applied for a job at MI5 years ago and got through but turned it down as the role was only 20k and I couldn't tell anyone what I was doing. Static Surveillance officer. Involved moving to London too. Always wondered what that would have been like... I've still got all the info they sent me about life in 5.

rob2 - Member
My boss's son is a physicist and work in a research part of the government in defence.

He can't tell anyone what he does.

Err....

Double agent required.

Licence to spill.

Wild bird Manager: Licensed to Krill

Parks Officer: Licensed to Stihl
Refrigeration controller: Licensed to Chill

Underwater observation: Licensed to Gill

The first test to see if you are eligible is the "did he blab to ter internetz?" test.

You failed.

I got a job offer from MI5 last year. £25k, central London? No thanks.

[quote=finbar ]I got a job offer from MI5 last year. £25k, central London? No thanks.

A job offer or an invitation to apply? 🙂

Nothing from Emsz in 11 hours. I suspect a fitting for an orange holiday outfit and a free flight somewhere exotic.
In flight service a little basic and everyone turns right at the top of the steps.

Perhaps being measured for the correct size holdall to zip into?

She's Perhaps being measured for the correct size holdall to zip into?

I think she passed that stage, she's now trying to get out....

A job offer or an invitation to apply?

Nah, I went through all the stages. To be fair to them their recruitment process is pretty cool. Although I won't say any more than that.

Not now they are not. Not read rest of thread but OP, I think you've failed the first test!

I was just a bit shocked really to find out that they put adverts in place like Indeed or Reed. Just seems a bit weird yknow?

I still don't get the holdall thing? What are you all going on about?

I still don't get the holdall thing? What are you all going on about?

I think you've failed in the "research" bit of the job description too Emsz! 😉

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Gareth_Williams

Mildly tasteless joke about some bloke that actually worked for a different agency.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Gareth_Williams
/p>

EDIT: Too slow, again!

Gareth Williams was an Mi6 operative who was found dead in a locked sports holdall in the bath in his flat.

Edit: Bugger 3rd must type faster.

accountants?

license to bill

window fitters?

license to sill

The first test to see if you are eligible is the "did he blab to ter internetz?" test.

done already, 2nd post in thread, keep up.

When working at a military establishment I once went to a talk by somebody from MI5 who evidently thought himself a bit of a Bond. Afterwards we took him to the Officers Mess for a drink, and at the bar somebody seeing him in civvies and being polite introduced himself and asked him where he was from. He replied "I'm with the spooks", yes, he really said that, as if we were all going to cream ourselves with excitement. What a c0ck womble.........

I've never been able to take MI5 seriously ever since