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I just don't know what to say, this sounds simply awful for you. I've got three week old twins at home right now and I simply can't bear and don't dare to allow myself to think too much about all this.
It seems you've done a really good thing by posting on here, the support looks fantastic.
Bear could you possibly send me the info for that service. Im not sleeping eating all I keep thinking is his face wen I first saw him Friday..
I dont want that on my mind and I think I need to speak to someone.
Thank yet again for your kind words they mean so much..
My partner not a fan of forum but even she said how supportive you have all been and she says thank you
Much love xx
Just saw this thread. I'm so sorry about George. It must be just awful for all of you. Cry lots.
Bruders, I'm just up the road from you near Canterbury. As with the others, drop me a line if I can help.
Nothing more I can add that hasn't already been said.
Sometimes strangers can be easier to talk to than friends and family, just for getting things off your chest.
Take care all of you.
Im not sleeping eating all I keep thinking is his face wen I first saw him Friday..
I agree that seeing a qualified therapist will help you.
What you describe above are [i]normal reactions to an abnormal event[/i] it is normal to feel as you do, it is part of the long road to healing.
I have no words to offer that can convey my feelings. Dad of 2 myself and just cannot comprehend what you are going through.
Deepest condolences. If your ever near Manchester, look me up mate. Quite ride or beer waiting for you.
Bruder's once again I'm sorry for your loss after reading this thread last night I've not thought of much else as a father myself it's always a fear of mine .I've wrote a few words and I hope you don't mind ,I just hop it can give you and your family abit of comfort in these sad times
May you sleep little George in eternal sleep do not worry in the angels keep,love so great your family has for you you will never be forgotten so do not weep .May the love of family never be as strong,through the heartache and upset may the memory of your smile shine through bringing the family together with the love they have for your.
God bless you little fella rest in peace
So sorry for you and your family.
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you crezzy for them beautiful words..
And nothing more I can say to you all except thank you.
My son is on his way home. Fingers crossed I say the right thing. Wish me luck
Xxx
Wishing you strength and courage, Bruders.
Brudders will look it out later. Take care
I've tried to reply to this thread 4 or 5 times now and any words I wrote just seemed inadequate, as the dad of two boys and one on the way I can't imagine what you must be going through.
So sorry for your loss and I'm sure little George is getting all the cuddles he needs from your Mom.
Hugs from all here in the Colton household.
I have read the thread a few times and my sympathy goes out to you and your family. After much deliberation I am struggling with meaningful words but my thoughts are with you. I hope the messages and talking help you through this difficult time.
Bruders
I sincerely wish that your son's life and memory can make your family even stronger going forward. Pain is horrible, time is both cruel and a healer.
You are in many people's thoughts and we all support your family.
My son is on his way home. Fingers crossed I say the right thing. Wish me luck
There is no right an wrong, just what you feel is the best thing to say.
I was thinking about this thread when I went out for a ride today and found myself riding past the spot where my friend was killed on his bike a few years ago. I sobbed up that hill thinking of him and you then went down the otherside realising how lucky I am despite what has been a shitty few years for various reasons.
My heart goes out to you, Bruders. There are no adequate words - except to say that everybody on here is keeping you and your family in their thoughts & prayers.
Take care.
Bruders like many others I have been thinking of you and your family since first reading yesterday, though unsure of what to write.
Being a dad of two young boys I can't even get near to comprehending what you and your family must be going through. I am not religious in the slightest but found myself praying for you and your family before going to sleep last night. The other guys here at my work were also saddened by the story (I had to tell someone) and also said that they would pray for you, your family and for George.
I really like the idea of him being up there safe with your mum and I think this is something you should believe in fully.
Take it easy buddy and keep us informed - we are all here for you
Wishing you all the very best and hope that you and your family are able to stay strong through this tragedy.
I know I would be in bits if I lost any of my kids and feel humbled by the fact you were able to share this with us.
Rob
The big brother and sister are home..
At first it was where George?
we both sat them down and said the other night when you saw mummy and daddy crying we was crying because George had died.
silence.
Then Alfie said i dont want George to die. at this point me and Charlotte both started crying.
then the whole thing was asking about what happends when you die, and trying to explain that you normally die when your old but sometime accidents happen. which George was.
to be honest it was not as bad i i was expecting we both got big hugs and kisses and having them here has made us busy and not just sat thinking ifs and butts.
I also popped into my TA unit and had a good chat (crying quite alot) but was told that i dont have to worry about things and that they were going to organize some things for me.
for example we are not religious so did not fancy a church but my boss is qualified at given speech's at church's etc etc so as he knows the family i thought it would be better to have someone that know us and not just saying nice things because it there job (not ment to be rude or anything)
just thought yet again i would share to you all my thoughts.
thanks for being there
lewis
That sounds like it went as well as you could have hoped for, straight forward but not insensitive. The only way with anything as life changing as this is to take one step at a time but explaining it to the kids would have been a big step, you should take some pride in the way that you've coped so far.
Sounds like it went well.
Well done and keep strong.
Your son and daughter sound very brave. I know you must feel terrible. I hope you have a good network of friends and family to support you. If you find yourself awake at 3am wanting to talk to someone then do, they will understand.
It sounds like you are dealing with this in the best way possible Lewis. I think lots of us have been thinking about this. I think just sharing with people is a good thing.
Bruders (Lewis)
Looks like you got the hugs I thought you would from your kids,
TBH children often seem to deal with this sort of stuff better than we do as I think they have neat compartments to put stuff in where as we have all these guilt feelings (I'm probably not making sense am I)
I tried to tell my wife about you and just had to walk away as I was about to cry, I seem to have turned into an emotional wreck over the last few years and well up at lots of things?
I have had several texts from others on here who all say that they have been really affected by this thread and its made them realise that despite the cockend behavior that often pervades here when one of us is suffering most will help out if they can.
I saw this thread yesterday and didn't feel I had anything to say that hadn't already been said. Just looking back at the last couple of posts today has been enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Everything must sound so trite, but take it one day at a time, try to just keep doing the things that have to be done - sleeping, eating, talking - and it will, slowly, feel less awful.
Lewis
I must say that I am in awe of how you are handling this. You are an inspiration!
Joe
Bruders,
you are dealing with it in the way I wish I could have when my son died. I bottled it up to the point where I just couldn't talk about him to family, even now seven years later. This was until today when I realised, from reading your posts, that I need to do something about it.
On my ride today I thought about you knowing somewhere in the town where I live there is someone hurting badly. I shed a tear for you and
for my son.
Nick
Its been said a few times, but its hard to put into words ... can only wish you strength and you're family all the best. take care of yourself brother .... Dylan08
I'm struggling to type anything thinking of your families sorrow - i keep on welling up. You don't have to be directly connected to feel your pain, i wish i could offer something to help.
When we went out for a curry tonight with our little 7 month old boy, as we walked out of the door and seen the full moon beaming down on us, i thought of your little George smiling down on you - i shed a tear which fell onto my wee lad.
He has had two teeth come out in the last couple of weeks, and we got him a wee tothbrush and toothpaste so got him to brush his teeth for the 1st time tonight.
I held him extra tight as i rocked him to sleep, thinking of you and your family.
If you are ever up near Cannock, and fancy dropping in for one of my wifes home made curries and a beer / cuppa. Just let me know, you and the family would be more than welcome.
xx The Gixer Family
So Sorry for your loss, incomprehensible how you must feel.
my thoughts are with you and your family.
take care...
It make me cry every time I read someone comment as it bring back the pain, but also for all your kind words and generosity I never thought a forum would be this much help.. Im not strong at all its each and everyone of you. Your the people getting me through this.
But the last few hr my oldest son is becoming very naughty. Not sure if its for attention or the fact his also hurting and this is the way he wishes to cope... But it does make it hard for us right now..
Anyway we are all down stairs on the kids mattress as a family ( because me and Charlotte cannot face our room) all cuddled up. Just hope I can get through the night
You're doing brilliantly mate. Your son's behaviour is probably just his way of dealing with events (not that I'm any kind of expert).
Hope you're coping as best you can (and as I said, you're doing great), love to you all.
So sorry for your loss, stay strong
Lewis, keep posting.
Share your grief.
There is no right or wrong when something like this happens.
Life will never be the same but it will get easier.
Don't look for explanations.
Just do what you're doing and time will do the rest.
From one dad to another, I think you're amazing.
Now stop reading this and hold Charlotte.
Very sorry for your loss, hope you can stay strong
Again, no words.
Deepest condolences.
Claire
I think your other kids will surprise you in the coming months with their acceptance of this situation.
They will adapt to their new world more quickly than you expect, and sometimes shock you with their honesty and matter-of-factness.
My 3 year old daughter coped with a close berevement very well once the shock had passed. They just need your reassurance that the way they are feeling is OK.
Right now just try to get through each day together, you don't need to be strong, or brave, you just have to be there.
Kids will adapt far better than us as adults.
I imagine the children's moods/temperaments will sway in many directions in the coming days/weeks as there emotions flit from one thing to the next (as all children do when dealing with anything).
Keep your chin up and remember that any of us on this thread are thinking of you and your family and hoping it gets easier (however impossible that seems currently).
Love can cause such pain. I wish you strength and peace.
Hi Bruders, I keep coming back to this thread and am so glad you and your family seem to be finding the way to deal with the immense pain you must be going through. It's also restoring my belief in humanity with the messages of support and levels of empathy shown.
Our son has a heart condition which has left us with the possibility of being in your situation for the last 10 years. I tend to try and put it to the back of my mind but your story has reminded me how lucky we actually are.
I'm also in Kent so, as others have said, feel free to email me if you need anything at all.
Sill thinking of you all.
Bruders, you sound like a fantastic father and an amazing man, George was lucky to have you to look up to as his Daddy
I myself am a twin, but like Emily, I lost my identical brother aged 8 weeks old to cot death. Although I obviously don't remember the time we spent together personally, he is still with me and has been all of my life.
Be strong for your family and never ever forget to mention George often to your children. My parents never forgot my brother and used to joke about what he'd make of me now! They still do actually 🙂 He was the thinking, contemplative, quiet type apparently. I always say he stole the common sense and intellect genes, or at least that was my excuse any time I got bad grades! Each birthday and Christmas I have always visited him and let off a helium balloon in his memory, for that to float away into the sky where he is now. It simply reminds me he may be gone but is never forgotten. Because my parents have always been so open and positive, my memories and thoughts of him are nothing but happy ones. Its sad that he isn't with me sharing my life now, and yes i admit I do shed tears occasinally when im feeling low, but to be honest, he'd have probably been a roadie anyway!
As someone said in an earlier post, although George had a short life, his being here has changed the world forever. He has made hundreds of parents give their children those extra hugs these past days after reading this thread - extra hugs they perhaps otherwise wouldn't have got. George has made so many parents now treasure their children even more than they did before. It can never be denied that George has had such a positive impact on everyone here, and for that we are all so proud of him and you xx
A phrase that actually really helped me and my older siblings when I was younger was one my mother told me - that wherever my brother was in the sky, he could always see the moon. That moon is exactly the same as what I could see every night, so all I had to do to be near him was look at the moon and know he would also be doing the same...
My very best wishes Lewis, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. I guess the nights must be particularly traumatic as any little sleep you might get means that you have rediscover the awful reality when you wake up. All sleeping together and supporting each other sounds good.
If as you say you find posting your thoughts and feelings on here is easier right now than talking to your family, then keep doing it - without a need to apologize. You can see from the overwhelming response to this thread that people really do care.
Those were lovely pictures you posted btw.