Rights of the child applies here. Pay him not to play? Incentives a Tenner now, and 50 if he keeps quiet for 6 months. Buy a goal set? Make friends with him?
Deploying mosquito, dog shit and threats is the most childish and selfish response. You would deserve dog shit on your house.
Get a couple of long poles and a big f-off net above the fence. Angle in such a way that the ball can't get into your garden and just gently rolls back down to the annoying kid. Done.
Those Mosquito things are actually very effective - although you do have to deploy them sensibly - some ****er put one up next to some council tennis courts, and just left it running 24/7! We were in our early thirties, playing tennis on a Saturday afternoon, and it got so bad we had to pack-it-in and go to the pub. Probably wouldn't be able to hear it these days 🙂
I think if you fitted one but only turned it on when the kicking became particularly antisocial, that would be reasonable. It would also give you some scalability in your response - climbs over fence having been asked not to: mosquito goes on. It's not about being a grumpy old man, it's just about (gently) encouraging a change towards more considerate behavior.
But also - get one of the wee protective cages to go around the unit. In the above tennis incident, if there was a half-brick lying about, the little plastic emitter would have been history.
Spread superglue all over your wall
EDITED to add, I suspect the kid doesn’t like being at home as he’s happy to stand out in the pouring rain at 10 pm
Maybe see if theres as youth work service - within the council or local branches of charities such as Barnardos etc - doing any outreach / street work locally (Perhaps his school even.) who can approach him and maybe offer something more interesting to do with his evenings
It seems like annoying you is the nearest thing to fun and friendship he can get - at least he gets noticed.
Bluetooth speaker placed strategically tuned to Classic FM will see him off.
Quick update. He was at it again on Monday - boof, boof, boof, from late afternoon. Still at it at 10.30. BOOF..., BOOF, BOOF. Did exactly what I expressly set out not to do - went out and lost my shit. Pointed out the many other walls in the neighbourhood which have the same qualities as mine, managed not to swear and RESULT! He still kicks the ball about but doesn't kick it anywhere near the fence / wall.
Even heard him telling his mates to keep it away from our end of the green in a slightly panicky voice.
So thanks to all those who suggested a hard-line approach. He isn't a bad lad - he hasn't spray painted a willy on my wall or twocked my car. I just needed some reassurance that sometimes, some kids need a ****ing shouting at.
Now go and say thanks to him and give some positive reinforcements.
Nah. He knew what he was doing and I'm not going to thank him for not being a dick, although it did cross my mind in that first rosy glow of a peaceful evening.
