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Beforehand I was worried about the impact on 'fun stuff'
He's so much fun that now I wish we'd done it earlier.
2 kids here - 2 and 3 and a half.
I'll not lie, its been bloody tough. We chose to drop down to one wage and my wife quit her career to bring up our boys. We've no family within 100 miles so haven't really had much help or downtime. Money has been pretty tight and I've not really ridden my mtb properly for over a year - although I commute around 90 miles a week through the woods.
Now my eldest is at nursery school and my youngest is demanding to go to it as well (he big bro keeps going on about how much fun it is). My wife is starting a job at the beginning of october and our finances are about to get a whole load better. My work have been amazing about letting me work flexible hours when Mrs Yoss goes back which has been a massive help.
Time wise, both of the kids have calmed down a afair bit and are both sleeping through and are totally manageable by one person so we're both getting a chance to do stuff again. Mrs Yoss went on a weekend Aikido training course last week and I'm off to wales for a weekend of riding before the new year as well as being about to get out for an evening a week.
As others have said its the fiurst 18 mnths or so that are the hardest but its important to realise that its just a short phase that does end.
My wife and I kind of feel like we've woken from hibernation and are sticking our heads out into the fresh air for the first time in 3 years - the world is still there and people you've not seen for a while are still around and the things that you used to enjoy are still fun.
AND you have another little person to share it all with...
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...two in my case
do it : )
I would say there isn't always a right time but you adapt to the situation and it's the best thing that's happened to me. I'm glad I waited until I was in my early 30s though so that I was more mature and also earning more money, so more stability.
This why we're here folks - and also why shagging feels so nice 😀
Is there a right time? Well erm yes and no, it depends completely on personal circumstance, and to a large degree the career of the woman. Me and Mrs FD planned a rough time period of time when we could try and have a baby so that it wouldnt jeopardise her career, luckily baby came along just at the right time (after she secured an 8 year contract which is the golden tickect in her profession)
However in other ways the time was not right, I work miles from home and am away 12 hours a day, some thing we did not plan on happening.
Its very hard work, and life as you knew it no longer exists, whilst never resenting it at first I found this difficult, but now are son is so rewarding, and the bond so ubeleivably strong it doesnt matter. I do still however find it odd when some people say that there life felt incomplete before having children.
I would however say to anyone dont get preggers in your 20's, go out enjoy like, do all the things you want to do, because when a child comes along you certainly wont be able to!
If both of you want one, go for it, it will be hard, and you will never be so tired but when your son/daughter laughs and smiles at you, some how none of that matters.
the teaboy - MemberBeforehand I was worried about the impact on 'fun stuff'He's so much fun that now I wish we'd done it earlier.
I'm mostly looking forward to being able to go to the playground with a mini chickadee and not get looked at like I escaped from the loony bin. Going on the swings is frowned upon when you're 30+ it seems.
Ah yes I have already had thoughts about going to watch motor racing, going karting, playing with scaletrix... all for my son of course !
There may or may not be a right time to have a first child but from experience there is a right time to have a second and that is very soon after the first. We have a 9 year old and an 18month old and by christ i wish I had gone along with the wifes nagging for a second soon after and not 7+ years after. Love them both to bits but finacially we are ****ed and have long way to go before child care bills are no more. Plus as the first go older I got oads more time for the really selfish stuff that blokes like to do, but now i am back to grabbing the odd hour here or there. Honestly I thought i was turning the corner to easy street and then wham!!